#sniperares

“I don’t trust you,” Jason corrected, tipping the cool glass bottle in his hand towards her, “there’s a difference.” Essentially the same outcome, but in his mind, trust and liking were two very different things. There were many out there that he trusted, though didn’t necessarily like. Eilidh had the disadvantage of being on the negative end on each spectrum.

He huffed and adjusted his posture, relaxing more into his own corner of the couch and tipping his head back to rest against the cushions. Come to think of it, he was surprised she was even still here. Dom wasn’t around, hadn’t been all week, and yet she still showed up as though she expected that bright smile of Dom’s to greet her at the door. He assumed she just forgot, but then she wasn’t an idiot. She must have known. He’d had enough drinks in him to not even consider her motives when he let her inside–and now here they were relaxing on his sofa. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, letting his eyes fall shut as he braced the half full bottle in his hand rest on his leg.

“Don’t make yourself out as being anything special. There are a lot of people I don’t trust. You just have the misfortune of reminding me of someone else. Makes it worse.” It was an admission he hadn’t meant to make. Thought he hadn’t said anything until it came out. The beers he’d consumed must be finally getting to him. When he realized, his eyes opened and he stared straight ahead. “Just don’t flatter yourself by thinking I care what ever fucking rumors float around this place. I don’t give a shit what people say.”

“Be careful, I might almost start to like you if you keep talkin’ like that...” Eilidh snorted, sincerely surprised by her own feelings. But she couldn’t help liking people who refused to listen to gossip; they were few and far between, but they were the people who saw her the most clearly, who didn’t let other people’s bitterness or spite get in the way of understanding who she really was. They valued the truth about people.

At least, that was usually the case. Corrigan was an exception, and thinking about it chilled any warmth she’d felt at his words. It bothered her more somehow, knowing that it wasn’t the usual gossip that made him refuse to trust her, because then what could she do about it? If it wasn’t simply a matter of proving the stories about her false, how could she convince him that she wasn’t the asshole he thought? Frustration and helplessness rose in Eilidh, making her fidget with her glass and glance around the room as if searching for a distraction, or an escape route. He always made her feel this way, the bastard. Every conversation came down to defending herself or running away. Fight or flight.

The odd thing was, she was less and less convinced that he wanted to attack her. It seemed instinctive, and it was hurtful, but there was a weariness to it all that seemed more clear every time they talked. As if he was as tired of all this as she was but had to keep going for reasons of his own. The misfortune of reminding me of someone else.

[Eh I have a feeling Jason is going to tell her things this time.]

jason: ...

“I dinnae need to use anybody to feel just fuckin’ fine about myself. You’re the one who doesnae like me, not me.” Eilidh scooted deeper into the corner of the couch. Why had she thought this might be okay? Ever since that night he had come to her rescue at the bar, she’d had this fucking curiosity she couldn’t get rid of, like something between them wasn’t finished. Like maybe, just maybe, the fucking tension and fighting and all that didn’t have to be their whole relationship.

Too fucking optimistic, as always.  

[Found this WAY BACK in my inbox (like… back when Jason was Nomad :-p) and idk why I never answered it??? May have been around a hiatus. ANYWAY YES. I feel like Truck’s kinda been biding his time with Jason, just sort of watching him go through life and be grumpy and hang out with Dom, and he’s just sort of not sure how to make a friend out of him. Not that he’s ever really at a loss that way, but he gets the impression that it would be easy to piss Jason off and get him to shut that door irrevocably.

So Truck just chills. Hangs out with Dom (because they’re definitely bros <3), listens to Eilidh complain about Jason and encourages her to be patient with him “like I’m patient with you,” he says, earning himself a shocked “well fuck you,” the kind that means Eilidh knows he’s right :-D

After a while, Jason just sort of gets used to Truck being around. Truck’s always friendly, never seems to be bothered by Jason’s moods, they respect each other’s skills, they just aren’t close. But Jason’s probably heard Truck tell stories (because, you know, Truck never shuts up), so he has a sense of what kind of man he is. He knows how much Truck cares about his family, how important it is to him to be of use to people, how he isn’t selfish. Doesn’t make things about him. Doesn’t take from people things they aren’t offering.

[So she goes for Dom's sake and expects to be told off, but instead just finds Jason curled up in bed looking lost. Fighting is all he knows anymore and without it and Dom he thinks about things better left forgotten. He is wounded in more ways than one, she realizes...]

[But like imagine her crawling into his bed without saying a word and just laying next to him. They aren't touching, but he watches her and something in his eyes makes her think he is a little glad she is there, even if he would never say as much.]

[This is just... FEELS all around omg. I mean, first of all, that conversation between Eilidh and Dom would not be a simple one, because Eilidh is going to resist. She is not the right person for the job, there must be someone else, she has no idea how to “check in” on Corrigan what does that even mean? Why would Dom ask her to do something that would make both her and Corrigan so uncomfortable? She wouldn’t say no, of course, not if he insisted, but she really doesn’t expect it to go well. At all.

She shows up with no idea what to say or ask. How will she know if he’s doing okay? He has one setting: annoyed. That’s his full range of emotions, as far as she knows, although sometimes she’s been lucky enough to see “less annoyed,” which is kind of unsettling, if she’s being honest. Though it’s better than “VERY annoyed.”

What is she supposed to say when she sees a man like that looking so lost and alone and small? There’s nothing to say, which is really for the best, given their track record.

She doesn’t lie next to him at first, though. Instead, she stands there for a moment, thinking about her options. It seems wrong to sit on Dom’s bed and just look at the guy, like she’s looking at an animal in a zoo. Besides, she’s there because Dom can’t be. Dom would make Jason feel better, so she has to try. Carefully, but she has to try.

So she sits at the end of his bed. She gives him a chance to push her off, to yell at her, but it’s almost worse when he doesn’t say anything. How broken does he have to be, she wonders, if he almost looks glad that I’m here? Maybe it’s good that I’m here.