#snc x reader

You weren’t an insecure person—usually. It was no secret that you weren’t exactly the thinnest person in the friend group. Compared to the other girls, you felt incredibly out of place. You’d always been a bigger girl compared to your peers. You had been buying out of the plus-sized clothing sections for so long, you weren’t sure that you’d ever been able to buy non-plus-sized clothing. When you were younger, you were a lot more insecure. You constantly would watch your weight, try whatever dieting fad your mom stuck under your nose in an attempt to make you skinny. None of it ever worked—any weight you would lose in the beginning of a diet was gained back relatively quickly. As you’d gotten older, though, you learned to embrace your curves. They were a part of you, just like your stretch marks and cellulite. If people didn’t like that, then they had no business in your life.

When you started dating Colby, you learned to love yourself even more. It wasn’t one of those cases where a girl meets a boy and he magically fixes all of her insecurities, of course. But knowing that a man as attractive as Colby loved you just the way you were instilled a sort of confidence in you that you hadn’t had before. There were still some downfalls, of course. Colby, as an attractive young man with a young female following, had some seriously rude fans. There was a constant stream of comments telling you that you were too fat, that you needed to go to the gym, that there was “no way in hell that Colby would date someone like you”. There were a few well-meaning comments, too, ones suggesting workout routines and diets to try, some tagging you in workout videos on Instagram or Twitter. But you couldn’t care less. You were quick to block the hateful commenters. You learned to look past the comments giving you “helpful suggestions”. You loved yourself the way you were, so why couldn’t they? 

In spite of your confidence in your day-to-day life, you rarely made an appearance in Colby’s videos. The few videos you had appeared in had a slew of comments about your weight, all varying in rudeness, and you knew Colby took it to heart a lot more than you did. So, you opted out of videos a lot of the time, making the rare appearance in videos where a lot of the friend group was present. But after you moved into the new Trap House with Colby, Sam, Jake, and Corey, it was a lot harder to avoid the camera. So, you joined more and more videos until Sam and Colby asked you the fateful question: Would you join them in exploring a bando for Sam and Colby 3.0? 

While you had your reservations—you knew people would have something to say about you climbing fences or the way your thighs jiggled when you ran or any other perceived flaw they had of you—you also knew that exploring an abandoned location would be so much fun. You didn’t want to miss out on that opportunity, so you happily agreed. And honestly? The little exited face Colby made when you said “yes” was enough to make you join in on every exploration he asked you to partake in.

That is, until you actually got to the exploration part.

Sam and Colby chose an abandoned school an hour and a half outside of LA to explore. It was supposed to not have a lot of security present and was relatively easy to get inside. That wasn’t the problem. The problem was when you all arrived at the school, having just walked about a mile from where Colby parked the car. To get into the school, you first had to climb a fence. 

While you had long stopped working out with the intent of losing weight, you still had a fairly rigorous routine designed to build your strength. You particularly loved rock climbing, so climbing the chainlink fence was a breeze. Colby, who had gone first, wore a surprised expression on his face as he watched you easily climb up then jump down.

“Damn,” he said. “Didn’t expect you to do that so easily.” 

You blinked slowly. Did he really just say that? You forced a laugh, deciding that he probably didn’t mean anything by that. You had been neglecting your workout routine as of late, so maybe it had something to do with that? Right? 

You shook off your shock, watching as Sam scaled the same fence with a camera in hand with surprising ease, a feat that deserved a praise from Colby but was met with silence. The three of you then made your way up to the school, circling it several times to try and find an accessible entrance.

Finally, you spotted an open window a few feet off the ground. “Will that work?” you asked, pointing it out to your boyfriend and his best friend.

Sam looked at it for a moment before nodding. “It’s the best thing we’ve seen so far. Let’s go for it.” 

The three of you walked over to it. As you stood in front of it, you realized that it was a bit higher than you could reach on your own. Colby seemed to realize it, too, and began to say, “Do you need me to help—”

A surge of energy spiked in you as you jumped slightly, grabbing onto the window’s ledge and hoisting yourself up. You didn’t need a fucking man’s help. You pulled yourself through the window, stumbling slightly as you landed inside a classroom.

Colby came a minute or so after you, a wide grin on his face. “Hey, that was really good! I didn’t expect you to be able to do that.” 

You forced a smile, muttering a thanks. Was this man really this clueless? Or did he actually think so little of you?

You didn’t speak much the rest of the exploration. Occasionally, Sam would crack a joke and you’d say something witty. But whenever Colby would say something, you found yourself forcing a laugh but not really adding anything. You were sure that would stir some shit up in the comments, but you were too hurt to care. 

The exploration came to an end when security pulled in, watching as Colby was doing some dumb shit on the roof. The three of you made a break for the exit, stopping only to duck behind things to make sure security wasn’t about to catch you. 

By the time you had made it back to the car, you felt like you ran a marathon. Colby took off down the road as Sam launched into the outro. When it was all said and done, Sam turned the camera off and Colby looked at you in the rear-view mirror.

“Good job keeping up today!” Colby said. “I was really impressed.” 

You were too tired to say anything, so you said nothing.

When you got back to the Trap House, you got in the shower. You tried to make it quick, feeling too exposed after all the hurt you’d endured today. But, as you dried yourself off with the towel, you found yourself staring in the mirror, analyzing your every feature. You suddenly felt like an insecure little girl again. God, how could one bad day do so much to ruin your confidence? 

You didn’t know how long you stood staring at yourself in the mirror, but you knew it was too long when Colby came walking in, concern written on his face.

“Is everything okay?” he asked.

“Do you think I’m too fat?” 

Colby’s jaw dropped. “Of course not! You’re perfect just the way you are. You know that. You know I love everything about you.” 

“Then...then why did you make all those comments today?”

His brows furrowed together. “Comments? What comments?”

“About how impressed you were that I could keep up. That you didn’t think I could do what I did. It made me feel like you thought I wasn’t good enough to be there with you guys.”

His arms were wrapped around you in an instant. “I’m so sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. I was just...I don’t know. I was an idiot. I wasn’t thinking about what I was saying.”

“Yeah, you were a big idiot alright.”

Colby laughed lightly, then dipped his head to kiss your shoulder. “I think I’m gonna need to make things up to you,” he said, kissing down your chest. “How’s that sound?” 

“Mmm, you’ve got a lot of making up to do. Better get to work, baby boy.” 

“Whatever you want, my sweet angel.”