#snarkasm

Today, at 0:00 UTC, Twitch Plays Pokemon is returning to their Black 1 save file to get Jimmy C. Gimmick and his team FINALLY into the Hall of Fame!

For the three hours before this, there will be three straight hours of Pokemon Battle Revolution commentary. As a reminder, the start of the Black 1 save file will trigger the END of Season Two of Pokemon Battle Revolution, so your score WILL be reset. 

Also, and this is just my personal recommendation, going all-in on Metronome is GREATLY discouraged, especially if you happen to already be in the top 300. Not only will virtual PBR crates be distributed based on your balance at the end of Season Two, but the top 300 on the PBR leaderboards will have their names placed within the Randomized White 2 trainer name randomization list, giving them a chance to be immortalized in lore! 

Possibly with the wrong gender, age, skin tone, or attitude, of course. So... if you DON’T want to have the Randomizer mess with you, then by all means go all in.

Ghost :  😒 "I feel like I should be wearing plaid and listening to coffee house music."

It’s amazing how much can change over a decade. Ten years ago, if I was sitting and needed to be standing, it was simple - I was sitting, then I STOOD. Fast forward ten years, several sprains, breaks, a hernia or two, and a car-to-pedestrian accident and all that’s changed.

Standing now requires a complicated routine which must be painstakingly executed EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. in great detail. It starts with toe-touchies - or, rather, trying-to-but-can’t-quite toe-touchies. Once sufficient distance is achieved between the chest and seat, the spine freezes in place, the trick knee locks up, and both arthritic hips say “Uh, NO.” This phase results in a poor imitation of the invisible-humper pose from “The Time Warp” as executed by a crumbling wax mannequin. Once the knee decides to cooperate the spine is ready to bend again, resulting in a reversal of the previous angle into an overachiever’s Limbo mixed with a drunken Macarena. The knee, again, says “Yo mama.” Finally, after a few more moments of audibly ratcheting my spine a little straighter increment by painful, crackling increment, we hit the grand finale - the crackhead zombie who failed in auditioning for “Thriller.” Despite feeling like my jaw should be hanging from its socket and my intestines should be dragging the floor, I am now capable of (mostly) bipedal movement...until my knee, again, says “Hey, remember me?”