#snark notes

Hi anon,

While I certainly wouldn’t say never, it’s definitely not near the top of my list. I will give Maas ALL of the props for her writing style. It is lush and gorgeous. But the plot and tropes she used in A Court of Thorns and Roses were just really not good. I can’t say I want to torture myself with more of that.

But I am encouraged by you letting me know that it seems to add more to the story line, and having glanced at some of the reviews on Goodreads it seems that lots of people agree that the second is much better than the first.

So I’ll say this - the possibility of me reading it has gotten a bit higher, but there’s a lot more I rather read first.

Hi all! There is going to be a very brief hiatus of book reviews on this blog. I’m hoping for no more than a week.

A lot of stuff has gone down in my personal life and I need to rebuild my queue.

where: Troy

what: a really, really long war

why: Paris (Prince of Troy and asshole extraordinaire) showed up to a dinner party at Menalaus’ house and kidnapped his wife Helen 

Menelaus is pissed

Helen is also pissed because every is blaming her for being a harlot and she’s shut up inside Troy with a bunch of old dudes and judgmental noblewomen 

Agamemnon, brother of Menelaus and Major Rich Dude In Charge is being a little shit. He and Achilles took some women as war prizes while they were out looting (as one does) and Aggie took the daughter of a priest of Apollo

rookie move tbh

he gets at least five chances to give the girl back and make good with Apollo and he’s too busy being Angry and Powerful and Painfully Idiotic

so Apollo sends down a plague on the camp. people are keeling over left and right.

the seer (there’s always one) tells everyone that the plague is punishment for Agamemnon being lame as hell

Agamemnon basically backflips out a nonexistent window and starts foaming at the mouth, and steals Achilles’ home girl

he’s Mr. steal your (war prize) girl

this is not the best move because it is an insult to Achilles honor.

these dudes would rather set themselves on fire and jump into a pool of gasoline than have their honor questioned

why is human trafficking is a point of honor? no idea

 but honor is bae

Achilles runs away, sits on a rock, cries and plays the lyre for approximately the next 20-30 pages

everyone dies because Achilles isn’t there. he is the best and nothing gets done without him. it’s every angry fourteen yet-old’s fantasy— “maybe if I run away, THEN you’ll see!!!” 

so many people die

the gods keep fucking with people and spiriting them away in mist

this makes hand to hand combat much more difficult than necessary and may be why the war lasted so incredibly long

Paris continues to run around being incompetent 

his brother Hector rolls his eyes a lot and slays people

Helen is still trapped in Troy and is still the best person in the Epic. Everyone is still being terrible to her. 

Agamemnon starts to realize he fucked up and sends some people to apologize to Achilles. 

He offers Achilles a bunch of cities, his daughter to marry, a noble position, hella tripods and cauldrons, and a bunch of other weird Greek bullshit 

Achilles is just like “nah” and continues staring dramatically into the distance

his main bro/bff/lover/boyfriend/soulmate Patroclus is fed up with Achilles’ drama and decides to go fight

Achilles lends him his fancy armor to terrify people with and continues sulking on the beach because nothing could possibly go wrong in this scenario

plot twist: after slaying a bunch of Trojans, Patroclus is killed by Hector. wow, who saw that one coming? (literally everyone except Achilles)

Achilles levels up and gets some new badass armor from the gods to avenge Patroclus 

he returns to the battle, kills a bunch of dudes, gets in a sword fight with a river, and then with a little divine help, manages to kill Hector

revenge over, right? WRONG

then Achilles drags Hector’s body around behind a chariot and sulks a lot more

Hector’s dad Priam shows up and makes puppy dog eyes at Achilles. they both weep and beat their breasts a lot and bond over the universality of grief 

then they have dinner together and Achilles is like “yeah, I guess you can have your son’s corpse back”

and Priam is like “nice”

and then everyone in Troy weeps and laments Hector

there’s much beating of breasts and wailing

then it’s over

and you’re like what about the Trojan horse? what about Helen? nothing is resolved

well PSYCH

none of those things are in the Iliad

just weeping

war sucks

Hang in there with me, Snark Notes fans. I checked out a lot of AvX books from the library and I need to make my way through them before they are due back.

Me: Oh hey. We can play a game. After I finish B.J. Novak's book I want to read a classic

Me: WUT SHOULD I READ

Friend: hmmmm

Friend: what haven't you read

Me: Many things

Friend: who do you like

Me: Austen, Wilde

Me: uhhhhh others

Me: Not Dickens

Hey Snarkies,

Just so you know I will adding some comic book reviews into the mix. I probably won't do individual updates since I usually read paperback trades in one sitting. Just an end of the book roundup like I do for everything else I read.

I'm adding this because I read a decent amount of trades and I'd like to let you guys all know what I like. Don't worry - fiction will remain the primary focus of the blog!

One of you lovely people out there asked me to do a review of your book. I am still happy to, but I'm running into some issues. And I replied your ask so it disappeared from my inbox.