#snapping heart strings

hello, my love,

I can’t stop thinking about you. And how you tip your head when strangers smile at you. And how you grab for my hand on a crowded street. And how you hum when you do dishes. I can’t stop thinking about you and how much it hurts that I don’t know you.

Lately I’ve been feeling a little buried under the debris, feeling a little pixilated and blurred--not quite in focus. Because the truth is…if I could skip to the future where it’s just me and you and when I’m sad, I can tuck my head between your neck and shoulder; where I can mindlessly mess with your hair when we’re tangled on the couch reading; where kisses lead to fires and smiles are secret messages and every night is an adventure just because it’s a night with you…I would. I would skip this part of my life where I hurt so much for being passed by. For being too silly and too quirky and too me. For being too tall or too curvy or too nice. I just want the parts with you where you like me for everything I am and everything I’m not and where we joke about being utterly human together. Where you like that I am weird! And that I sing any chance I get. And that I laugh nearly as much as I breathe. And that we can talk about nothing and everything until there are small bursts of sunlight warming our faces through the kitchen window reminding us we should have been waking—but it’s too late for sleep now. I want to skip to the part where we make up recipes as we go along and laugh as we eat the concoction we’ve made, and shove each other playfully after silly, corny jokes, and where we blast music and get in terrible trouble with our neighbors for being so loud and wild and free. Where happiness is always waiting for us when we get home. Where time evaporates through the grates in the ceiling and your skin brushing mine always makes me melt and all the tiny little things that mean so little to other people are all the tiny little things I love about us.

Patience is a virtue I cannot seem to cup between my hands to save me…and the waiting is killing me, love. I want to be cuddled up next you right now, but I have no idea where you are. And when I look for you…there is simply no one out there and all I manage to do is spread the cracks on my heart a little further. I want all of you to want all of me. I want you to explode through my door right now and say I am so. sorry. baby, for taking so long, but I’m here now!!

But patience is a virtue I will look for instead. She eludes me but maybe she will take up time until suddenly…there you are.  In focus.

I am an escape artist.

The kind you don't even notice in the first place & then they're gone.

Like they never existed.

But if you listen closely for the creaking of my thoughts shifting through the wind

Or the snapping of my tender heart strings

Or the crackle of condensing space as I sink through the floor...

Then perhaps that was me standing next to you a moment ago.

Think of me in that second you blink around, looking for that blur you swore you saw--

the stain of a person still faintly imprinted in the quiet air, drifting and falling away.

#1) Seeking A Friend For the End of the World-- It stars Keira Knightley and Steve Carell. It is announced that the world is ending in three weeks. Steve's wife leaves him. They had no children and all of his friends are busy accomplishing all the things they want to do. He is left alone until he meets his neighbor, Keira, and they strike up an unlikely friendship. He promises to help her get hold of a plane and home to her family in England if she will help him find the one who got away a long time ago, but of course their journey leads them on a very different adventure.

So the world is ending. And I liked that they didn't stray from that or magically change the ending just to suit the audience's needs. I enjoyed the journey these two went on and how they came to peace with everything that had happened and was happening. It's basically an indie romance film with a slight twist. It was sweet and funny in parts and a little bit heartbreaking also. I didn't think I would like Steve and Keira together, but I ended up liking them a lot.

I give this movie 8.5 stars. It was good, it might not be everyone's cup of tea, and I think it was missing the tiniest of elements (that I can't quite put my finger on) that makes it stop short of 10 stars.

#2: Breaking Dawn Part II-- I wasn't really planning on admitting that I'd gone to see this, but the Twilight series was a journey I began with a few close friends before they were popular, so we decided to finish it out together like the romantic nostalgics we are. I do not like the casting of Bella or Edward in this movie. I think Kristen Stewart is a terrible actress (and thank goodness she got a little better as the movies went on). I also didn't really like Breaking Dawn the book, so I wasn't sure how this was going to go.

The plot is quite complicated, so I won't bother summarizing haha. I felt there was a lot of over acting that bothered me. And one liners that were trying too hard. The second half of the film was a better than the first half and I thought the ending was clever because they managed to please the audience by giving them a fight, but also stay true to the ending of the book. The music was awesome. I give it...5 stars. I can't get over the bad acting :(

#3: Ruby Sparks-- starring Paul Dano and Zoe Kazan. This is a little indie film about a writer who wrote his first brilliant book at 19 and has been stuck since then. He can't write anything, but he has deadlines from his publisher coming up. His therapists recommends he write something terrible to see if that gets him along. That night, he dreams about a woman and wakes up in the middle of the night to write about her. She is quirky and cute, fun and smart...basically she is perfect for him. He writes and writes and writes about her and can't stop thinking about her...until suddenly she appears in his kitchen one morning. He has to come to terms with the fact that Ruby is not only real, but she is taking on a course of action he wouldn't want...and while he could write her into his arms so they could be madly in love forever, he has to decide if he could live with himself afterwards.

I enjoyed this movie a lot! I thought the acting was great and the idea was lovely! I think that the writers of the film didn't make the idea too big to write about, so it was cool they were able to pull it off nicely. I think the ending was trying to please the audience, which is fine, but I would have been okay with something different as well. If you like quirky, interesting, indie, slightly romantic movies then this would definitely be worth watching!