#sn001

@sebastiansammichael​ @thenoahvalmont​

[Cameron]

Cameron brought Noah up to the familiar house where Sam was taking care of the kids. He would squeeze Noah’s hand to reassure him that everything was okay as he knocked on the door and waited for the other to answer it.

[Noah]

Noah reluctantly followed Cameron to Sam's house reminding himself every time he felt Cameron squeeze his hand to stay nice and in a good mood. Standing in front of the other's  house, Noah just focused on finally being able to see their son again.

[Sam]

Sam had been entertaining his kids all day while taking care of Liam.  He had just gotten the two settled with lunch and was feeding Liam when the knock came. Looking to the door he shouted for whoever it was to come in. Seeing Cam he sighed in relief. “Oh you have no idea how glad I am to see you. I have been on my feet all day. Between the two trouble makers running about and this one always hungry. I’d get you coffee but he was getting fussy to be fed.”

[Cameron]

The siren watches as Sam shouts for them to come in. He leads Noah inside to see Sam feeding Liam. “Ah he can get rather fussy about being fed but now that Noah is here hopefully you can take a break.” Cameron jokes before seeing Liam’s eyes light up as he sees Noah. His little hands making a grabby motion as he gurgles happily.  

[Noah]

Noah follows after Cameron into the house smiling widely when he finally sees Liam. Watching Liam reach out for him Noah was a little hesitant to go over to them, but got over it quickly and went over to take him from Sam and hold him. Turning to Sam, the siren gave the other a soft smile. "Thank you for watching him." He said sincerely feeling Liam grab at his hair.

[Sam]

Sam smiles and hands the little one over. “Careful, when he gets really hungry he bites a little. I’m going to have nipple bruises.” He chuckles and nods to the once again mother. “No problem. He was better than these two when they were young.  I’m always up for babysitting. You guys taking him home for good?”

[Cameron]

Cameron nods his head, “Yeah we are going to take him home now. I think that is up to Noah.” He replies while looking at the other and seeing Liam grab at Noah’s hair.

[Noah]

Noah couldn't bite his tongue as he heard Sam's comment. "I'm his mother, I think I know what he's like when he gets hungry." He almost snapped before turning his attention back to Liam as the boy started pulling his hair. "I mean you left him here already despite how I feel, so why are you saying it's up to me now whether Liam can stay here or not?"

[Sam]

Sam was taken off guard by Noah’s words.  He thought maybe the boy was having a bad day and having Liam looked after by another mother made him upset. “Sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it.” He said unsure of how to respond.

[Cameron]

“Well it would be nice to have some time to ourselves occasionally so yeah I think we can do that. But we have to be careful. The little ones might not know about the whole biting a siren thing.” He replies before hearing Noah’s words. The siren frowns before clearing his throat. “We are not talking about this now. Calm down and at least try to be civil will you?”

[Noah]

"I don't want to be here anymore but you can stay Cameron, I know you probably really want to anyway." Noah replied looking at Cameron. "Like you pointed out it's been a long day and Liam stinks so he needs a bath and a nap." Noah said not bothering to care about controlling his attitude. "Thanks though." He added looking at Sam.

[Sam]

Nodded trying to not be rude he just smiled and waved bye to Liam. No problem at all. He’s a saint.” Sam didn’t know how Cameron could handle attitude, but then again him and Dylan could be grumpy too.

[Cameron]

“Maybe some other time we can stay and visit, I think I need to put more than Liam down for a nap.” Cameron replies trying to make a joke out of it to hide how awkward he felt, before nodding his head and thanking Sam. “Thank you for watching him and good luck with getting the younger one’s to sleep too.” He waves before turning around and leading Noah and Liam back to the cave.

[Noah]

Noah just hummed in response to other's words, shifting Liam in his arms before making his way out of the home with Cameron.

[Cameron]

Cameron wonders what had gotten into Noah while they were there but he was rather embarrassed. “What the fuck was that Noah? There was no need to be rude to him and you know it. Liam is perfectly fine and safe. He wasn’t a threat!”

[Noah]

"Lower your voice and do not cuss in front of our son." Noah lowly hissed as he moved Liam to his other side letting the baby rest on his shoulder. "You knew I didn't like Sam, you knew I didn't trust him, and yet you chose to take Liam there. You just stood there while he had the nerve to tell me how my son acts, like I didn't already know. What if that was Zero huh? Or better yet Eliza and Mark? I bet Sam's husband would never had let me do that to him. So contrary to how you feel, I had every right to be rude and you are so lucky that's all I said." Noah said moving past Cameron and heading home.

[Cameron]

“Yeah I left him with a werewolf because it’s sad to say that apparently leaving him with a werewolf is much safer than leaving him with a bunch of mermaids who have a grudge against us. You are completely right I wasn’t thinking about his safety because you know that mermaids would never go to werewolf territory which would ensure our son’s safety. There is a huge difference because for one I never slept with Sam  when you slept with both Mark and Eliza. Don’t say there isn’t a difference because there is. You have had feelings for both of them before and I have not had any towards Sam so you need to stop trying to use that as an excuse because you already know that you are the only one that I would want like that.”

[Noah]

"It's always different when it comes to you. You can never own up to what you did and you always use my past to make a justification for something that upsets me. It's like you'll replay the same excuse and say the same sweet words and just expect me to believe it and forgive you. You don't even understand why I'm mad Cameron or why this situation makes me so angry and it's like you don't even care." Noah replied walking into the cave and going to Liam's bedroom.

“What and you’re not? You keep using him when you know there is nothing between him and I! Then please explain to me why you are so angry at the fact that you are the one that left and I did what I thought was best!  I told you I am not the best at figuring out things and yet you left me to get yourself killed and had you actually been killed I probably would have been worse than how you found me.” Cameron retorts. “Why is it that you get the right to be mad all the time yet when I bring stuff off you just brush it off as if it were nothing.” He replies while looking at the other.

[Noah]

Noah was able to get Liam to fall asleep and when he heard Cameron raising his voice again he quickly put Liam in his crib before shutting the door and glaring at Cameron. "Did you venomize me to be apart of your sick game Cameron? When you met me was I just another level e for you to venomize and kill when you got done or bored? Was it by accident that you fell in love with me?" Noah asked in all seriousness as he looked at the other.

[Cameron]

“What the heck are you talking about? No, it wasn’t part of some sick game. I fell in love with you at first sight Noah. I left all that behind because of you. You are the reason why I wanted to change what I had become and start over with the life that I should have had. A life with a loving husband and family, that was all I ever wanted when I was younger but that was before my brother turned me into a monster. I don’t believe that you could fall in love with someone on accident. I firmly believe that there was a reason that I met you and I don’t want to dare think about what my life would have been had I not met you.” Cameron admits honestly as he looks at Noah.

[Noah]

"How am I supposed to believe that I changed you and I'm so special when right after you freed me you went to some werewolf? You were fucking hungry Cameron? Really? I was right there! You know I would have never said no to you! I would have done whatever you wanted because I loved you!" He yelled before running a hand through his hair trying to calm himself down as he remembered Liam was sleeping. "I left for what two fucking hours and you took him to the one person I hate, the one person I can't stand. If I left Liam with Eliza you would be so livid, you wouldn't even be talking to me. Hell you would have been better handing him over to the royal guard, at least I have slight respect for them." He said pushing past Cameron and going to their room.

[Cameron]

“Actually if you want to be specific I went to find you but you were hanging out with Mark and the rest of your little posy and I didn’t want to intrude given that they already didn’t like me as it was.” Cameron shakes his head, “It wasn’t two hours to me. You left in the middle of the night and I woke up to an empty bed. I woke up in the morning thinking you left me and our son. I didn’t even do anything with the damn wolf I dropped Liam there because he is safer with a wolf that can attack and kill any siren that tries to go near our baby. No one would touch Liam if he is in enemy territory and I think you know that deep down.”

Seeing the other walk away from him, Cameron went over and took Noah’s arm. “This is exactly the reason why I didn’t want you to go anywhere in the first place because apparently no matter what I do I am wrong. You went to get yourself killed Noah. You didn’t even bother to fight for staying as a family and trying to appeal to the better nature of the other sirens what does that tell you? Even you think that they can’t be moved with sympathy or make exceptions to anything which is why you just gave up and accepted death. You accepted to leave us behind because of a stupid rule that shouldn’t have applied to you. Had you maybe fought for the right to live your friend wouldn’t have had to die for you. No one would have had to die because you would have fought for what you thought was right instead of just giving up. I didn’t give up Noah, I tried to find you and I tried to do what is best. You can’t blame me for trying.”

He lets go of Noah’s arm, “And just for the record, I never loved Sam as I love you. If you didn’t love Eliza before and you left Liam with her, I would have understood, but given the fact that you loved her in the past it would make it difficult for me to accept that. If you left him with Tootles or Finn that would have been fine or even Misty if you wanted to but you honestly have nothing to worry about when it comes to the dog, Noah. I just wish you would understand and see that.”

[Noah]

Noah felt his arm being pulled by Cameron causing him to stop and listen to the other. "Don't use seeing me with Mark as an excuse. I would have dropped whatever I was doing to go with you and you know that. I ended my friendships for you so don't use them as an excuse as to why you chose to go with Sam. At the end of the day you venomized him, you did something you promised me you would never do again. You stand there and you tell me that all you'll ever want is me and that I changed you, that I was different. Whether we like it or not our relationship is based on you venomoizing me and I don't want to be on the same level as someone like that." "I didn't give up Cameron. I had to do that. If I didn't they would have kept coming for me, I'm an e. That's all they'll ever see whether it's true or not. You think I wanted to leave you? To leave Liam? No I wanted to be here, I didn't want to die. Are you saying because I didn't fight to a little ounce of sympathy I know they don't have Grace is dead? Well I'm sorry Cameron. I'm so sorry I left you. I'm sorry you had to wake up without me, but what I'm most sorry for is all of things my daughter won't get to do. You don't think I'm thinking of every other thing I could have done so she'd still be here?" Feeling Cameron let his arm go he looked at the ground. "Maybe we were wrong earlier...this won't ever work. Not with the way we are now. There are so many issues and I can't handle them all at once. You stood there as he told me what Liam was like, you were embarrassed by me, and you weren't on my side. I don't care if you thought what I was doing was awful, for once I would like you to just respect my decisions." Noah said before heading back to the room. "I'm sleeping at the level e camp tonight. We need space." He added closing himself in the bedroom away from Cameron.

[Cameron]

Cameron heard the other’s words about needing space and his mind spun at what had happened last time that he gave Noah space. “No. Last time I gave you space you went and slept around. Last time I gave you space you got drunk and almost killed our baby. I am not leaving you alone. Not now, not ever. I don’t care how much you want to push me away I am not leaving you, not at a time like this. You said that you wanted me to be with you during our time apart and this is me proving to you that no matter how much you push me away I will always be there for you. I wasn’t embarrassed by you either. Given I wasn’t very fond of your temper but I understand why you acted the way you did.”

[Noah]

Noah was glad there a door between them so he couldn't look into Cameron's eyes and feel like everything was going to be okay. Because it wasn't. Grabbing a small bag he started putting some of his clothes in it. "All I want to do is sleep at my old tent Cameron. I don't want to be around anyone, you don't have to worry about me getting drunk or killing our-" Noah stopped as he processed the other's words. Opening the door he didn't care if Cameron could see he was packing as he asked, "Is that why you didn't say anything? Are you mad at me? For not wanting to keep Liam? Is that why you chose to stand there while Sam told me about our son because you think I deserve it?"

[Cameron]

“That is not why I gave Liam to Sam and I already told you that I left him with Sam as a safety precaution. I am very mad at you for not telling me anything and making the decision to try to kill our son without even having the decency to inform me that we were to have a son!  You wanted to end our family before I even was able to know that we were to have one and you knew how much that would mean to me. You know how much my family meant to me and how much you mean to me and you chose to not just keep it secret but to try to kill it as well. How can I not be upset about something like that! That is like me not telling you that I was going to have a kid on top of the fact that I thought I was sleeping with both of my ex’s and said that I still loved them. The only person you keep trying to use as an excuse is Sam and you can’t even use him as one because I never loved him. I never saw him as anything more than food. So you are right, I will never look at him the same way that I look at you because I don’t see you as just food Noah. I see you as my love and my life and that is why I can’t let you leave. I can’t let you leave because I don’t want to have to feel as if I won’t ever see you again.”  

[Noah]

"No amount of apologies can ever make up for what I did. What I was going to do. Everyday I look at Liam I am so grateful that I have him and I hate myself for almost getting rid of the most important gift you could ever give me. You can spend your whole life hating me for that and I will understand that. I deserve that." Noah replied before shaking his head. "I just want to sleep somewhere else tonight. I'm already packed just let me go.."

[Cameron]

“I might be mad but I could never hate you, in the end, we have Liam which is all that matters but we need to both be here for him.” Cameron replies before shaking his head and hugging Noah. “No, I can’t let you leave because if I do, it would be almost as if I am dreaming this whole time. Last time you left, I thought you would never return. I can’t deal with that feeling. I don’t want to have to feel the pain of what it was like when you left me that night. It would hurt too much.” He buries his head against the crook of the other’s neck. “Please just stay…”

[Noah]

Noah stayed silent for a second as Cameron hugged him. He hated saying no to Cameron, especially when the other siren was in this state. He knew Cameron needed him to say he'd stay, but he was so angry and hurt. Pushing away from Cameron gently Noah nodded. "I won't leave but I'm sleeping on the couch. Today was just a lot Cam and I feel..." He stopped taking a deep breath before continuing, "I feel really alone right now and I know you're here and that you did nothing with Sam, but in my heart it doesn't feel like that. I don't feel understood and I can't...I can't make up what I almost did to Liam to you. And maybe this is some sick punishment for me...I stupidly and selfishly wanted to kill one of my children and the consequence of that is me losing my other child."

Cameron wanted him to share his feelings so he was going to try, but trying to voice them only continued to hurt him. "I just think we could use some breathing room, we're both really upset and I can't keep fighting with you. I can't be around you when the love we have for each other isn't there. It used to be so much stronger than this and it hurts way too much to think that this might be the beginning of the end for us."

[Cameron]

Cameron shakes his head, “You can take the bed. I will sleep on the couch. Liam always preferred you to comfort him if he awoke in the middle of the night.” He replies. “Then I won't go the the boy on the land ever again if it makes you feel better.”

Hearing Noah talk about how they needed space because love wasn't there confused him. “What do you mean love isn't there? I still love you even through everything that has happened to us. We can't just give up. That's what everyone else wanted remember? They wanted us to give up but then we proved them wrong. We proved to them that love always manages to conquer all right?” He swallows nervously, anxious at what Noah might respond.

[Noah]

Noah sighed hearing the boy's words. "Cam sleep on the bed please. I don't want to take away your friend and I don't want you to stop hanging out with him because you think it'll make me happy. I want you to understand why it hurts me and decide what to do on your own." "Cameron I love you, more than humanly possible, but I'm not in love with you right now. Being in love is what it was like when we first got together, when everything was a rush and we couldn't stand to be apart. When you say my name and my heart would skip a beat because I couldn't believe I had you. Being in love is what scares you and hurts you, because this one person has your heart and you'll never know what they'll do with it. Loving someone is when you care about them but you put yourself first, it's a fleeting emotion. We've been through so much and despite what we keep telling ourselves our love can't withstand everything. We say it but words are just words, it's hard to believe when the actions don't match. The way you look at me is different, the way you say my name is different. We're sad and that's okay, but we've been through so much that our love is breaking. It's like when I was with Eliza, I knew before I broke up with her that whatever I felt for her was gone but I thought I could save us, she kept telling me she would try harder and change, and that she loved me and wanted me. But if I had left her earlier then things would probably ended differently." He explained backing away from Cameron. "I don't want to put you in a loveless relationship. I don't want to keep you with me if I don't have faith, and I know you keep telling me to trust you but I can't. I'm scared. I don't want to be broken anymore so if you leave now I can handle all this pain now. I wish I could say I'm in love with you...I wish I could say that but I would be lying."

[Cameron]

Hearing Noah’s words, Cameron could have sworn that his heart stopped beating for a few seconds. The pain that happened for those few seconds literally took the air out of his lungs. It took him a few moments to be able to form words. “So...what you are saying... is that you are no longer in love with me?”

As he heard Noah mention Eliza and parallel their current situation to it. Cameron was under the impression that Noah was going to break up with him because he didn’t feel in love with him anymore like he did with Eliza. The fact that Noah said Eliza was the one that mentioned she would do anything to keep Noah around, only reminded him of himself. He wanted out because Cameron was too much like Eliza.

“You told me before that you didn’t want me to leave you because you were scared and now you are trying to push me away. I d-don’t understand….you are saying that if I leave...you won’t be broken? You won’t be hurt that I am gone? You won’t feel the need to be around me as I do with you? Is this your way of trying to end things with me? By pushing me away and comparing me to Eliza? You really think that I am that much like her?”

[Noah]

Noah shook his head, his heart breaking as he could feel the pain he had just put Cameron through. "I'm sorry I didn't want to tell you. I just can't lie to you when it comes to that. We don't talk anymore, we don't touch each other like we used to, and we can't make love because their isn't any." He said looking at the ground before looking back up at Cameron as he heard the other's next words. "You're nothing like Eliza. I just said that I let her keep leading me on and keeping hope alive when I should have listened to my heart and left. I'm saying that if you leave now I can handle the intense pain that will bring me now. I'll never get over you but I rather be broken more now then be broken again later. Every time I look at Liam I will see you in him, you don't think it'll hurt everyday? But I know if you leave me the initially pain will destroy me. I'm asking you to destroy me now if you want to leave me."

[Cameron]

“You know that I don’t want to leave you. I wouldn’t ever be able to, not after what happened with my brother. You are the only one that I felt understood me and didn’t judge me based on my bloodline. Even if you don’t feel it, I know that it is there deep down, you just need to open yourself up and allow it back into your life. I know that we aren’t married but the vows still have meaning to me. For better or for worse. I meant it when I said that I will be here for you. I don’t want you to be hurting but I don’t know how to help. In order for you to start the healing process you need to let go of the pain that is holding you back. You need to accept what happened and as hard as it is you need to move on.  What is your heart telling you now? Is it saying to fight or give up?” Cameron asks as he tries to hide his anxiety by putting his hands into his pockets to keep them from shaking.

[Noah]

Noah listened to the other's words and tears started to form in his eyes as Cameron told him he needed to accept what happened. He didn't think he could do it and he had shut off his heart hoping he could save himself from having reality hit him. "My heart is telling me to fight and mourn. To forgive myself, to try and love, not just you, but myself again." He stated creating an even bigger distance between the two of them as he shook his head. "But what if my heart is wrong Cameron? It has been before. My brain is telling me to leave and protect myself, to ignore my feelings because I can't handle them. Which one am I supposed to listen to?"

[Cameron]

“You just mentioned that you needed to listen to your heart before so why don't you listen to it now. You don't have to do it alone.  You also told me that you should never ignore your feelings like I was so used to doing. I would let it build up and it would just stress me out even more. By learning to let go and accept the past it made me happier when I was with you.” Cameron replies not wanting to step closer since the other took a step back.

[Noah]

"I don't want to accept it." Noah cried feeling the situation become all too real. "I don't want her gone Cameron...I have no idea how to fix this. I have no idea how I'll be okay after this. I don't want to leave you, I really really don't, but I don't think you deserve this. A relationship like this." He said, his breath becoming more rapid as he tried to calm himself down.

[Cameron]

Cameron goes over and hugs the other realizing that Noah was having what looked like an attack which Cameron was all too familiar with. He starts to rub small circles on the other’s back soothingly. “I’m still here with you because I want to be Noah, that should say something to you. I am here for you no matter what because we might hit some struggles in the road but even if we do I will always love you and especially at a time like this you need to know that there are people around that love and support you to help you through this.” The male replies, “Let me take some of your pain away, please.”

[Noah]

Noah calmed down as soon as Cameron came near him and started rubbing his back. Breathing easier he shook his head. "No...I need to feel this pain. I have to feel this. I have to accept this or I'll always be like, scared of emotions and scared of you and what you make me feel." He said wiping away the few tears that had escaped. "I don't know what I want to do. I need your help Cam.."

[Cameron]

“I can take away just a bit so that you can collect your thoughts.” He replies while wiping the tears from the other’s eyes. “I will help you don’t worry. I will help you through this.” Cameron replies while hugging the other and kissing Noah’s neck affectionately before nuzzling against it.

[Noah]

Noah thought about the other's words before feeling the kiss on neck. "Cam can you venomize me?" He asked not joking as he looked at Cameron.

[Cameron]

Cameron thought he was hearing things when Noah asked that of him. “W-What? I thought you didn’t want me to use my power on you? I promised you that I wouldn’t use it.” He replies while shaking his head unsure as to why Noah would suggest such a thing.

[Noah]

"I know but I need you to tell me to try. Don't tell me to love you and don't tell me to get over it but to try. If you don't I don't know what will happen. It might take me forever to get back to how I used to be."

[Cameron]

“Okay then try. I know you can get through this because you are a strong siren just like our baby boy okay? So you trying is enough to make me happy.” Cameron replies while rubbing the other’s back in a soothing manner.

[Noah]

Noah shook his head. "Saying it and doing it are two different things. I know me...you know me. We'll keep having these conversations, I'll keep pushing you away until one day you do actually leave. I won't give love a chance and I won't fall back in love with you. Please venomize me Cam."

[Cameron]

“Are you positive that is what you want me to do?” He asks again wanting to make sure that Noah wasn’t just testing him.  “What would happen when the venom wears off then?” Cameron asks in confusion.

[Noah]

"I don't know....I don't know." Noah said shaking his head. Running a hand through his hair he didn't know what to say anymore, he felt confused, and he just wanted the pain to stop. He wanted to go back to how they used to be, to when Grace was alive, when they were Coah, and when their biggest problem was Zero. He didn't know what he was going to do and he was scared to depend on Cameron.

[Cameron]

“We can cross that road when we get there then.” He replies while looking at the other and letting his teeth graze over Noah’s neck. Cameron’s eyes flash as he eats away some of the pain wanting Noah to be in a somewhat sound state of mind if he wanted Cameron to go through with the venomization.

[Noah]

Noah nodded in agreement of the other's words as he felt the other's teeth against his skin. He felt a small part of himself return after Cameron took the memories that were implanted into his mind. "Thank you." Noah said looking at Cameron.

[Cameron]

Cameron nods his head before kissing the other briefly. “What would you like me to do? Did you want me to carry through with venomizing you?” He asks.

[Noah]

Noah heard the other's question bit his bottom lip thinking about it before coming up with his answer. "I..." He stopped wanting to make sure he was about to make the right decision. "No, I don't. I'm sorry I put you in a position like that. The pain was just too much and it was clouding my judgement. I have to learn to accept what happened and move on, and I have to be open to having some faith again." He said before looking at Cameron. "I want to fall back in love with you, but all this might take some time. Are you sure you want to stay around and wait?"

[Cameron]

Cameron smiles at the other’s words. “I think you know by now that I wouldn’t leave you.  I know it might take time but I am willing to take that chance so that we could be a family hopefully in the future. I believe that we will make it through this...we will find a way...we always do.” The male replies as he steps closer and gives Noah a kiss. A kiss that would help reassure him that everything was going to be okay as well as him pouring himself into the kiss to show Noah how much he cared for and believed in the other.

[Noah]

"We always do." He repeated smiling softly as he nodded his head before feeling the other's lips on his. The kiss left him breathless as he could feel Cameron pouring all of himself into it, giving him the reassurance he needed to keep fighting. "Wow” was all he could say as he pulled away slightly trying to catch his breath.

[Cameron]

The siren smiles before pulling the other closer. “We had a long day today how about we get some sleep baby.” He replies while looking at the other as he rubs his eyes after letting out a small yawn as he rubbed his eyes.

[Noah]

Noah nodded seeing Cameron yawning. "That's a good idea." He replied. "I could use some sleep." He smiled softly.

[Cameron]