#smilesguaranteed

\o/

Writer ask meme questions

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

I don’t really have favorites generally, so I just went back through margin notes on old fics. Here are a couple of paragraphs from a scene between Bucky and James in I, The Paradox: 

“I…” Bucky floundered. Nothing he could say would stop the inevitable. “Maybe we could…”

“Don’t. Jesus, Bucky, don’t. We went through this song and dance. Nothing good’s gonna come from trying to change things now,” James’s voice was an insistent whisper Bucky couldn’t have ignored if he wanted to. Bucky had started to pull his hand away, but James caught his wrist, keeping him close. “I got to be me for a little while, but I was always supposed to be you, you idiot.”

“If that was true, this couldn’t have happened,” Bucky insisted. They were only just figuring this out, and in a universe that had spent an awful lot of time and energy shitting on the occupants of that bed, this probably took the cake. 

“I. Was. An. Accident. You and I both know that. When you make a mess, you clean it up, and this is part of that.” It was a strange, heartbreaking thing to be talking about the end when he could still feel the heat of James’ skin.

It’s not really that I think it’s particularly clever or well written. It’s just that I’m always especially happy when I’m trying to convey something complex and it feels like it lands as intended. There is a somewhat common theme in fandom that Bucky is in some way broken for being what he is. I like that theme. I have been known to indulge in it. Putting him face to face with another version of himself with different life experiences was sort of a unique opportunity to look at that from a different angle though, and entertain the notion that coming out the other side of what he did and being different from how he was before the war isn’t broken at all. 

14. What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across?

This is kind of hard because worst for me is not necessarily bad advice for someone else. Mostly, I think the worst advice is this very specific genre where it’s labeled as “rules”. No matter how generally correct a piece of advice is, there will always be a situation where it’s not. The beauty of there being many writers out there is a diversity of voice, but that means not all advice gets equal mileage with everyone. 

28. Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

I hope you appreciate how difficult this is because I like so many, many writers and I want to celebrate all of them. Seriously, if you ever want recs, I have them coming out my ears. I went and looked through my AO3 history though. Here are the first three where I clearly liked one thing and then went and read a bunch more of their fics. 

@jinlinli

Jin has such an elegant, provocative way with words. It lends itself incredibly well to the stories she tells. There’s a complexity of character and motive that I just can’t get enough of. 

I like everything I’ve ever read of hers, but if I had to pick one to rec, it would be how cold steel is (and keen with hunger), especially if you like character study. It’s haunting and so, so well done. 

@yetanotherobsessivereader

Okay, first of all, everything she writes is delightful and really well rounded. Her dialogue and character dynamics are fun and feel very true to character. 

Before I make this rec, full disclosure. She has tons of works that are sweet and funny and fluffy. Go read them. Seriously. This one just happens to make my angst loving little heart happy. I’ve probably read there is a tavern in the town (and there my dear love sits him down) at least five times. 

@leveragehunters

So, before I got into Cap fandom, I’d always stuck to canon/canon divergent fics in the corners  of AO3 I hung out in. Not out of any particular bias against AUs. I just didn’t really understand the appeal.

Then, someone recced me this one really fantastic fic by this author and I was hooked. Leveragehunters writes a lot of my favorite forays into the supernatural. 

I think if I were going to rec one fic, it would be True North. It turns out I have a major weakness for the soulmate trope, but what I like about this is that it sort of flies in the face of what I tend to think of in terms of plot. It strikes a really lovely balance between fate and agency and is just all around great. 

40. Write an alternative ending to [insert fic title] (or just the summary of one).

I’m going to sidestep I, The Paradox because it would spoil the next piece of the story. Instead, here is how We Never Had a Choice was originally outlined to go. Under a cut because I’ve rambled on so long already. 

Originally, very little of the relationship development you see in the fic was intended to happen. Bucky going after Steve to save him was meant to really be the first hint that he’d moved past how their paths crossed in the first place. They were going to part ways, and Bucky would go home only to realize there was no place where he fit now, and the story was going to end with him tracking Steve down to where he was volunteering with some much more legitimate activist group out actually helping people. 

That, however, requires so much context to make sense. Instead, I’m going to give you the ending I wrote before the current one. All you need to know is that nothing after the police station happened in this version. They got in the car and got back on the road, eager to put as much space between them and what happened as they could. 

“What do you want to do?” Steve asked around the lump in his throat. He had no right to hope for anything, but the fragile feeling stretched its wings anyway. 

“You know? No one has ever asked me that.” From the corner of Steve’s eye, he could see Bucky fidget, his hands clasped in his lap. “It was always whatever was best for the family. I was just an accessory.” 

“Was, being the operative word there, I think.” Steve’s stomach felt like rot, but he made himself offer up the very last thing he wanted. Bucky deserved at least that. “I can take you home if you want.”

“It’s not home. It’s just a big, fancy house with some people in it I’m not sure I know anymore.” Bucky turned his head away to look out the window into the night, or maybe to hide his expression. “I’d rather just forget the whole thing ever happened.”

There was no doing that, of course. Steve ignored the traitorous voice at the back of his mind reminding him that he was part of what had happened. “All of it?”

Bucky didn’t answer for so long that Steve could only assume the worst. He kept driving, even though his heart was in a vice grip. If Bucky wanted to go somewhere, Steve would get him there, and if Bucky wanted him to leave… he would go. 

“Well, not all of it. Just everything after the elevator.” Bucky was looking at Steve again, the impish twist of his lips defying their circumstances. “In fact, I think I know what I want.”

Steve wasn’t sure how Bucky could joke about that given the awful thing he’d done. Come to think of it, maybe that was exactly why. If they could joke about it now, it was less of a smudge on who they became. It wasn’t a trick and Steve knew that, but he couldn’t help the nervous thumping of his heart as he asked. “What’s that?”

Oooh gosh, thank you so much @smilesguaranteed !

Short answer is yes, I would love to get back into the WS!Bucky head I explored in Hooked Into Machine and Vague Fancies & Carnal Appetites. Or, rather, the Bucky that I envision appearing after he’s back with Steve but still figuring things out, plums or no plums. Goats or no goats.

However, I don’t have any immediate plans to do so, as I have a fairly full plate over the next couple months in terms of bangs and pre-planned stuff. Upcoming is:

Continuing Family Placement

Posting the next PI one-shot

Posting The Voyager for RBB from May 20-June 10

Finishing Where the Summer Goes

Writing my RBB fic in time for claims

Fulfilling the stories promised to people who won my 200 follower contest (I haven’t forgotten about y'all!)

Finishing/posting the Sekrit Project fic

Writing the Proprietary Information mini-sequel

Writing the World War Threesome thing that is eating my brain

So, like, YES there is space for WS!Bucky in my head and I fucking love playing with his voice. I may end up noodling something when I’m bored and/or can’t get into the proper headspace for anything else, so who knows! Kink Bingo is probably going to kick off again at some point, which might inspire me to one-shots!

Aw, thanks! I wanted to do something nice and cozy for Buck instead of putting him through the wringer again.

Aw, friend, I’m so glad you’re reading TNW and I hope you’re enjoying it!

As to your question -- the story is published in the order in which I intended folks to read it (as well as chronologically), so feel free to continue on with TNW. There is a lot that has evolved over time when it comes to my plans for The Work of Carnage, most especially because how how TNW ended up turning out. 😊 So in many ways, TNW will give context to The Work of Carnage (when it’s finally written and completed...!), and not as much the other way around. If that makes sense?

The reason I wrote TNW first is because I felt that I needed to have that rich and layered foundation to Bucky’s past and history before I could write about him recovering his past and history. I wanted readers to care, for example, about his younger brother Jack and his other brother Ted, about his sister, about his mom, about his Able Company friends who never made it home... and of course, the ones who did. It felt important to me that if I was going to claim that people used Bucky’s words on Vietnam War protest signs, that a) I knew what those words were and b) I knew their context. I also thought writing TNW would be a great way to really get inside Bucky’s head, even if that head changes pretty dramatically over the years. 

Thanks @smilesguaranteed ! This one is from my RBB fic, titled The Voyager. 

A little insight into what the rewrite entailed, now that the (HEART-WRENCHING, NAIL BITING) chapter dropped?

Oh, boy. Well, I had about 2,500 words written (chapter ended up being around 5,300) and I was seriously stalling out -- I knew where I was going with it, of course -- that last scene has been planned since my initial outline of the fic, it’s literally the second line of my first page of handwritten notes -- but the narrative exposition of the...

[spoilers under cut]

Hey @smilesguaranteed! <3 Great ask! And I’m so glad you stuck with TNW even though it’s... uh, very different from maskfic. :* Excited for you to read the rest! Hope you enjoy it.

That said, TNW and maskfic are not set in the same universe, but I am cribbing shamelessly from TNW-verse in order to build out the bones of the story a little more. So I guess you could consider maskfic an alternate universe sequel toTNW if you’d like, since I’m not going to directly contradict anything that happens in that fic and in fact, may reference a few things just for kicks. For example:

It wasn’t the most viscerally exciting break-in which Steve had ever participated in his life. No, that honor still belonged to The Ritz in Paris, March of ’44. This place couldn’t be more different. It was empty for one, just as the scans had showed. Steve was almost disappointed.

That is a direct reference to the March 1944 chapter of TNW. :) I couldn’t help myself.

There are also a few things about the drugs they have Bucky on in maskfic as well as some other little bits and bobs that I won’t say anything about for ~plot reasons that came directly from some future fic in the TNW-verse. At this point, I’m not sure if I’m gonna use any of that in TNW or just cut it completely so I don’t retread the same ground... we’ll see. <3

Hi friend! Damn, everybody is asking for 5 and 8! LOL! 

5. Which WIP is first on your list to complete this year? Will you post a snippet?

Answered here but I’ll give ya another snippet of a different fic, just for fun. I’m cheating because I’m not completely sure where it’s going - whether it’s a one-shot or part of The Work of Carnage or something else altogether. 

Abruptly, Ted realized that his face was wet with tears. He made an aborted motion with his hand, as if to hide them, but he stopped. He searched the faces of his two babies, the oldest one missing and gone forever, as they watched him, so pale and earnest and worried.

“Say it again,” he gasped. “He’s–Bucky’s alive.” His heart thudded in his chest, a struggling old motor in a rattling, tired engine block. “Bucky’s alive?”

“Daddy, take it easy, okay?” said Barbara, sweet Barbara, so concerned. “Just take it easy.”

“First Steve, now Bucky,” Ted choked out. It was almost laughter. “Who’s gonna come trotting back next? JFK? Abe Lincoln?”

8. Is there a story idea in your mental vault that you’ve never been brave enough to try writing? Is 2018 the year?

Answered twice! Here and here! <3 

9. Short term goals… what do you hope to complete this week or in January?