#slugvans

Want your opinion on those ones:

- Gilderoy Lockhart/Voldemort (narcissists, unite!)

- Severus Snape/Augusta Longbottom (Neville is hysterical)

- Lily Evans/Horace Slughorn (he talks of her SUSPICIOUSLY well)

- Sirius Black/Fenrir Greyback (if the fandom wants Sirius to bang a daddy werewolf – fine, but at least pick an actual daddy werewolf)

And our newest addition – ✨️kreagulus✨️

Regulus definitely was unhealthily obsessed with Kreacher. I mean, why else would he betray Voldemort, am I right? He just wanted to fuck him😔 #elfcelregulus

I shit you not I almost CRIED laughing as I read those. These are AMAZING!

✨Lockmort is a banger. They'd meet because Gilderoy would keep on stealing competent wizard's work, including undercover DE and leaving them with memory brain damage. Voldemort is pissed and demands to have the responsible captured. Once they finally meet (read: someone yeet Gilderoy in the room and he's on the ground at Voldy's feet), Gilderoy is absolutely shaking in fear like a newborn bird but then Voldemort (who's pretty disappointed already) gives him a compliment about his charm skills and cleverness in avoiding detection and Gilderoy gets on his feet and puff his chest in pride and they start talking. And to Voldemort's horror, the man is a HUGE moron but he's also strangely clever in his own way? (he's ravenclaw after all) Greet schemer, very good liar, very ambitious, totally narcissistic but if Voldy gives him attention and fame, then the guy might give him GREAT IDEAS to pull wool over important people's eyes and get a fuck-ton of money. Like, he's an expert con-artist! And also, he's a total whimpering sub in bed, especially when you make him look at himself in a mirror. 8.5/10, Voldy would use snakes as bondage ropes on him. 🐍

🐦‍⬛Snaugusta (I'm wheezing), I can see them bonding over Augusta coming to school one day and - as an involved guardian figure - ask to talk with the Potion Professor with whom her grandson is having so much trouble with. She's pretty pissed at first but find Severus's sternness very refreshing and totally agrees with him and his methods. They have similar old-school views about school and what is to be expected from a proper wizard. Also she finds him very attractive. Had she been 30 years younger she'd have asked him out. She won't tho, she's too well-educated to meddle with her grandson's professor. Also Severus would have said no for approximately 12 diff reasons. 6/10. IF she was to hit on him in a post-war AU and he's a bit drunk, I can see it happening. Why the fuck not, he's not even supposed to be alive and life makes no sense. It wouldn't last tho, she's way too bossy in bed.

🍷Slugvans, I mean you're right, he's clearly talking about her a bit too much and too fondly. But how could he approach her with James AND Severus ready to pounce on him if he made an inappropriate move? No, he'd have to meet her outside of school, after her graduation. He'd take her out on a lunch date on Diagon Alley and be totally prepared to be her daddy. I see him as an old gentleman, he's not lusting after her per say (he'd even blush so hard if she was to take his hand, oh my!). If we go with the idea that Lily was interested in James because of his status and the protection it would give her, then Slughorn is also a safe bet! And he's got tons of connections! She could be his dear trophy wife/sugar baby and not have to worry about getting pregnant because if they did the do, he'd be super cautious about it. Lily lives, no Harry, no prophecy, Sirius kisses James while they're drunk one night and everybody is happy. Though they wouldn't last a lifetime as she's way too fiery for his old bones and she'd get bored and leave him a few years along the line. No bad blood though. A solid 7/10.

🐺GreyBlack, yes, THIS is the werewolf daddy fanon!Sirius deserves. The problem is, Sirius is bigoted towards werewolves so if he doesn't want Remus, he won't want Fenrir. BUT he would find his 'fuck society' stance really sexy. Fenrir would so be his leather daddy after school. Sirius would act as if he's not interested then finally cave in when the man would shove him against a wall and rip his clothes apart. But also... would Sirius run the risk of getting transformed? I don't believe Fenrir doesn't use teeth when he fucks. So yeah, werewolf!Sirius entering the ring for sure! But he'd loose Remus friendship for good and I don't think Fenrir would appreciate his rebel posh ass for long before tossing him out of the pack so 4/10, not compatible enough imo.

Your father being a potioneer doesn't make you good at potions. We know James was quite good at magic (see: he helped create the map) but had he been so good as to be Severus's equal we'd have heard about it. I think he was good but average.