#slowly forgetting

Sometimes I wonder if it was really worth the time and effort towards her back then. I mean yeah yeah, she was fucked up in the head, scumbag smoking pot on the daily basis, slit her wrists and shit like that. Saying she loves me, saying she wants to have a kid with me, saying we were going to get marry. Fucked like animals, making me look for a perfect ring, making me plan future trips, making me hope for the best of us. Calling us nicknames and giggle at each other. Leaving me diagnosed with multi-personality disorder and anger management. Having the nerve to call my best friends and asking for forgiveness after the recent breakup. Playing the innocent and hoping she wouldn't break me. But at the end karma is a bitch. She'll probably go through another shit with her new fucktoys. They'll realize the little cunt she is on the lowkey. Bring out her flippy side. See how trashy she gets and so on and so on. I just hate how she tried to play it off cool as if it wasn't a big deal. Maybe if she had the gut to confront me and explain everything then possibly I'll be less stress about life. But she just walked away like "fuck you, I can't ". Friends I wanted to be but with certain people telling me shit to aggravate me and putting the "that's what she told me", i just don't know what to believe anymore. We promised to play it off cool but, what the fuck, why start and say shit. I guess the only thing keeping my chin up is her failing at life. Wrong yes, but she asked for it.

give me back that feeling I used to feel for you.