#slobscribbles

The photo is in the front page of every newspaper the next morning, the public has never seen the Russian Terror look so soft, so human, they’re eating it up with a spoon, it results in a wave of positive PR that kind of embarrasses him but he’s ultimately thankful for

The photo is the centerpiece of a limited exhibition honoring the team’s firecracker of a season staged on the route of their victory parade. The photographer is invited to the opening as a last minute thing, fuck it fly the guy down here Roz can thank him in person for the extra sponsorship $$$ this pic is earning him

Sully doesn’t really keep in contact with them but does send them both supportive messages post-FanMail incident. He very low-key resented them for a while when they were all kids, but he’s a decent guy and this situation is shit.

THEN post-husbands someone makes an “And Steve” video of the three of them that breaks containment and is everywhere for like several full meme cycles, so much so that Ilya decides that it would be hilarious to go out to lunch the next time the three of them are in the same place, post about it, and start it all again. And the lunch is actually really fun, they all actually vibe, so they keep it going whenever it’s convenient to all of their schedules. Sully is now synonymous as a steve, his social media manager is savvy enough to capitalize on it, and he retires a beloved internet pet instead of a random also-ran to two generational talents.

Enter higher stakes for both of them, increased scrutiny, a Shane Hollander with even more to prove to the world, an Ilya Rozanov with a higher garden wall to scale, and an attraction that overcomes the odds in every universe.

It all starts to go wrong (for Shane) when due to a series of hilarious (not for Shane, but for everyone else) misunderstandings Yuna signs Shane up for a K-pop idol trainee class, thinking it'll be fun to try something new while he has a little time off, and maybe it'll give him some confidence off the ice, help get him break out of his shell a little bit.

Unfortunately (for Shane, and everyone else in the class) he 1: actually has a phenomenal singing voice, and 2: he’s so competitive about anything physical that he ends up picking up choreography really quickly and then ends up so bored while he waits for everyone else to catch up that he puts his own flavor on the moves and accidentally develops his own style. With those two factors on his side his natural awkwardness is perceived as a persona, and he’s quickly tagged as The Sweet Shy One. Basically, through absolutely no fault of his own, he blows everyone else in the class away and impresses the instructors so much that they beg his parents to let him audition for the entertainment companies.

There is a world in which Shane is able to put his foot down right there and stop the madness before it goes too far, and the events of heated rivalry proceed as they do, just with the pictures and video proof of this time in his life weighing down his Damoclesian Sword of gayness

However. In MY WORLD.

Yuna and Shane get stuck in a miscommunication doom cycle (you know that thing they do where she thinks he wants this because he thinks he'll disappoint her if he doesn't, but she only wants him to do what makes him happy, but it's impossible for him to know what that is because he's focused on making her happy) that results in him changing the entire trajectory of his life and becoming an honest to god K-Pop megastar.

Bonus points for this outcome, because in this world Sveta becomes a huge METRO-$ stan, and through friendship-osmosis introduces Ilya to his latest and greatest obsession: Shane, the Sweet and Shy member who doesn't date because he's saving himself for marriage.

The thing is it was also kind of helpful.

Years later, there is an unmarked locked folder on Ilya’s phone that he privately calls “S is for Shane”. It contains pictures, mostly stolen or taken without his knowledge, that epitomize different moods. Of course it starts with Slutty Shane, Salacious Shane, Slow Shane, Strategic Shane, Swift Shane, Smooth Shane.

David had played decently on his Junior A team through his teenage years, decently enough that it's not delusional to think he has a shot at a spot on the McGill roster, at least. He and his dad even met with the McGill scout when the man came out to one of their regular season games last fall, and the meeting had gone pretty well. But, after a childhood spent mostly on the ice, never quite having enough motivation to make the move to the most competitive leagues, always kind of wishing he had time for other things, there’s a part of him that’s been planning to hang up his skates for good after this last season. Try to find a new hobby, expand his horizons, etc. like everyone was always saying you should do in college.

And that’s all lovely and fabulous but what I REALLY want to talk about is that because Shane’s professional life is so focused on molding young minds, being a good role model, setting a good example, being the change he wants to see in the world, etc etc, he really only has one vice, one outlet, one place where he can go and just truly let loose.

And that is how Shane Hollander, rec league pest, is born.

————_/\_————

Former Raider current Centaur perennial generational talent Ilya Rozanov is brought in to volunteer at the camp for some reason (court ordered community service (for an excess of unpaid parking tickets (he would have paid them except he GENUINELY FORGOT to give them to his accountant OK?))). He very much supports the camp and its mission but he finds Executive Director Hollander exhaustively boring, like almost so boring that it eclipses his tremendously hot face and incredibly fuckable body.

Until the day he and some of the other coaches set up a little friendly for the adults after the kids go home.

“I’m not a chicken” he said before sneaking into an R rated movie at 13