#slgpst

mcr fandom since a new generation of teens discovered b*ndom

me when i’m passively transgender

Eating-disordered people are aware, to a limited extent, that their behavior is dangerous. We may be deluded in a number of ways, but we are not so far gone that we cannot see the way our crusade—emotional survival, physical death—cancels itself out altogether. The body, many of us find to our great dismay, will always win. Either it will survive despite our best efforts, dealing a blow to our egotistical notion that we can control it, or it will die, making emotional survival utterly moot. People who have eating disorders are all very different. I am certain that there are people who just get eating disorders and are not necessarily trying to starve themselves to death. I was not one of those people. I was trying to die, in a curious, casual sort of way. Some women I've talked to say they were just testing the limits of the human body—eating-disordered athletes in particular seem to have this idea—but they speak in a bizarre, almost proactive tone, as if they had always intended to stop. The eating disorder just got out of hand.