#slengo

Zalgo wakes before the bells.

It is not an act of discipline. How could it? He's chaos incarnated. It is also not duty, nor habit, nor any admirable thing the board would praise if they ever found out their king managed to keep still long enough to rise before dawn. It is simple anticipation, hot and bright in his chest the moment awareness returns and he remembers what day it is.

Slender’s birthday.

The thought drags a grin out of him before his eyes have even fully adjusted to the dim blue-gray light seeping through the long windows of their chambers. Beside him, Slender is still lying flat on his back, composed even in sleep, long body half-covered by the dark sheets, all elegant stillness and restrained strength. One arm rests over his middle. His head is turned slightly toward Zalgo, though not enough to be called cuddling, because Slender does not do anything in sleep that could be considered careless.

Zalgo props himself on an elbow and stares.

He has looked at his husband countless times over countless nights and still finds something new to linger on. The spare build. The sharp line of throat beneath the jaw. The way his shoulders stay broad even when relaxed. The black tendrils pooled loosely around him like shadows that never quite detach from their master, quiet now, half asleep with him.

Slender hates fanfare. He hates noise for noise’s sake. He hates public celebrations, crowded halls, formal toasts, forced entertainment, and the kind of attention that requires him to stand there while others watch him react.

Zalgo loves nearly all of those things.

He loves spectacle. He loves chaos. He loves grand gestures that leave people stunned or delighted or frightened enough to speak of them for weeks. A birthday, in Zalgo’s hands, naturally wants to become a feast that swallows a wing of the castle whole, a storm of decorations, musicians, candles, gifts stacked higher than servants can carry.

Slender would endure exactly five minutes of that before becoming so coldly displeased that every living thing in the room would feel it in their bones.

So Zalgo restrains himself.

For him.

The very fact of it makes him feel noble, which is absurd, because what kind of husband congratulates himself for not subjecting his beloved to misery on his birthday? Still, he feels it anyway. A small private satisfaction. He will do this right. He will make today pleasant. Quiet. Thoughtful.

He just needs to figure out what, exactly, Slender likes enough to make it worth the effort.

That is where the problem begins.

Slender stirs before Zalgo can slide out of bed, one hand coming up to rub at his temple. A tendril shifts across the mattress and brushes Zalgo’s thigh as if checking whether he is still there. Zalgo softens instantly.

“Good morning,” he murmurs, leaning down to press a kiss to the corner of Slender’s inexistent mouth.

Slender hums low in his throat.

“You are awake early.”

“It is an important day.”

That gets more of a response. Slender lowers his hand and turns his faceless attention toward him, and even without visible eyes Zalgo can feel the brief pause, the effort to sort through what catastrophe might await him in the court calendar.

“Important to whom?” Slender asks.

Zalgo nearly laughs. Nearly. He holds it back because that would ruin everything far too soon.

“To me.”

Slender is quiet for a beat, then reaches up and smooths a hand along the side of Zalgo’s neck. It is a grounding touch, affectionate in that plain way he prefers, never more than needed but never less.

“Then I will assume,” Slender says, voice still rough with sleep, “that I should survive it.”

Zalgo bares his teeth in a grin.

“Barely.”

Slender exhales something that might be amusement, then starts sitting up. The moment the day truly begins, the softness of bed leaves him with frightening speed. He rises into purpose almost immediately, already thinking ahead. Zalgo can feel it. The list of meetings. Petitions. Legal reviews. Land disputes. Trade agreements. Appeals. Three board sessions, one of which should, by all rights, include Zalgo as well.

It will not.

Not today.

Slender stands, long and imposing even in the privacy of their chamber, and reaches for his robe. One of his tendrils snakes out to gather fallen garments from the chair near the hearth, placing them within easy reach. Zalgo watches him dress and thinks, not for the first time, that marrying a creature so composed should have cured him of some of his own restlessness.

It has not.

If anything, it has given his restlessness shape. He wants to spend it all on Slender. Circle him. Distract him. Lay ruin to anything that steals his time.

Instead he waits until Slender is fastening the final clasp at his collar and says, with deliberate carelessness,

“You will be dreadfully busy today, won’t you?”

Slender glances over.

“As will you.”

Zalgo lifts a shoulder.

“Perhaps.”

That gets him a sharper turn of the head.

“Zalgo.”

Zalgo puts on his sweetest smile, which usually means trouble.

“My love.”

“You are required at the second board assembly. The eastern quarter taxation review cannot be postponed again.”

“It can. I am king.”

Slender goes utterly still.

That stillness is never empty. It gathers weight in the room. It does not frighten Zalgo, not after all this time, but he respects it enough to take it seriously.

“You are also,” Slender says evenly, “the one who agreed to hear the complaints concerning it.”

“I was younger then.”

“That was last week.”

Zalgo rises from the bed with a languid stretch, all black limbs and easy confidence. He closes the distance between them, lays both hands on Slender’s chest, and tilts his head back to look up at him.

“Surely my husband can manage one dreary review without me.”

“That is not the point.”

“It is exactly the point.” Zalgo brushes his mouth along Slender’s jaw. “You are so capable. So admired. So tragically suited to legal governance.”

“And you are avoiding responsibility.”

“I am prioritizing.”

Slender’s hand settles at his waist.

“That is not the word anyone else would use.”

“Then they should become more imaginative.”

For a moment Slender merely holds him there. He could press harder. He could insist. On most days, if it mattered enough, he would. That is part of why the kingdom functions despite its king’s tendency to drift toward whatever interests him most in the moment. Slender anchors things. Calculates. Organizes. He is the line against which all Zalgo’s impulses break and reform.

This morning, though, he only sighs.

“You are impossible,” he says.

“And yet beloved.”

“That is, regrettably, true.”

Zalgo beams.

“Then go do your awful duties, my severe and honorable husband. I, meanwhile, will be engaged in matters of great delicacy.”

“I do not trust that phrasing one bit.”

“You do not trust anything you can't control.”

A soft sound leaves Slender, almost a chuckle, and that alone makes Zalgo feel the day is starting well.

It does not stay that easy.

The moment Slender disappears into the corridor, swallowed by servants, advisers, and the first of the day’s papers, Zalgo begins his work.

He has assumed, foolishly, that discovering what Slender enjoys will be simple. They have been married long enough. He knows his husband. He knows the particular tilt of Slender’s head that means he is amused and hiding it. He knows which touch will melt the tension from his shoulders and which will make him straighten, guarded and alert. He knows the difference between the silence Slender uses because he is content and the silence he uses because he is displeased.

But liking — small likes, personal preferences, birthday-worthy pleasures — those prove harder.

He corners the head chef first.

“What does my husband order when left to his own devices?”

The chef blinks.

“My lord?”

“Do keep up.” Zalgo leans over the kitchen table, long fingers splayed over polished wood. “When Lord Slenderman eats without regard for guests, ceremonies, court, or nutrition lectures, what does he prefer?”

The chef, to his credit, answers quickly.

“He does not often order for preference. He asks whether the meal is efficient for the schedule of the day.”

Zalgo stares.

“Efficient.”

“Yes, my lord.”

“He chooses food the way generals choose roads, for fuck's sake.”

The chef says nothing, which is wise.

Zalgo abandons the kitchen and moves on, pouting.

He questions footmen, chamber staff, scribes, attendants, archivists, the old steward who has managed the household through three generations of impossible rulers and has yet to die of stress. Their answers are all variations on the same offense.

Lord Slenderman prefers quiet.

Lord Slenderman dislikes waste.

Lord Slenderman takes tea without sweetener.

Lord Slenderman favors dark colors.

Lord Slenderman works late.

Lord Slenderman does not complain.

Lord Slenderman once requested extra lamp oil during a week of storms.

Lord Slenderman appreciates punctuality.

Lord Slenderman thanked the gardeners when they cut the night-blooming vines away from the south window because the scent was too strong near his desk.

That one finally gives Zalgo something useful. He seizes on it, turning so sharply one servant nearly drops a tray.

“He dislikes strong floral scents?”

The gardener, wide-eyed, nods.

“Only while working, my lord.”

“Good. Better. Something real.” Zalgo paces once, then swings back. “What else?”

The gardener swallows.

“He likes the white roses in the western courtyard.”

Zalgo stops.

“White roses.”

“Yes, my lord. Not because of the flowers, I think. Because they are well kept. He stands there sometimes when he has had a difficult morning.”

This, at last, feels like information rather than a report from a tax ledger.

Zalgo collects these small things over the next hour, storing them with the intensity other men reserve for military strategy.

White roses. Low light. Quiet rooms. Hot food served hot. Tea without sweetener. Few scents. Order. Space. No audience.

And from an elderly attendant who has known Slender since before marriage gave him the right to touch what he wanted, Zalgo gets one final piece.

“He likes when you sit close while he works,” she says before she can seem to realize the intimacy of the statement.

Zalgo freezes.

The attendant’s face goes pale.

“Forgive me, my lord, I should not have—”

“No.” His voice comes softer than she expects. “No. Say it again.”

She does not. She only dips into a trembling curtsy.

But Zalgo does not need her to. He has heard enough.

He is impossible to surprise and yet finds himself stilled by something so small, so plain, so humiliatingly dear that his chest hurts for a moment. Slender likes that. Not grand displays. Not lavish offerings. Not praise in a crowded hall. Simply Zalgo near him. Close enough to feel. Close enough to know he is not alone in the room.

Zalgo dismisses the woman with rare gentleness and stands by himself in the corridor, unable for a moment to decide whether he feels triumphant or absurdly tender.

Then he decides he can be both.

A dinner, then.

No banquet. No guests. No musicians. No political obligation disguised as celebration.

Just the main dining hall stripped of everything he hates. The long table set not for twenty, but for two. Candles lowered. Flowers removed.

The worst of the ceremonial silver left locked away in favor of the dark flatware Slender prefers because it does not catch too much light.

His tea. A meal chosen not for spectacle but because the kitchen can make it excellent and serve it at the exact moment Slender sits down. White roses from the western courtyard, if he can get them arranged without scent overwhelming the room.

And something else. Something made by Zalgo’s own hands, however laughable that may sound to everyone who knows him.

He spends most of the afternoon trying.

The first attempt is ruined by impatience. He wants a gift that does not look bought, ordered, or delegated. Something personal. He settles, after much foul temper and two broken ink pots, on writing out a formal decree exempting Slender from all non-emergency duties for the next two days, sealed not with the kingdom’s crest but with Zalgo’s private mark.

It is ridiculous.

It is impractical.

Slender may ignore it entirely.

It is also perfect.

The second attempt — an attempt to package the decree in a finely crafted box — goes worse. Zalgo has no skill for delicate manual work and less patience for developing it.

By the time a servant timidly offers to assist, three lengths of ribbon have been reduced to curling ash and the worktable has sprouted extra teeth.

Zalgo dismisses everyone and finishes it himself out of spite.

By dusk, the hall is ready.

It is not grand by his standards. By anyone else’s, perhaps. But for Zalgo, who measures success in spectacle, the restraint feels almost severe. He walks the length of the room twice to make sure nothing jars. The candles are spaced cleanly. The runner lies flat. The dishes wait under warming covers. The roses are placed far enough away that they are seen before they are smelled. No musicians lurk in alcoves. No courtiers have been invited to appear and congratulate anyone. The servants know better than to enter unless summoned.

Good.

He is still smiling when he sends the last attendant away.

Then the waiting begins.

Slender knows by midmorning that something is wrong.

Not wrong in the catastrophic sense. The castle is not on fire. No border has fallen. No one has died in a way that requires immediate burial, compensation, or retaliation.

The kingdom continues to move, which is more than can be said for it on some days when Zalgo grows bored and starts “improving” things.

No, this is a subtler wrongness. A shift in rhythm.

Zalgo is absent.

That alone is not unusual. His husband appears and disappears through duty, whim, hunger, and instinct with frustrating ease, especially on days filled with meetings. But his absences have character. They leave signs. Noise somewhere distant. A tremor in the corridors. Servants walking faster because their king has taken sudden interest in the armory, the dungeons, the observatory, or some half-forgotten ruin in the lower wards.

Today the signs are strange.

There is restraint in them.

A clerk arrives with a stack of revised documents and smells faintly of smoke and roses. The head steward appears distracted. Two footmen whisper outside the chamber until Slender opens the door and they nearly climb over each other to apologize. When he asks where the king is, both men look so alarmed he almost regrets it.

“Occupied, my lord,” one manages.

“With what?”

The man falters.

“Personal matters.”

Slender dismisses them and returns to the taxation review already tired.

The board drones on. Numbers, districts, disputes over levy ratios, grain storage allocations, merchant exemptions, seasonal adjustments. Ordinarily Zalgo’s presence would make this more difficult, not less. He would interrupt. Derail. Decide halfway through that a problem should be solved by releasing caged storms into the eastern market and seeing who survives the cleanup. Slender should be grateful for the quiet.

He is not.

At noon, one of his tendrils slips beneath the chamber door and trails along the corridor, following the path Zalgo has taken earlier in the day. It returns with a thousand little impressions. Kitchen heat. Ink. Ribbon. White rose stems. Burnt cloth. Zalgo’s laughter in one hall. Zalgo’s impatience in another. Then nothing stable enough to form a picture.

Slender closes his inexistent eyes for one measured breath and reopens them.

He has not forgotten the date. He simply has not thought of it as important beyond the fact that Zalgo, who remembers every opportunity for excess, would certainly notice it.

Slender himself has never cared much for birthdays. They are markers, not celebrations. Another year lived. Another cycle of obligation. Another tally of what has and has not been done.

Still, the awareness settles differently in him once it joins the scent of roses and ink.

Zalgo is planning something.

That should not warm him. It does.

He says nothing. To the board or to anyone else.

The first session overruns. Then the second begins late because a pair of ministers arrive with fresh complaints concerning a canal project and Zalgo’s signature missing from two approvals. Slender signs as acting authority because someone must. A representative from the southern estates petitions for review of inheritance law. Then an emergency revision of trade passage rights arrives because a lesser lord has decided the border tolls apply to funeral processions, which is both offensive and legally murky enough to demand immediate response.

By the time the third assembly starts, Slender has eaten nothing but half a heel of bread and tea gone cold in its cup.

He remains composed. No one in the room would call him weary. They have all learned too well that his stillness means nothing about his capacity.

Inside, however, the hours begin to grind.

He thinks of Zalgo more than is efficient.

He thinks of him stalking through the castle, trying to pry information out of people who would rather throw themselves from the ramparts than answer badly. He imagines the impatience, the huffing, the pacing. The dramatic offense at every unhelpful answer. He imagines Zalgo trying, in his own unsuitable way, to do something gentle.

A faint tenderness passes through him so unexpectedly that he goes silent in the middle of reviewing a contract clause.

The board waits.

Slender resumes as though nothing happened.

But the feeling stays.

By the time the last of the dishes is set, Zalgo is already at the doorway, listening.

The meeting chamber is not far. Had it been at the other end of the castle, he might have shown more dignity. As it is, he can stand just beyond the turn of the corridor and hear enough to know they are still talking.

Still talking.

He presses his forehead briefly to the stone and groans.

Inside, Slender’s voice cuts through another man’s, low and even and impossible to mistake. Zalgo closes his eyes, picturing him seated at that long boardroom table, one hand braced near a spread of papers, tendrils curled in perfect restraint, every person in the room deferring to him because even when Zalgo wears the crown, Slender is the one who makes them all remember what responsibility feels like.

Zalgo loves that about him.

At present, he hates it.

A servant approaches from behind carrying fresh lamp oil for the hall, sees Zalgo, and nearly turns back around in terror.

“Did I summon you away?” Zalgo asks without moving.

“No, my lord.”

“Then continue. Quietly. If a single bottle clinks, I will fill it with spiders.”

The servant scurries past in silence.

Zalgo waits another ten minutes, then peeks around the corner like an undignified beast in his own castle.

The boardroom doors remain shut. A guard posted outside glances at him, then very carefully does not acknowledge the king hovering in the hallway. Zalgo narrows his eyes. The guard looks even straighter ahead.

This is unbearable.

He paces back to the dining hall. Checks the candles. Rearranges a fork by less than an inch. Lifts one lid, confirms the food remains warm, sets it down again. He circles the table once. Twice. He sits in Slender’s chair for three seconds just to test the line of sight. Rises immediately because it feels wrong.

Then he goes back to the corridor.

Still closed.

Still talking.

He mutters a vicious stream of private insults toward the entire administrative body. They deserve every one.

Once, overcome by the sheer stupidity of mortal governance, he actually makes it halfway to the door before stopping himself. He can picture it too clearly, shoving into the boardroom, draping himself across Slender’s shoulders, declaring the meeting over because the king demands his husband. Slender would turn that faceless stare on him, cold and flat in front of everyone. Not cruel. Worse. Deeply disappointed.

Zalgo stops dead and drags both hands over his face.

No.

He will not ruin this. He will not make Slender choose between duty and affection in front of subordinates. He knows better. He knows exactly how hard his husband works to keep order around him, how often he swallows irritation and cleans up after decisions made in heat or boredom or hunger.

The least Zalgo can do, on Slender’s birthday of all days, is let him finish what needs finishing.

Even if it means standing here feeling like his own skin does not fit.

When he has paced a rut into the carpet and can no longer pretend he is not being pathetic, he abandons the corridor and wanders out through a side passage, then another, then down the shallow stairs leading toward the western exterior galleries.

The evening air hits cool and clean. The sun has gone low enough to leave the castle in long, dark planes. Beyond the walls the kingdom spreads under gathering dusk, towers and roofs and broad roads folding into one another. Fires begin to kindle in homes and district lanterns.

A hundred small lives continuing, each one demanding rules, judgment, protection, compromise.

Slender spends his whole birthday buried beneath all of that.

The thought sours in Zalgo’s mouth.

He moves farther from the castle without meaning to, out along the old path that skirts the western edge of the grounds and gives way to rougher stone and sparse, dark grass. Here the wards thin. Not unsafely, not in any way the kingdom would consider negligence, but enough that his own nature has more room to stretch.

He lets it.

Thin black threads of chaos unspool from his fingertips and drift over the ground in twisting streams. They do not destroy. He is not in the mood for destruction. They merely alter. Pebbles lift and hover. Grass bends the wrong way. A patch of dark air ripples like disturbed water. One rivulet curls around a dead branch and covers it in pale, watching eyes that blink once and vanish. Another folds light inside itself until a small section of dusk flickers with false stars.

It should amuse him.

It does, a little. For moments at a time. Enough to keep his hands occupied.

But restlessness deepens into something heavier if not given its way.

He had imagined today differently. Not extravagantly, not after he adjusted his first instincts, but clearly.

Slender home from work before night fully fell. A private hall. A meal. Quiet. Zalgo making that decree-box gift look less foolish by pressing it into long, elegant hands and pretending it was nothing.

Maybe afterward, a walk through the western courtyard. Or back to their rooms. Slender loosened for once, seated comfortably, allowing himself to be celebrated in ways no court would ever see.

Instead the candles burn without him.

Zalgo keeps walking.

He tells himself this is no injury. Plans fail. He is chaos. Failure and interruption should be his native language. He should laugh and improvise and twist the evening into something else entirely. He should not feel abandoned just because the kingdom once again stretches its hands into what he wanted to keep for himself.

But the feeling is there all the same.

It is not anger, not exactly. He is angry at the board, at papers, at governance, at the whole dull machinery of need that keeps pulling Slender away. Yet beneath that is something far less comfortable.

Hurt.

He hates how plain it is.

He wanted the day. Not the dinner. Not the performance of effort. The day itself. Slender near him. Slender aware. Slender not spoken for by everyone else from dawn until nightfall. He wanted, selfishly and simply, to have the right to his husband for a little while without petitioning the kingdom for permission.

He did not get it.

Zalgo lowers himself onto a low rise of stone at the outskirts, elbows braced on his knees, and lets the dark streams of his power wind lazily around his boots.

The kingdom glows at a distance. The castle windows hold scattered amber light. Somewhere inside all of that, Slender is still in a room full of voices that are not Zalgo’s.

He stays there longer than he realizes.

Long enough for the air to cool further. Long enough for the first sharp edge of disappointment to dull into an ache he does not know what to do with.

Long enough for his own thoughts to fold inward.

When he is this absorbed, the world always narrows.

So it takes several soft movements around him before he notices he is no longer alone.

A familiar darkness slips over his wrist.

Zalgo startles, not violently, but enough that the chaos streams around his feet jump and flatten. Another tendril follows the first, then another, wrapping with patient care around his forearm, his waist, his opposite shoulder. They do not restrain. They gather.

Zalgo looks up.

Slender stands behind him, towering in the dim light, coat still immaculate despite the late hour, shoulders straight even now. The sight of him — real, here, finally — hits so hard that for a moment Zalgo can only stare.

Slender’s tendrils tighten by a fraction, gentle and questioning.

“What,” Slender asks quietly, “are you doing out here, sulking and playing with your waves so far from the castle?”

The question should sting. Instead it breaks something loose in him.

Zalgo exhales and tips his head back until it rests briefly against Slender’s middle.

“I was not sulking.”

“You were.”

“I was contemplating.”

“In a very wounded manner.”

Zalgo lets his many eyes fall shut. There is no point pretending with him. Not after all these years, not after he has been found exactly like this, half folded in on himself while his power drifts around him like discarded thoughts.

“I just…” He opens his eyes again and watches one ribbon of chaos thread over the stone, then unravel. “I really wanted to spend the whole day near you.”

Silence.

Not empty silence. Listening silence.

“The kingdom,” Zalgo continues, softer now, “and its needs required your clinical attention and resolutions and all the rest of it. I know. I know that.” His mouth twists. “I did not want to be selfish in a way that would actually matter. So I stayed out of your meetings. I behaved. I was almost virtuous.”

“You were seen lurking outside the chamber twice.”

Zalgo snorts despite himself.

“Spies.”

“Witnesses.”

“Traitors.”

Slender’s hand settles more firmly at his side through the wrap of shadow.

“Zalgo.”

That tone draws him back. He sighs and lets the last of his flippancy fall away.

“I looked forward to it. More than I meant to. And then the day kept passing. That is all.”

For a moment he thinks Slender might answer from where he stands. Instead the tendrils around him loosen and withdraw just enough to invite movement.

Zalgo understands.

He rises from the stone and turns.

Only then does Slender fully gather him in.

His arms come around Zalgo with careful strength, drawing him close against that long, dark body. It is not a desperate embrace. It is not dramatic. It is steady, encompassing, real. Zalgo’s hands clutch at his coat without elegance. He folds inward at once, presses in, tucks himself under the line of Slender’s jaw and nuzzles there with a small, helpless sound he would never make in front of anyone else.

Slender’s chin tips lightly over his hair.

“I am sorry,” Slender says, voice low against the top of his head. “I will compensate you.”

Zalgo laughs softly into his throat, the sound frayed at the edges.

“It is your birthday. You do not need to be sorry. You need to be pampered and spoiled.”

There it is.

A quiet chuckle.

Rare enough that Zalgo feels it before he quite hears it.

“Do I?”

“You do.”

“I suspect this is less about me than you.”

Zalgo lifts his head just enough to bare his teeth in a grin.

“Do not ruin my sincerity with accuracy.”

Slender’s hand slides up the back of his neck and stays there.

“You prepared something.”

Zalgo squints.

“You can smell it on me.”

“Roses. Ink. Burnt ribbon.”

“Oh, that last one was a private failing.”

“I did not say it with judgment.”

“You should. It was humiliating.”

Slender’s thumb strokes once at the nape of his neck.

“I am sorry I was delayed.”

Zalgo studies him in the dimness. Really studies him. The set of his shoulders is too tight. There is fatigue under the composure, buried deep but present. He has likely been in and out of formal posture since early morning, fed nothing decent, thanked inadequately, and burdened with every mind in the kingdom that mistakes his competence for endless capacity.

Tenderness returns so sharply that Zalgo feels ashamed for brooding out here while Slender endured that.

His hands slide up to either side of Slender’s face, though there is no face to cup in the ordinary sense, only the smooth and beloved planes of him.

“Come back with me.”

Slender leans into the touch by the slightest degree.

“Lead on, then.”

They walk back to the castle together.

Zalgo keeps close, sometimes shoulder to shoulder, sometimes with fingers hooked into Slender’s sleeve, sometimes brushing against him just because he can. Slender allows every bit of it. More than allows. At one point a tendril trails down and links loosely around Zalgo’s wrist, as if he has no intention of losing him again in the dark.

By the time they reach the dining hall, the candles have burned lower but still hold.

Zalgo pauses at the threshold, suddenly absurdly nervous.

Slender feels it at once.

“May I enter?”

The dry courtesy breaks the tension cleanly. Zalgo huffs a laugh and pushes the doors open.

The hall receives them in silence.

No fanfare. No hidden guests. No waiting servants with trays and speeches. Just warmth, low candlelight, the dark gleam of polished wood, the narrow run of white roses, and a meal laid out with unusual care.

Slender stops.

He says nothing immediately, and because Zalgo is Zalgo, those two seconds become torture.

“If you hate it,” he says quickly, “I can destroy it before your eyes and order blood pudding instead.”

Slender turns his faceless gaze toward him.

“Do not.”

“Then say something.”

Slender looks back at the table. When he finally speaks, his voice has gone quieter than before.

“You did all this for me.”

The simplicity of it makes Zalgo want to shake him.

“Obviously.”

Slender glances again, and there is unmistakable warmth in the angle of his head, in the way one tendril reaches absently toward the nearest candle and adjusts it lower without being asked.

“Obviously,” he echoes.

Zalgo preens despite himself.

“Sit.”

Slender does.

The first portion of the meal passes better than Zalgo dared hope. The food is still warm enough to matter. The chef has surpassed himself.

There is roasted venison cut thin and tender, black bread with a crust that cracks under the knife, mushrooms cooked in butter and herbs without drowning them in scent, potatoes soft at the center, and the tea Slender favors waiting in a dark pot at his right hand.

Later there is a tart with pear and spiced cream, subtle enough not to offend his restrained tastes.

Zalgo watches him with shameless focus through half the meal.

“Eat your own portion,” Slender says eventually.

“I am.”

“You are stalking me with your eyes.”

“It is a privilege of marriage.”

“It is unnerving.”

“You are lying.”

“I am not.”

“You are. You enjoy being observed when the observer is me.”

Slender cuts another piece of venison with maddening composure.

“That does not make it less intense.”

Zalgo grins and finally takes his own bite.

The decree-box waits beside his plate until the main course is finished. Then Zalgo clears his throat with enough theatrical weight that Slender sets down his cup and turns toward him.

“What now?”

“A gift.”

Slender goes still in that particular way he has when caught off guard and unwilling to display it too openly.

“You did not need to get me anything.”

“I know. That is why it is called a gift.”

Zalgo slides the box across the table. For one terrible second he regrets everything. The box is slightly crooked. One corner of the wrapping bears the faint mark of heat where he nearly destroyed it.

Slender will open it and see immediately that it was not done by skilled hands.

He will know.

Then again, that is half the point.

Slender lifts it carefully, turning it once before opening the lid.

Inside, the decree lies folded on dark paper, sealed in black wax with Zalgo’s private mark stamped hard and deep at the center.

Slender breaks the seal, unfolds it, and reads.

Zalgo cannot help it.

“It is legally sound,” he says before Slender reaches the second line. “Mostly.”

“Mostly?”

“I had to consult three different records to make sure a royal household exemption can be phrased in matrimonial terms without causing an uprising.”

Slender reads to the end. Reads it again. Then looks up.

Zalgo braces for mockery.

Instead Slender sets the paper down with almost reverent care and says,

“You wrote this.”

“Yes.”

“Yourself.”

“Yes.”

“With no assistance.”

“Well. Some threats.”

A tendril comes across the table, curls once around Zalgo’s wrist, and squeezes.

“Thank you,” Slender says.

The sincerity in it leaves no room for joking. Zalgo swallows.

“You are welcome.”

That should be enough. It is already more than he dared hope for. But the warmth in the room has changed shape now, loosened into something intimate and private and unhurried, and Zalgo refuses to let the chance pass him by.

He rises from his chair.

Slender watches him approach with open suspicion.

“What are you doing?”

“Improving things.”

“That answer never comforts me.”

Zalgo stops at his side and holds out a hand.

“Up.”

“You want me to stand?”

“For a moment.”

Slender considers him, then obeys.

The instant he is upright, Zalgo slides into the chair he vacated and pats one thigh.

“Sit.”

Slender stares.

Zalgo pats again.

“Do not make me beg in my own dining hall.”

“I am not sitting in your lap.”

“You are.”

“In the middle of dinner.”

“Precisely.”

Slender’s posture grows even more impossibly formal, which means he is flustered enough to be thinking about it.

“That is ridiculous.”

“That is pampering.”

“That is impropriety.”

“There is no one here.”

“That is not the point.”

“It is exactly the point, and if you deny me this after I have labored all day in romance, I shall be forced to conclude you are cruel.”

Slender looks at him for a long, weighing moment. Then at the empty room. Then back at him.

“You are impossible, that's what you are.” he says again, though there is no real force behind it now.

“And yet... beloved,” Zalgo reminds him.

Slender exhales slowly, a sound perilously close to surrender. Then, to Zalgo’s stunned delight, he does it.

He lowers himself with great caution, all long limbs and dignity, until he is seated sideways across Zalgo’s lap. One arm comes around Zalgo’s shoulders automatically, more for balance than clinging, but the contact is enough to make heat spread through Zalgo’s entire chest. He tightens both arms around Slender’s waist at once, smiling against the line of his throat.

“There,” Zalgo murmurs, triumphant. “Much better.”

“You are insufferable tonight.”

“And you are sitting in my lap.”

“I am aware.”

“On your birthday.”

“I am painfully aware.”

Zalgo kisses the underside of his jaw.

“Good.”

He reaches for Slender’s fork before the taller creature can protest, lifts a piece of pear from the waiting dessert plate, and brings it to his mouth.

Slender tilts his head away on reflex.

“Zalgo—”

“No. Open.”

“This is absurd.”

“Yes~”

“I can feed myself.”

“You can. But tonight you do not have to.”

Something in that lands.

Slender goes quiet. Then, with a minute shake of the head that speaks of private surrender rather than defeat, he accepts the offered bite.

Zalgo nearly glows.

“There,” he says softly once Slender has swallowed. “That was not so terrible.”

“I hate how pleased you are.”

“You adore how pleased I am.”

“That... is not totally a lie.”

Another bite. This time of tart. Then a sip of tea held for him while Zalgo supports the cup. Slender allows all of it with a mixture of tolerance and hidden fondness that would fool everyone in the kingdom except the one creature currently holding him.

Zalgo settles into it shamelessly. He feeds him small portions, never rushing, sometimes pausing only to touch or kiss him or adjust him more comfortably against his chest. Slender grows looser by degrees. One hand, which had remained braced and self-conscious at first, slides down to rest over Zalgo’s forearm. His shoulders lower. His head tips back once, just a fraction, against Zalgo’s shoulder while he swallows the last of the tea.

The sight nearly undoes him.

“You are,” Slender says at last, voice deep with quiet amusement, “a hopeless romantic.”

Zalgo does not deny it.

He merely bares his throat in a little laugh and nibbles along Slender’s jawline, slow and affectionate and entirely unashamed.

“I married the right man, then.”

“Did you?”

“Yes. Someone had to appreciate my efforts properly.”

Slender turns his head by a degree, enough to bring them nearer face to face.

“I do appreciate them.”

The words are plain. No flourish. No performance.

Zalgo stills.

In all the kingdom, in all the years of knowing him, no one says things with less waste than Slender. Every word comes chosen. Meant.

Zalgo’s expression softens completely.

“Good,” he says, and it comes out quieter than intended. “That was all I wanted.”

Slender’s fingers tighten once over his arm.

For a little while after that, nothing more needs saying.

The candles continue to burn low. The food cools in stages.

Outside the hall the kingdom carries on with its endless motions, but here, at last, none of it can reach them.

The board can wait until tomorrow.

The ministers can sharpen their complaints in private.

The eastern quarter will survive the night without either king or legal steward watching over it.

Zalgo holds his husband and feeds him the rest of the dessert in ridiculous little bites. Slender lets him. When he is finished, he remains where he is instead of rising at once. Zalgo takes that silent permission for the treasure it is.

Eventually Slender speaks, gaze angled toward the candlelit table rather than toward the door.

“You wanted the whole day.”

Zalgo hesitates. There is no point lying now.

“Yes...”

“I know.”

Zalgo buries his face briefly against his shoulder.

“I did try not to make it your problem.”

“That does not mean it was not mine to notice.”

“Do not become gentler than I can bear. It is very unbecoming.”

“I see.”

“It will ruin your reputation.”

“My reputation survived marrying you.”

Zalgo laughs into his neck and kisses the place afterward.

After a moment Slender shifts, not away but enough to turn more fully toward him. One hand rises to comb through Zalgo’s hair with those careful fingers that can break a spine or soothe him straight through to his bones.

“I cannot give you the day back,” Slender says. “But the decree you wrote is binding enough to be inconvenient if ignored.”

Zalgo blinks up at him.

“You intend to honor it?”

“I intend,” Slender says, and there is that dry note again now, “to honor it as far as the kingdom permits.”

“That still leaves quite a lot.”

“It does.”

A sharp grin returns to Zalgo’s mouth.

“Then I shall make plans.”

“I assumed as much.”

“You say that as though it is a threat.”

“It is always a threat.”

Zalgo bites lightly at his jaw once more, feeling the soft vibration of another chuckle under his mouth.

“Tomorrow, then. No boards. No petitions. No taxes. No talking to men with damp hands and poorer handwriting than mine.”

“That does sound restful.”

“And you will do exactly what I say.”

“I doubt that.”

“You could attempt obedience. As a birthday extension.”

“You are inventing traditions.”

“I am king. That is one of my privileges.”

Slender tilts his head.

“Your privileges seem endless.”

“They are.”

“And exhausting.”

“But beloved.”

There is a pause. Then Slender leans down and presses a kiss to his forehead, so simple and unguarded that Zalgo goes still all over again.

“Yes,” Slender says against his skin. “Beloved.”

The room falls quiet after that in the best way.

Later, they will leave the hall.

Slender will insist on helping clear at least some part of it until Zalgo physically bars him from the task.

They will return to their rooms through dim corridors with the castle already asleep around them.

Zalgo will complain again, less bitterly this time, about stolen hours and miserable boards.

Slender will let him. He will listen. He will touch, steady and present, until the last ache drains from the day.

But for now they remain where they are.

The birthday has not gone to plan. The day has been eaten piece by piece by duty, paperwork, voices, rulings, and the ordinary hunger of a kingdom too large to ignore.

Zalgo cannot change that. Slender cannot either, not wholly.

Still, the night is here. The hall is warm. The candles hold. Slender sits across his lap and lets himself be held without argument for once. Zalgo counts that for what it is: not the grand triumph he first imagined, but something smaller and rarer.

Something true.

And because it is true, because it is Slender, because no audience watches and no petition can reach them and no one in the kingdom knows how soft their king can become when he has finally gotten what he wanted, Zalgo rests his cheek against Slender’s shoulder and lets himself be content.

For tonight, at least, that is enough.