#sleepytwyla_thoughts

I set the table like I was told.

Two forks left, knife right, heart in the center—beating politely, still.

Coherence laced with delirium.

A surreal spine that writhes but holds.

The vessel is never quite right. Too soft. Too breakable. They keep crawling from form to form—new faces, new hearts, new teeth (crooked, sharp, never enough). The world is a haunted museum of discarded selves, and they walk its halls on clockwork legs. You, the viewer, are offered a seat at the dining table. On the plate: the last body. Half-eaten. Still breathing.

The centipede arrived wearing my grandmother’s pearls.

It clacked across the mahogany, a hundred legs like impatient silverware.

Its eyes were convex mirrors, convex memories.

I could see every version of myself inside them. One was bleeding. One was learning ballet. One was dead but smiling.

“Are you here for dinner?” I asked, wringing my napkin into a noose.

It didn’t answer. Just clicked. I took that as a yes.

You are part of a sickeningly sweet program: hugs, treats, smiles. But you’re leaking red syrup down your arms. There’s something wrong under the pastel frosting. Everyone is just pretending not to notice. You wake up with bite marks in your skin that aren’t your own. A roly-poly rolls out of your mouth. Centipedes curl up in the sugar bowl. Maybe the love was never real. Maybe it was. Either way, you’re dessert now.

After coffee, the centipede offered me a tooth.

Not mine, not its.

It pulsed like an idea, raw and waiting.

I swallowed it.

Somewhere in the walls, the machinery began to hum again.

Somewhere in the mirror, my spine curled into question marks.

Elderberry, blueberry, enternal return. ___ was everything. ____ was everything. ___ was everything. Centipedes crawling. Click- clack. Time ticking backwards. Eyes like a clock. Statues driven in arch and stone. Blood on my hands. ____ just shot themselves. ____ was every moment. ___ was every moment. Is that a dismembered body? Asphalt. Iris. It’s a pretty color I can’t describe. Here’s a dining table, here’s my heart on a platter. Venus flytrap. Eat, sleep, eat again. Sickening, sickening behavior. Sick. Sleep. Seethe. Have you hugged ___ today? Did they cut you up like cake? So sweet, my dear saccharine. Sick. Sick. Roly-poly, roll on carpets today. Be still my clockwork heart. Machinery of tickering crickets. Your teeth will never feel sharp enough. One is crooked. There’s a taste of vodka but I never drink. The weakness of ___ is that they think they have and actually believe all the information they receive and react accordingly. Not to brace. To slip down the mirrored staircase before they even realize they’re falling. ___ said they had to abandon their last body because they fell of the stairs and broke their bones. Haha, ___ no longer has any faith in their bones because of the last incident. The vessel is too soft. One orders milkshake the other, diet soda. Hm, ____ believes they have tasted all sorts of exotic mushrooms. Here in the museum where all light is made from your collarbones and the palm of your hand trembling to hold even a shard of the prism. Lately I’ve been waiting for my body, to feel like a body. It is heavy. Will we have anatomy lessons with ____? Hm? ___ have been coughing elderberry on the stage. Guardian¡ Dig deep and delve. 42. Plow with a shovel and hit it back with a tennis racket. 12. Stick and shove. Dig deep. Keep going.

____ was a memory.

____ was everything.

8 - enternal return.

Soup course: regret consommé.

Main course: dream-meat from someone I used to kiss.

Dessert: a single blueberry, floating in milk, whispering the word iris every time I blinked.

They display your ribs as chandeliers. Someone has mistaken your blood for paint and spilled it across the floor in spirals. The curators whisper when they walk. You think they used to be your friends. You think the gift shop is selling your old smile. And in the basement? Well, that’s a secret. Or maybe you knew but buried it deep into the marrow of you bones. Only your blood will, even if you try not to think of it at all. Sickeningly, achingly, sweet.

I set the table like I was told.

The table told me to set myself.

The table set me like each of my organs on a platter.

The spoon cradled my tongue. The knife hummed lullabies to my ribs.

The napkin dabbed at a memory I didn’t remember having.

Each glass raised a toast to a different version of me.

I clinked back, politely.

The menu changed daily, but I was always the entrée.

The soup tasted like apologies. The wine, like regret I hadn’t earned.

The centerpiece was my body, redressed. Sometimes floral. Sometimes seasonal.

I used to think I was the guest.

I used to think I had a chair.

Now I think I am the chair.

Four limbs, upholstered in skin I borrowed from somewhere softer.

“I used to have a body,” I said conversationally, sipping the silence.

The centipede brushed its mandibles with a napkin made from my childhood blanket.

“I used to think time went one way.”

Then my grandfather’s clock started chiming. Huh?

It unhinged its jaw and vomited a staircase.

At the bottom was the gun.

At the top was my name, spelled wrong but ringing true.

The table remembers.

The table remembers.

The table remembers what I forgot to bury.

The table remembers where all my tears had fallen.

It knew me, but I didn’t know _____.

At all.

Yet underneath this lightbulb hanging on this dining table, with each smiles plastered on the guests face, ( Don’t smile. ) it knew me, just as in which placemat was assigned and settled.

“I want to be reborn,” I said.

“You’re too soft,” it said.

We both laughed.

I tried to pray for a new reality.

Father did not answer.

He left me.

Mom, please eat me again.

Succumb for the womb to tomb.

Puke me back out, spill out your guts.

I shall make you proud this time.

The daughter, a marionette.

Her face was disfigured, her skin rotting dull.

From the aching sorrow whelved into the marrow.

To the piercing grief, soiled into their bones.

Uttering whispers, shadows in blisters.

Twisting a bone— crack!

{🗣 By a professional yapper 🎀 featuring me!🫶}

Topic: RPG Game (Genshin Impact) 💫 Mihoyo

Hi! To start this is simply a thought dump, my personal opinion and perspective on this game. Whatever is stated in this excerpt is not meant to offend anyone or start any arguments. Note that this input may be scattered as I haven’t organized this work, my thoughts are all over the place haha so it might not make sense.

Now in my opinion, the story details and progression, including hints and overall game details in Genshin, is astounding! I believe there’s more to pick up and study about, the character design and the relationship between NPCs and each character's hangouts. I don’t understand the statistics and numbers in terms of character building or how the spiral abyss works yet since I have yet to do extensive research and study it. (The numbers low-key burn me out…feels complicated!)

Game Complications 👾

•Content Overload: The sheer volume of content can overwhelm new players, making it difficult to catch up while maintaining character progression.

•Farming Issues: Players often encounter frustrating farming mechanics, where they must repeatedly defeat bosses for insufficient rewards, leading to burnout.

•Limited Replayability: The game lacks meaningful choices and consequences, diminishing replay value. Players feel their actions don’t significantly affect the game world. (I think this changes since the Natlan AQ especially when our choices directly affect the outcome and events in the war, though I haven't played that AQ yet. I do think the Traveler /us players/ make subtle changes within the dialogue and our interference like when disrupting Venti during his meet-up with Dvalin, causing him to be poisoned. Other examples and stuff…)

•Resin System: The resin limit restricts how much players can engage with endgame content, causing frustration over resource management.

Maybe some people are too focused on the rewards and character fanservice or unsatisfied with the current events within this game. (I do understand in relation that customer service and some glitching system errors causing problems, though I’m not fully informed about all the drama or controversies within the fandom and community.)

Here are my notes about several aspects of the game that fans have expressed dissatisfaction with:

•Event Rewards: Recent events, particularly the Lantern Rite festival, have been criticized for offering underwhelming rewards compared to previous years and other games like Honkai: Star Rail.

•Anniversary Celebrations: The lack of substantial giveaways during anniversaries has led to significant backlash, with players feeling neglected and undervalued.

•Endgame Content: Many players are frustrated by the limited endgame content, feeling there is little to do after reaching high Adventure Ranks.

•Character Balance: Complaints about new characters not meeting expectations and perceived power creep among enemies have also been common.

Archive 📖

I think the gameplay mechanisms and stuff in the Archive, particularly books, and descriptions, (weapons and enemies, etc.) have more to it and some statements give out hints. Especially when you talk to NPCs, they refer to particular characters that we have in-game (playable characters) or other people they are with (family members or lovers, connected in lore).

Hierarchy and family connections 🌌

In-game characters and NPC’s from the lore. The organizations, Hexenzirkel, (Alice?? I read through her journal, it was so fun and interesting!), The merchants and nobles of Old Mondstadt (I’m pretty sure there was a book about it in the backpack, Jean Gunnhildr ancestors I think?), the Fautui organization itself, Archons and Heavenly Principles including the Abyss Order. What’s their purpose and motive?

Characters 👥

The character-building and relationships in growing friendship points are nice too. Their backstories and character analysis would be a great study to do, why they choose this route and did this particular decision. (I really wanna look into characters and their actions.)

Reading into dialogues and unlocking friendship stories when you have time to farm and level them up, or just stay and read through very long dialogues would give insight too. (Also perhaps it's better if I read the webtoon for additional information.)

World Building 🌍

We also have the world-building and story plot, in which we have the Archon Quests and Character Hangouts, including the side quests and commissions. Venturing around Teyvat was amazing, collecting materials and learning how to fight against enemies. It would be nice to do a thorough study and read through the tutorials to relearn the basics and use weapons more efficiently, also crafting items.

The references/inspiration from real-world countries and cultural parallels.

•Mondstadt reflects Germany, showcasing themes from German folklore, such as dragon-slaying.

•Liyue is based on China, particularly Hong Kong, incorporating elements of Taoism and Confucianism.

•Inazuma draws from Japan, highlighting themes of civil strife and authoritarian rule reminiscent of historical Japan.

•Sumeru relates to India/Middle East, possibly exploring themes of wisdom and enlightenment.

•Other nations, like Fontaine (France) and Snezhnaya (Russia), are still being analyzed for their cultural parallels.

Something to note about would be the religious implications and hints, I’m not well-versed in religious topics though so that would be a research for another time! Check out mania-sama their post was very insightful and interesting to read.

Instrumental Music OST 🎶

Genshin Impact’s music, composed primarily by Yu-Peng Chen and the HOYO-MiX team, features a blend of orchestral and folk elements tailored to each region’s cultural inspiration.

The soundtracks feature high-quality recordings performed by renowned orchestras, which enhance the game’s immersive experience. Notable albums include The Wind and The Star Traveler and City of Winds and Idylls, both showcasing a variety of themes and styles. The choreography is often linked to character events and animations, enriching gameplay with synchronized movements that reflect the emotional depth of the music.

End notes 📓💖

This would be all for now. I have more to add but this should be enough and I’ll edit this later. I’m not truly well versed in the content and technology of Genshin as a new (?) player. I would like to note I’m not active in playing the game itself nor progression upon current updates as the content has become overwhelming but it is immersive and I love the world of Teyvat. There’s a lot more to discover and learn, hoping to write down and search for more theories too!