#sleeps

I want to be good at the things i want to be good at, especially art. But i can’t do that whenever there’s always someone FUCKING better than me. I want to be them. i NEED to be them. I’m so tired of having such horrible art. I’m so tired of not being good enough. I’m so tired of EVERYTHING.

People never listen to me at all. Anytime i try to talk about something it either just gets ran over or topic changed so quickly. It’s irritating. I feel like no one acknowledges anything about me.

I hate the way how mean people are. I can’t talk at all, i know i’m also very mean myself. But i just can’t with most of my friends, i’m ALWAYS getting insulted all the time, it really irritates me. I can’t act victim, i don’t want to. I’m also a mean person too, i know that. I’m just tired of being called slurs, i don’t wanna go back to school. I hate being freaking hit, name called, or in general bullied everyday. I hate it so much. I hate everyone. I hate my school. I just wanna stay home forever

I want to do the things i wanna do but i can’t??? “You just do lazy ass sketches and color it”, “you don’t even try at all” i do try. I always try, if it SEEMS like i’m not then that really does show something.

i really need to be perfect. i really need to stop talking and disappear for once.