#sleepinsomnia

Ok warning this post is a ramble For the record I'm an insomniac (I have severe sleep insomnia as mentioned. If you want to know the details of what insomnia is I encourage you to look it up or ask me in my ask box more about it) So yesterday I met up with an old friend at her favorite restaurant while visiting my home town and I explaining how I have sleep insomnia which is a sleeping disorder of sorts. I explained how unlike most people insomniacs can't sleep because our brains don't produce a certain chemical that pretty much makes you sleep so it's really hard to get to sleep and when I do get to sleep it's almost always a light restless sleep. After I got done explaining everything she started asking me a bunch of questions like how bad is it, how do you get it, what's longest I've gone without consistent sleep, etc. which I have no problem answering in fact I wanted her to ask questions so she could understand it. So in the middle of our little Q&A this guy walks up to the table we were sitting at and mind you he's a grown man around 40 and maybe 6 foot and he's a pretty big guy probably around 250 pounds, I on the other hand am 16 and around 5' 7" and about 120 pounds. Anyways he comes up to our table and says "sleep insomnia is just excuse for ignorant teenagers like you to complain about not getting sleep because y'all stay up all night on your phones and computers and whatever else you teenagers are into nowadays. Or you use it as an excuse to get ahold of drugs that you can't get otherwise" and it's not what he said that made me mad (I mean yeah I got a little angry from it) I mean I hear that a lot but what pissed me off is the way he said it like I know everything and you can't say anything because you're an ignorant teen. So as calmly as I could I told him that it really was a really disorder that affects millions of people and they aren't just teenagers. There are adults and older people who have it too. I then proceeded to tell him that yes there is prescription drugs that can help you get a good nights sleep but I personally don't like taking them since they make me really groggy and sensitive to touch and light in the morning so I only take them when I absolutely have to and I have no other choice. I don't like the way it makes me feel and personally it makes me have weird dreams but there are people who's insomnia isn't so severe that take smaller dosages who use it on a regular basis. And do you know what this ignorant arrogant ass has he nerve to say to me?! This motherfucker looks down at me in the most condescending way and says you don't know what the fuck you're talking about. You're a lying little bitch that needs to shut her mouth and except that she's wrong and that someone caught you in your little lie. I snapped and told him "you're the one that doesn't know what the fuck they're talking about! You can't come up to me and tell me the disorder that I've been dealing with for over a year now is a fucking lie. Don't fucking look at me and tell me insomnia is fake and not real. I'd like to see your ass deal with severe sleep insomnia for a month and see how fucking fake it is then. I'd like to see you try to fucking sleep then when you can't ion have to fucking lay there in bed waiting for the sun to come up and praying that by some miracle you get just 30 minutes of sleep maybe more if you're lucky. Then I'd like to see you have to get up for school in the morning exhausted because even though you got a little bit of sleep it was restless and just left you feeling even more exhausted and tired than when you feel asleep. I'd like to see you get up for school and have to go through the day and try to push the exhaustion from your mind cause you still have to pay attention in class and get good grades and you still have to go to practice and club meetings and even when you get home and all you want to do is crawl into your bed and sleep you still have to make dinner for you, your mom and your little brother and do your homework, help your brother with his homework, do the chores, and help your mom grade papers and do paper work for the next day so that she doesn't have to stay up until 3 in the morning doing it all herself. I'd like to see you have to fight with your brother to get him to listen to you so he can get in the shower, brush his teeth, and get in bed because your mom is passed out on the couch exhausted from work. And motherfucker I'd like to see you even after doing that every day all week come the end of the week you have to go over to your dads house and have to deal with your bitchy stepmother and spoiled rotten spawns of satan that she calls her children on top of trying to help your dad with work around the house cause he's had an exhausting week at the police department and you feel like he should have to do everything alone since your stepfamily and your brother fucking useless and don't do anything but eat and sleep. Then when it finally comes to be Friday night instead of going out with your friends and having fun you have to double check and triple check if you have anything going on Saturday and by some miracle you don't you then and ONLY then do you allow yourself to take the pill that knocks you out completely cold in less than 15 minutes of taking it. So DO NOT fucking tell me that this fucking sleep insomnia isn't real!" By this point I was standing up yelling and wild hand gestures. When I finished the whole restaurant was quite and he had this shocked look on his face that quickly changed to rage. This motherfucker stepped up to me and said "listen here you stupid little bitch! Shut the fuck up! You're not fucking realizing that all that bullshit is in your fucking head!" I looked him straight in the eye and said in the calmest voice that has ever come out of my mouth "YOU listen here. It is not in my head. That is my reality and obviously you are too stupid to realize what I said was 100% true. So why don't you just go back to whatever you were doing before you came over here and Leave. Us. The. Fuck. Alone." This son of a bitch stepped back and FUCKING SLAPPED ME!!!! My friend grabbed me and held me there while two guys at the bar came over and knocked him to the floor and one of them look at him and said "I can tell you right now that this is not fake. I'm an insomniac as well and mine may not be as bad as hers but I understand how she feels about not wanting to take pill prescribed it. The two men then preceded to drag him out of the restaurant and deposit him on the sidewalk. My friend and I were able to finish our lunch and when I went up to the register to pay for it the guy who also has sleep insomnia told me I didn't need to worry about paying, that he had already paid for it. He then gave me his phone number and told me that he wanted me to text him when I got home to make sure I got there safely.

I'm so bored and tired and bored and don't even know what I'm doing with life...I mean what even...

now I'm not gonna be able to sleep because I'll be trying to figure out who sent me that fucking anon!!!