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Meet some unusual people through IR. Todayâs probably the strangest: Clearly has interesting ideas but implementation is deranged! Hopefully heâll stay Earthside now Aunt Valâs on the case.
First time itâs ever been me say weâre beaten. Dad wouldnât have given up so easy - just couldnât stand everyone fighting. John and Brains triumphed but that wrong callâs gonna haunt me. I shouldâve thought of it.
Spacefaceâs home for checks after being flattened by gravity again. Complains about 1G but reckons he can âfloat offâ 25!
Not supposed to say it but wish he was more comfortable here. I miss him.
You! Whatsyourname, err Bearded chap! Yes you! Get me a pen. Oh alright a tablet then. No no no Iâm not writing, this is a moment of some import and so I need to dictate not faff about with writing like some normal person.
Are you ready? Right then!
THE MEMOIRS OF LANGSTROM FISCHLER, INVENTOR, VISIONARY, LIVING LEGEND.
Yes all of that. Stop interrupting.
THE DAY I BESTED THREE THUNDERBIRDS!!!
Put an exclamation in there. Maybe three. One for each of their broken little ships. Right. Onwards!
Today, I, Langstrom Fischer have conclusively proven the superiority of Langstrom Industries technology over Brainsâ flimsy International Rescue toys.
And! I seized the opportunity to carry out an extensive study of his little space station which, in my expert opinion, is extremely basic. Its dangly cable thingy didnât even have a proper winch so the carrot-topped chap who seems to live up there half-killed himself spinning around and around for no good purpose! I donât call that âsafeâ, Brains. I donât call that âefficientâ. I donât call that âvisionaryâ.
Today is the start of a new era! Langstrom Industries is to press pause on our groundbreaking weather projects and pour all of our cash reserves into creating luxury space apartments. Because the one useful thing Thunderbird Five revealed to me is that the weather UP THERE is ALWAYS sunny.
Thatâll do for now I think. Canât give them too much too soon.
Right, Beardy - press save on that and go get me the number of the local zoo - I have a recruitment exercise to initiate.
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Thunderversary-Rewatch Ranked Tier List (week six)
Featured Episodes:
Skyhook
Under Pressure
Introductory Post here
warning: long post
⨠Skyhook â¨
Oh god. Itâs officially Langstrom Fischler time. This insane inventor with (probably) the second most recognisable voice in the entire series (Do I hear Tycho Reeves?) and the record for the most dangerous rescues ever concocted. Fun Fact: the only brother who doesnât almost die this time is Gordon. Hate that? Youâre welcome. I seriously think Brains deserves a nice, hard liquor after this mess. Heâs earned it.
The âBirds: I suggest you savour this episode, guys, because itâs not often we see TB5 doing the big save at the end of the episode - especially when most the episode takes place on earth and not in space. Apart from Gordon switching out his âBird for a rescue pod, every brother is in his âBird and is a part of the action. 4/7.
The Brothers: Oh, wowâŚfive is a big number, huh? We hardly get any missions were every brother is deployed and on the scene, so this was a real treat. Each one had a role and they executed it the best the could, giving all they had. Though, the reason all of them were necessary is because when Fischler screws up, he always turns it up to 100. Itâs got to be a 5/5.
The Plot: Itâs been 48 hours without a major global emergency, not too shy of the 51 hours record, with Scot realising they havenât been able to just sit around the house like this since they were kids. Even John is free to lounge around the house, though he canât think with all the gravity around him. Up in the space elevator, EOS remarks that she knew he wouldnât last three days on earth. Thereâs a hurricane brewing over the Indian Ocean where CIRRUS (Climate Research of the Upper Stratosphere) is, another project of Langstrom Fischler. EOS thinks Fischler sounds like a challenging humanâŚ(AND SHE COULDNâT BE MORE RIGHT!). It turns out CIRRUS is Thunderbird 5âs closest neighbour, so John checks in to see if everything is okay. Fischler has been able to determine there is, indeed, a storm down there. (Wait a secondâŚCoran from Voltron?!) A big one too. Fischler tells John that his company has just broken the altitude duration record right before heâs swept off the screen entirely, his contraption rising out of the atmosphere with no way of stopping. Looks like a job for International Rescue! CIRRUS Station is rising uncontrollably. CIRRUS usually stays in place due to a balance of hydrogen-filled balloons and downward pushing heliblades, which the electrical storm has shorted out. Without the heliblades, the balloons are pulling CIRRUS upwards. Once the balloons reach critical altitude, theyâl rupture and the station will drop like a rock. Brains remembers that Fischler tends to compromise safety for the sake of pretty much everything. Scott tells Virgil and Gordon to rendezvous with CIRRUS to assist with the fixing of the heliblades whilst heâll follow along in Thunderbird 1. Brains get Fischler to run through some troubleshooting steps, only to realise Fischler has none because heâs an idiot. Thunderbird 2 is a little bit past itâs operational limits but it should hold long enough for the station to be repaired (also, I think Virgil and Gordon are the only ones to call their âBirds âsheâ and I kinda love it). Deploying Dr. Squid MD in a repair pod, they set out to fix the problem, onlyâŚFischler doesnât have any static dampening plates. That means when TB2 tries the steady CIRRUS with its landing struts, the contact will immediately shock the ship and electrify it! Unfortunately, Virgil doesnât heed Brainsâ warning in time and TB2 plummets into the hurricane, the power of a hundred lightning bots directly into itâs systems, rendering them void. Gordon dives down after him in the repair pod and is able to redock, Gordon slaving TB2âs console to his own. Scott declares Virgil a flight hazard now, and TB2 breaks off from the pack.
Scott requests a damage report from CIRRUS, to which Fischler just calls the brothers âInternational Slowcoachâ, much to Scottâs exasperation. The only choice now is evacuation. Brains realises Fischler is dumb enough not to install any escape pods and tells him not jump or the gale force winds will tear him to pieces. Scott has matched CIRRUSâ position, Brains 99% sure TB2 already absorbed all the static charge, meaning Scott can come aboard. But the gale force winds soon knock Scott from CIRRUS and he has the retreat back to TB1. The air is getting too thin, and which TB1âs engines stalling, Scott has to break off from CIRRUS. CIRRUS is at 100 kilometres and rising, its balloons filled with super-hot hydrogen ions - meaning the balloons wonât just burst, theyâll explode. Itâs time from Thunderbird 3 to be deployed, Brains explaining to Alan that he needs to come from below and pull CIRRUS downward so those balloons donât explode. TB3 successfully attaches itâs grappling arms to CIRRUS, able to reduce itâs altitude until the heliblades detach, leaving CIRRUS ascending even higher and Alan stuck with the heliblades, a broken grapple arm and a botched engine. Even TB3 is out of the running, with seemingly no hope for Fischler and co. CIRRUS is in orbit and the space rocket canât do a thingâŚbut maybe the space station can! Since Thunderbird 5 has powerful thrusters, it can slingshot to a position above CIRRUS and use the space elevatorâs cable and mooring claw to latch onto the station. Once the balloons burst, he can over it to the ground - simple physics. Brains is unsure, knowing the cable for the space elevator was never want to hold that kind of weight, but John and the others have faith. EOS dumps all non-essential weight out the cargo bay, even her spare processors, and the race is on. John slingshots himself to position above CIRRUS as the balloons begin bursting, CIRRUS beginning to drop from space. John extends the cable, the claw successfully grabbing CIRRUS. John is prepared to lower the station back to the ground but the hurricane has doubled in size, the only option being to lift the station up to TB5. How, might you ask? By using his âBirds as the reel on a fishing rod! What?! (How do these boys come up with the craziest fixes?!) The only problem, the gravity in TB5 is increasing, the ship and John having to take on extra strain as the âBird is losing its orbit. CIRRUS is successfully pulled out of orbit, but John is still struggling with the gravity. Fortunately, heâs able to get TB5 to stop spinning and ensures that CIRRUS doesnât slam right into it, saving Fischler and the crew. Scott says that was just about the slickest manoeuvre anyoneâs ever seen and Fischler ambles his way through the airlock, saying heâs going to build a space station and replace all his staff with monkeys. Oh boyâŚat least IR are able to revoke Fischlerâs âSpace Operations Permitâ. The episode ends with John begging for someone to get that man off his âBird before he has a sudden, unexplained airlock failure. This episode is great because it really highlights the real issue - that the first fix wonât always work, or the second or even the third. Itâs a great display of the high-intensity situations people in the rescue and relief business have to face every day, even if it an includes a solution impossible in todayâs age. That, and we get Scott and Brains suffering because of Fischlerâs idiocy, which always means weâre getting a good episode, itâs an 8/10 here.
The Stakes: Of course, itâs a given that when Fischler is involved, the stakes are stupidly high. This time - itâs literally! Over 100 kilometres high! Those balloons could have burst - and exploded within the atmosphere, setting CIRRUS ablaze and plummeting to the ground. And then he gets himself and his crew into space. Thatâs not even considering he has no: escape pods, restart function, slow release valves, or even a damn parachute. Not to mention: The only brother who didnât nearly die this episode was Gordon! Virgil and TB2 were shocked with electricity and almost plummeted into the hurricane, if Scott hadnât grappled onto TB1 in time he wouldâve fallen down into the hurricane, Alan lost control of TB3 and almost fell out of orbit, and then the gravity on TB5 almost crushed John to death AGAIN. (Honestly, with the amount of beatings Gordon has gone through even those heâs been in five out of the eleven episodes so far, Iâd say things are finally evening out for him.) We almost lost every airborne IR craft and four brothers in the span of twenty minutes. I hope someone like Fischler never exists by the time we reach 2060 guys! 9/10.
The Side-Characters: Oh dear. Oh god. Do we have to talk about this guy? Though heâs infuriating, Fischler is also - dare I say it - pretty damn funny. Especially when even mild-mannered Brains is giving him what-for. That being said, this man has no concept of safety. Not because he doesnât know what safety is, but because he doesnât see the point in itâŚeven though he almost just died an insane death. This was his introductory episode, an insight to what weâll be seeing from him in the future, and wellâŚhe doesnât disappoint on that front. You guys like stakes? Watch out for the episodes with this guy because weâre just getting started. 4/5.
The Badass: Gordon saving Virgil and TB2 from becoming a dark spot of the floor was great. And then we get Scott slingshotting himself into a category 5 hurricane was very cool, even if he has no concept of just how insane that was. And then, him saving himself with his grapple when he topples over the edge. And we canât forget John âslickest manoeuvre everâ Tracy. I also think Brains constantly berating Fischler is so out of pocket for how he usually is, that it counts as Brains being a badass. So, itâs a 7/10.
None of the three bonus categories were applicable for this episode. 0/3.
With all these criteria considered, Skyhook scores aâŚ
⨠37/50 â¨
⨠Under Pressure â¨
OH MY GOD! I forgot what this episode was about, so imagine my shock when I see my main man Ned Tedford and our favourite geranium Gladys! They've changed professions and are now working under water, but of course something goes wrong. Luckily Virgil's brought the Squid along to rescue this duo!
The 'Birds: So, SOMEONE complained that I include FAB1 as part of this category even though itâs an IR vehicle, so, Iâve unfortunately decidedâŚIâm still going to include it! Am I being petty? Yeah. But itâs still a 3/7.
The Brothers: I think the two characters we see together the most are Gordon and Virgil, since Thunderbird 2 usually transports Thunderbird 4 where it needs to go, and that Gordon has a pretty interchangeable role when thereâs no water-related rescue to go on. They also have the best banter - the the jokester and the unamused. Itâs a 2/5.
The Plot: No more asteroid mining for Ned and Gladys, this duo have relocated to the depths of the ocean rather than the depths of space. Cleaning up pollution from the bottom of the ocean actually sounds great too! Until drama strikes, that is. Thereâs a fire in compartment 4 and Ned is only, I dunno, hundreds of feet deep in the water with nowhere to go. That, and now the Heavy Metal Extraction Platform heâs supposed to be controlling seems to be driving itself, oh, and the water pressure means the glass could crack and drown him at any moment. Jeez, give these two a holiday, wouldja?! John contacts Gordon and Virgil who are happy to tackle this situation, warning them that if the platform breaks apart, so will the tanks holding the poisonous cargo. Meanwhile, John contacts Hydrexler, the company responsible for the platform Ned is manning. The CEO of Hydrexler, Hector Ambro, seems very keen on getting the cargo back more than Ned and that makes John suspicious. Gordon is also suspicious, so suspicious, he calls in Lady Penelope. Her Father is one of Hydrexlerâs investors, meaning it wonât be too out of the ordinary if she were to visit. Coming up on their approach, itâs time for Thunderbird 4 to launch and pay Ned a visit. Ned wants the âhot-shot kidsâ who helped him before but still gives Gordon his status. In other words, he needs rescuing now! Gordon tries everything to clam Ned down and it works. A little bit, anyway. The platform stops moving, meaning itâs lost even more power, but Gordon still floods the compartments and successfully puts out the fire. But that wasnât a great idea. With the water pumps inoperable, thereâs no way for him to get past the flooded compartment. And now the platform has started moving of itâs own accord again! The platform is veering off-course and heading for a cliff. Back with the London Duo, Penelope is conversing with Ambro via hologram and getting more suspicious of him by the minute. Even stranger, Hydrexlerâs state-of-the-art processing facility is just a warehouse belonging to a different company, a water treatment plant called Clearwater3000. John knows that there was something off about the initial transmission, a processing algorithm that makes John believe the person theyâve been looking at isnât who they say they are. And thereâs only one person with tricks like that: The Hood. With that, some men on bikes intend to run FAB1 off the road, but theyâve made a grave mistake: underestimating Parker.
Back underwater, Virgil has the idea to âfishâ Ned out by using TB2âs grappling cable. Gordon uses a laser cutter to server the operatorâs compartment from the rest of the platform, Virgil collecting Ned and bringing him to safety. With that out of the way, their attention is turned to the toxic waste the platform is carrying, the potential spill being a global catastrophe. FAB1 is still being chased by The Hoodâs cronies, Parker pulling out every trick in the book as Sherbet loses his mind. The platform is still driving itself towards the cliff, with Gordon attempting to sever its cargo away so itâs doesnât spill out into the ocean. The water pressure is beginning to make the cargo rupture, and if the platform isnât separated in time, it will fall down the cliff and take Thunderbird 2 with it! With FAB1 still being chased, it takes throwing the car off a cliff and activating its flight mode to get the upper hand. Gordon finally severs the platform from its toxic cargo but TB4 is still clamped to the platform. Luckily, Gordon is able to get free! Back on Tracy Island, Penelope debriefs the gang on Clearwater3000, the plant being filled with toxic waste containers. The Hoodâs plan was to secretly contaminate the drinking water supply then charge a fortune to clean it up - a classic get-rich-quick scheme. Virgil has managed to get Ned and Gladys a nice, safe desk job as the GDFâŚwhich actually turns out to be flying a plane. Poor Ned, this guy will never catch a break! The plot for this episode was very good. You get a Virgil and Gordon rescue with their classic banter, ample Ned Tedford time and a London Duo side plot. Personally, I wish the London Agents and The Hood had been more involved, but weâll get plenty of that later on. 6/10.
The Stakes: Its important to remember that if the initial accident with the platform hadnât occurred, The Hood would have contaminated the drinking water then charge a large price to clean it up. That being said, itâs never specified what drinking water source or how much of it, but from how John said it we can assume itâs a lot. If this had happened, it would have been cleaned up eventually. But, instead, we get a chance that the toxic waste would have spilled underneath the ocean, creating what Gordon called âa global catastropheâ. The we get to what Ned went through and how he couldâve been lost: the platform lost its pressure regulation and - worst of all, its life support. No matter what, without the intervention of IR, water around the world would have become polluted, putting people, animals and wildlife all at risk and caused irreparable damage to the worldâs ecosystem. 8/10.
The Side-Characters: Guess whoâs back? Our main G: Gladys! Oh, and Ned too. Thereâs no such thing as a bad episode (except that one from season 2, but we donât talk about that one) but this is the weakest episode that centres around Ned. But thatâs good! Because you know when you see him again, youâre getting something great! One thing is that Ned is certainly more grateful for this rescue, having been in such a situation before. Sure, he panics and snarks a bit, but who wouldnât in a life-threatening situation? Ned and Gladys get a 3/5.
The Badass: The side-plot with the London Duo is as badass as it gets. Parker spares no expense to get The Hoodâs masked men off of FAB1âs tail, from throwing out spikes to using a turbo engine, to even throwing the entire thing off a cliff. And, of course, Penelope managing to both threaten people and stay classy whilst she does it is something we all love. Still, this part only took up about five minutes of the episode at most, and whilst the brothers were very heroic, what they were doing wasnât âbadassâ, if you get what I mean? 4/10 for Sherbet threatening to bite a guy.
One of our bonus categories was indeed applicable this time: poor Sherbet seems to get very antsy when his ride is being chased by masked assailants. 1/3.
With all these criteria considered, Under Pressure scores a...
⨠27/50 â¨
⨠Tune in next week for the next round of sciencey deduction for the: Thunderversary-Rewatch Ranked Tier List â¨