It was like two in the fucking morning or something. Maybe earlier. Guzma didnāt know. It was still dark out and the mansion was quiet, that was the only thing that was certain; that, and that horrible growling noise. Fuck, could Pancake snore. Did they make nasal strips for pokemon? Maybe he should get Pancake some. That would solve like seventy-three of his current problems. Wait, no. That wasnāt Pancake. The growling came again, accompanied by a small pang in Guzmaās stomach.
Oh.
That made more sense.
Blearily, Guzma rolled himself off the mattress and onto the floor, where he laid for another minute before processing where heād gotten himself to. Eventually he managed to push himself to his feet, and groping blindly, he found his way to the closet and threw on a shirt before stumbling out of his room and tripping his way inconspicuously down the stairs. He needed a snack. He needed a snack bad.
He probably stubbed his toes once or twice on the way into the kitchen trying to be a hard boy who didnāt need no lights at night, but the only evidence he had of that was the oddly sudden aching in them and the fact that he just mastered teleportation and was suddenly in the kitchen so there must have been some weird shit in the middle of all of that. Frankly, he blamed the floors. They were uneven. And dumb. Either way, he made it to the kitchen. Somehow. It was too early for this shit. But he was hungry.
It took him a few seconds to realize the fridge didnāt light up when he opened the door, but when it finally registered he let out a long, defeated groan. Dammit. They needed to get a generator or something. This was starting to get ridiculous. He reached in and grabbed the milk gallon; shit, there was still like half this crap left. Popping the lid off, he took a whiff, and while it probably didnāt have long to live, it still smelled..... nonlethal. And he wasnāt about to let this shit go to waste. Time to chug some milk. It was incredibly early in the morning. He was allowed to make bad decisions like this.
Heād just finished pouring himself a bowl of Trix and had sat at the kitchen table to relax, leaning back into his chair with feet firmly on the table itself, when he heard footsteps approaching. āCanāt sleep?ā he called out, ādonāt bother with the lights. Come have some milk, itās fuckinā good for you.ā
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{Your answer to the phone as was too cute and it inspired me so enjoy this quick doodle of Guzmaās phone. I assume this is what you ment by his numskulls hehe. I included the two grunts in the group as their face claims~}
//omg this is perfect thank you so much for drawing this!!! this is exactly what i meant haha even when guzmaās trying to be a hard boy he loves his grunts <3 he would keep this as his phones background forever lol
//Guzma doesnāt let people on his phone; itās both his nicest and his most prized possession, and he has as many grunt phone numbers as he can crammed into his contact list. It doesnāt get data, though, and heās not usually around anywhere with WiFi, so heās never downloaded any special wallpaper for his phoneās background.
//Thatās okay, though. Heās pretty sure he prefers to see all his little numskulls when he unlocks the screen.
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