#skds

"The assassin department looked like more fun," that's what Nagumo said when he was asked why he switched from the spy department; raised by a family of spy, it makes sense why someone would say that being an assassin is fun as if it's just a trivial thing. Though currently we don't know anything about his family, whether he had a choice of choosing a normal life before he moved in the assassin department--that's all the reason he has (at least openly) besides whatever the former organization deemed good, he'd do his job. Until he met Sakamoto and Rion. While he remained doing his job all the same, he wouldn't be after what happened.

"Wasn't friendship its own miracle, the finding of another person who made the entire lonely world seem somehow less lonely?"

"But love cracked me open." And, "there she was, for a short lifetime then gone, I loved her before I had a name for it."

How was it I only became alive when death arrived for the first time in my life?

"I'll have to remember you for longer than I knew you, and I don't think I'll ever come to terms with that."

unfortunately, we barely have anything abundant from nagumo, so this is just me making the most out of him and especially his grief over rion. i might just be reading too much into it but...yeah.

part II | part III | again, maybe i'm just reading into it too much, this is objective but also subjective, so sue me if you don't like it

Hellooo,,,

I’m a baby stay and I’ve just joined the fandom veryy recently. And may I just say, I REEALLLYY like it here lmao

Some basic facts

My bias is Hyunjin and my possible wrecker is Bang Chan. My favorite song is “Miroh,” my favorite choreo is “God’s Menu,” and my favorite performance is their cover of “Fancy.”

Anyways I just want to make some mutuals, some stay friends. ahaha

I read fics, reblog pics, stuff like that.

What I’ve come to realize is that to prevent this from happening, love must remain in motion. It must flow, even when the beloved — the person, place, or time passed long ago — is no longer there. How, then, do we keep this love flowing? One way is to allow ourselves to remember without resistance. Write about them. Create in their honor. Weave their presence into your days not as shadows, but as light that lingers.

For love, when kept alive, cannot rot. It will ripple through you, through others, through rooms of space and the fabric of time, endlessly becoming."

"If I tend generously to my grief, it treats me well in return." Everything this is, Nagumo is not, rather 'tainted by greedy sorrow'.

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐔𝐧𝐢𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦 𝐁𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐚 𝐕𝐞𝐢𝐥 𝐭𝐨 𝐖𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐇𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐜 𝐭𝐨 𝐒𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐇𝐢𝐬 𝐌𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬

"You were destined for me. Perhaps as a punishment." No amount of desensitization can numb him as he so always pretend.

"Tell me where to put the anger." Revenge is not too different from lawful consequence if the blade is wielded with driven wrath.

We already know he's always the one to joke around no matter how serious the situation is, hiding behind that jester facade, always calm despite whatever he's feeling. But when Rion died that only got worse, we don't even know if he actually ever grieved her or just left it in the back of his mind, haunting him. He also kept Kindaka alive ever since that incident, seeing that man every time he visited, naturally brought up memories more than he always thought about her, everything before it all went to shit. Though he remained in the dark of what really happened, he may already have been completely filled with rage to even care about the truth, hence

"Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from the inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do to ourselves."

He found out too late. How horrifying it is to see a clear trace of your friend that continues to haunt you in the body of who killed her. Where all he wanted to was kill him, instead he was faced further with the torture of his misery. And for a moment, for just a mere moment, he allowed himself a bit of light in. Only to keep going the only way he knows how.

"I feel it's my anger that has helped keep me alive."

"I don't know how to stay tender with this much blood in my mouth."

Bound to his duties is the only way he knows how to face all the misery he carries; violence.

metamorphesque // Hanif Abdurraqib // Fyodor Dostoevsky // rbhvleo // Mitch Albom // Audre Lorde // Emma Tranter

"Shame is what I carry with me everywhere."

"There's just something obvious about emptiness even when you try to convince yourself otherwise."

"You will never be clean from sin. Rotten children don't deserve heaven. There is no god who could give you your purity back."

"The shame of being seen consumes me." "To feel anything deranges you. To be seen feeling anything strips you naked."

"Can you imagine a silence so desperate to be heard?"

"I have found both freedom and safety in my madness; the freedom of loneliness and the safety from being understood."

unknown // Sarah Dessen // unknown // Cynthia Cruz // Anne Carson // Richard Jackson // Kahlil Gibran