#situationship!will

In which you can’t let go of a situationship gone bad with a your colleges star hockey player

Notes: Baby’s first fic!! I’m actually unsure if this is any good, I haven’t written in the longest time! Very poorly proofread too, sorry xxxxxxx

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You laid spread out in your bed, your tank top twisted around your body as you contorted yourself to find any sense of comfort. You let out a whine of protest and hoisted yourself up onto your forearms, the plush sheets formed around you, which finally gave you just an inch of comfort. It lasted all of two seconds until you stared at the familiar indent of wills body on the right side of your bed.

You reached your hand out, smoothing over the sheets that were still warm despite his absence. You grabbed your phone from beside you typing a few measly words.

“Maybe we would be better off as friends?”

Those few measly words took a lot more courage to type out than you thought. Just ten minutes ago, you were making out on the very bed you were laid across, and now, you’d never be able to feel his lips on yours again. You chewed on your nail, analysing the text. Quickly, you hit the send button and threw your phone across your bed.

You and will had been doing this casual thing for four months now, and it was almost laughable how serious you were about the whole arrangement. You’d started off as mutual friends, but you knew you were gone from the moment he’d said ‘I’m not looking for anything right now.’ It was fun for the first two months, there were movie nights, and late night drives. The two of you talked about everything and nothing, and for a short lived moment of hope, you’d thought that maybe this could go somewhere. Until the three month mark broke and will began to shut down, he left your ‘movie night?’ texts unanswered, and he arranged Ubers just minutes after he’d finished up with you.

You clung to will on the off chance that maybe one night, he’d look down at you and realise that casual might not be enough for him. You’d given away your dignity for a moment of love to a boy who wouldn’t even look your way twice. You needed him like a smoker needed cigarettes, you knew he couldn’t fix anything, but you craved him anyway.

You were pulled out of your thoughts when you heard a soft tapping at your door. You rubbed your hands over your eyes and slowly slid off your bed and padded over to the front door of your dorm.

You were surprised to see will standing on the other-side. Your brows raised at his winded state, he was breathing heavy and his hair looked like it had been blown into a messy shag resting on the top of his head. Had he ran here on the way back to his dorm? He wouldn’t have been far off to begin with.

“Y/n.”

“Why are you back?”

“You just sent me that text? You didn’t think I’d want to talk about it?” His tone was low and raspy, ready to snap at you if you slipped up.

“I didn’t realise it’d be that big of a deal.” You crossed your arms over your chest, staying wedged in your doorway. You didn’t want to let him in, because if you did, you knew that he wouldn’t come back out.

“Well it is a big deal. Why?”

You shook your head, not knowing what to say to that. How can you tell him that you can’t continue to be his booty call because you crave his attention like an addict? “I— I don’t know. I just— I don’t…”

“Y/n. Cut the bullshit, just— fuck.”

He leant in, his movements sharp as he pulled you in close to his face. “You don’t want this anymore?” His voice was low, eyes flickering wildly between your lips and eyes.

Your voice turned quiet, the type of tone that he’d really have to strain to hear. “Will. What is this—“

You were cut off by his lips on yours. It wasn’t the kind of kisses he usually treated you to. It was sweet, slow and he moved his other hand up to cup both of your cheeks. He pulled back after a couple of seconds, staring at you with a small smile on his face. Your heart immediately sped up, and you glanced away from him to try and hide your very obvious blushing cheeks.

You woke up the next morning with wills arm lazily draped over your waist. Somehow, he’d coaxed his way back to you. Just last night, you were ending it for good, and will broke through your weak demeanour by rationing a little bit of his attention to you.

Your chest ached with guilt as you turned your head to face wills sleeping form. You knew this wasn’t good for you, you hated how easily he could get you crawling right back to him. You felt ridiculous, carrying around these feelings that had nowhere to go. Sending the text was hard enough in the first place, how are you supposed to leave him now that he’s already over?

You watched as the blonde boy stirred, he blinked a few times before staring back at your sitting form. He didn’t have the same love-struck expression from last night. You knew he was checked out again, because he immediately got up from bed, searching for his discarded shirt on the floor whilst mumbling a lousy ‘morning’ with his back turned to you. He quickly rattled off excuses about an early practice and scrambled out of your door without sparing a glance your way. The last words he uttered to you was something along the lines of:

“Maybe the friend’s thing is a good idea.”

You stared at the closed door ahead of you, your eyes wide and wanting. You felt pathetic.

It had been a week since you’d last spoken to will. Since then, you’d drowned yourself in assignments and studying. You barely left your dorm in the daylight except for your lectures and extracurriculars, and you jumped at the chance of any of your friends who invited you for a night out.

On this particular morning, the crisp Boston air blew the leaves around and caused goosebumps to form under your sweater. You were clad in many layers as you warmed your hands up on your fresh takeaway coffee. You walked across campus, just trying to make it to your lecture block. You were about five minutes away as you noticed the familiar locks of blonde hair coming straight in your direction.

You lifted your head, placing a small smile on your face. You swayed your hips with every step and you adjusted your posture as will neared. You walked past him, flashing him a smile and getting ready to stop, but as you paused your walking, he pushed straight past you. He didn’t look at you, he didn’t even bear to take a breath as he walked past. You stood staring at his retreating form, your shoulders now lacking the perfect posture you’d aligned them to. You gulped down the lump in your throat and shook your head, refusing to stare at the back of his head for any longer.

The rest of the walk to class consisted of you with a very obvious frown on your face and dragging your heels along the leaf-covered pavement. You tried to muster up any explanation on why he’d done what he did. Was he giving you the silent treatment? Was he really mad at the suggestion of the two of you being purely platonic? You decided to not overthink it, and you were certain to win him back.

The whole week of you being away from him was agonising. He’d become such a regular part of your routine and the withdrawal of his random texts and lingering cologne drove you insane. You needed him. You’d decided that you would prefer to have three short hours of fleeting happiness instead of three long months pretending like he doesn’t exist.

The bass rattled around you as the house vibrated with the lively world of the ongoing party. You were stood in the corner, a half full red solo cup clad in your hand as you readjusted your dress for the forty third time in the two hours you had been here. You watched from the sidelines as people moved around on the dance floor. Shitty strobe lights shon onto the partygoers as they grinded and sweat together. You sighed, trying to find your friends in the sea of people. You spotted a head of blonde hair, but quickly realised it was will. You sighed, watching him as he guided a brunette through the shimmying bodies.

Your gut twisted with a pang of jealousy. The girl looked nothing like you. Your features could not be any more different. God, when he called you pretty did he even mean it?

You quickly gave yourself a mental slap. You were the one who wanted to end things. You need to stop—

You watched as he pulled her closer, protecting her from any unknown dangers from the drunks surrounding them. You watched the way that he looked at her, or rather, the way he had never looked at you. You’d left the situationship that made you feel crazy, and you were moping while he was very quickly moving on without a thought about you to spare.

Your time at the party quickly came to an end after seeing him. You’d shoved your cup into some random guys hand and stormed out of the dumb party as fast as you could.

It had only been a day since you’d watched Will getting comfy with another girl, and now, you found yourself on his doormat, knocking very loudly on his apartment door.

The door quickly swung open, and wills eyes widened at the sight of you standing infront of him.

“Oh—“

“The fucks your problem?”

He stared at you blankly, clearly unknowing to why you were stood infront of him and cussing him out.

“I send that text, you makeout with me and then stay over and then say ‘oh yeah we should be friends,’” you put a high pitched voice on to try and mock him, which gets you an amused look in return. “Then you just completely ghost me—“ his smirk is now unashamedly smeared on his face, “this isn’t fucking funny.”

He barked out a laugh he seemed to be holding in for your whole monologue. “Y/n, go home.”

“No. I’m not gonna go home. Will, I can’t do this. I don’t like not being around you. I can’t stand watching your life from the sidelines without being apart of it.” You shake your head, running your hands through your hair. “I don’t even need to be your fucking sneaky link, I just like being friends.”

He stared at you, his smile now disappearing from his face. You’d laid it out for him, you told him that you needed him, and it had left the boy speechless. Will opened his mouth to speak but quickly shut it. Then, after a few seconds of silence he finally answered you. “We can’t just be friends, y/n. That’s the problem. You get too attached.”

You sigh, staring back at him. Your eyes pricked with teardrops as you bit your lip to stop yourself from crying. You said you were done, just a week ago, you were ready to end this all. Now you’re just confused, how are you supposed to leave him now when you still need the closure? “Fine.” You said, your voice bordering on a sharp tone as you stormed away. You heard the door slam shut behind you, and finally you let the tears fall.

You jolted from your idle position at the sound of a text notification that filled your once silent room. You stared at the ceiling for a little longer before leaning on your side, curious to see who was texting you at this hour of the night.

‘r u awake ??’

You stared at his contact name, debating whether this was a good idea or not. It’d been a month. A long, excruciating month of pretending that Will never mattered to you, as if you didn’t think about him every night. You knew it was a bad idea to go back, you’d dig yourself into a deeper hole and from then on, you’d be tied to a friends with benefits situation for the rest of your life.

There was no leaving will smith, which was quickly proven by your reply back.

‘Yup come over’

You stare at the door, waiting for his arrival. You like your bed, but it likes him too. You watch as the hinges squeak open, and see the familar boy standing in the middle of your room.