#sisuoyd

“Luna, you don't even have a dad,” Jo said as she signed no dad to her with one hand as she shook her head. “You’re just repeating what Scout says to Uncle Link.”

“Luna Dada,” Luna said as she signed tiny moon, her sign name that was given to her by her Deaf sign language teacher, and Dada in between her giggles. Her smile was shining so bright in the early morning sunshine. 

“You're not dada either, you're just Luna,” Jo said, as she signed her name, but she couldn't help but join her daughter's giggles as she tickled her stomach. “Alright let's get Ms. Luna to daycare.”

Jo walked into the lobby and turned the corner as they were greeted with the morning crowd as they started work. Nurses started their shifts and doctors started their rounds as interns ran in between them. However, there was someone else in the lobby. Webber and Altman were standing together and talking, which wasn't unusual, but there was someone else with them. Someone dressed in a suit, but a pair of old dark loafers. His hair was peppered with gray now and his beard was a little fuller, but he was the same man she knew. He was the same man she had loved. 

“Alex.” 

His name fell from her lips like a whispered prayer as she froze and stared at him. 

Of course, he still heard her across the crowded lobby. Or maybe he felt her eyes or her presence, she didn't know. He was always able to tell when she was close to him. Alex turned and stared at her. For a moment it was just the two of them in the lobby, staring at each other. 

“Dada!” Luna signed with a shriek as she pointed at him and wiggled in Jo's arms. 

Jo was so frozen, so caught in the moment that she didn't fully realize what she was doing as she leaned down and let Luna go. The little girl shot across the lobby and straight into Alex's arms. 

She hugged him as if she knew him and settled into his arms babbling and signing. “Dada, dada!”

Jo had a picture of Alex and herself on their wedding day in her nightstand. It was the one she gave him when he became chief. Webber had given it back to her when he cleaned out Alex’s office. She didn’t have the heart to throw it out, nor keep it far from her. Luna had gone hold of it a couple of days ago and ever since she had refused to part with it. It was to the point where Jo had to sneak it away from her, take it out of the frame, and have it laminated, lest Luna ruin it. She slept with it and played with it and babbled to the picture. Although she called Jo, Mama, and to Alex's picture she just babbled 'ow-ex' and waved around the sign of the letter A in place of his name.

Jo knew she shouldn't have let Luna see the picture, much less play with it. She should have shut it the way and locked the drawer, but a part of her wanted her daughter to know Alex. In case he came back, in case she needed him, in case Luna needed him. He was her third option as a godparent after Link and Meredith. Somewhere in the place she hoped he would never need to be. Yet, here he was, holding her daughter.

Alex looked equally as surprised at the toddler in his arms. Although he held her like a seasoned dad. Luna hugged him. She wrapped her arms around him and laid her little head on his shoulder, still babbling and signing to him. Alex just looked over at her, in disbelief as their brown eyes met for the first time. 

“Dada,” Luna babbled and Alex looked at her again. 

“Hey, sweet girl? Am I your Dad?” Alex asked, looking at Luna in disbelief. 

It was then that reality came crashing back into her. Jo rushed over to them and scooped Luna out of his arms. Before Alex could say anything else she retreated down the hall. She whipped around the corner and didn't realize she was running until she had to stop and catch her breath. Then she went into the daycare and dropped Luna off. 

Jo took a moment to hug her daughter, holding her close. “Goodbye, my sweet girl.”

“Bye-bye Dada,” Luna said instead of “bye-bye mama.” She waved to her before she ran off to play with Allison and Jo let it go without correcting her. 

Jo walked out of daycare and paused in the hallway for just a second. She couldn't believe that Alex thought that Luna was his. Although she had to admit Luna looked a lot like Amber did as a toddler. Even Alex had light brown hair until it turned darker. Both Helen and Amber had the same blue eyes and those blue eyes ran in Jo's family too. 

And then she smiled. Alex thought that Luna was his and it was the funniest thing in the world. She burst out laughing. Alex really thought that she was pregnant, had their secret baby, and kept her from him. He was probably freaking out right now and it was the funniest thing in the world. Because for now, Alex was feeling exactly what she felt when he left. It was karma coming back to him and she laughed because he deserved this. Besides Webber and Teddy would tell him Luna was adopted before he spiraled too far and probably already had. 

But he panicked for a minute and it made her smile. She looked back and heard Luna signing Dada to her daycare teacher as they signed back to her. Then she walked back up to the OB's resident’s lounge to get ready. It was going to be an interesting day. 

……………………………………………………………………

Alex stood there in silence for a moment. He could still feel Luna in his arms as the weight of the little toddler haunted him. Her brilliant blue eyes and a dazzling smile flashed before his eyes. The feel of her little blonde pigtails still tickled his cheek and her voice and her signs echoed in his ears. Jo had their daughter. She had his daughter. He had a daughter. They had a daughter. A beautiful and giggling tiny toddler who smiled like her mother and laughed like he did. Then all of a sudden she was gone as Jo took her and ran. He remembered the electricity he felt as she touched him. Then it was all gone. Now he was back to staring at a sea of nurses at the hospital. 

“Karev,” Weber's voice brought him out of his head as he looked back at them. 

“Jo had our daughter?” Alex said in disbelief, mostly to himself. 

“No, that's Luna, Jo's adopted daughter,” Teddy tried to clarify with a gentle hand on his arm.

“Oh really because that little girl looks exactly like Amber did when she was a toddler,” Alex said and he quickly pulled up a photo of his sister. 

She was twenty-five now but still had the same blonde hair and blue eyes that Luna had. He showed the picture to Weber and Teddy as both of them looked at each other then back at the picture then back at him. “We're either of you around the time that Jo gave birth.”

“Look, Karev, it's not possible,” Teddy said with a shake of her head. “Luna was born by a C-section at 26 weeks. She was on the patient's liver from her birth mom and didn't make it and it wasn't until weeks after that Jo decided to adopt Luna.”

“However, Wilson was always very interested in the girl and kept an eye on her from the start,” Weber admitted, and Teddy nodded in agreement. 

“Did Jo miss work, even for a day around that time,” Alex asked looking as both of them paused.

“To be honest we were kind of confined to our own little pods, but Wilson did miss a few days of work around that time. She didn’t have covid, but I can’t remember why she called out. I'd have to double check the dates but…” Webber said as he rubbed his beard. 

That was all the proof Alex needed as he quickly rushed away. He knew there were two people Jo would tell if she did have his kid. One of them would actually talk to him, thus he took a slight detour and went to see Meredith. However, before heading up to the surgical wing, he snuck around to the daycare. Alex peaked through the window into the toddler room and he saw Luna playing with the stacking cups. She stacked a few cups only to knock them down and shriek with delight before building them up again. Her little blonde pigtails shook with her body and her smile was so big. She was a beautiful little girl and so full of life and giggles. It reminded him of how happy and giggly Jo was when she was excited. 

She signed to another child, turning her head and he saw the hearing aids in her ears. He knew she had some hearing as she talked to him. He thought of everything Jo had to go through without him. Watching their babies struggle in the NICU, Sleepless nights with a cranky baby, getting the diagnosis about their daughter's hearing, and chasing after a rambunctious toddler all on her own. She had done everything alone when he was just a phone call away. 

Luna, he was surprised that Jo picked that name. Jo had always favored older and family names. She said if they had a daughter she wanted to name her Helen or Elana, after his mom and Ms. Schmidt. She also liked the names, Eden and Laurel. She hated names like Banks and Locklyn. Luna wasn't even on her list but as he looked at the little girl now he could not imagine another name for her. She was as beautiful as the moon and as bright as it was. He knew that she was Jo's light in her darkest nights. He could only imagine what she looked like when she was born, even a 26-week-old preemie was the tiniest of joys. Luna was already a toddler, walking, talking, and signing, with a full personality of her own. He couldn't believe he missed so much of her life already. 

“Hey!” Link's harsh voice caught him off balance as he looked over to see him coming out of the daycare. “You shouldn't be here.”

“I just wanted to see her,” Alex said, looking back at Luna again.

However, Link physically stepped in his way, pushing him away from the window. “Not until Jo says you can. Now you need to go.” 

Alex knew that Link would stay there until he left, so he did. It only took him a couple of minutes to get up to Meredith’s office. Although she had stepped down from being chief of surgery, she was still chief of general surgery and had taken over Bailey’s old office as a parting gift. 

He walked into the familiar office and stood at the door as memories of Jo flooded into his mind. Memories of her and him sitting on the couch discussing the time his dad left him in a bar. Memories of her sitting in his lap at his desk chair telling him to come home and do newlywed things with him. Memories of them arguing and kissing before getting caught by the nurses as they made out. 

But it wasn't the same room. It was filled with touches of Meredith's decorating all around the room as well as her messy tendencies. For a second it was comforting not to have to be overwhelmed with those memories, but sad that it was truly gone. His time at the hospital was almost completely erased.

“Hey, you're here,” Meredith said, getting up from her desk and coming over to him.

She greeted him with a warm hug and he let herself pull her in. It had been so long since he'd seen her. Although they talked on the phone all the time, it wasn't the same as being together in person. 

“I'm so excited to show you around and go over the procedure with you. You know we still don’t have a good head of Pediatrics, and the job is always available to you.”

“Meredith stop,” Alex said as she stopped talking and looked at him, taking in the look on his face for a second as her expression changed to one of worry. “Jo has our daughter, Luna. She had our baby and you didn't tell me?”

“Alex…” 

“No just stop, I can't believe you of all people didn't tell me. I can't believe I missed it all. Jo's pregnancy, her birth, she was in the freaking NICU, she’s deaf, and now she's a toddler and I've never met her. But she knows me. She pointed at me and signed and called me Dada. Jo let her come to me and let me hold her. Luna knows who I am, but I had no idea she existed until today. Was anybody going to tell me? Were you going to tell me, was Jo?” 

Alex just stared at her, waiting for her to answer him. Meredith folded her arms and took a deep breath. Alex could tell that she was waiting for something, but he wasn't sure what. This whole thing was so frustrating. He grabbed a pillow from the couch and threw it against the wall with a yell. He sighed and didn’t reach for another, but he couldn't let go of his anger. 

Meredith came over and started up again. “Alex, let me explain.” 

He knew Meredith would use all of the flowery language and stuff that she always used when she was trying to let him down easy. However, he decided he didn't want to hear it from her. He got up, not even bothering to look back at her as he left. Alex went to seek out the one person who he knew would tell him the truth. He went to look for Jo. 

……………………………………………………………………

While Alex was having an existential crisis, Jo was enjoying her breakfast muffin and coffee. She was sitting at the nurse's station as she looked over her schedule. She was also monitoring her first laboring mom whom she had just admitted. It had been a busy morning. 

“Hey,” Jo smiled as she looked up at Link, catching him on the OB floor was a rare occasion unless he wanted to talk to her. 

“Hey,” Link said, giving her a weird look as he raised his eyebrows at her. “So Alex thinks that Luna is his?” 

Despite Link’s look of concern, Jo burst out laughing. She couldn't contain it, it was just so funny. The more she thought about it, the funnier it was. Especially given that Luna was a tiny blonde-haired and blue-eyed baby. Although she did have to admit that Luna looked like Helen and Amber, she had Val's smile and blue eyes. She was the spitting image of her birth mom and not of the Karev family, which Alex would have seen if he had only looked closer. 

“Seriously Jo?” Link said, although she knew he was scolding her, he couldn't help but smile and chuckle as well. 

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean for him to think that,” Jo said as she shook her head, but her smile fell as she remembered the moment she saw Alex. “I was so shocked to see him that I just froze. Nobody told me he was going to be there, nobody gave me any kind of warning. Luna wiggled out of my arms like she always does and before I knew it she was running over to him. I knew I shouldn’t have let her play with our wedding photo, but she loved it and a part of me loved sharing Alex with her. Then she called him Dada like she had been calling everything Dada all morning.”

“Yeah, it was pretty funny to hear her call you Dada all this morning,” Link said with a smile that Jo didn't share with him.

“Luna called Alex Dad and he just looked at her and I knew what he was thinking. Suddenly, I got so scared and I just grabbed her and ran. I finally realized what had happened and what he must have thought after I dropped her off at daycare. But I didn't go back and explain it. I figured Teddy or Weber or Meredith would tell him and then it would all fade into a weird joke. Yet, for a second I honestly thought it would be funny for him to freak out and think I had his kid. Maybe for a second, he would feel like how I felt when he left, when he told me about the twins.”

Link just nodded as he chuckled and she smiled again. “Well it’s certainly one hell of a prank and he does deserve it.” 

Jo laughed again, but she could only nod. Link came around the desk and gave her a hug as she melted into his arms. His hugs always helped her in whatever way she needed them. He gave her one last squeeze before they both went back to work. 

She wasn't surprised when she was interrupted by a text a few minutes later. It was from Meredith along the same lines of the conversation that she and Link just had. Meredith thought it was a bit funny, but that it had gone too far. Jo reassured her that she would set Alex straight. Meredith warned her that he was headed her way, but didn't know that she was an OB, so it gave her a few extra minutes to compose herself. Jo handed off her patient to Carina, explaining the situation and telling her she would be back after she had explained everything to Alex. Then she sat at the nurse's station, finished her muffin, and sipped her coffee as she waited for him.

……………………………………………………………………

Jo didn't have to wait very long for Alex to find her. Less than half an hour later he came straight toward her. His fists were clenched and he walked fast. He was mad and he had every right to be, or at least, he thought he did. But he didn't. She set her teeth as she stared daggers at him. She was the one who was allowed to be angry at him. And she’s so unbelievably angry that she wanted to slam the tablet she was holding onto the counter until it broke.

His hand reached for her, to drag her away, but she didn't let him touch her. Jo turned and walked away before she slipped into an empty room. It was a bit of privacy, even though she knew the nurses would still be pressed up against the door. Jo turned around just in time to see Alex walk in and slam the door behind him. 

“What the hell Jo!” Alex yelled as he started going off. “You were pregnant and you didn't tell me!? You had my kid and now she's a toddler and you never told me anything! She’s two years old and I missed all of it!”

He let out a breath and put his hands on his hips as looked away from her. Jo ground her teeth as she held the tablet out for him. Alex glanced down at it for a second, dismissing it before he did a double take and took it to read the file. It was Luna’s file, her medical records as well as her adoption papers, and information on her birth mother, Val Ashton.

“She's not yours, Alex!” Jo said in a firm voice as she waited for him to read over it and truly realize that Luna was indeed not his daughter. 

“She’s not?” Alex asked in disbelief, his anger fading away, but Jo’s fire still burned. 

“But I can't believe you went to the daycare and tried to see my daughter and fill her head with ideas of you being her father. Luna is not yours, she’s mine, she’s my daughter. I adopted her during the pandemic and I have been the only parent she's ever needed.”

“I wasn’t trying to fill her head with ideas, she called me dada…”

“She calls everyone dada. She’s two, she called Link and me dada this morning.”

“Well, how was I supposed to know that?” Alex tried to explain to her. “I was confused.”

“How could you be confused? She looks nothing like you, Alex. She's got light skin, blonde hair, and blue eyes. We both have tan skin and brown eyes. It’s a dominant gene. You're a doctor for fucks sake.”

“Well forgive me for assuming that a child who looks like Amber is mine, especially when she comes up to me and calls me dad! She knew me Jo, explain that!”

“She found a photo of us and insisted on keeping it, that’s how she knew you,” Jo said with a shake of her head. “I should have never let her see it in the first place.” 

They both fell silent for a moment as his anger faded away. His anger was replaced with eyes that were sincere and full of sorrow. She looked at Alex, really looked at him. He looked older too, and not just because of the grey hairs. He seemed worn out and not just by the situation they were in. Still, her anger spilled over onto her cheeks as her tears fell and her lips trembled.

“Jo, you kept a photo of us, you told your daughter about me?” Alex said in a soft hopeful voice. It was almost a whisper, but that fire was still inside her. 

“Yes, because I still loved you and I was mourning you, mourning us. You left me. I can't believe you left me. You said that you wanted to be my husband! You said you wanted to grow old with me, no matter what! You said you didn’t want an out, but you took one and you left me! I asked you about Izzie again and again. You told me that you didn’t want to find out about her, and you said you’d always choose me. But you didn’t and you chose her! You will always walk out on me, Alex Karev because there is always someone else. I was just a placeholder in your life until you found someone better.”

“No, you weren't….”

“Yes, I was! You don't get to lie to me and say that I wasn’t,” Jo said as she glared at him, her tears made her vision blur. 

“Jo, I promise you, you weren't a placeholder. I love you,” Alex said, pleading with her to believe him, but she didn’t. She never would. 

“You stay out of my life Alex Karev,” Jo said as she glared at him and clenched her teeth as she went to the door, but before she left, she spun around and pointed her finger at him. “And you stay far away from my daughter. You broke my heart, you don't get to break her heart too.”

……………………………………………………………………

Jo left, the door slamming behind her, leaving Alex standing there. The look on her face was like nothing he'd ever seen before. The hurt and the anger in her eyes was like a fire, despite the tears that fell. Jo was heartbroken and grieving and that swirled together in a dagger of anger that would never dull. Alex wanted to say something, anything, but there were no words in the world that would dispel the anger inside of Jo. He knew that all too well, because he was the reason for the storm inside of her. When he learned that she kept the pictures of them and she let her daughter have one, it gave him hope. Hope that quickly vanished when he learned that it was only because she was heartbroken by his letter. 

Alex walked back down the hall and his feet took him to the daycare. He couldn’t resist peeking into the windows to see Luna one last time. He quickly scanned the room before he saw her, sitting in Jo’s lap. Jo was sitting on the floor with Luna in the corner of the room away from the chaos of the other toddlers. Jo didn’t speak very much, she just signed to Luna. Luna pulled out the photo of them from under her shirt. Jo gave her a sad smile as she took it and put it away. There was a sadness across both of their faces and he hated that he was the cause of it again. The hurt that he caused when he left was still affecting her and the daughter she had without him. 

He can see Jo in Luna, in the fire in her eyes, her determination, her smile, and her happiness. She's every bit Jo’s daughter and he couldn't help but smile because this was all the things he wanted for her. He wanted her to have a child. Even though she was hesitant about kids for almost their entire relationship. He knew when he left that she was ready to be a mom. Here she was, a mom to a wonderful little girl. He remembered listening to one of the voicemails she left him after he stopped returning her calls. It was the little last piece of Jo that he clung to, he remembered hearing about how she stole the safe haven baby and he still remembered what she said next. 

“You better come back here and put a baby in me, otherwise I'm going to steal another one.” 

He remembered the way Jo laughed after she said that and how his heart nearly leaped out of his chest. He had to physically stop himself from going back to Seattle and doing just as she asked. The one thing he wanted most in the world was a baby with Jo, a family with her. He still wanted that. But that would never happen, Jo had made that very clear. She had a whole life, a family without him. Alex loves his kids and he didn't regret a second with them, but his biggest regret was not bringing Jo with him. It still ate him up at night and he missed her every second of the day. 

Jo placed a kiss on Luna's cheeks, hugging her close just for a moment before she pulled back. Luna puckered out her lips insisting on another kiss and Jo indulged her with one last peck. Then she sat up and looked around the room, remembering where she was and the events that led her here. Reality was never quite as pleasant as the moments she had with her daughter. 

Jo let out a sigh that turned into a yawn and as she stretched she felt the soreness in her cheek and her wrist. She tried not to let her pain show as she held her wrist close to her chest. She was thankful that she had wrapped it again last night after her shower as it hurt worse than before and she suspected that it was more than just sprained. 

As Luna crawled away and started playing with the fringe on one of the throw pillows, Jo knew she should get up. She wanted to check the time as it looked to be late morning, but she couldn't bear the thought of picking up her phone and seeing a voicemail or text from Tom. She knew she would have to face him eventually, but for now, she wanted to ignore him. 

The thought of going back to Seattle, of facing Tom was the last thing she wanted to do. She would have to file a police report, contact a lawyer, do an interview, then there would be a hearing, and she would have to go to court. She would have to face him again and watch everyone fall for his lies as he pretended to be sweet and say that it was all just one big misunderstanding. 

She was prepared to do all of that to Paul, but back then she had years to gain the courage to do so. She also had Jenny and Alex by her side, and his abuse wasn't fresh on her cheek. Jo was once again a domestic abuse victim, but worse of all her daughter had seen it happen. She hated that she had put Luna through that. Her daughter had watched him hit her. The sound of Luna's cries that afternoon and the look of fear in her eyes was something Jo would never forget. It was never something she wanted her daughter to witness, but it was a situation she had put her in.

Jo sighed as she leaned against the headboard, she pulled Luna into her lap. She held her, wrapping her arms around her and pressing a kiss to her forehead, just because she could. Luna looked up at her and smiled, her big toothy grin. She was still missing a few teeth as her canines hadn't come in yet. But Jo thought that made her smile more adorable. None of the fear or sadness lingered in her and for that Jo was grateful. She was grateful that Luna was young enough that she wouldn't remember this and she would do her best to ensure that her daughter would never see something like that again.

However, unlike with Paul or Myers, she couldn't just run away and let Alex fix it. She had to go back to Seattle to file charges and get a restraining order. Doing so would risk putting her daughter in that situation again. Even if she did get a restraining order, she knew all too well how difficult it was to get and that most men didn't abide by it. She didn't know how long she could stay here, especially considering that this was Izzie's home. Yet, she could stay right here in this moment that she had with Luna, at least for a few seconds longer until she smelled her dirty diaper.

“Alright little miss, let's get you changed,” Jo said, picking her up and going over to the diaper bag in the corner. 

She quickly got Luna changed and dressed for the day before doing the same for herself. If she was going to face her ex-husband's ex-wife she figured she should at least wear pants. Jo finished getting dressed while Luna played with her stuffed animals. As she picked out a shirt, she heard a pair of little voices in the hallway. 

“No Lex, Daddy said to leave them alone,” A young boy's voice, that she assumed was Eli's, came from behind the door.

“I just want to see if they're awake yet,” Lex or Alexis said and Jo could tell that she was right up against the door.

“But Daddy said,” Eli said, trying to get his sister to listen but she cut him off.

“I am listening to Daddy. I'm not going to bother them,” Alexis said and the doorknob creaked as she tried to turn. Luckily Jo had locked it that morning, but she still rushed to put on her shirt. 

“Alexis Andrea Stevens,” an older woman's voice that she assumed was Izzie, interrupted the twins.

“I was trying to stop her Mommy,” Eli said in a rush as she heard his footsteps run away.

“I just wanted to check and make sure they were okay,” Alexis said as Jo heard her let go of the door handle. 

“Alexis, your father and I told you to leave them alone for a reason. They’ve had a long night and they deserve some peace and quiet,” Izzie said to her in a stern voice as Jo quietly sat back down on the bed. “I don't want you trying to disturb them again young lady.”

“Yes Mom,” Alexis said in a way that was so much like Alex, she could almost see the way that Alexis was ducking her head, with the same guilty look that he got.

“Come on, sweetie. Let’s go eat,” Izzie said as Jo heard their footsteps retreat down the hall. 

Jo listened closely and she could hear the family talking and running about in the living room and kitchen. As she sat on the bed as she wanted to wait until the absolute last moment to go out there and face them all. If she could, she would sneak out the window, but of course, she couldn't do that. She did want to see Alex again and Luna would want breakfast soon.

As if reading her thoughts, Luna came over to her. She held her favorite stuffed animal, a large grey Elephant named Ellie. Luna didn't go anywhere without Ellie or her pink pom pom knitted hat. Luna held out her arms for Jo to pick her up. 

She also opened and closed her fist, using the baby sign language sign for milk. “Mama!”

“Alright baby,” Jo said, reaching down to pick her up and put Luna on her hip. “Let's go get some milk.”

After grabbing a fresh sippy cup from the diaper bag, Jo unlocked the door and peeked out into the hallway. She knew she shouldn't be as anxious as she was, but given the circumstances, a little anxiety was bound to pop up. From where she was, she could see that the living room was empty and she slowly stepped out. She could hear their voices and eventually, she heard Alex too as he replied to something Alexis said. Jo paused at the end of the hallway staring into the kitchen. Alex was behind the stove making waffles and eggs, Alexis and Eli were sitting on the stools at the counter, mixing up some more batter, and Izzie sat next to them drinking coffee and reading on her tablet. 

Of course, the kids spotted her first and the twins looked at her with matching Karev smiles. “Hi!”

Suddenly all four of them looked at her and Jo realized the family life that she had just walked into. “Um hi.”

For once in her life, Jo was happy that Luna had no fear of strangers, along with her bubbly personality, as she immediately waved her hand and said, “Hi.” 

“Hi baby,” Eli said, immediately hopping down and running over to them with Alexis hot on his heels as he reached out and took Luna’s hand. “You must be Luna.”

“And you must be Jo. You're really pretty, just like in Daddy's photos,” Alexis said looking up at her with a wide smile that matched Alex’s. 

Jo was a little distracted by the twins and how much they looked just like Alex. Eli was the spitting image of his father except for his eyes that matched his mother’s. Alexis seemed to favor her mom a little bit with her blonde hair, but she was all Alex with that Karev smile.

“Jo, hey come sit down,” Alex said, putting down the spatula and coming over to put a hand on her back. He led her towards the kitchen counter and unfortunately right towards Izzie. Unlike she thought she would, Izzie greeted her with a warm smile as she got up. 

“You must be Jo. It's so nice to finally meet you,” Izzie said as she pulled her in for a hug. Jo was surprised at the amount of affection Izzie was showing to her.

“It's nice to meet you all as well,” Jo said as she awkwardly hugged her back with her free arm.

“I hope you don't mind, but I want you to know that Alex told me everything,” Izzie said as she pulled back. “I just want to make sure that you feel safe and comfortable here, and that you know, you can stay as long as you want to.”

Izzie gave Jo a warm smile, which surprised her. She thought that Izzie would be mad when she found out that she was there and would ask her to leave. Jo knew that she certainly wouldn't want her husband's ex-wife staying with her. However, if the circumstances were reversed, she wouldn't hesitate to take Izzie in. 

“Thank you,” Jo said with a smile, accepting Izzie’s kindness.

The entire time Alex had kept his hand on her lower back in the way that he used to. Jo was surprised by the amount of affection he was showing her in front of Izzie. She looked over at him as he gave her a soft and reassuring smile before he led her over to the free spot at the counter. 

“I should get some milk for her,” Jo said, although she let Alex pull out the chair for her as she sat down and put Luna in her lap. 

“I'll get it,” Alex said, taking the sippy cup from her. “I also ran out this morning and got a high chair.”

Jo looked to her left to find one of those little clip-on chairs at the counter and quickly slipped Luna into it.

“Is Luna allergic to anything?” Izzie asked as she put a plate in front of both of them filled with eggs, blueberries, and waffles. 

“Um no, and thank you,” Jo said as she took the plates and cut up the Waffle for Luna.

The twins moved their chairs over to sit next to Luna, at the end of the counter. Izzie and Jo moved things away so they could put their plates up. Alex came back with the milk for Luna and started making more waffles. Then Izzie sat down next to her and gave her a cup of coffee that Jo practically inhaled. 

“So Miss. Jo, are you still in love with our Daddy?” Alexis was so cavalier in the way she asked in between bites of her waffle.

However, Jo was so surprised that she spat out her coffee and coughed. Alex instantly came over and rubbed her back, but she caught the way he blushed. 

“Alexis,” Izzie quickly reprimanded her, her eyes wide.

“Sorry Miss Jo,” Alexis said, not looking the least bit sorry, as she ducked her head and Eli giggled.

“I'm sorry Jo, they're just into everybody's business and they just like to know what's going on,” Izzie said kindly, putting a hand on her arm.

“Yeah, like another certain someone I know,” Alex said although he smiled over at Izzie who just sipped her coffee with a shrug. 

Jo was certainly taken aback by everything. She was still trying to figure out Alex and Izzie's relationship dynamic before she’d had her morning coffee. Then she caught Alex’s smile. He looked over at her, giving her a wink before he went back to the waffle iron and turned the bacon on the stove. She blushed as she looked down at the plate in front of her filled with eggs, waffles, and bacon. 

“Did you make all of this?” Jo asked, taking a bite of the fluffy cheesy eggs as they melted in her mouth.

Alex had always loved cooking breakfast, but his skills never extended past coffee and waffles. Most mornings they would just get coffee and breakfast at the coffee shop down the street or in the hospital cafeteria as they both grew up on school cafeteria food. If he ever tried to make breakfast at home he would always burn the eggs, although her breakfast making skills weren't much better.

“Yep, I actually learned how to cook quite a few things,” Alex said with a smile flipping the omelet up in the air, as he did the trick, Luna and the twins clapped before Alex put a piece of it on each of their plates. 

Luna grabbed the whole piece of omelet and shoved it into her mouth as both of the kids laughed. Eli tried to show her how to use her fork although Luna had no interest in doing so. 

“I don't know how you lived with him for so many years without him knowing how to cook anything,” Izzie said with a little laugh and a shake of her head.

“Yeah, Daddy used to burn eggs all the time when he got here. Then I taught him how to make good eggs.” Eli said, setting up a little in his chair all proud.

“One time, Alex tried to cook eggs on Waffle Sunday at Meredith's house and I don't know, I guess you got a little distracted and ended up filling the room with smoke. It was so bad that even Amelia said that you should be banned from the kitchen.”

“Oh yeah, because I seem to recall someone else playing a part in that distraction,” Alex said, looking over at her and raising an eyebrow at her. He flirted so easily with her.

“So can you cook other things now?” Jo asked as she ignored his flirting. 

As much as she wanted to enjoy it, she just couldn't. Not when the bruises from her ex-boyfriend were fresh on her cheek. 

Alex of course quickly caught on and frowned as he looked down and went back to cooking. “Yeah, I can cook a couple of dinner dishes now, fried chicken, green bean casserole, lasagna, and even spaghetti.”

“Yeah, but Daddy makes the best pizza!” Alexis said excitedly, her mouth still full of food. 

“Chew before you speak kiddo, otherwise no one's going to be able to understand you,” Alex said, quickly correcting her.

The kids and Alex went back and forth between their favorite dinner dishes. It was nice for Jo to watch, especially as he doted on Luna. The way he interacted with his kids wasn't the same as how interacted with the kids on the ped’s floor or Meredith’s kids. He was more affectionate and interactive with them. He was so happy to just talk with them. Watching Alex be their dad was just so natural. 

“Oh hey Jo, I made you some muffins last night and some homemade mac and cheese that you can have for lunch later,” Izzie said as she quickly got up, Jo tried not to stare at her as she presented her with the muffin. Izzie just gave her a warm smile as Jo took one. “Alex said that mac and cheese is your favorite and given everything that's happened I wanted you to be able to have some comfort food.” 

“Thank you,” Jo said, a little astonished at how kind Izzie was to her. 

“Of course,” Izzie said as if it was nothing. “Let me know if either of you need anything.”

“I want a chocolate muffin,” Eli said as he stood up on his stool and reached for the basket before Izzie pulled it out of his reach. 

“You can have one after lunch buddy,” Izzie said, pulling the plate over to where she and Jo are sitting out of all the kid’s reach.

“How come Miss. Jo gets to have a chocolate muffin for breakfast?” Eli asked, sitting back and wrinkling his eyebrows just like Alex did.

“You guys are having sugar syrup dipped waffles with whipped cream, you've had enough sugar for one breakfast,” Alex said, giving Eli a look.

“Does Miss. Jo get an extra chocolate muffin because of her hurt face and wrist?” Alexis said looking at her curiously innocent and her question as the three adults froze.

“Yeah, how come your face is all purple and your wrist is wrapped like that? Did you fall and trip?” Eli asked, staring at her with equally curious eyes.

“Yes, that's exactly what happened, before I left to visit you guys I fell at the park with Luna,” Jo said as she easily lied to the two of them, glancing over at Izzie and Alex to see them still holding their breath. 

“I'm sorry that happened, falling down at the park hurts,” Alexis said with a solemn nod. “Do you need an ice pack?”

“No, but thank you for offering sweetie,” Jo said before the twins went back to their breakfast. She glanced over at Alex and Izzie to see how they had reacted to her explanation and saw them both let out a sigh of relief. 

After the awkwardness dissipated, everyone settled in and ate breakfast. Afterwords, the three kids rushed off to play in the living room and Jo watched from her seat as they all played together. It surprised her how well the three kids instantly got along. They started to pretend they were on a safari with Luna's elephant and a few other stuffed animals. After he finished cooking Alex went and joined them on the carpet. They all played and then started to set up one of the giant puzzles Alexis had gotten out and Alex gave Luna one of her pacifiers so she wouldn't put the pieces in her mouth. 

Luna has always been such a social butterfly. She certainly didn't get it from Jo, that was all Val. Jo watched how Luna accepted Alex almost instantly, crawling into his lap and happily sitting there as he played with her. It almost hurt to watch as this was what could’ve been, should've been. Just watching him and Luna was everything she had ever dreamed of. Everything she told herself not to want after Alex left. 

The sound of Izzie starting the water for the dishes pulled her out of her head as she picked up her plate. She wanted to grab Luna’s too, but it was impossible with only one working hand, so she left it for now. 

“Do you want me to help you?” Jo asked as she brought her plate over.

“No, no, you're a guest here, you shouldn't have to help me clean,” Izzie insisted as she took the plate from Jo.

“Really, I don't mind,” Jo said, grabbing a rag and starting to wipe down the kitchen counters where the kids had been. “I know how messy Alex can be in the kitchen and it seems like the twins are just like him.”

Izzie laughed and shook her head. “I know, we have a deal that whoever cooks doesn't have to clean the dishes, but I swear he makes twice as much mess as I ever do. Sometimes I wonder if it's worth it? I know he doesn't do it on purpose though and he helps out when he can.”

“Yeah, we had a similar thing when we were married,” Jo said thinking back on it trying not to get lost as the memories came back to her.  

Yet, it was so hard to do when Alex was right in front of her. She couldn't help but stare at him as he played with the kids. He was completely in his element like he always was whenever he was around kids. He goofed around with them and an easy smile graced her lips as she stared at him.

“Was Alexis right, do you still love him?” Izzie asked as she moved away from the sink to talk to her. 

Jo now knew where Alexis had got it from, it seemed that Izzie wasn't afraid to ask her about her and Alex's relationship either. Yet, she didn't answer her, she just looked back at Alex and watched him play with her daughter and his kids. Being here, after everything, was like stepping through a portal into a new world. It was what would have been if he had never sent the letter.

She tore herself away from Alex as she glanced back at Izzie. “The truth is that I don't think I’ll ever stop loving him. Yeah, I moved on but not really. Still, I don't think I'll ever be able to get over how he left me.”

“I'm sorry, part of that was my fault,” Izze said as Jo looked back at her, she stopped scrubbing the pain she had in the sink and looked out the window in front of her. “When I made the decision to use the embryos I did so knowing that Alex had moved on and that I was doing it alone. I had always planned on doing it alone, in fact, I never wanted Alex to be a part of the twin lives. We were so young when we got married and I never truly got to know Alex or see him grow up like you did. So when he walked into our lives a year ago I resisted his presents. I didn't want anything to do with him.”

As Izzie spoke, Jo just stood there. She never imagined that the circumstances between Izzie and Alex were anything, but welcoming and happy. She always imagined that Izzie had welcomed him back with open arms and that they had been an instant family. She was surprised to hear that wasn't the case. 

“I said that if he wanted to even see the twins, much less become their father or get custody of them, that he had to prove he wasn't just going to take my kids and disappear. I gave him an ultimatum. I told him that he had to leave everything in Seattle behind, including you, and move here. At the time I was selfish, I didn't know or trust you and I didn't want my kids to have another mother. So for the sake of the kids, Alex did what I asked. He left Seattle, he left you, and he moved here. Even then, I didn't make it easy for him. After Alex moved in with us and for the first couple of months, especially during covid, he was a stay-at-home dad to the kids. It wasn't until then that I realized he wasn't the man that I had married. Alex has grown up so much and he's such a good father to our kids.” 

Izzie paused to turn and look over at the four of them playing in the living room. Jo followed her eyes as they both smiled and laughed at the twins. They had half the puzzle done and were playing with lots of excitement and movement. Luna waved around a large piece as Eli tried to get her to put it in place as she now stood next to him. Alex laughed and put his hand on Luna's back and prompted her to give the piece to him. Yet, Luna held it close and ran away with it as Eli chased her. Jo and Izzie laughed as they watched them. Jo had always known this part of Alex. She remembered how they used to babysit Zola, Bailey, and Ellis. Even with the kids on the ped’s floor, it was her favorite version of him. 

“I realized that I couldn't keep the twins from their father and that by doing so I was hurting them. I realized that Alex was such a good father and I also got to know you a little bit from the things he told me. I told Alex that he could go home if he wanted to, but so much time has passed. He knew that you would never take him back and I'm sorry for that.”

Izzie looked truly sincere and Jo nodded as she looked over at her daughter. “I get it. I don't know Luna’s father. He gave up custody of her after she was born, but if he wanted to come back into her life...” Jo took a deep breath and shook her head before looking back at Izzie.

“You'd resist it,” Izzie guessed as she nodded understanding her.

“Honestly, I would be weary too and I wouldn’t trust him, but I'm glad you finally saw the Alex that I know and love. But all of this doesn't change the fact that he still left me and the way that he did it…. I understand that he didn't want to fight you and risk losing the kids. Still, I just wish he had at least talked to me. I wish that he would have told me about them before he left instead of lying to me. I wish….”

Jo trailed off as she looked over to where Alex and the kids were playing in the living room. She couldn't help but imagine that they could've had all of this without the heartbreak. If only the three of them had talked to each other and worked things out between them.

As if Izzie was reading her mind she looked over at Jo and nodded. “If I could go back, I'd do things differently.” 

“I would too,” Jo admitted looking over at her. “I would have marched here to Kansas with the letter and demanded that Alex talk this through with me before we divorced. Yet, if I had followed him here, I never would have met and adopted Luna. She's worth all the heartbreak.”

“Yeah, kids are always worth it,” Izzie said as she put a hand on her shoulder and pulled her in for a hug. 

The hug surprised Jo. Everything about Izzie surprised her, how kind she was, and how she had opened her home to them. Jo found herself melting into her embrace and welcomed her kindness and caring affection. Izzie pulled back and they started doing the dishes again. Jo helped her put away the leftovers in the fridge, as best she could with one hand. Izzie looked over at where Jo was still watching Alex with Luna and the twins and gave her a sneaky smile.

“You know, Alex never really fell out of love with you either. And he's been miserable without you. Now, I'm not trying to push you two together or anything,” Izzie said, holding up her hands along with the dish towel she was drying them with. “But I just thought you should know. Also, he still keeps a picture of you in his wallet and when he talks in his sleep, he always calls out your name. 

“Izzie,” Jo said, rolling her eyes and dragging out her name.

“I'm just saying that in my opinion, the two of you should give it another try,” Izzie said, giving her another smile as she walked by her. 

Of all the things she expected when she showed up in Kansas. Izzie Stevens telling her that she and Alex were meant to be and that they should get back together, was not one of them. Jo let out a sigh as she looked over at Alex. Of course, she knew that he was still in love with her. She would be lying if she said she wasn't still in love with him too. However, she was afraid to try and make it work with him again. Jo knew her time here on the farm wasn't going to last forever. She would have to return to Seattle and she knew that Alex wouldn't come with her. 

Izzie went over to play with the twins and she traded places with Alex before he came over to her. He smiled at her like he used to, with one of his soft and endearing smiles and she found herself easily smiling back.

“Hey, what were you and Izzie talking about?” Alex asked, putting his hands in his pockets.

“You,” Jo said with a smirk as he chuckled and looked down.

“How's your wrist?” Alex asked, gesturing to her wrapped hand as she held it up for him to look at it. “Can I take a look at it?”

Jo nodded before looking over at Luna and the twins. She knew that when he unwrapped her wrist, he would see the bruised handprint of her abuser. She didn't want the kids to accidentally see it and get scared.

“Come on,” Alex said, putting a hand on her back and leading her away. 

He let her outside onto the porch and over to the porch swing as they sat down together. Jo took a second to look at the farm in the daylight. The house had a luscious green lawn that led up to the gravel driveway. Across the road, there was a pasture with horses and a barn probably belonging to the farm up the road. The entire area was surrounded by trees and beyond that were fields and fields of a kind of plant Jo didn't know. It reminded her of their trip to Iowa. Although Iowa had low hills that went up and down whereas Kansas was completely flat. 

“May I?” Alex asked, reaching out to handle her wrist with a delicate touch.

Jo nodded as he started to unwrap it. She knew it was bad when she first wrapped it back in Seattle, but it had swelled since then. Just as she suspected there was a clear black and blue bruise of a handprint on her wrist. Jo was still shocked to see it and her heart rate picked up as she felt her anxiety rise. When she glanced up at Alex she saw his nostrils flare and he clenched his jaw. She knew what he was thinking and she knew what he wanted to do. However, as he glanced up and caught her eye his anger disappeared as his look changed to one of worry for her. He then let out a breath and focused on her.

“Does it hurt to flex your fingers,” Alex asked as she moved her fingers before trying to make a fist, but pain shot threw her wrist and she muffled a cry. It was definitely more sore than yesterday. 

“I think it's sprained,” Jo said, as Alex clenched his jaw again.

“Still, we should go in, get an x-ray, and,” Alex said, but Jo quickly cut him off.

“Do we have to? It's just a sprain and I've already wrapped it,” Jo said pleading with him. 

“Jo,” Alex said in a soft familiar tone, gently pleading with her in a way she knew all too well. “You know it might be more than that.”

“They're going to ask how this happened,” Jo said looking down at her wrist and the bruises in the shape of his hand, a visual reminder of his abuse. “They're going to ask and I'll have to tell them what happened, what he did. Then they're going to take pictures and the police are going to get involved. I know what happens. I've worked with other abuse victims. Paul put me in the hospital before, but he'd always lie and say I fell. I was never brave enough to tell the truth, so this would be the first time and I'm not ready to be a victim again.”

“Jo,” Alex said again in that same soft tone.

He used to use that kind of tone with her on late nights when she was tired. She just stripped out of her scrubs and crawled into bed. But he would use that soft, kind voice to get her to eat a few bites of food and drink some water before she passed out.

“Alex please,” Jo whispered in her own desperate voice. 

Alex sighed as he looked down and started gently rewrapping her wrist. “I never could resist you when you whispered my name like that, but I have to this time. You're wrong, Jo. You're not a victim. You're a survivor and you're so strong. You got yourself and your daughter out of a dangerous situation and a dangerous relationship. That makes you a survivor and the strongest woman I know.”

“I want to but, I don't know if I can do this,” Jo said, she couldn't help the tears that filled her eyes and she wasn't just talking about the ER visit. 

Alex pulled her in for a hug, wrapping his arms around her. “You can, and I'll be right there with you every step of the way.”

Jo broke in his arms. They had always been her safe haven, her refuge, and the place she could let herself feel everything. She let out a sob as she buried her face in his neck, determined not to let any of the kids in the house hear her cry. Alex held her like he used to. His arms wrapped around her and held her up as she curled up in him. She let herself be held by his arms. In his arms, she felt truly safe in a way that no one else could make her feel. Although she let out a few tears as he rubbed his hand up and down her back, she felt herself relax. 

“Mama!” Luna shouted as the screen door slammed open and both of them quickly looked up to see Luna toddle into the porch as Eli held the door open for her. 

Jo pulled away and quickly wiped her eyes before turning back and managing to put on a smile as she picked up Luna with one arm. “What's this baby?

Luna thrust a soft stuffed gray elephant into her face. “Ellie.”

“Yeah, what about Ellie?” Jo said as she smiled at Luna. She was grateful for the distraction as she let out a breath and truly smiled.

“Ellie,” Luna said before she bubbled a string of sounds and rested her head on Jo's shoulder and Jo started to sway back and forth on the porch swing.

Just last night, she had sat there crying, but now she leaned against Alex and watched Luna play with the elephant. Eli and Alexis came out with stuffed animals of their own, a little tiger and an alligator as they started to play with Luna. The sad moment was replaced by a happy one. 

Jo glanced over at Alex to see a dreamy smile across his lips and a longing look in his eyes as he stared at her. She knew what he was thinking. He had dreamed of having a baby with her and now he was watching her be a mom to Luna. Jo smiled as she looked at Luna. She would be lying if she said she had never thought about what it would be like to raise Luna with Alex. She looked at the twins and watched them play for a moment before glancing back at Alex. It seemed that he was thinking the same thing. 

“Hey Luna, you want to accompany your Mama to the hospital with me?” Alex asked, reaching out to her and smiling as he tickled her chin.

“No,” Luna said, developing a pout as she pulled the elephant to cover her face. 

“We don't really like the hospitals,” Jo said, leaning her cheek against Luna's head.

“Yeah, that's something you share with your Mama,” Alex said with a light-hearted smile.

Jo sighed as she kissed Luna's head and made the elephant dance for her. 

“You're not alone in this Jo,” Alex said, leaning in and putting his arm around her.

“Okay.”

As the sun set the kids grew sleepy. They moved to the porch and each claimed their preferred parent. Luna was the first to fall asleep in Jo's arms as the two of them sat on the porch swing. Luna’s little head rested on Jo's shoulder grasping at the pink knitted hat that she wore. Eli was curled up on Izzie's lap as they sat on the porch chair together. He had long since given up on the fight to sleep. Izzie ran her fingers through his hair as he snored. William was sitting on the chair across from Izzie.

Alexis was the last kid awake. The kid's mug of hot chocolate was in her hands as her eyes lazily stared at the fireflies. She sat on Alex's lap facing the fields and leaned against him. He gently moved the porch swing back and forth with his foot as Jo leaned against him. Alexis would be out in a matter of minutes, but she still fought it, like she did every night. 

Will finished strumming the song he had been playing and stood. He put his guitar around his shoulder as he got up. 

He stands there for a second just awkwardly with his hands in his pockets. “Well I should get going, It’s late and I gotta be up early to get the motor fixed on my tractor.” 

“Yeah, let me know if you need any help with that,” Alex said with a nod, he’d helped Will out a couple of times in the past year and he liked learning about the farm engines. 

“I’ll bring you boys some lunch if you’re still working on it by then,” Izzie said as she smiled at him so soft and sweet.  

“I’d appreciated that, Izzie,” Will said, his southern accent dropping with honey as he said her name and he ducked his head and nodded.

Jo smiled, but Alex rolled his eyes and she leaned over to swat his arm. It was ridiculous how Will and Izzie acted around each other. He’d watched them for a year as they tiptoed around each other, with some smiles and longing looks. If he and Jo could figure their relationship out in a week these two should have long ago. 

“We should get these three to bed,” Jo whispered, staring down at Eli and Luna before looking over at Alexis, who didn't even protest her words. 

Will nodded and headed out walking down the gravel road with his lantern and old dog Ruthie by his side. Izzie watched him go with a longing sigh before she got up with Eli. Jo got up as well as she followed her and the two of them slipped inside the house to put the kids down. Jo paused in the doorway to look back at him and nodded for him to come inside.

“Come on Lex,” Alex said as he lifted her up, setting her on her feet. 

She wobbled before he picked her up again and took her cup. She wrapped her arms around his neck, laying her head on his shoulder. As she snuggled into him, he smiled and rubbed her back, she'd be out before they got to the bedroom. Izzie held Eli and they trudged upstairs to put the two kids to bed. They were already in their pajamas and as sure enough, Alexis was asleep as he laid her down and tucked her in. 

Alex loved this time that he got with his kids. Getting to be there when they woke up until the moment they fell asleep. Then trying to get every moment in between on days he worked. He loved getting to hold them and put them to bed. It was something he didn't get to do when they were babies, but he got that time with them now. 

When he and Izzie came back downstairs they both started the nightly routine. They cleaned up the rooms and did the dishes from dinner before they usually settled in for the evening. Alex looked around for Jo, as he was picking up a couple of Luna's toys. He spotted her through the window standing on the porch again. She had her mug of tea in her hand as she stared into the fields. 

He paused, staring at her. He wanted to go to her. They hadn't had any alone time since they talked that afternoon a week ago. Although since then they had fallen into a familiar love. They had agreed to keep things between them as they started their relationship again. Things felt so new, like they did the first time. Back then when they started dating the first time, they had already been friends, he had already said he loved her, she was living with him, but they hadn't slept together until a week after. 

Here he was as history repeated itself. A week after they confessed their love and they hadn’t even spent the night in each other’s bed. Not between the three kids running around and demanding all their attention. Jo kept the same schedule as her daughter, going to bed and getting up with her, as she slept more. It was a rare chance to see her alone. 

“Go to her,” Izzie said, giving him a nudge as he came out of his trance. 

Alex still seemed frozen as Izzie took the toys from his hands before pushing him forward. He just stared at Jo as his feet walked forward out to the porch. Jo looked back when she heard the door open and caught his eye, giving him a sliver of a smile. They stood there in silence for a heartbeat, just staring at the fireflies and trying to figure out what to say. 

He looked back through the window to see Izzie pretending to do the dishes as she watched them. When she saw he had caught her, she quickly turned back to the sink. Not waiting to kiss Jo with a crowd he looked out into the dark night but saw the light on in the barn.

“Come on,” Alex finally said, taking her mug of tea and putting it on the table.

Then he took her hand and led her down the steps over to the barn. It was an older, but well kept barn. The exterior reminded him of the barn where April almost got married except it was a deep red. Jo let him pull her along as they reached the barn's side door and slipped in. They quietly slipped past the horse's stalls and healed up to the hat loft. The hay tickled his legs and he wished he’d worn pants instead of shorts. However, Jo didn’t seem to mind it as they kicked up the hay and it danced around the edges of her summer dress. 

It reminded him of how the fireflies danced around her and she reached out, cupping her hands as she caught one. Before the kids had grown sleepy they had been catching fireflies. Jo held one in her hands for a moment before it flew away. Alex watched her hold it out for Luna, who almost ate it, but seemed just as fascinated with the bugs as Jo was. Luna called them flashlight bugs or at least tried to. Alexis and Eli encouraged her to pronounce it with a slight southern accent that made Luna giggle.

He grabbed a horse blanket and threw it down so they could sit together. They looked out at the farm through the open hay door. Will often forgot to close it, but Jo nor Alex minded as they sat down on a haybale and felt the cool night breeze seek in. He wanted to reach out and hold her. To wrap his arms around her waist and lay his head on her shoulder. He wanted that familiar intimacy and touch with her. He wanted to hold her and have her lean into him like she used to. He knew that in the days since their talk, the hurt between them had lessened. Everything seemed to fade away and time dried their tears. The gentle night seemed to wash them anew.

Alex forced himself to look away from Jo and stare up at the sky. The stars became visible in the sky that had turned to pink and purple in the twilight. As he peeked at her again he knew that she was much more beautiful than anything the night had to offer. However comically romantic and poetic that was. He knew she'd tease him for writing poetry again, but Jo made him a sappy romantic. She took her eyes off the fireflies and looked over to catch him staring. But she just smiled and he saw a hint of a blush on her cheeks as she looked back at the fireflies. 

“I haven't seen fireflies since the last time we were in Iowa,” Jo said, turning to look at him as he smiled.

“I remember that night,” Alex said looking back at her as well.

Jo had never lived in a place where she could see the fireflies, and he remembered how fascinated she was by them the first night they were in Iowa. The night after that, he took her out into a field where he used to go as a teenager. He set out a blanket and they sat in the field watching the fireflies. Alex loved how excited Jo was as she watched the fireflies light up the night. It was one of his favorite memories of her.

“I loved that whole trip,” Jo said as she glanced at him, before looking at the fireflies again. “That week we spent in Iowa with your mom was one of my favorite vacations. Because it was the first time I had a family vacation. And I loved your mom.”

“She loved you too, better than she loved me I think,” Alex said as he laughed and shook his head.

“No, she loved you, you’re her special boy,” Jo said as she laughed too, teasing him now.

“Yeah, I guess I always was,” Alex laughed, but he couldn't deny it. His mother loved him and he loved her just as much. 

“Have you seen your mom recently?” Jo asked as she glanced over at him with an out of place raised eyebrow. 

“Yeah, I've been up to Iowa a few times now that I'm closer. I've taken the kids up there too. She loves them and she liked getting to know Izzie. She even taught her how to knit.” 

“Helen's tried to teach me how to knit twice now. The second time, I wanted to make a simple baby hat, but I just ended up with loose knits and added rows. Then all the yarn got in a big tangle and Luna got the end of it and crawled around the table laughing as she went. This of course made a bigger mess. I felt so bad because Helen and I spent the entire night cutting it off the table legs. But she said she just loved how I tried and how happy Luna's laughing was.”

Alex's smile fell the second he realized she wasn't telling a story from the time his mom visited them and brought all those baby hats.

“My mom's met Luna?” Alex asked, waiting for Jo to confirm it.

Jo's smile fell to a soft grin. “Yeah, I called her when I was looking for you before the letter arrived. After the divorce, she kept calling. She wanted to check up on me. When I adopted Luna I told her and she insisted on coming to meet her the second she got vaccinated. She spent a week with us when Luna was nine months old. She adores Luna and insisted I keep all the baby hats she made for our babies. They still fit her as she was so tiny. Luna loved all of them, but the pink one with pompom is her favorite because it's from her Nana. I'm sorry we never told you. But I dungy want you to know and Helen didn't want to lose out on a relationship with me or Luna. And she wanted a relationship with you and she loved the twins too. So she agreed not to tell you about her visits. Sorry, I never told you.”

“No it's okay,“ Alex said with a shake of his head. “You loved my mom and she adored you. I'm glad that you still had her in your life.”

Jo nodded a silent thanks. Alex stared out hay door again. He thought about how much this night was so different and yet so similar to that night in Iowa. Years had passed, and they had grown apart, but come back together. She had come back to him and he was hers again. Here he was watching the fireflies with her again. 

“I wanna love you like I did before,” Jo said as she turned to face him, she reached up and cupped his face with her hands as she stared into his eyes. “Before all of this. Before Kansas, and Izzie, and our kids. I wanna be in love with you like I was, but without easing all of this. With Kansas, and Izzie, and our kids…. I'm sorry, I feel like I'm not making any sense.”

“No, I understand you, I always have,” Alex said with a little smile as he reached out and held her waist, pulling her into him as she sat in his lap. “You want it to be like we had never divorced. Like we had worked things out and come to Kansas together. Like we met the twins together, co-parented with Izzie together, and raised Luna together.”

Jo nodded as she leaned her forehead against his. “I want to be with you. I never stopped loving you, and maybe that's foolish, but I don't care. I love you and I wanna trust you like I did before, and be with you.” 

“I want that too. I know you have no reason to trust my promises, but I promise you that I'll love you forever, Jo. I never stopped loving you either, even in Kansas, even with Izzie. I love you, deeply. More than my heart can contain.”

“You always understand me. I do trust it when you say you love me and never stopped loving me. Maybe more now because of everything.”

Alex smiled, but he didn't say anything else. He just kissed her. For a second, Jo paused, freezing on his lips as she didn't expect it. He was sure she didn’t want this, a part of him still second guessed her words. He pulled back, but Jo chased his lips. She melted into him and he knew that this was what she wanted. She wanted him again. 

Deciding to let his lips do the talking, he gave himself to her. Jo let her body talk to him as well and pressed herself into him. They were always better at talking with their bodies than they were with actual words. Jo read his body like no one else did and he knew how to read her like a book. They kissed deeply, their lips memorizing each other again. He loved the way she felt in his arms. She was his and his alone and he was hers. Her arms felt like home. He was where he belonged and he’d never leave her again. 

He remembered when they used to sit on the couch at the intern house. They would just make out for hours until they got frustrated and someone pulled off their shirt. Tonight, he didn't reach for the hemline of her dress, he just memorized her lips and held her against him. However, Jo wasn't satisfied with just his lips tonight. As she pulled back to look at him, her pupils were blown, and her honey eyes were replaced with back pools of lust. She breathed heavily against his cheeks. She wanted him, he knew it. 

When she reached for his shirt, he let her pull it over his shoulders. Then, she pulled down the straps of her dress. As soon as the fabric left her shoulders, it fell to her ankles. Quickly, he sought to match her nakedness and undid his belt, desperate to get it off as it suddenly felt too tight. He pulled her down and laid her out on the hay as the fading twilight faded away and the darkness shielded their actions from prying eyes. 

“Are we really doing this on the hay?” Jo asked as she sat up on her elbows.

“It wouldn't be the first time we did it on some grass,” Alex said with a smirk knowing it also wouldn't be the last. 

“I put it in your bag because you left it on the coffee table and I knew the kids were going to spill milk on it in the morning,” Izzie said, holding up his bag as she sat by the door packing her own bag before yelling to the twins. “Alexis, Eli, come on, we got to go.”

“Oh, don't look so grumpy. I used to do the same thing for you,” Jo said, lifting Luna out of the high chair expertly with one arm and putting her on her hip before she looked over at Izzie.  

Jo’s wrist was indeed fractured from her falling back onto the grass and had been set in a blue cast. With Alex’s support, Jo made a report at the hospital and got things settled with a lawyer and the police in Seattle. She pressed charges against Tom, and a hearing was set for two weeks from now. In the meantime, Izzie and Alex agreed to let her stay for as long as she needed to. 

“He used to always leave his case files on the coffee table and we always ended up spilling beer or something on them. So I would tuck them away in his bag, and every morning, he would always ask me, 'Hey Jo, where's my case files?'”

“That's not how my voice sounds,” Alex said as he grabbed the folder from Izzie's hands and sat on the bench to put on his shoes.

“It is,” both of the girls said in unison before they exchanged a look, as his frown only deepened.

“Ellie?” Luna asked, looking around. 

“Oh shoot,” Jo said, looking around and going into the living room. “Has anyone seen Luna's elephant?”

“Ellie was on the coffee table next to my case file, so I put Ellie to bed in the toy bin,” Alex said, grabbing the stuffed elephant from the bin under the end table.

Jo set Luna down and she walked over to Alex as he picked her up and set her on the couch with Ellie.

“Alexis, Eli, come on, we got to go,” Izzie called again as she got up and grabbed their coats. 

“I'm here, I'm here,” Eli said as he came down the stairs one at a time. “But I can't find my math homework.” 

“I put it right here after we finished it last night, remember, buddy?” Jo said, holding up the math homework for him to see.

Jo soon became the twins' favorite grown-up. Especially after she helped them with their math homework. Neither Alex nor Izzie were particularly good at math. Especially with the common core curriculum that the school threw at them. Jo somehow understood it and was happy to help the twins. 

He was surprised by how much she and Luna fit into their family. Jo and Izzie seemed to just instantly click and they were soon friends, best friends even. They just talked about anything and everything. Although their favorite topic was him, much to Alex’s dismay. Alexis and Eli instantly loved Jo and Luna too, and Jo enjoyed spending time and playing with them. Luna loved them as well, she looked up to the two bigger kids and followed them around like a puppy. The twins had always lamented about wanting a younger sibling, and they doted on Luna, constantly pulling her away to play. 

“Thanks, Jo,” Eli said as he grabbed his homework and put it into his bag. 

Luna had climbed onto his back, so Alex picked her up and carried her on his back as he walked over to the kitchen. Izzie was putting breakfast dishes in the dishwasher and Jo was wiping down the counter. Alex smiled as Luna put her chin on his shoulder and covered his face with one of Ellie's elephant ears as she giggled. Jo looked up and caught them and she stared at him with a soft smile. Yet she offered no help as Luna covered his eyes with her hands. 

“Where's Alexis? Shouldn’t she be down here by now?” Jo asked, looking up at the clock. 

“She should be down in a second,” Alex said before finally setting Luna on the counter.

He made a funny face at her as he rolled up Luna's pants. They were a pair of Alexis' old pants that Izzie had gotten out of storage, but they were too long for her. When it became clear that Jo and Luna were staying longer than just overnight, Izzie pulled out all of the twins' things from storage. She had kept everything from when they were little and gave Jo a few extra pairs of clothing and toys. She also let Jo borrow some of her clothes. It was weird to see Jo in the bright floral things Izzie favored. Alex looked over at her in one of Izzie's light purple floral blouses and jeans, though he thought she looked good in anything. Luna kicked his hand, reminding him of the girl he should be paying attention to, and Alex went back to rolling up her pants before glancing at the clock. 

“Alexis, if you ain't down here in five minutes, we're leaving without you,” Alex called out up the stairs as he picked up Luna again. 

“Owey ears,” Luna said, covering her ears with her hands. 

“Sorry Luna and sorry Ellie,” Alex said, leaning down to kiss her hands and the elephant ears as Luna took her hands away and giggled.

“Alex, don't say ain't. It’s not proper English, say are not,” Izzie said, as Alex resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

“We live in the south, Izzie. Technically it's proper English around here. Ain't it so Luna Lu,” Alex said as he tossed her up in the air and her laughter filled the ceiling.

“Technically, we live in the Midwest and just because people say it doesn't mean it's proper,” Izzie said, glaring at him as she adjusted her blouse. “And stop tossing Luna up in the air like that. You’re gonna drop her.”

Alex caught Luna and tossed her back up in the air, just one last time as Jo’s laughter joined Luna's.

“I know Alex is careful with her and it's nice that she has someone who can toss her up in the air like that,” Jo said, smiling as she stared at them, not quite watching his actions, but more so just staring at him and Luna.

Alex couldn't help but smile at her before he looked back at Luna and tossed her up in the air just one more time before he put her on his hip and walked over to the door to grab his coat and car keys.

“I'm ready,” Alexis said as she came running down the stairs, passing by all of them as she sprinted out the door, leaving it open behind her as she ran down the porch steps.

“Did she have shoes on?” Jo asked, pointing to where Alexis had run out the door.

“No, she did not,” Izzie said as she shook her head and Alex rolled his eyes. They were used to Alexis's barefoot runs before she came running back into the house, stopping in the doorway.

“I forgot my shoes,” Alexis said as she sat down and pulled her socks and sneakers onto her dusty feet.

“Alright, let's get going,” Izzie said, grabbing the twin’s lunches and putting them in their bags. They grabbed backpacks, lunches, coats, and everything else they would need as they all fumbled around to get out the door. 

“Are you sure you're okay being here alone?” Alex asked as he handed Luna to Jo and put his bag over his shoulder. “I don't really have anything going on today, so I could just stay home…”

“I'm okay, Alex, really,” Jo said, staring at him for a moment too long. “I'm just thankful that you and Izzie trust me to be in your house alone.”

“Yeah, Izzie didn't let me stay home alone until a month after I got here,” Alex said with a shake of his head, although he knew why.

“Well, in my defense, the last time I met Alex, he was still that frat boy resident that I thought I knew,” Izzie said as she pulled on her own shoes as she glanced over at Jo. “I certainly didn't expect to get the mature man that you know him as. Besides, in the past two days, Jo has actually helped around the house. When you first got here, you didn't even do the dishes!”

Jo's eyes went wide as she looked over at him. “Alex, I thought I trained you better than that?”

“I may not have done the dishes, but I did all the child care, and need I remind you who made breakfast and did the dishes last night and every night for the past few months?” Alex said, glaring at both of them.

It wasn't that he couldn't do the dishes when he first got here. It was just that he learned all of his domestic skills because of Jo. Every time he thought about loading the dishwasher or scrubbing a pan, he thought about the soap that Jo had bought him that smelled like fresh lemons. He thought about the magnet she put on the dishwasher so they would know whose turn it was. How she taught him this little trick to get tough stains off the pans and how every dish in his cabinet was Jo’s. The only reason he bought them was because she refused to drink with him again unless he got actual dishes. So he went to the store and bought pots and pans, silverware, cups, glasses, and plates just because he wanted her to come over again. He was so hopelessly in love with her back then and he didn't even know it. Here he was again, hopelessly in love with her and he knew it, but he wouldn't act on it.

“Daddy, you are a well appreciated member of this household,” Eli said, pulling Alex out of his head as Eli used the same phrase that Izzie said to them when they finished their chores.

“Thank you, Eli. I'm glad someone around here appreciates me,” Alex said, giving him a wink as Jo and Izzie rolled their eyes in sync.

“Okay, are we ready to go yet?” Alexis said, stomping her foot as she waited by the door gripping the straps of her backpack.

“The attitude is not appreciated, young lady,” Izzie said, putting her hands on her hips as she gave Alexis the signature mom look. “Need I remind you that we were all waiting on you this morning and I'm only asking for the same patients from you.”

“But I couldn't find my sparkly pom-pom pen,” Alexis said, pulling the pin out of her pocket and holding it out for them to see. 

“You're in first grade, kiddo. They don't even let you use pens yet,” Alex reminded her, gently tugging on her pigtails. 

“Yeah, but this one is special to me because it matches the pom-poms on Luna’s hat,” Alexis said, holding it up to the hat on Luna’s head as she smiled and all the adults softened. 

“Alright, are we all ready to go, now?” Izzie asked, putting her bag over her shoulders and jingling keys in her hand. 

“Ready,” Alexis said, standing up tall and straight, clearly eager to get out the door. 

“Here, Jo and Luna,” Eli said, handing her a little toy mouse and a book. “This is Mouse and his book. He'll show you what I'm doing while I'm at school and keep you company until I get back.”

“Thank you, Eli, that's so sweet of you,” Jo said, reaching out to pull him in for a hug “Luna, can you say thank you?”

Instead, Luna wiggled out of her arms and Jo set her down. As soon as she did, Luna ran to Eli and hugged his legs as he quickly hugged her back. It was such a sweet moment and Jo and Izzie awed at their cute bond.

“Tank ooh,” Luna said, holding the mouse and inspecting her new friend. 

“You're welcome,” Eli said with a smile, positively blaming at the affection that Luna gave him. “I just didn't want you to be lonely while we're all at school and work.”

“That's very sweet of you, Eli,” Izzie said, putting an arm around his shoulders and leaning in to kiss his forehead.

“Okay, okay, Jo and Luna are gonna be fine. Let's go,” Alexis said, waving her hand to usher them out the door.

“Okay,” Izzie said, rolling her eyes at Alexis' antics. “Now, be sure to tell your teachers that I'm picking you up at school today.”

“And Jo, call me if you need anything. Really anything, I can be back in half an hour,” Alex said, looking over at Jo as he stood in the doorway holding his keys, a little reluctant to leave her.

“We'll be fine, won't we, Luna,” Jo said, looking over at her as Luna nodded so much that her hat fell off, and Alex laughed as he leaned down to pick it up and put it back on her head.

“Well, regardless, we'll both have our phones on us today and call Willy up the road if any happens or any of the animals get loose,” Izzie said, gesturing to the farmer's number posted on the fridge.

“Got it, thanks,” Jo said, glancing back at the number. 

“Okay, goodbye kisses, then let’s go,” Izzie said, leaning down to hold Alexis still so she could kiss her cheek, then leaning over to kiss Eli. “Love you both.”

“Love you too, Mommy,” Eli and Alexis said at the same time. Then Jo held Luna down to them so they could each kiss her cheek. “Bye Luna.” 

“Jo,” Eli said, tugging on her shirt. “You gotta bend down so we can give you a goodbye kiss too.” 

Alex could see Jo smile as her heart melted with love for them. She leaned down so Alexis and Eli could kiss her cheeks and he loved the way she blushed as she stood back up. 

“I love you two squirts,” Alex said, kissing their heads too, despite how he still had to drop them off at school. They wouldn’t let him kiss them at drop-off as apparently, they were too old for goodbye kisses in front of their friends. 

“Bye guys,” Alexis said, giving them a single wave as she ran out the door.

“Bye Mommy, bye Jo, bye Luna,” Eli said, giving them each a hug before running out to join Alexis in the car.

“Bye-bye,” Luna aggressively waved to Eli and Alexis with both of her arms as the twins eagerly waved back to her. 

Alex looked at Jo, staring at her just a little bit too long as he lingered on the porch, reluctant to leave. “Okay, then, bye Jo. Try not to get into too much trouble.”

“No promises,” Jo said, smiling at him as they exchanged the familiar goodbye they used to say to each other. She gave him a soft smile as he reluctantly took a step back before he turned to go.

“No, kiss, kiss,” Luna yelled as he looked back to see her demanding a kiss of her own as she puckered her lips.

“Bye Luna,” Alex said, kissing her cheek before he kissed Jo's lips. “Bye Jo.”

He didn't actually realize what he had done until he licked his lips and tasted her strawberry chapstick. He had turned around to walk down the stairs and froze on the first step. Alex hadn't meant to kiss her. It was just something he had done so automatically. Every day before work, he used to kiss Jo goodbye, and here every day, he would kiss the twins goodbye. So when he went to kiss Luna, he didn't even think twice about kissing Jo as well. 

Alex turned around and saw Jo standing there, wide-eyed. She held her fingers up to her lips as if she could still feel his kiss. Her cheeks, which had been pink when Eli and Alexis kissed her, were now a flaming red. Alex didn't know what to do or say. He didn't want to say that he regretted the kiss because he didn't and he didn't want to say that he did it on purpose because he didn't. Instead, he just looked back at the twins and hurried into the car. 

However, the second he got in the car, the twins jumped on him like vultures.

“Daddy, how come you kissed Jo?” Alexis asked, leaning forward to see him.

“Yeah, Daddy, how come you kiss Jo goodbye, but you never kiss Mommy goodbye?” Eli asked in quick succession as he raised an eyebrow at Alex.

“Umm I, I just, I...” Alex could barely form a whole word, let alone a sentence of an exclamation as the feeling of Jo’s lips was the only thing he could think about. 

“Daddy doesn't kiss Mommy because Mommy and Daddy aren't in love,” Alexis said as if it was obvious, letting out a dramatic sigh with an eye roll that she definitely got from Izzie. “But Daddy and Jo are in love, so they kiss.”

“But I thought that you did love Mommy,” Eli asked, looking at him in the rearview mirror with a slight frown.

“I do, I do love your mom,” Alex reassured them as he turned around to face them. He wanted his kids to grow up in a family knowing that even if their parents weren't in love, they still loved and cared about each other. “It's, it's kind of like what Alexis said. Your mom and I love each other as friends and we love you guys because you're our kids. But I love Jo because, well, she's smart and kind. She cares about you guys and me and Izzie. She understands me and forgives me, and I just… I love her.”

It was the first time he had said he loved her and why since Jo got there and here he was saying it to his seven-year-olds. Still, Alex smiled, sure of his words. He loved Jo and he wanted to love her again. However as he looked back at Jo standing on the porch and talking with Izzie, he knew it wasn't the right time for such a declaration. So he sat back, put on his seat belt, and started the car as he pulled out of the driveway.

“I love Luna like I love Eli. She's the perfect little sister. She's cute and sweet and she's always plays along with us. I loved Jo too, she helps us with our homework and takes us places. She also gives good hugs. But I don't like her like I love Eli. I love Jo like I love Mommy and Daddy. Even though she's not our Mommy or our Daddy. She does a lot of stuff that you and Mommy do for me, and I love her for it,” Alexis said, so sure of her words and free with her love as she had always been. Alexis was so quick to grow attached to people and so willing to love in a way Alex wished he could. 

“I love Jo like I love Mommy and Daddy too,” Eli said as he and Alexis exchanged a nod before he continued. “Daddy, is there a third word for a grown-up who's a part of your family like your Mommy, but not an auntie?”

Alex watched Jo and Luna as she and Izzie talked on the porch. “I don't know, but we can try and think of something. I'm glad you guys love Jo and Luna. I love them too.”

It made Alex's heart swell to know that his kids loved Jo and Luna as much as he did. It was all he had ever wanted since Jo came to the farmhouse. He stopped the car at the end of the driveway as he looked out onto the main road. He also looked in the rearview mirror and saw Izzie leave and get in her car before Jo and Luna waved her off. It was a dream come true. 

“Daddy, if you love Jo, does that mean you're going to marry her?” Eli asked, causing Alex to pause before he turned onto the main road.

“Daddy and Jo are already married. Remember the wedding photos? You can't get married twice,” Alexis said, pointing out with a nod.

“That's kind of true Jo and I were married, but we're not married anymore, just like your Mommy and I aren't married anymore,” Alex said as he turned to go into town. 

“So, if you're not married now, does that mean you are going to marry Jo again?” Eli asked, still confused. 

Alex looked in the rearview mirror. He could see Alexis’s eagerness to answer as she opened her mouth, but he quickly cut her off. “Nobody's getting married right now. Jo and Luna are just here for a little while. Then they're going to go home to Seattle.”

“Oh,” Alexis said, visibly disappointed as she sat back in her seat and looked out the window.

“I wish they could stay forever,” Eli sighed, talking to no one in particular as he looked out the window as well.

“Me too, buddy,” Alex whispered as he focused on the road ahead. 

He couldn't imagine Jo and Luna leaving now. Not when Luna rested her head on his shoulder and fell asleep in his arms. Or Jo looked at him with such soft eyes and a warm smile. It was the same smile that he had fallen in love with and it made his heart ache. 

It was something he thought about every day that Jo was there. He knew that every day was one day closer to them going back to Seattle, but every day they stayed was another day he got to see them. A year and a half ago, Alex had the chance to ask Jo to stay, and he didn't. Yet here he was again with the option to ask her to stay and oh how he wanted her to stay. Back then, he didn't know how to ask her to give up everything for him. But this time he knew that he couldn't be a coward and he had to ask. Even if she said no, he knew he'd regret it for the rest of his life if he never asked Jo to stay.

……………………………………………………………………

Jo stood on the porch steps, frozen as Alex’s kiss still lingered on her lips. It was so automatic in the way that he kissed her. It was the same way he used to kiss her before work every day. Just a quick peck on her lips and then he was gone. But that quick little peck of love was one of her favorites, or it used to be. She brushed her fingers across her lips to double-check that he had actually kissed her and that she wasn't dreaming. She saw Alex pause and glance back at her. His eyes were wide and his cheeks burned red before he rushed down the steps and into the car. Still, she stood there frozen and stared at him. 

“Well, I don't think I've ever seen Alex so smitten,” Izzie said, with a knowing smile.

“What?” Jo asked as her words broke her out of her trance and she looked over at Izzie. 

“I've seen him with women before,” Izzie said with a little smile as Jo just looked at her before Izzie continued. 

“When we were interns, not recently. He hasn't even given a girl a second look since he got here. I never knew why until I saw the two of you together. Jo, I know that you came here because of what happened to you, and I know that you weren't expecting anything from Alex. Still, I think you came here on purpose, whether you knew it or not. I've seen the way the two of you have acted around each other this past week. You still love him and he is hopelessly in love with you. Now, you both have a second chance at things. I think the two of you would be idiots if you didn't give each other that chance.”

“I can’t,” Jo said, automatically as she looked to where Alex was talking to the twins in the car.

“Yes, you can. You just have to talk to him, so what's holding you back?” Izzie asked, reaching out and putting a hand on Jo's arm.

“I, I,” but the words Jo was going to say died on her lips.

Ever since Alex left, whenever Meredith, or Link, or anybody else asked her why she didn’t want to fight for him, for them, Jo always said the same thing. That Alex left her, and he didn't give her a choice in their divorce. She wasn't going to fight for someone she had already lost. Yet, here she was, in Kansas with him, facing the consequences of their actions. For some reason, his decision was a little more understandable and she was a little more forgiving. She looked at the twins and thought. How could Alex not fall in love with them, and how could he not stay with them? Because she had fallen in love with them and she wanted to stay too.

She loved Eli's quiet, observant demeanor. He was so much like Alex in every way. He was so smart and watchful, observing everyone and learning how to help them. He was so kind just like Izzie. She loved Alexis and her bright and happy personality. She was eager to help anyone and loved making them laugh. She also laughed in her sleep like Alex did sometimes. Like Izzie, she spoke her mind regardless of whether she got in trouble. 

She even loved Izzie too. In the past week, they had gotten close and had become friends. She loved how much Izzie cared about everyone. Even her and Luna, when she didn't have to. Izzie was so optimistic, she saw the best in everyone. She also believed that everything would work itself out like she did now with things between her and Alex.

Being here in Kansas, Jo got to know them and became a part of their little family. Loving them now and knowing that she didn't get the opportunity to love them before was a hurt that still lingered inside of her. 

“Jo,” Izzie gently said, bringing her out of her head.

“I don't know. I thought I knew why I could never forgive Alex, but, every day that I'm here... I just, I don't know anymore,” Jo said, shaking her head, her hair bouncing. Luna reached up and grabbed ahold of Jo's strands, and she quickly moved to untangle her daughter's fingers from her hair. 

“Look, I'm not going to be meddlesome,” Izzie said, although Jo just gave her a deadpan look. In the past week, she had learned just how meddlesome Izzie could be in her friend’s and family's lives. “I swear I'm not, but I think that you and Alex should at least talk. The two of you haven't been alone since the night you got here, and I know that you have things to say to him, even if you just yell at him. I also know that Alex has things he wants to say to you too, things he didn't say in the letter. The two of you should talk. That’s all I'm saying.”

“There's so much I want to say to him, but we just haven't gotten the chance,” Jo said, looking down at Luna, who now played with the little mouse Eli gave her. “And with Luna…”

Jo had barely left her side in the past week. Every time she left Luna with Izzie or Alex to go to the bathroom or something, she heard Luna’s phantom cries and rushed out to comfort her. Only to find that Luna was happily playing with them. 

“Why don't I take Luna and the twins up to the barn for an hour or two after dinner or something? Then the two of you can talk?” Izzie offered, reaching out and putting her hand on Jo’s shoulder before she smiled at Luna. “What do you think Luna? Do you want to go see the horses?”

“‘orse ‘orse,” Luna said, trying to master her new word. She tried to wiggle out of Jo's arms so she could run over and see the horses. She had grown to love them since she first saw them the day after they got here. 

“Okay,” Jo said, shifting Luna to her other hip with her good hand and getting a better grip on her. She decided to take a chance and face things with Alex for the first time since he left.

“Alright, once we get home, we can work the details out. In the meantime, I have to get going, but again, call me if you need anything,” Izzie said, giving Jo a look that she usually only reserved for the twins.

“I will, I promise,” Jo said as Izzie stepped away to go down to her car. “And Izzie?”

“Yeah?” Izzie looked back at her, pausing on the first step. 

“Thank you for everything. You've been so kind to us the past week and I want you to know that I really appreciate it.”

Izzie just smiled at her before coming back and wrapping her arms around Jo in a hug. She remembered why Cristina used to describe Izzie as a human ball of sunshine. She really was as warm and kind as the sun. Izzie pulled away, but not before giving her shoulder one last squeeze. Then she hopped down the stairs and got it to her car. Jo watched her leave, catching Alex in the twins sitting at the end of the driveway, long after they should have left. 

Jo took a deep breath as she held her daughter close, hugging her for just a second and then pulling back to look at her. “Alright, Luna, you and I are gonna hang out just the two of us today. How about we go inside and play spaceship to the moon, yeah?”

“Moo Moo,” Luna said, positively vibrating with excitement as she jumped up and down in Jo's arms.

He could barely focus on the road ahead of him, but he kept going. He figured that the sooner he could get back to the farmhouse, the sooner he could help Meredith find Jo. His mind raced with the possibilities of what could have made her want to run. It had to have been something significant, as Jo stopped running long ago. Even when Paul showed up, she didn't run. However, that was back when he was there with her. Now she was on her own. 

“I don't know,” Meredith said, letting out a breath, her voice still filled with worry. 

“Well, start from the beginning. When did you notice she was gone,” Alex said as he picked up speed on the dark road, gripping the steering wheel tightly. Luckily, he was just a few minutes away from the farmhouse. 

“When she didn't show up for work this afternoon. Link and I tried to call her, but she wouldn't pick up, so we called her boyfriend, Tom. She's been seeing him for a few weeks, but I'm sorry Alex,” Meredith said with a sigh, knowing exactly what was going through his head. 

“It's okay, it's good that she's moved on,” Alex said, trying to convince himself that he meant what he said. “What did he say? Does he know where she could have gone? Did anything happen between the two of them?”

“No, he said that everything was fine. He said they met up at the park and had a good time together, but she left early to put Luna down for a nap.”

“Luna?”

“Yeah, Luna is Jo’s daughter. She officially adopted her back in August. Luna was the daughter of one of Jo's patients and a NICU baby. Jo had been looking after her since her mother died in May of last year. God, if anything happened to Luna, Jo would never forgive herself, but if anything did, they would have shown up at the hospital, not just disappeared,” Meredith said, still trying to make sense of it all.

“Okay, well, did you check the Loft? Is anything missing? Jo has a folder that she keeps taped to the bottom of the cabinet behind the couch and a backpack hidden in the closet. Are those still there?” Alex asked, Jo always kept a go bag and the folder.

The emergency bag and folder had all their important documents, her Social Security card, birth certificate, medical records, food, water, clothing, and medical supplies. It used to be just her stuff, but after she proposed, Jo added all of his important documents to the folder and made a second go bag for him too. It was one of the things that made him realize that when she said she didn't want to go anywhere without him, she meant. When he left, he took his documents and left hers there. He left her there.

“I don't know, Link and I went to her penthouse, Jo’s new place. It looked mostly intact, but her suitcases, some clothes, and some of Luna's stuff were missing. That's why I called you. I wanted to ask if you knew any place where Jo might go or if she had contacted you at all or just anything?” Meredith asked, seeming more desperate than before. 

“No, I haven't heard from her. I'm sorry, but maybe I'll give her a call and see if she'll pick up for me,” Alex said as he pulled into the driveway. Jo always picked up for him, but that was before he left her. 

As he pulled into the driveway, Alex let out a sigh. He tried to rack his brain for any place that Jo would go, but all he could think of was home, Seattle. When he pulled up in front of the house, he realized there was a rental car parked in front of the garage. As he looked up at the porch, he saw a figure sitting on the porch swing with a baby in their arms. It was Jo. 

“Mer, I think I found her,” Alex said as he grabbed his phone and ran out of the car, his heart racing in his chest as he climbed the porch steps. 

He knew it was Jo from the moment he saw her, and as he got up to the top of the steps, he paused. There she was, sitting on the porch swing and gently rocking it back and forth, holding a sleeping Luna in her arms. He remembered the night that she showed up on his doorstep after her fight with Myers. Back then, she was sitting on the porch swing, shivering in her hoodie. Just like she was now. 

Just like she had that night, Jo was staring straight ahead. He could only see half her face, but as she turned to look at him, her eyes full of tears, and he saw the bruises on her cheek. They were starting to form in back patches along her cheekbone and she had a split and bloody lip.

“I'm sorry, I didn't know where else to go,” Jo said as the tears started to fall again. She looked away from him and down at Luna as she held her closer. 

“Alex, Alex,” Meredith yelled into his ear as he didn't realize he was still holding the phone.

“I found her, Meredith. Jo’s here in Kansas,” Alex said as he slowly walked over to her. She refused to meet his eye again as she held her hand over her face and cried.

“Is she alright? Is Luna with her? Are they okay?” Meredith asked, as panicked as she was when she first called him.

“Jo, what happened?” Alex said as he kneeled down in front of her, he reached out and put his hand on her knee as Jo just shook her head.

“I was so careful. I thought he was good, but he wasn't. I didn't think, I didn't think it would happen again,” Jo said as she just sobbed even harder.

“It's Jo,” Alex said, watching Izzie for her reaction. 

“Jo, your ex-wife!? She's here?” Izzie asked, her eyes going wide as she looked down the hall. 

“Yes, she showed up an hour ago with her daughter. She was waiting for me on the porch when I got home,” Alex started to explain, but Izzie cut him off.

“Your daughter too?” Izzie asked with a quick gasp. “I knew it! I knew she was pregnant! The way Meredith talked, I knew she was hiding something about Jo. So did you get to meet her? Is she cute? Oh I bet she looks just like Alexis and Eli when they were younger. They looked so much like you, and I bet she does too.”

“No, no, Jo didn't have my kid. It's her adopted daughter, Luna,” Alex quickly held his hand up to her as he explained it. He tried to continue telling her the full story, but of course, Izzie interrupted him again.

“Oh, well did she finally come here to yell at you for the way you left her? Because I told you she would and she should!” Izzie said as she walked into the kitchen with a smirk.

“Will you just let me explain,” Alex insisted as he followed her into the kitchen. “Jo's not here to yell at me. Her boyfriend hit her and she came here because she didn't know where else to go.”

“Oh my god, Alex. Is she okay, is her daughter alright?” Izzie asked as she put a hand on her chest and turned around to look at him.

“Kind of, Luna's fine, but Jo's some bruises on her face, a split lip, and I think her wrist is broken,” Alex said with a sigh as he crossed his arms. He knew they'd have to go into the hospital tomorrow to have it looked at and Jo would hate that. “Jo was just scared and she ran. She said she wanted to go somewhere safe so she came here to see me. I don't know how long she's going to stay but...”

“Tell her she can stay as long as she needs to,” Izzie said, setting him up with a serious look.

Alex nodded and he couldn't help but smile a little. Although he had been living there for a year and a half, sometimes he still felt like a guest in Izzie’s home. He wasn't sure if inviting Jo to stay the night would be okay with her. But of course, Izzie would never turn away someone in Jo’s position. Regardless of who they were.

He had thought of what it would be like for Izzie and Jo to meet, especially after he found out about the twins. At first, Izzie had been opposed to it, she didn't want Alex in the twin’s life, let alone some woman she didn’t know. As she opened up and they learned more about each other's life, Izzie grew more open to the idea of meeting Jo, but by then months had passed and Alex had already left her. 

“Thank you for letting her stay,” Alex said, as Izzie just nodded as she turned back to the fridge.

“Of course, is she still hungry? I could whip up something really quick. Does she like soup? Or maybe I'll make some muffins. How old is her daughter?” Izzie asked as she pulled out a few ingredients for baking.

“I already gave Jo some mac and cheese and Luna had a snack before they got here and she was sleeping so she didn't eat. Luna's a year and a half old. I've been picking up some of the smaller toys so she doesn't accidentally get into them tomorrow,” Alex said as he started to pick up the toys again, grabbing the lego set Alexis was building on the coffee table, and moving it to the dining room table where it would be out of Luna's reach.

“Seriously Alex, you fed her mac and cheese for dinner, after the day that she's had?” Izzie asked, raising an eyebrow at him and shaking her head.

“It's her favorite,” Alex said with a shrug as he grabbed another basket and started picking up all the little Pokémon figurines that always ended up scattered around the room. 

“You know the more I hear about her, the more I understand why the two of you were meant to be,” Izzie said as she got out the muffin tins and started putting in the liners.

“Yeah,” Alex paused, thinking about the way that Jo looked at him all night before he caught sight of what Izzie was doing. “Are you seriously going to make muffins at 9:30 p.m.?”

“Yes,” Izzie said, getting out the mixing bowls and different ingredients. “She's had a long day. Her boyfriend hurt her and she flew all the way out here with her daughter. She showed up at her ex-husband's and ex-wife’s house. She deserves chocolate muffins and homemade mac and cheese, not that box stuff you probably gave her.” 

Alex shook his head as he finished picking up the toys. Then he went and grabbed the baby gate from the storage room under the stairs. The nose from the shower was gone and the light was off in the guest bedroom so he tiptoed by. As Alex baby-proofed the downstairs area, Izzie baked the muffins and made the homemade mac and cheese. Once he was finished, he offered to help her bake, but she shooed him away, claiming that he would burn something. Which was probably true, so he said goodnight to her and went upstairs. 

He tried to resist the urge to check on Jo in the guest bedroom, but curiosity got the better of him. Alex slowly turned the door handle before peeking inside the room. Luna wasn't in the pack and play and instead, Jo had brought her into bed with her. Jo was curled up on her side like she always was with one arm around Luna as she held her close. Luna was buried in her mom’s chest and her little fist clutching tightly to Jo's sleep shirt. Alex always slept on his back, but he remembered how he used to roll over in the middle of the night and curl around her, just so he could hold her. It went against every instinct in him not to go and hold her now, but somehow he found the strength to turn away and close the door.

“We hit it off and he took me out nearly every weekend. By the end of the month, he wanted to meet Luna. He knew how important she was to me and how she was such a big part of my life, and I agreed. So this morning I met him at the park. Luna's never been shy, but for some reason, she didn’t like him. I guess her judgment is better than mine,” Jo said with a smile that quickly fell as she shook her head. “So I put her on the swing, and I was pushing her, and she kept trying to kick my hand. But we were just playing and she was laughing. She ended up kicking my hand and I asked her to stop, but she just laughed and kept kicking. I wasn't even hurt or anything but, he made this joke. He said, ‘you better listen to your mom, or she'll return you to the hospital.’ and Luna got all wide-eyed and quiet. Then she started to cry. We still have to go to the hospital for tests, and appointments, and stuff, and she hates it. I know she was frightened that I would leave her there, which of course I never would.” 

Jo looked up into his eyes as if she was trying to make him believe it too, and of course, he did. He knew Jo, and he knew that she would never willingly leave her daughter behind. She would never want Luna to think that she was going to leave her or that she was unloved or unwanted.

“I scooped Luna up out of the swing and just glared at him. I held Luna close, and I reassured her that I would never leave her at the hospital. That I would never leave her at all. I told her that she was stuck with me forever and I had the paperwork to prove it. Once she calmed down, I gave her an extra hug and kiss. Then put her back in the swing. I gave her a couple of pushes before I looked back at him.” 

Jo got the same angry look that he imagined she gave to Tom and Alex had to keep from leaning back away from her. He had never seen Jo like this, like a mama bear ready to fight for her cub, and he'd be lying if he said he didn't love this version of her.

“And I just ripped into him. I mean, I did it in hushed voices as I didn't want Luna to get upset or anything, but I just laid into him. I told him how inappropriate that joke was. Especially given that Luna's adopted and because that happened to me, you know. I had dozens of foster parents and adopted parents who threatened to send me back and then actually did. But he just played it off like it was a joke. I told him that it wasn't funny. Then I said he should leave and that I didn't think that this was going to work out. I guess I finally realized that he wasn't what he seemed. I just realized it too late. I turned back to Luna and that’s when he grabbed my wrist. He kept insisting that it was all a joke and he wouldn't let go. He just squeezed my wrist harder and harder, and I told him it was hurting, but he didn't listen. He just kept saying that it was a joke and that he was a nice guy. That I should give him a second chance and not take things so seriously, but I just screamed at him to let me go, and then Luna started crying again. I didn't want my daughter to see that. I never wanted her to be frightened of anyone I was dating. I tried to get away as quickly as I could. I tried to pull out of his grasp. I even twisted my wrist to try and break free, but he wouldn't let go. I ended up just trying to hit his arm to make him let go and that's when he hit me. It all happened so fast.”

Jo closed her eyes as she couldn’t bear to look at Alex right now. She could see and feel it all so vividly and her mind. The feel of his hand wrapped around her wrist, the cold grass as she fell back, the smell of the rain and his expensive cologne, and the way Luna's screams rang in her ears. In that moment, she had a flashback of when Paul had slapped her across the face, and now she had flashbacks of Tom doing the same thing. A few tears escaped, and she looked down to see them fall into the mug of hot chocolate that was growing cold in her hands. 

The only thing that brought her back was Alex. He put his hand on her knee and rubbed gentle circles like he used to. Leaning into him, he wrapped one arm around her. Being in his arms again made her feel so safe and secure and loved. He was giving her that love she had wanted since he left and he gave it to her freely now. She knew that she should be mad, that she should rage and scream and cry at him. However, right now, all she wanted was for him to hold her. Alex had loved and protected her better than anyone. That was why she came here in the first place. Jo looked up into Alex's eyes again as he just watched her, waiting for her to continue. He never pushed her to tell him things and for that, she was grateful.

“The second he hit me, he let go, and I fell back. I scrambled up and I got Luna. I just scooped her up and ran. Of course, he chased after me, and he kept apologizing and saying that he didn't mean it. That he was sorry, but I'd heard it all before from Paul. I swore I would never let that happen again and never in front of my daughter. So I just ran. I got to the car and just climbed into the front seat and locked the doors. Then I turned around to put Luna in the car seat. The entire time he was there, yelling and apologizing, and banging on the windows, but I just ignored him and drove away. I was so scared that he was going to chase me and I don't know. I just thought about Paul and how he'd kill me. So when I got back to the penthouse, I just grabbed everything that we would need, and I left. I didn't know where to go, I was just on autopilot when I drove to the airport, and before I knew it… We were on a plane here.” 

Jo paused for a second as she looked around the farmhouse again. It was so perfect. It was straight out of a magazine. This perfect little farmhouse, in this quiet little town with kids’ toys scattered around and baked goods on the kitchen counter. The house smelled like cookies, the floral candles that she saw on the mantel, and like everything a home should smell like. But, she didn't come here for the perfect home, she came here for Alex. 

Now she looked back at him, she knew she made the right decision in coming here. Because as he sat next to her, holding her close, he was protecting her like she knew that he would. When she bought the plane ticket, all she could think about was how much she wanted Alex. And how much she wanted him to protect her like he had protected her from Jason and Paul. How he would have never made that joke because he knew what it was like to be bumped around foster homes, never wanted, and always returned. She thought about how much he would love Luna and how he would reassure her that they would always want her and love her.

“I just missed you,” Jo said, looking at him as he suddenly looked up at her, as his lips parted. “I miss how much you loved me. I've been chasing that love since you left. I fell in love with Luna, and I love her, I do, but she's not my partner or my husband. I wanted that again, that's why I started dating. I realize now that the only thing I ever wanted was you. I just wanted you back.”

Jo knew that it was wrong to say. Alex lived in this perfect house with Izzie and her perfect muffins and their perfect kids. He had a perfect life and a perfect family, and she was just coming in to ruin it all, but she didn't care. She didn't come here because she needed Alex. Sure she needed a safe place where she could hide out with her daughter, but she wanted him. She wanted him to love her and protect her and be there for her again.

Alex just stared at her, his lips slightly parted and his eyes wide. He didn't say anything and she didn't expect him to. She wasn't sure if she wanted to face him, so she looked away. She caught sight of a photo sitting on the end table. It was of Izzie, him, and the twins. She picked it up and looked at it. 

“Izzie takes these photos every fall to make sure she has a family photo and one for the Christmas card. The twins insisted that I be it too, but it felt weird to be a part of someone else's family photo. I mean, Alexis and Eli are my family, and I love them. I'm their dad, but it still feels weird to be a family with Izzie, and not you.” The last three words were said in almost a whisper that she didn’t quite catch, but she didn’t look at him, she just stared at the photo.

It did look a little awkward. The twins were in between the two of them smiling, and Alex and Izzie were on opposite sides of them, standing as far away as possible. Izzie had a wide and happy smile, but Alex had that forced smile that he always had whenever she made him take a photo. 

“I remember how you used to tell me how to smile whenever you wanted a picture of me. Back then, it was so easy to smile for you,” Alex gave her that easy and genuinely happy smile now and it still gave her butterflies.

“Yeah, you do look pretty stiff,” Jo said with a little laugh. 

“I look pretty miserable, but in truth, I was,” Alex said a little awkwardly as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Are you glad to hear that?” 

“No, I'm not,” Jo said, looking back at him as she quickly put the photo frame back on the table. “A year ago, I would have been, but all my anger has faded away, and I loved you enough to hope that you were happy.”

“Are you happy, with your new job and with Luna?” Alex asked, his face so desperate to know that she was happy, that he hadn't ruined her life like he had ruined his own.

“Yeah, I'm happy,” Jo said, giving him a smile despite how it was the truth, she knew that her smile didn't quite reach her eyes. “I did a Christmas photo with Luna last year. I was able to come in on my day off, and I put her in this frilly little red Christmas dress that she absolutely hated, so I had to switch it out for a little plaid shirt that said baby’s first Christmas. It just makes me think that now we both have Christmas photos with our children, our families, but not with each other.”

Jo hadn't taken her eyes off of him and Alex looked back up, catching her gaze. His eyes pulled her in like they always did, and his sad look faded away to one of longing, the kind of longing he always had for her. Jo forgot about the pull he had on her when they were together, but now that they were together again, that pull was back. As she looked at him, she wondered how she was ever able to resist him. 

Alex looked up at her again, staring into her eyes with that look. She knew that look of love oh so well. It was the same look of love and longing that he used to give her when they were fighting and he wanted to go back to her. It made her heart sore and beat a little faster in her chest. It gave her more hope than she knew she should have. He leaned in, tilting his head just a little bit as her eyes glanced down to his lip. 

She knew it was a bad idea, and she knew that she shouldn't, but she couldn't help but lean into him and tilt her head. She could feel his warm breath on her cheek as she reached up and put a hand on his chest, feeling his heart against her palm as he reached up and held her hand there. They were so close that they could touch and she could feel his hot breath on her lips.

Suddenly his phone buzzed and it seemed to break the spell that was around them. Alex moved his hand from her knee as he glanced at the text. “Izzie’s on her way home with the kids.” 

“I should go,” Jo said standing up, he may have been comfortable with cheating, but Jo certainly wasn't, especially if the other woman was coming back with two children, who were innocent in everything. 

“Wait Jo,” Alex said, standing up as she turned back to look at him. “We're not together.”

“What?” Jo asked, taking in his desperate expression. 

“I lied in the letter. We were never together. I've been staying in the spare bedroom upstairs rather than at my own place so I can spend time with the kids. Especially with covid and everything last year,” Alex said with a bit of a sheepish look as he glanced down at his hands. 

Jo nodded as she slowly absorbed the news. When she read the letter, a part of her knew that he was lying, that the Alex Karev that she knew would have never betrayed her like that. She knew he would have never fallen out of love with her so quickly, but hearing him actually say it was a little bit of a relief. 

“I should still go,” Jo said, although she made no attempt to leave.

“Stay. please.” Alex asked, holding his hand out to her. “Look, Luna is already asleep in the guest bedroom and it's too late to find a hotel. If you really want to go in the morning, I’ll help you get a hotel or I'll drive you back to the airport so you can go home. But it's been a long day and you should rest.” 

Jo nodded as he looked at his hand and she knew he was right. She was absolutely exhausted. She felt like she could just lay down, close her eyes, and be asleep in five minutes. Besides, if she got Luna up now, it'd be almost impossible to get her back down, then they would both be miserable throughout the night. Plus, the knowledge that he and Izzie weren't together was enough to make her stay.

Alex smiled and nodded and put his hand on her back as they walked down the hall to the guest bedroom. Jo checked on Luna while Alex stood there in the doorway, reluctant to enter but still watching over her. Luna was thankfully still sleeping peacefully. Her girl could sleep anywhere, and Jo was so thankful for that because as much as she tried to keep the turbulence out of her life, it seemed to follow them wherever they went. Jo tucked the blanket around Luna and ran her fingers through her tufts of blond hair, pulling on the hat that had slipped off her head. 

She blew her a kiss before she looked around the room. It was a simple guest room with white fluffy throw pillows, and Jo was a little afraid to break the perfect room. Thankfully, Alex decided to come in, and he started grabbing the throw pillows to toss onto the chair, and Jo related as she pulled back the covers. Next, Alex went into a little closet and grabbed two towels and a washcloth, putting them on the end of the bed.

“The bathrooms just through that door there, so you can take a shower now or later, and there's a guest toothbrush and shampoo and stuff if you need it,” Alex says as he finished getting things ready for her, before just sticking his hands in his jeans pocket and giving a little shrug. 

Jo smiled as she looked down, a little nervous too. “Thanks, a shower sounds really nice.”

“Yeah, I figured,” Alex said with a smile, he knew her routine and how she liked a shower at the end of a long day. “If you or Luna get hungry, there's food in the kitchen, and if you need anything else, just let me know.” 

“Thanks, she usually doesn't get up in the middle of the night, but she's an early bird so,” Jo said with a shrug, she wasn’t sure if she’d feel comfortable tiptoeing around someone else's kitchen in the early morning, so she prayed that Luna would sleep in, especially given their late night.

“Well, we're all early birds around here too, but I'll tell the twins to keep quiet, so they don't wake you guys up,” Alex said with a little chuckle as he talked about his kids before he shrugged. “Um, I guess just sleep well, and let me know if you need anything else.” 

They could both feel like a little twinge of love that was still between them, but she could tell that he was holding back, unwilling to act on it. She would be lying if she said she wasn't a little relieved. As much as she wanted him to, considering the state she was in, she was happy that they didn't take things further. Her emotions were running high and she knew that in the morning, things would change. Izzie and the twins would be home and she and Luna would have to go back to Seattle. They'd go back to their separate lives because he left her, and that wouldn't change with one night of comfort, as much as she wanted it to. 

“Thank you for everything. For taking in me and my daughter when you didn't have to,” Jo said, looking at him as she held the towel to her chest.

“What, you think I was gonna tell you to get off my porch and go find a hotel?” Alex said, joking just a little bit as his lips curled up into that Karev smile, but she looked away because that's exactly what she thought he might do. “Oh Jo, despite everything between us, I'd never turn you away. In fact, of all the places you could go, I'm glad you came here.”

“Me too,” Jo said, with a smile as she looked down, hoping he didn't see the way her cheeks turned pink. “Thank you again for always being there for me.”

“Of course,” Alex said, with a shrug as if it was nothing.

“Do you want to put her down?” Alex asked as Jo just nodded. “There's a guest room down the hall.”

“I brought the pack and play. It's in the car, but I left a baby monitor at home,” Jo said, closing her eyes and letting out a breath as a few more tears fell. “I’m sorry, I’m sure you're not set up to house a toddler.”

“Hey, it's okay, it's okay,” Alex said, rubbing his hand up and down her arm. “I'll go get it and we can set it up in the guest bedroom. It's right down the hall, so you'll be able to hear her if she wakes up again.”

Jo just nodded, and he gave her shoulders one more squeeze before he ran out to the car. Luckey, Jo hadn't bothered to lock it and he grabbed the pack and play from the trunk, along with Jo’s suitcase and her other bag that was filled with more of Luna’s things. He brought everything inside and Jo got up and quietly followed him to the guest bedroom. He put the bag by the closet and quickly set up the pack and play as Jo got out another blanket and gently put Luna down. Jo bent over into the pack and play and pressed the kiss to her forehead before taking off her jacket and putting it over her, despite the two blankets Luna was already wrapped in. 

With Luna asleep, they both tiptoed back down to the hall. As soon as they entered the living room, Jo started sobbing again. Alex wrapped his arm around her and held her close, almost picking her up as they walked back over to the couch. As he sat down, Jo crawled into his arms. She buried her face in his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his neck as she cried. She leaned against him and it seemed that she had nothing but tears as Alex just held her closer. 

It broke his heart to see her like this. The last time she had broken down like this was the night before Paul died. He had taken her home and she had just broken down in the entryway of the Loft. That night she had cried herself to sleep and Alex wondered if she would cry herself to sleep tonight. She just clung to him and sobbed into his shoulder. He just held her and comforted her, rubbing his hand up and down her back. Despite everything between them, he would always comfort her.

After several long minutes, her tears tapered off. Her breathing was even and easy, and Alex thought that she had fallen asleep, but then Jo let out a deep breath and pulled away from him. He grabbed the tissue box from the coffee table, and she gently wiped her face, trying her best to wipe away the mascara tracks that trailed down her cheeks. As she wiped her face, she shuffled back and moved off of his lap. Although she still sat next to him, facing him and looking down to where their knees still touched.

“I'm sorry,” Jo said with a shake of her head and wiping her eyes again. “I don't know why I came here.”

“Hey, no, it's okay. I’m glad you came here. I'm glad you felt safe enough to come here. I know that that, that we...” Alex trailed off, but he reached out and placed a hand on her knee before she looked up and caught his eye. “I'm just glad that you still trust me enough to come to me. You can always come to me for anything, Jo.”

Jo nodded again, curling the tissue into a ball, despite how a few stray tears fell down her cheeks. She quickly wiped them away, but as she wiped her lip, it started to bleed again. 

“Why don't I get you some ice for your lip and your wrist, and maybe some hot chocolate or something,” Alex said, waiting for her to give him a nod before he got up and went over to the kitchen. “Have you eaten yet? We've got some leftover soup, or I could make up some mac and cheese.”

“Um, no, I haven't eaten, but whatever you got is fine, and some ice would be good. I put an ice pack on my wrist before we left, but I couldn't bring it on the plane with us,” Jo said as she looked around the room.

Alex quickly made up the mac and cheese after giving her a new ice pack. He also made them each a cup of hot chocolate as it was way too late for coffee. He remembered the hot chocolate she had gotten for him when he told her the story about how his dad left him in a bar parking lot. Since then it had become a little tradition of there's to give the other hot chocolate late at night when they wanted a little extra comfort.

Jo was still looking around the farmhouse’s living room, and he could tell what she was thinking. It was definitely Izzie’s kind of style. With the brown couch by the fireplace and the exposed beams above them against the white shiplap on the walls. Although the house was far from pristine. In fact, it was a complete mess with things strewn around the room and the laundry still on the armchair. Eli and Alexis's toys were littered everywhere, and Alex kicked some of their Legos out of the way as he walked back to her. 

He placed a plate of mac and cheese and the mug of hot chocolate in front of her. Jo took the ice pack and held it to her wrist as he put the first aid kit on his lap. She looked down before turning her head and letting him look at her lip. The cut on her lips wasn't too bad, and the bleeding had stopped as he put a little antibiotic ointment on it. Then he looked at her wrist. It was swollen and bruised but thankfully not broken, and he wrapped it. 

Alex's blood boiled as he looked at what that guy had done to her. He didn't know how anyone could do this to Jo. He didn't know how someone could look at her and want to hurt her. Not when her smile could light up a room and make his day a hundred times better. How could anyone want to take that light from inside her? 

Jo seemed to read his thoughts as she looked at him. She was always good at reading his face and he tried to let his anger fall from his expression. Still, she didn't say anything as he cleaned her up. 

She took a few bites of the mac and cheese before she pushed the plate away. “I should save some for Luna. She’s barely eaten anything since lunch. I mean, she had some milk and crackers on the plane, but that was a couple of hours ago.”

“It's fine, Jo, just eat. If she gets up, I'll make her some more,” Alex said as he gently moved the plate closer to her, trying to get her to take a few more bites and smiling when she did. “I'm guessing Luna loves mac and cheese as much as you do.”

“Yeah,” Jo said, smiling for the first time, and he tried not to let her see how it took his breath away. “It didn't help that it was pretty much the only thing I could make when I first brought her home.” 

Alex smiled at the thought of Jo making her daughter mac and cheese, and he wondered how much they were alike given how in sync they were. He looked back down the hall at the door, wondering.

“Luna’s not yours if that's what you were thinking,” Jo said, catching his eyes as he looked back at her. “I adopted her.”

“No, I didn't think,” Alex trailed off with a shake of his head.

“It's okay,” Jo said with a shrug. “The dates kind of match up, but.”

“Not the hair,” Alex said as he smiled, thinking of the short puffs of blonde hair she had that matched Jo's current short blonde hair. “You look good, by the way, it suits you.”

“Thanks,” Jo said, her good cheek flushing red with a blush as she looked down. “I just felt like I needed a change, and I don't know. I guess I kind of wanted to look like her a little bit. I keep trying to put her in bows or headbands, but she hates it and just rips them off, and she doesn't have enough hair for pigtails yet.” 

Jo smiled as she talked about her daughter, and Alex couldn't help but smile back at her. She lit up in a way that he had never seen before. She was filled with such love for her daughter and it was a kind of love that Alex always wanted for her. He always thought that he would be the one to make her mother, but he didn't. He remembered how hesitant she was to have kids, not because she didn't want them, but because she wanted to ensure that she could give them a good life. A better life than either of them had, as she talked, he knew that she was giving her daughter the life that she deserved, that both of them deserved.

“She loves hats, though. She has this knitted hat that, um, someone made for her with this little pink pom-pom on it, and it's her favorite. I had to ask them to make a second one just so I can wash it every now and again,” Jo said with a shake of her head.

“That sounds like someone else I know,” Alex said, remembering how she used to fight him to wash the scarf his mom made for her. She always complained that it didn’t smell right after he washed it. “So you adopted her?”

“Yeah, her mom, Val, was my patient. She came into the ER with some stomach pain and we figured out that she was pregnant. It turned out she had an abdominal pregnancy. Luna was on her liver,” Jo said with a smile.

“No, are you serious? She had an abdominal pregnancy!” Alex said, his jaw dropping. “I’ve only seen one other case in my entire career!” 

“Yeah, Luna was just hanging out there. Val didn’t even know she was pregnant until she came in. So we operated and delivered Luna, but there was too much damage to Val’s liver. Over the next couple of weeks, she deteriorated and she died.” 

Jo paused, looking down at her hands. The tears that were in her eyes collected again. Alex reached out again, shifting closer to her and putting his arm around her as she leaned forward. Jo let the tears fall on her jeans before she wiped her cheek with the tissue he had given her. She looked up at him as he offered her another tissue and took it with a shack of her head before she continued.

“After that, I watched over Luna in the NICU. The way her social worker was, I just knew that I couldn't let Luna go into foster care. No matter what kind of good home her social worker said she had. I know that kind of promise and how it's almost always a lie. Then I realized I wanted her to come home with me, that I wanted to be her mom, so I petitioned to adopt her. However, I was rejected because of my past.”

“I'm sorry, Jo,” Alex said, shaking his head, even though he knew it all worked out.

He knew her past and could guess what part of it was that disqualified her from the adoption. He stole food to feed his siblings and she stole a car so she'd have a safe place to sleep. For their crimes, they both ended up in juvie and jail. What no one realized at the time was that the two of them were just trying to survive their childhood.

“I ended up selling the shares in the hospital and using the money to pay for a lawyer. She helped me and it took nearly a year, but now Luna is mine,” Jo couldn't help but smile as she looked at him. Despite everything, she looked truly happy when she spoke about her daughter. 

“I always knew you'd adopt one of the orphan NICU babies one day,” Alex said with a smile, he was glad she had found happiness in her life.

“Yeah, I know,” Jo said, smiling as she looked down the hall to where the guest bedroom was. “I just couldn't help it. After everything that happened, I just fell in love with her.”

Alex’s smile faltered for a second as he knew that some of that pain was because of him. Jo took a sip of her hot chocolate as he looked down to where she was holding ice against her wrist. He wanted to ask about him, and he could tell that she wanted to tell him what happened, but she was still hesitant to do so. Yet, he knew that just like all the times before, she would tell him when she was ready. 

There was a reason she came here, that she had run to him. He wasn't sure, but he guessed that it was because she still thought of him as her safe place. Alex was still going to be there for her despite everything. After all, he’d be lying if he said he didn't love her. The truth is, he never fell out of love with her. However, Jo didn’t need that right now, and he didn't want to take advantage of her. What she needed from him right now was just for him to be there for her, to provide a safe refuge, and of course, he would do that for her.

“He was the second guy I dated since….” Jo trailed off as she looked down at her wrist, her smile had left her face, and a heaviness settled upon them. “It was so hard to move on after you left.”

Alex looked down at his hands, avoiding her eyes when she looked up, and he was glad he did especially with what she said next. “I slept with Jackson after you left.”

“You what?!” Alex’s head shot up before he schooled his features and looked down again. “I mean, oh, okay.” 

Jo bit his lip to hide a smile, but it quickly disappeared. “It's okay, I'm sure you're surprised. I just, I needed a bridge. I didn't know how to be single, or anything after you left, and Jackson was safe. So I asked him if I could sleep with him, and it was about as awkward as you can imagine, and it wasn’t easy,” Jo said, shaking her head and hiding away, by covering her cheek with the ice and looking away.

He knew that Jo would move on after he left, but it still hurt to hear about it. It especially hurt to hear how hard it was for her. When he left, he knew that she would move on. It hurt to imagine anyone else next to her. He had made a vow to her, till death do they part, and breaking that promise felt like breaking his whole world. Still, he wanted her to be happy, even if it was with someone else. He hoped that she would find a man so much better than he was. Who would never leave her and would make her feel safe. But she didn't find someone better. He hurt her and seeing what he had done to her filled Alex with a rage that he had long since put to rest.

“He wasn't the first guy that I dated. But he was the first guy that I really liked. I should have known better. I always pick bad guys, but I thought for sure that he was good. But he was just like all the other guys I’ve dated, except for you,” Jo said as she looked up at him, her eyes full of tears. “You are the best man I've ever loved. You were good to me when no one else was.”

Alex stared into her eyes as Jo reached out for his hand. He took it without a second thought and gave it a squeeze. He looked down at their hands for a second before he looked up at her. Jo’s eyes glistened with tears, but they were also full of love for him. That love was reflected in his own eyes, but all they did was stare at each other.