#sirossa

Here I am again, rowing a boat instead of managing my main ship lol. Canonverse Simon x Estarossa again, ladies and gentlemen. Gods, get me out. 😂😂😂

Special thanks to @galfridus1 for being my wonderful beta, I shouldn't be allowed to write without you lol.

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It was all a mistake, and Estarossa can't believe that instead of facing the problem, he is running away from it. Well, it is typical; he has always been known as a coward. However, can you blame him? He had been subjected to constant pain from the very moment he was born, and now that he was free from the commandments, free from his father, he should have been allowed to be happy… Ironic, love is supposed to be something that completes one's life, he just happened to fall for him.

Tears were threatening to fall as he realizes the consequences of learning what love meant, it isn’t fair, finally feeling genuine happiness but also knowing that it won't last much longer. He shakes his head, refusing to let the tears fall as he keeps walking briskly through the halls of the Liones castle.

He tries to forget it all, blue eyes staring back at him, gentle hands reaching out to cup his cheeks and soft lips against his.

This time, the tears refuse to be held back.

A sob escapes his lips, a part of him wanting to stop and to drown in the emotions, but he has to keep walking. He tries to wipe the tears away, wanting to run, not only from him but also from the pain swallowing his hearts.

Gods, it hurts.

A hand suddenly grabs his wrist, stopping him in his tracks as he turns to see who has stopped him. No, he already knows who it is, knows that he will see a pair of sapphire blue eyes along with his bluish silver hair.

"Estarossa." He can feel his legs giving out just hearing his name from his lips, trying not to fall on his knees as he looked at his eyes. Gods, he misses him so much, but he has to keep avoiding him, he has to let go… 

"Please talk to me." He shuts his eyes, a useless attempt to stop the tears from falling as Simon still holds his wrist.

"Sai, please let go, I need to go to Meliodas." He says, struggling to keep his voice even when all he wants is to fall into his arms and give in.

"Is it something I did?" He ignores him, persistent as he is as Estarossa can no longer handle hearing his voice further. He needs him to let go, and he needs to let him go.

"If it is, I'm sorry you know I wouldn't even dare to hurt you!" A part of him wants to explain why he is doing this, but he can't. Something within him forbidding him to tell him, knowing it'll make the situation worse.

"Estarossa, please." The desperation in his voice hurts, he could almost feel how pained he is… how hurt the both of them are. 

"Simon, I can't--- we can't---" He cannot get the words out of his throat, shaking, hating himself for sucking at acting this much. Whoever can handle a situation like this with a straight face, must have a heart made out of ice. 

"We can't what? Be together? Was it all a game then? You just came into my life to hurt me like this-" His orbs widen, lips falling apart at his accusation. He can't believe that he's heard something so painful from him but at the same time he cannot blame him. Simon is angry, confused and frustrated, he has left him out of the blue without any explanation, leaving him wondering what he did wrong. It is his fault that he is this pained.

"I would never---" 

"Then if you love me then why?!" He can't tell him..  he shouldn't.

"Simon, please… I'm tired." He knows Simon will never listen, tears falling down his cheeks as his voice sounds so strained. 

"No." He insists. "Not until you tell me what's wrong." 

"There's nothing wrong-"

"You're lying."

"Simon, please."

"Estarossa." He shuts his eyes again from frustration. 

"It's just that--- it's just---" He cannot get the words out, doesn’t know how to start, hearts racing as the tears kept falling. He just wants to get all of this over, he is exhausted, both physically and mentally.

"You're a human---" He mentally curses himself, knowing that his reason sounds off, and before he can explain, he can feel Simon getting angry.

"Of course,” he says sarcastically, laughing despite the pain as he looks coldly into Estarossa's eyes. "I'm just a human, weak and nothing compared to the high prince of the demon clan!”

Estarossa shakes his head in protest, holding Simon's arms from the second he let go, not allowing him to go through pain from a false assumption. 

"No, listen!" 

"There's no way a prince would actually love me! I'm nothing compared to him!"

"Simon-"

"Fuck Estarossa, I can't believe that you'd be this low---"

"I could outlive you!" he snaps, having had enough of all the painful things Simon is saying. The accusations sound painful no matter how he tries to understand, he can't take it.

He should have known him better... 

The knight can only look at him with wide eyes, regretting every word he has said… not in his entire life had he heard Estarossa getting angry.

"I could outlive you! I'll see you age, I'll see you get old, I'll see you fucking die." He is unable to hold himself back at this point. "And I'm tired! I'm tired of getting hurt! I'm tired of constantly crying and feeling helpless! I want none of this!" 

"I d-don't want---" He could feel his legs give out, as he fell on his knees, shaking.

"I do-don't want to see you die." Simon stands there, not knowing what to do as Estarossa keeps crying in front of him.

He doesn’t know how long it takes before some knights arrive, Slader pulling him from where he stands as he cannot tear his gaze from Estarossa. Meliodas and Elizabeth are both helping him up, still refusing to look at him.

And he pleads… 

He pleads to see Estarossa's eyes, not knowing that it could be the last.

I love them so much, it hurts.

Just a little fic celebrating this crackship i picked out of nowhere, so here they are. :)

Special thanks to @galfridus1 for being my beta for this fic! Love lots!

☆☆☆☆

Estarossa glanced at his phone with a sigh, face flushed with the idea his mind had given him. However, he simply couldn't sit still without working on the project he had decided was necessary. He stuffed his phone back in his pocket, not bothering to exit the gallery, the picture of a young man with long silver hair and sapphire eyes eventually disappearing from the screen as it went pitch black.

His workspace was a mess. Zeldris had constantly complained about how messy it was but he couldn't bring himself to care since he knew exactly where to find what he needed. Containers of different kinds of paint were lying everywhere, some particular brands were on the floor, while some were on tables along with brushes he could no longer count. 

The paintings he had were everywhere as well, some finished ones and things that he would never complete were lined up to the side, while those he liked a lot, or those projects he had for himself were on the wall. His favourite was a painting of him and his brothers, it was difficult to miss since it was the biggest canvas on the wall and the first thing one would see upon entering the room.

He wrinkled his nose, the smell of different paints lingering around the room as he decided to open the window before picking up an empty canvas. for the moment, he ignored how messy all his things were, picking up the materials he needed to start his project.

He shut his eyes, the image of Simon in his mind rather clearer than anticipated. From the shape of his face, the color of his eyes, the direction where the strands of his hair fell as a memory of his laughing flashed before his eyes. He smiled at the memory, Simon had been laughing back then as he shared the pranks Meliodas use to pull off on him and Zeldris, he had looked so beautiful then.

He bit his lower lip, looking at empty canvas, before picking up the brush he needed to start his painting. His hand and the brush danced gracefully over the canvas, staining the once pure white surface with colors as he finally gave it some use. He was far too focused on his work, not even noticing that paint had started to stain his hands, cheeks and nose and even his shirt as he went on.

From the clothes he wore, the color of his skin, to the strands of his hair, he paid close attention to it, wanting nothing but to perfect the image in his head. He always enjoyed painting hairs, although it was what took most of his time, usually spending hours in lighting and shading until he was satisfied. It was his first time painting Simon’s hair, and he loved how it was in a shade of silver with a hint of blue, a color only slightly different from his own.

He didn't notice the time that passed at all, had it been minutes? Hours? Probably hours, but he didn't bother to check. He usually stepped back to look at his progress, going to the bathroom once in a while, sometimes going to the fridge to pick up something to eat.

Before he knew it, he only had to color the eyes before finishing it, usually he painted them first, not understanding why he saved it for last this time.

He picked a paintbrush up again, dipping it over the paint with exactly the same hue as Simon's eyes, painting for the first layer before moving with the lighting and shading. He hoped he'd be able to capture the shine they usually had, he usually did, but the perfectionis within him were starting to give he doubts.

He took a deep breath, taking a step backwards as he looked at the painting, smiling to himself as he saw the results. He might notice some things tomorrow about it and add some finishing touches but he was happy at the result.

He took the phone out of his pocket again, swallowing nervously to see Meliodas' missed calls and one missed call from Zeldris.

At least he was done for today. 

~

"What's the point of coming to a bar when you're not gonna drink?" Simon laughed, wiping few glasses as Estarossa glared at him, sitting by the counter as a glass was left untouched in front of him, the ice melting slowly.

"You know why I won't."

"Yeah, you made an absolute fool of yourself once---"

"Simon." He cut him off, face starting to burn red. He had absolutely no memory of what had happened, all he knew was that he got dragged here once after his classmates found out Meliodas owned this bar, he got too drunk and one of the staff finally contacted his brother about what was going on. Simon took care of him while waiting for Meliodas to pick him up. The following day, Alioli had been nice enough to send him pictures of what he did.

He was absolutely embarrassed, personally going to the bar to apologize to the staff and particularly to Simon for what he did. The taller silverette had laughed of course, telling him he had experienced far more worse.

It didn't sound reassuring, he just wanted the earth to swallow him whole.

He was thankful however, it had been the reason he had met Simon. He had tried to make it up to him though and they eventually became close friends. That's when he realized that things do happen for a reason.

"Estarossa! Stop flirting with the bartender and join us!" Arden laughed from his table, Estarossa blushing before cursing under his breath, not really wanting to drink tonight. With a sigh, he drank what was in the glass in front of him, it mostly tasted like water now.

"I am not held responsible for whatever kind of nonsense you'll see today." 

"Don't worry that much, I'll look after you just like before." He chuckled, the shorter silverette eventually excusing himself. 

Estarossa immediately knew it was a mistake to step in the bar. He was sure he was going to regret having more than a single glass, his tolerance just wasn’t as good as his brothers. 

He groaned, having no memory of the previous night at all as he buried his face in his pillow. His head was aching, and he promised himself for the second time that he would never drink again. He was good at keeping promises, the peer pressure on this one was just annoying.

He didn't want to check his phone…He was sure Alioli or Arden had sent him pictures of his nonsense already.

"Oh, good morning Estarossa!" He lifted his bed off the pillow, hearing Elizabeth as he pushed himself off the mattress. The woman smiled at him, bringing him a glass of water and he immediately knew it was for him.

"You shouldn't have---"

"No, it's fine… you looked pretty awful last night." His face burned red, not really remembering anything at all. He just murmured his thanks, drinking the water that was given to him and feeling like he had been thirsty for ages. 

He really wanted to no longer live in the mansion, Meliodas was married and it felt awkward to be around. However, the blonde had insisted for him to stay after Zeldris started living with Arthur, saying such big house felt lonely with only the two of them.

"Umm… where's Meliodas by the way?" He asked, knowing that his brother probably had picked him up. He should contact Simon soon, to thank him after promising to look after him.

"He hasn’t been home since last night, he went out with his friends, according to Elaine anyway." That made him confused, then who brought him home? No one else could have picked him up but Meliodas. 

"One of the staff members from the bar were nice enough to call a taxi to get you home, it was getting late so I asked him to stay for tonight as well." He had seemingly forgot about his headache as his mind started screaming. His painting, his painting! Simon is here! He'll see his painting! He just knows that it's Simon!

"Where is he?" He asked immediately, his heart beating rapidly at the idea of him seeing the painting. He just can't! He wouldn’t know how to explain it!

"He wanted to wait for you to wake up before he left so I allowed him to look around the mansion for a bit. He's really amazed with your paintings on the walls." With that, Estarossa had threw himself out of bed, running towards his workplace. Elizabeth had called out for him, but he didn't listen, far more worried about Simon finding the painting he had only just finished.

A painting of him…

He could feel his leg freeze as he found himself by the doorstep of his workspace, the color of his face draining as he saw Simon standing right in front of the painting in question. He was just standing in front of the canvas, which he hadn't lifted from his easel stand, his hands gently rested over the painting.

He couldn't hear himself breathe. 

Simon suddenly turned his head, probably after noticing his presence, making him look down to the floor as he bit his lower lip. He didn't know what to say, thoughts that were giving him anxiety started flooding his mind as he gripped on the hem of his shirt.

He didn't know what to say either, unable to make himself look directly at his face.

"I… I'm sorry…" For what? For painting him without permission? For falling in love with him? He had no idea which. He tried not to tremble, trying to figure out what to say next. He didn't even know if he should be genuine or make an excuse. It was driving him insane, he feels like he could cry.

"Es-"

"I ju-just really like you a lot I didn't know how to handle it, I'm sorry." He blurted out of panic, wanting to curse for his tactlessness. There was no excuse for this, he had no other choice.

"I like you a lot, Simon." He forced himself to look up, his face as red as his crimson paint, wanting to see Simon's reaction. He couldn't read him, he looked shocked somehow, suddenly sighing and looking away while scratching his head. He bit his lips again, heart racing as he waited for the response.

"Honestly…" He started off, gaze still elsewhere as if he's thinking of something deeply. "I didn't expect that you'd tell me first before I could." 

He must have been hearing things, his blue eyes going wide, his mouth agape with surprise. The implication of what he just told him just wouldn’t sink it as he stared at Simon in disbelief. 

"I like you too, Es." Yep, he was definitely hearing things. This was the hangover making a fool out of him, nothing more.

"Although I'm quite sure that you told me you love me last night."  Estarossa's face turned crimson, now far scared of what else he did last night.

"What else did I do last night?!" The other silverette was smirking now, leaving him absolutely terrified.

"Well you tried to kis-"

"Simon!"

"And did."

"Oh my god." He was drowning in embarrassment now, face still red as Simon kept laughing at him. He kissed him and he didn’t even remember it, he feels awful. 

But if Estarossa was to choose, this was better… he had expected much worse, all the 'what if's in his head weren't just pleasant as this was an outcome he never expected. 

"What's wrong with it! It's as cute as you are!"

It was quiet. Estarossa sat on the sofa, chewing his lip and not really watching whatever was on the TV, the sound of the show droning on in the background. He could feel sweat begin to line the palm of his hand, his heart pattering like rain in his chest. This was after all a pretty big step. And suppose Simon said no…

He glanced over at the man sitting beside him. Maybe it was the similarity of their colouring which he found so attractive, Estarossa wondered as he examined the shining silver hair and bright, periwinkle eyes of his boyfriend. Or perhaps it was because Simon had a confidence he would never himself possess, for all the difference in advantage between their two upbringings. He had been to the best private schools, graduated from a top university, while Simon had finished his education as soon as he could, leaving home and working menial jobs to get by. And still his partner was so sure of himself, determined, authoritative and always unfazed.

“S-Simon,” Estarossa stuttered.

“Hmm?” The other pulled his eyes from the screen to look over at him, and obviously caught something in Estarossa’s expression. Reaching for the remote, Simon switched off the TV and swung his legs around, tucking them under himself as he turned to face Estarossa full on. “What is it?” he asked, his habitual ascerbic tone softened considerably. “You look as if you’re about to faint.”

Estarossa drew in a deep breath. “I… um… Zeldris asked me to be his best man, well one of them,” he clarified as Simon regarded him carefully. “Me and Meliodas.”

Simon rolled his eyes, and Estarossa felt a laugh bubble up in his stomach, before he remembered what he next had to say and the mirth was killed in an instant. “Let me guess, that was your brother’s idea. Honestly, Meliodas sounds like a nightmare.”

“He is a bit,” Estarossa said with a smile. “Anyway, I sort of said yes, or it was said for me. And it means I’ll have to go to the wedding.”

“Well, of course.” Simon’s brows drew together and he placed his hands in his lap. “I did expect you’d be going to your own brother’s wedding.”

“Yeah, but… Ug I don’t know how to put it. I mean, I’ll kind of be on display?” Estarossa sighed. “Everyone will be looking.”

Simon cocked his head, his eyes practically boring into Estarossa’s who quickly looked down at the leather fabric of the sofa. “I still don’t understand your point,” Simon said slowly. “What are you worried about, exactly?”

“I… um… I mean… will you come with me?” Estarossa kept his eyes on the sofa, noticing a few crumbs caught in the seams of the stitching. When the silence continued, he forced himself to say, “Will you come with me as my plus one?” At this he forced himself to look up, relief running through him as he saw Simon’s smile.

“I take it you are asking if I want us to be public?” When Estarossa nodded, Simon’s grin broadened, the thin skin round his eyes crinkling in the most adorable way. “Of course. As long as you’re comfortable. I told you, I wanted to make our relationship official a while back. If you’re ready then…”

“I’m ready.” Estarossa returned the pressure as Simon took his hand in his own. “But… I have to warn you, my family are snobs. And so are their friends. They might…” Estarossa’s eyes slid back down to the sofa, his cheeks flushing pink as Simon laughed.

“Are you saying that you’ve not introduced me to your family because of my background? Good lord Estarossa, I assumed you just didn’t want to come out!”

Estarossa looked up sharply at this. “No!” he said firmly. “I… my brothers can both be so stupid,” he complained with a whine. “As if it matters how much money we have. As if that somehow makes us better than other people. I hate it!” he cried. “I really hate it. And if they say anything bad to you…”

“Then I’ll tell them exactly where they can go.” Simon smiled more softly this time, Estarossa feeling a warmth bloom in his chest. “I can stick up for myself don’t you worry, and you’re not your brothers. I promise I won’t think any less of you if they behave like pricks. Will that do? Can you relax now?”