#sionewrites

A custody war immediately broke out between Robin and Eddie, both claiming that they could take good care of Steve and that the other shouldn't be trusted with a kid. The only reason Nancy and Jonathan didn't join the fistfight was because they already had their own younger siblings to worry about, but it didn't stop them from adding their opinions on who should take Steve in until he turned back to his big self.

What made it difficult for Eddie's poor heart, however, was Steve's tendency for oversharing. And now, Eddie had to live with the knowledge that: a) Steve was bi; b) Steve used to have something going on with Tommy and Carol, Nancy and Jonathan, Jeff (that fucking traitor!), and Argyle; and c) Steve had a puppy crush on Wayne (sweet Jesus on the crackers).

He'd heard so many tales regarding the fair and mighty Sir Stephen that he'd been itching to prove Henderson and Sinclair wrong. Unfortunately, he hadn't had the chance yet. But now, though, with Harrington and the kids all presented, it was the perfect time to do his good work.

Enter Eddie who flirts as a habit, but it works all the time since he's lowkey charming without trying to. It's not his fault that people falls for his nerdy jokes and gets offended when he shows no interest in them. As a firm believer of true love and monogamy, he finds it funny when people starts calling him a fuckboy out of spite.

And then one day, Steve and Eddie finally run into each other. A player and a player. Or so the rumors have it.

Steve doesn't think about how Eddie's gonna break his heart when he keeps giggling at the other man's jokes. Doesn't let other people's opinions cloud his judgment. Because he's experienced enough to know when someone's genuinely interested in him, and Eddie certainly seems more than hooked.

Meanwhile, Eddie's already gone the moment Steve smiles that pretty smile at him. He'll be damned if he doesn't marry this beautiful man by the end of the night.

Steve would laugh and roll his eyes when people mistook Eddie for his "boyfriend", whereas Eddie would straight up call Steve his wife whenever asked.

They got worse once Steve became a babysitter on the side. The gaggle of kids he was entrusted with wholeheartedly believed that Eddie was their other babysitter, and Eddie just dubbed himself as Papa Bear for the sake of his and Steve's inside joke.

It was all fun and games until they became roommates in college and woke up on the same bed one day, legs tangled and hair intertwined.

Though everyone else (except Eddie) kept telling him otherwise, he wasn't convinced. Steve might be a bit slow on the uptake, but he knew love when he saw it. And every fiber of him had melted when he saw Eddie Munson’s face upon opening his eyes.

There was no other reason for his heart to threaten to punch through his ribcage whenever Eddie looked at him. So yeah, boyfriend.

Dustin: He's not your boyfriend, Steven!

Steve: Are you like, homophibying me?

Dustin: Wha– I'm not homophobic! Eddie! Tell him you're not his boyfriend!

Eddie: Sorry, sweetheart. I'm not your boyfriend.

Steve: Oh.

Dustin: See? I told–

Eddie: I'm actually your husband.

Dustin: Dude.

Eddie: We've been married for ten years and these are our children.

Dustin: Dude!

Steve: Who's the mother?

Eddie: You, obviously.

Steve: Yeah, that tracks.

In the end, when Steve finally regained his memory and had another bathroom heart-to-heart with Robin, he silenced Eddie's profuse apologizing with a kiss. French style.

Steve: Will you be the father of my children?

Eddie: You will have to leave this town.

Steve: Okay.

Eddie: You will have to forget about your old friends.

Steve: I don't have friends.

Eddie: ... What about your parents? Think carefully, Steve. You will have to cut ties with them. Forever.

Steve: Yay