#siodederdam

Well not really venting. Just talking. I think I have not Tumblred like at all in over a year because I have only been doing jobs in retail and food service since graduating college. Which is kind of ridiculous considering I’m an introvert.

Wes told me being a pharmacy technician would be a great idea for me.

And it was indirectly.

CVS sucks. But I needed a big wake up call. That oh wait what you’ve been doing for four years is draining you out and making the highlight of your day sitting down and not talking type of wake up call.

I am an introvert and on a day I work even for a four hour shift I see over a hundred people. I don’t sit. I don’t even always get to take the 30 minute breaks I’m supposed to take (legally required actually) because it’s so busy all the time and there is too much shit to do for not enough people that are allowed to work because CVS thinks we don’t need that many people. Everyone I work with kinda hates to work there too.

I finally realized that it’s okay to be a bit selfish.

It’s okay to want a job that doesn’t drain you every day where you don’t get to sit down.

And it’s okay to want to work just weekdays with a steady schedule too.

The thing about pharmacy is that no one technically wants to be there.

Like people don’t want to have a cold really and they don’t want to have to pay for medicine to get better.

It would be just better if you didn’t have the cold and also didn’t have to pay money to fix it.

And these pissed off and miserable people only have pharmacy staff to be mad at. As if pharmacy staff can control the prices of medicine and the coverage their insurance provides and the lack of response from their prescribers.

But I do take pride in defusing people who have no reason to be mad at me.

I’ve ended up coming up with some great lines:

I hope the rest of your day goes better

(”It’s not your fault”) Yes I know but it’s still unfair to you

Thank you for being patient (because they were in line for 10 minutes and their shit still isn’t ready which sucks for everyone)

I’m good at it. I make pissed off people feel better with a smile on my face and kindness despite them being so angry at us.

But it’s so fucking exhausting.

Working at Twisties as a busser and hostess and working at Braxton’s as a clerk and shelf stocker type person never forced me into standing at a register for 4 hours and 45 minutes in a 5 hour shift which legit happened last week.

(btw I keep misspelling shift as shit oops)

I tolerated that kind of shit in small doses but now I’m engulfed by it every time I clock in to work.

So now at six and twenty I’m finally deciding to retrench.

(Jane Austen reference ha)

I know I’m not too old to do it. Still I kind of don’t know how.

Luckily I have my Wes to bear with me in all of this.

Yes parents and family and friends love you all and so grateful you’re in my life but like that man understands me better than all of them at least in the ways that only I have understood myself until him.

I’m a very lucky lady to wind up with a boyfriend like him who was still on the market at 35.

When people ask “how are you?” and don’t really care if you respond totally (happens in retail a lot) I might be grumpy and tired but I am always doing well because of him.

One year down and I’m sure many years to go with basically my best friend who I also kiss sometimes.

ANYWAY BACK TO VENTING

Like honestly I think I drifted off from Tumblr because basically I was too tired from the kind of jobs that I’ve been doing. Not just the physical aspect but just so many people all the time.

I want to feel up to checking in on a website and interacting. I don’t even do Facebook really anymore.

Tumblr was such a great thing for me.

I want it back.

I want me back.

Wow this shit got real deep real fast.

So basically maybe wish me luck in trying to get back to what I really want to do.

I would insert a gif here but I am (yet again) tired and don’t know how Tumblr works anymore.