I'm thinking so hard about that fucking thing where Brennan said his plan for what would have happened if Ricky had stayed dead was Esther bringing Ricky back as an angel by her side. Mainly just like, she'd need time in order to do that which means there was a long time where the dream team lost not only Kugrash but Ricky too. Do you think they'd tell Emiko? Would they have to lie to her about what happened? Do you think Esther had some nights where when she was searching for a way to bring him back that she considered necromancy? (I don't exactly know how d&d necromancy works but afaik I doubt it brings them back Right but do you think she still wanted to at least try because then he'd be back?) Was Kingston guilty that for whatever reason his rivification failed? Was a small part of Esther bitter that Kingston "failed"?
Esther never experienced a loss like that since her mom but even then her mom was at least still alive. She wasn't her but she was still there if and if I recall correctly, Esther did have some hope that her mom could come back (I could be very very wrong tho) it's just like Esther spent at least like a solid year falling in love with someone and the second that she was able to be with him, he died to save countless people's lives. The whole thing is just fucking me up
