#singletales

In relationships we can get a bit controlling. 

Some people have secure attachment styles which means they believe in the freedom to what they want and allow their partner to be free. Free meaning they don’t have to share the same friends, they don’t have to go to the same places or enjoy the same things, they don’t have to see each other 24/7. They believe in leading different lives. Now psychologist argue that our attachment styles are formed from our infancy. 

On the other hand you have people who aren’t securely attached and these are the ones we tend to label “insecure”. They want to tell you what to do and how and when. 

Dating an insecure person stylishly labeled as “trust issues” can be very exhausting and you may feel crowded especially if you cannot understand this person’s need to know where, what, when and how. This is titled Playing God because when it boils down to it that’s what the person really wish they were doing. If you are the person who is doing this my advice is to stop. “People are people and so people will be people” They need freedom to choose and to live their life and make their mistakes; don’t try to control their lives. Lord knows if it should go badly its all on your head. If you’re in the situation where you are dating someone controlling then decide “do I like this”. The fact is a lot of people have submissive personality types and actually like having someone control them but if it isn’t for you then I recommend that you find a way to end it. You can talk to the person, explain why this is irritating for you but if they decide not to compromise. STEP! right foot left foot.

PS

Bridge- “A structure carrying a road, path, railway etc. across a river, road or other OBSTACLE.

Sometimes the people we date are exactly that, a bridge. They save us or they were right there when we needed them, in a difficult time. They helped us over an obstacle, whether they know it or not. At times that's their only purpose after which we realize they don't fit into our lives.

I like to think of my life as a play with major and minor characters. Each must enter and each must exit. Some make their entrances more than others some never return to the stage after their first exit. I love my life and I really would not have it any other way. But I must admit that as the co-director of this splendorous play I jump on stage, I intervene, I send my actors off stage before time, I curse them out. I burn bridges.   

It took me 21yrs 11months and 10days, but Ive realized THIS IS NOT A GOOD THING! A few weeks ago, while complaining to my hairdresser (who btw is some 60 years and truly a dear friend) about a friend I had made and felt like I’d lost . She said to me, “Sherice you burn too many bridges and you must stop doing that.”

Ive realized that I should let my play run its course and people who have been good to me, very good to me, can be given a second chance if ever they hurt or offend me. “Fact is people are going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for”-Bob Marley. I often distance myself from people whether consciously or subconsciously done. I write this blog to say don't burn your bridges, don't get rid of people who have and can still benefit your life. Look into the situation take as much time to think see if its a forgivable offense and try to forgive.