#singlemomtransson

Let's help each other out through this and try to find our silver lining.

I’m reaching out to any trans guys that may be following my blog.  I’ve known that something’s been going on with Jake for a while...He started off school really strong but for a few weeks now his grades have been dropping, he hasn’t seemed himself, and last week I noticed he’d been wearing long sleeves a lot lately...It’s summer time but I chalked it up to him feeling dysphoric. When he wanted to go to bed in a sweatshirt I asked to see his arms and they were all cut up.  Tonight I got him to open up a bit and I’m scared for him. He told me sometimes when he walks to the bus stop he thinks about not stopping, and keeping going. To where? I don’t know, I don’t think he knows. He’s not happy at school though. He says no one wants to hang out with him. He’s always had trouble making and keeping friends but the older he gets, the more if affects him. He said he doesn’t fit in, no one likes him. He has one friend that’s trans at his school, Sam, but Sam doesn’t usually hang out with Jake and instead hangs out with either a kid that’s annoying to Jake and they don’t get along, or Sam hangs out with Zach, an older asshole who took advantage of Jake earlier this year...I think the fact that some of Jake’s on-again, off-again friends still hang out with Zach, after the incident, really hurts him. It hurts me for him.... Anyhow, I’m encouraging Jake to keep a journal and/or start a tumblr. I’m wondering if anyone might be willing to talk to him. I had my own share of problems in high school, had a long time there where I didn’t really have any friends to hang out with, but no matter what I went through it’s so much different for Jake. With him being trans he’s got so much more to deal with than I ever did and I can’t relate to what he’s going through. I love and support him and try to understand, but I haven’t been through it, I don’t know what it’s like. Does anyone have any suggestions or advice? 

I wanted to share this video with you all. This is the first video I watched when my son came out to me and I began learning about transgender people. I discovered it on a tumblr blog by his son.  I watched this video probably within a few days to a few weeks after my son came out to me. I would be more specific but my life was a blur for a while after Jake came out. This video spoke to me, deeply. I hope that by sharing it, it can help more parents, family, and friends can get what I got out of it and let it inspire them to love their child regardless of gender. It doesn’t matter what’s in someone’s pants, what’s on their chest, or what pronouns they want to use. A person is who they are inside. That’s what matters. Anyways, we’re coming up on the two year anniversary of Jake’s coming out to me. And I happen to be writing an essay for an English assignment right now; the topic is what I did when my son came out to me. I referred back to this video and realized, when I re-watched it, that this message needs to get out more. It helps to hear someone else’s story. It can reveal a new perspective. But while writing the essay I realized I wanted to share this video with you all, in case you haven’t seen it. And I hope that it can help someone else the way it helped me. 

Here's the boy showing off his new haircut he got last night at the conference. From what I understand Project Q from L.A. donated their time to provide free haircuts for those who wanted them here at the 2017 Gender Spectrum Conference.

I haven’t posted anything in a while. I just logged on and saw that I have had recent activity. I’m amazed and feel honored that I have over 300 followers. I never expected this to come out of me trying to get my feelings out and share my perspective, as a mother, truly and honestly, bluntly at times even though it may hurt someone’s feelings...even my own.  I want to say thank you. Thank you for being a part of this, thank you for caring, and for those of you that are trans, thank you for being you. And thank you to the guys that have reached out to me throughout the time I’ve been writing and have offered advice, support, and shared their stories. Thank you.

My son found this awesome shirt at a thrift store the other day. <3

My kid's talked about wanting a packer before and I've talked around it just because I'm not ready for that. Tonight I picked him up from GLAM and he was very excited because older friends of his made him a packer out of condoms and dish soap. He was laughing about it so I thought it was a joke, but no. He said he planned on using it as a packer. I know I'm not the one transitioning but its still hard for me, too, as his mom. I don't know why, can't place my finger on it, but I just feel like I'm not ready. Again, I know its not about me... Can someone please shed some light and help me understand? Is there anyone that can help me out with this?

I haven't posted anything in a long time, life's been settling down a bit, thankfully, but still busy. I had to share with you that Jacob walked in our town's Pride March today. I'm very proud of the young man he's becoming.