#singleand30

I really just have to start a thread on my blog because honestly it’s gonna make a really good book some day. Dating and being a single mom over 30, in Texas. Seriously. I can’t make this stuff up. Some of my best friends are still single and it’s crazy some of the stories we share over drinks and sushi. 

I have been single for tentatively 5 years since my divorce. I say that because I have dated, I went back to my ex husband for a year and I have had a few flings in that time. I really just don’t know what to say anymore. Some of the men I have encountered on my journey have taken the cake. I need to clarify something too, I am not perfect NOR do I hate men. I am not one of those over-zealous, hairy armpit, boycotts makeup because they feel like every single thing that isn’t exactly FOR women, is AGAINST women types either. I really am just the girl next door, who happens to like to lift weights and is trying to raise good kids. That’s all. So let’s start... 

I do absolutely have a type. I hate to say it out loud because I like to think of myself as a free thinker, and a love is for everyone no matter what type person but I can tell you. I have a type I tend to attract and gravitate towards. That is the ugly truth. I am also a ghoster. If you get too freaky, mistake me for a woman who will put up with your shit, or you have ghosted me before in texts or emails...I will drop you like a bad fucking habit. 

** side note by TOO Freaky...I mean like trying to shove inanimate objects not made for sexy time inside orifices of mine...it’s happened. I don’t judge but I don’t play that way either so. You know who you are. Perv. ** 

There is always that one guy, who texts and messages like every 5 seconds. The minute he gets your phone number he acts like he has to have every single conversation you have missed out on in the last year in the next 24 hours. He usually wants to talk all night, or when I am at work. Never fails. I try to keep up with this guy but 89% of them get impatient with me because I don’t always have the fast text back rate. I am usually good about it but at work its hard. So they end up moving on, I just feel like they text like that because they have short attention spans and get bored with me because I am not that exciting. I mean there is only going to be so many answers to “So how’s your day?” Well its fucking Wednesday and I didn’t kill someone so...OR “what are your plans this weekend?” Well I have two kids, so we are hitting up the movies, having root beer floats and then going to the park later ... wanna come? sometimes they like this, sometimes they don’t. I am usually 50/50.

There is the guy who opens the conversation and then disappears between certain times of the day. “hey girl” *six hours and a handful of messages from me later* “whats up?” .... SUPER annoying. This brings me to that guy that sends one liners too. “Hey.” “You up” “WYD” “Going to eat” “Gym flow brb”...this literally makes me want to throat punch everyone I see. “wyd” “nothing” Get the fuck away from me.

Then we have the guy who opens the conversation with a highly sexually aggressive one liner. “Hey baby, wanna sit on my face?” So I can smother you yes. “Oh nice tits” Oh thanks you won’t be seeing them and yes I have gotten this before, “Hey wanna fuck?((Kissy face blowing kisses face and heart eyes)) ” First off, if a guy uses too many emojis - it’s a turn off. I get annoyed with my best friends for putting like 45million faces and hand signals after a text. However I have seen grown ass men, straight men, use 4-6 emojis on a dirty pickup line. Stop corrupting emojis. Some of you actually think adding a kiss face will make your gross behavior funny. Stop it. My emojis carry over to so many areas of my life and the last thing I need is to remember your dumb ass when I send them to my best friends. It’s never the eggplant emoji either, its always a hand signal and the faves. UGH. Secondly, can you get to know a sister first? I mean damn Gina, hold your fucking horses. I don’t even KNOW if I wanna sit on your face because your attitude is so fucking stupid, I’d rather slap you with my fist then even THINK about letting you near my goddess parts.