#singerandwinger

Thanks to the pretty agentswan. She tagged me for this. So I present to you my scribble at her request. 

So there is what I call handwriting which I think is barely legible. Let me know if anything needs some clearing up. Also my crush changes weekly like I wanted to go back and change it to Chris Evans. So feel free to ask anytime and it could be anyone. Lol

The following is what is supposed to be written.

Name

Blog URL

Blog Title

Crush

Favorite Color

CAPSLOCK

Favorite Band

Favorite Number

Favorite Drink

Tag 10 Peeps:

singerandwinger, that-insane-shipper-girl, hookedhero, onehiddlestontorulethemall, ccarolina47, stilesbansheequeen, reportergirl13, actualbanshee, ohdarlingnicole, lostinrosswood 

Dear Misha-

Today, August 20th, we share a birthday. We also share a profession, several passions, a tendency to spurn the gender binary, and some life philosophies regarding joy, kindness, and acceptance. We are both whimsical and riotously silly, we both flout the system and do it our own way. 

I know that we share these things because there is a great deal of information out there about you. That information is there in large part because you are so willing and open to share your life with us. This is, in a very specific way, what I consider to be a birthday gift from you. 

Though you have never met me, and likely never will, the gift that you are to me today is a gift of kinship. The knowledge that out there, some crazy guy who is just like me, another nut-case blue eyed brunette with the time and desire to make other people happy is doing so on a grander scale than I could hope for in my life. That there is so much love and support for that Misha guy and his antics on a global scale gives me a permission to behave similarly that I otherwise might find intimidating. Here finally is someone who by the grace of his profession lives out for all to see the ways in which I am also different and whacky and zany and good. It's not unlike when Disney finally makes a princess movie where you identify as the princess. 

Misha Collins, you are my Disney princess. 

You know nothing about me, and likely will never know anything about me. That I exist is periphery to your own existence. But from what I know of you, not just from what you say but by the power of your actions, I do not think that you would mind me saying that like all human beings, we are extensions of each other. There is a 28 year old female version of you, an American whose life took her to the west coast of Canada, doing her level best to care, to contribute, to spread joy, to be kind. She works in theatre, she loves her friends, she lives with gratitude and wonder. She gets to know that you are out there doing the same thing. She is a flash light and you are a pair of high beams, but its the same light. 

And that makes the lonely things less lonely. It makes darkness less pervasive, it makes difficult things a little more achievable. 

I take great joy in you. In watching the things you do, in reading the things you write, in seeing the way you are, the example by which you live your life. Thank you for that joy. Thank you for the gift. 

Thank you. 

Happy birthday. 

As of today, the 20th of August, I am 28 years old. This has been both the worst and best year of my life- it is my Phoenix year.

This is the year I irrevocably lost everything that I thought was necessary to my life and happiness.  This is the year that I found myself.  This is the year my burdens laid me low.  This is the year I picked myself back up.  This is the year that one name died, and another was resurrected. An illness became a way of life,  And missing gifts were restored.

I am grateful beyond measure for all of the days I did nothing but survive,  and for all of the days where I truly lived.

As of today, I am reborn out of ashes, and a new and magnificent thing will I seek to be.

Dealing with the end of a marriage, and working through it in words and song. This is literally a first pass a a melody, didn't have a keyboard or anything on me, but I'm pretty pleased with it. 

I'm all done, with running away-

You always ran faster,

And I want to stay.

I'm done with the fall,

And I'm done with the fear,

You're running away love,

But I'm staying here.

And its not where I wanted to be-

But at least its a place where I'm free.

And I'm done with the racing and beating of hearts,

So here's where it ends love,

And now's when it starts.

I'm almost too tired to talk,

In your marathon world,

We could never just walk,

I'm barely upright,

I could fall to my knees,

But you're too far ahead

For my outcry and pleas

And its not where I wanted to be-

But at least its a pace and I place I can be,

Your finish line's farther with each passing day,

You want the horizon,

But I need to stay.

And I won't say that we didn't have a good run,

That we didn't go far, that we didn't have fun,

But you want the wild winding road just ahead,

And I want to stand in the wheat fields instead.

And its not where I wanted to be,

But at least I have something for me ,

I'll stay by the shore and the sea and the sky,

I'll wave at your back and I'll shout my goodbye-

Cause I'm all done with running away,

A race is a lonely old thing anyway,

I'm done with the fall, and I'm done with the fear,

You're running away love,

But I'm staying here.

I'm done with the racing and beating of hearts,

So here's where it ends love,

I confess, I don't understand in the slightest how Tumblr works. Oh I have a basic comprehension of tags and reblogging and hey-thats-funny-I'm-going-to-link-it. But generally speaking, I'm just here to write and repost. 

So!

I'm officially requesting fic prompts. Got any fun ideas you don't have time to play with? Because it be summer, and I want to write. 

Cheers lovelies!