#simplebeat

It look like I’m pressed?

Blackout

2009: I was 11 and in the 6th grade.  I was really confident despite getting bullied in elementary school. I was always so friendly and outspoken.  

2012: 3 years can do a lot to a person. Suddenly I was so insecure like many preteens. I hated all my flaws like the gaps in my teeth, being tall (I’m 5′7), my dark skin and rather short hair. I was freshman in high school and I dreaded going to school everyday because I was so self conscious and I was convinced that everyone would look at me because I was different.

2013: I found ways to “cover” my imperfections the best I could.  I used other ways to draw people’s attention.  Like my sense of humor (which always had me in good graces with all my teacher when I didn’t do my homework).

2014: I discovered the eyebrow pencil and black lipstick! Which wasn’t a terrible thing. I started experimenting with makeup (and I mean really experimenting). I must admit I thought it enhanced my features and I thought that it would make me feel better about my insecurities. Which expanded to my then acne prone skin (which I still struggle with from time to time). But it still wasn't enough and I couldn't understand why.

2015: I actually got real glasses!!  I was still just kind of just pushing through life  doing what other people wanted me to do (i.e. my parents or friends). I never really had a say in anything. I grew to be a more timid and to overthink before I spoke which wouldn't end up working out in my favor because I didn't speak about the guy this guy I really liked. And I thought he would make the first move but he didn’t and my friend ended up making the first move (she asked me if it was okay and since I didn’t want it to come between us I said it was). I was hurt at the time but soon I realized that I needed to start advocating for myself.

2016: The year so much changed I had gotten out of a bad relationship. The year I graduated high school and started college.  The year I got my braces on.  The year I lost and made so many friends. There was just so much change and transition it was kinda over overwhelming. I hated it at first but then I realized that change was necessary if I wanted to grow. This year was honestly epic because I started to love who I was becoming.