#simphonious

Are we just friends or is there more?

“Good morning my little Law,” Kane cooed, planting a kiss on Law’s cheek with an over-the-top smack. Law swung his legs a little, seemingly pleased by the attention. “You ready for a new day? I hope so, because I’m sure not.” Kane kept his voice bubbly, ending off in a massive yawn that felt like it almost unhinged his jaw. “Ooh, look, I almost ate you then. We’re lucky I have stuff in for breakfast.”

Kane couldn’t fathom how he, someone whose only childhood friend had been flighty at best, could love something as much as he loved Law.

The first few days he couldn’t stop holding Law, marvelling at the new baby smell and stroking his arms gently, (‘soft as a baby’s bottom’ really did have truth to it), playing with the tiny fingers and toes, pressing his lips to Law’s forehead and the wisps of hair, terrified that he was cuddling Law too tightly because he wanted to keep his child so close. Every time he made a small, sleepy sound, Kane’s heart damn near melted.

And so it went for the first few months. Kane was scared that the adoration would grow old, that one too many sleepless nights would steal his wonder from him, but it never did. He could feel the stress creeping up, the sea rising against storm walls, about to encroach on his newfound sense of peace with the world and himself, but each time he felt it begin to leak he would desperately shore it up again, the forced ignorance making things both worse and better.

Kane didn’t quite realise how much his catholic upbringing had impacted his gut aversion to the idea of abortion, but he also didn’t quite realise that other factors were at play to ensure this child was going to be brought into the world.

The name Law had seemed to come out of nowhere to Kane, but he liked it enough to name his child that, unknowingly choosing a fitting name for a boy who would change the world...

“What?” Of all of the ways she imagined him responding, panicked and hurt wasn’t one of them. Relieved, yes. Calmly accepting, definitely. But this? She chanced a look at his face, and saw his eyes were wide. “No,” he said, folding his arms, though his shoulders quickly slumped. “I mean, I can’t force you, but... please, Faye. You can’t kill it. It’s our... our kid.”

Faye stared at him. “You really think we deserve to bring a kid into this world? Do you know the first thing about being a parent?”

“We... could learn? Look, if it happened despite the pill, then doesn’t it mean it’s meant to be?”

Kane shook his head, let out his breath slowly, and walked to the end of the bed. “Alright,” he said, frowning over at her. Faye was surprised to see no residual anger, only a wary resignation that took her aback. “It’s your decision, I guess. At the end of the day, I have no say in this, right?” He laughed bitterly, rubbing his eyes. “That’s probably not fair. Whatever. I’m not going with you to do it. Just tell me it’s done and then do me the favour of never speaking to me again.”