#sim:grace

Harlow still struggles at school, and it breaks her mother’s heart every time a meltdown happens. Sometimes Grace can’t prevent them. Although Harlow doesn’t attend preschool as often as she could, Grace still believes it will be beneficial in the long run. Over time, the meltdowns have become less frequent, but they still occur from time to time. Harlow doesn’t seem to have made a close friend yet, though there is still some interaction. Perhaps the other children have simply grown used to her peculiarities. Grace is a mother, and more than that, a first-time mother, doing her best to balance her daughter’s development with her well-being. She knows that avoiding difficult emotions isn’t always the solution, but she also understands that too much pain can be damaging. That’s why she decided to have Harlow attend preschool less than her peers, even if that choice might contribute to her being perceived as different from the other children. This balance, one that may never truly be achieved, puts immense pressure on Grace, and she carries a deep sense of guilt over her daughter’s feelings. Seeing Harlow apologize for things beyond her control both warms and breaks her heart at the same time. For this reason, despite the slight crush she has on Tao, Grace decides to put a stop to any potential relationship. They’ve exchanged a few messages since the night they met at the bar, but Grace realizes now that it’s not the right time for her. She can’t invest the emotional energy and time a relationship would require. While the decision makes her sad, she knows it’s what she has to do. Harlow comes first, and that makes Grace happy. Tao knows Harlow as he’s her coach and he understands Grace’s point of view, even though he admits he wishes they could see each other again. Their paths will still cross, just not in the way he hoped. Grace will bring Harlow to her training sessions, where they’ll exchange brief glances and a few words. It will be awkward at first, but with time, it will get easier.

Harlow’s first day at preschool was a difficult step. Waking up early, when it is still cold and raining, was a sensation she would slowly have to get used to for many years to come. Having to let go of her mommy’s warm embrace was probably the hardest thing she had ever done. Harlow had never been separated from Grace for this long. The teacher was probably used to children having a hard time letting go when they are discovering a new place, new people, and a growing sense of independence but in Harlow’s case, things could be harder. Harlow’s first experiences at school were not filled with excitement, quite the opposite in fact. Her speech issues made getting to know the other children difficult. Used to her mother’s presence and her ease in understanding and communicating with her, Harlow began to realize that she was not like the other kids. As a result, she started removing her cochlear implant more often, especially when she felt overwhelmed by all the noise. Despite the teacher’s efforts to encourage interactions between the children, Harlow often ended up playing alone. She began to show more and more irritation at school, the same kind she used to experience before receiving her implant and beginning speech rehabilitation. While this anger still appeared at home from time to time, the stress of this new environment was now intensifying it there as well. These issues immediatly made Grace worried for her daughter's wellbeing. Her one and only amazing little girl deserves joyful and innocent times.

Summer was near, though the air was still cold and dry. After multiple years of dedicating her life to her daughter, Grace finally decided to take time for herself and go out. She had always struggled with making friends and keeping them, but socializing felt nice from time to time. She put on a nice dress, groomed her hair, and headed to a nice bar in town. The place was beautiful, and the lights reflected dreamily on the lake’s surface. While ordering a drink, a man introduced himself to her as Tao Van Kerm. She recognized him immediately: he was Harlow’s gym teacher. They spent the evening and part of the night talking, while jazz music played softly in the background, creating a relaxed atmosphere. At first, they talked about Harlow, of course. That was probably Grace’s favorite topic. But this night was for her, for existing as herself, without bringing everything back to motherhood. Tao made her feel at ease, and the conversation never felt forced. And every time she looked into his eyes and he looked back, she couldn’t help but glance away... and try to play it cool. She might have a crush.

As a young adult, life is led by dreams that come and go. Emotions surge, and life feels unstable, constantly questioning the person one wants to become. No longer a teenager, but not yet an adult. Grace had a good start in life, growing up in an environment that provided her with a solid foundation, allowing her not to lose herself when times get hard. Ultimately, stability is what she strives for, and as a result, she lives a life some may call boring, a waste of time you will never get back: your youth. This is something she never truly understood, as she lived her life the way she wanted and was never afraid of the responsibilities she took on so easily. School, university, finding a job, getting a house, paying the bills, and showing up to work on time. All of this became even more evident when she became a mother. Having a child was her dearest wish in life, and she was granted it quite early compared to her peers. While Grace definitely falls under the category of a cookie-cutter perfect girl, choosing to live such a simple life has led her to feel increasingly distant from her peers. With daily responsibilities, she doesn’t have much time to dwell on the fact that she may feel lonely, and she probably doesn’t even want to admit it to herself, as that would make it real. Her daughter is here, and for now, she needs no one else. But she misses having someone special and being special to someone. All she yearns for, in the end, is a comfortable life for Harlow and herself.