He likes to watch you eat.

The process is fascinating to him; the conversion of meat and plant matter to energy. It’s much less efficient than plugging yourself into the nearest electrical outlet but he cannot deny there is something charming about it. He likes the way your eyes light up and the corners of your lips turn up when you eat something you enjoy. He likes the almost mechanical motion of your jaw as you grind food down into a form you can consume. Mostly, if he’s being completely honest with himself, he likes your lips.

You’re eating a fruit of some kind; something that bursts with juice as you take a bite of it. The juice clings to your fingers and lips and trails a little down your chin and he watches in rapt fascination as the pink tip of your tongue darts out to clean the mess.

Your lips are shiny with juice and saliva and he knows from experience they are as warm and soft as they look. He feels his frame heating up at the memory of your touch, of your kiss against the flat metal surface where his mouth would be if the person who designed him had bothered to give him one.

He envies the androids and all the other robotic models that were given more human-like appearances. He envies them their gentle eyes and their button noses and their pillowy lips that serve no other purpose than to make humans more comfortable with their presence and to kiss. He wants to kiss you so bad. Wishes he had lips to do so. Wishes he had a tongue to dart out and lick the juice from your lips and enjoy the flavor of it mixed with the flavor of you.

“You’re staring.”

Your voice startles him out of his thoughts. He brings his focus up from your lips to your eyes. They are so bright and warm and looking at him with a playful light that makes him want to lift you up and spin you around and pull you back down for a kiss that he cannot give you.

“Is there something on my face?”

“Yes,” he answers, brushing a digit that functions like a human thumb but looks nothing like it against the corner of your lips to wipe away some of the excess juice your tongue had missed. “You’re a messy eater.”

“Oh yeah?”

You pout, all mock offense, before leaping forward to press sticky lips against the metal plating of his face.

“There!” you exclaim, tongue peeking out past your lips in a teasing gesture. “Now there’s something on your face too!”

Awww Thank you so much!!! My heart is full of joy!

It’s the coldest season on Earth and you have no idea what you’re about to part-take in. Sari says it’s the most magical night of the year when people give gifts to each other. You fail to see the point of giving gifts but certain members of team Prime appear to be taken over by the festive tradition. Primarily Bumblebee and Bulkhead.

You stand there in guard like Sentinel had ordered you to. Something about not letting Optimus’ team do anything that could lead Sentinel into a bad light. Lousy jerk. You watched how Sari and everyone, save for the Optimus and Ratchet are putting on festive decorations.

“Hey!”

You looked down and saw Sari eyeing you up. You blink your optics and smile a little awkwardly at her. “Hello?”

Sari smiles and points at the box in the corner of the factory. “There are some ornaments there. Would you like to help us put them on?”

That sounded like fun. It was exactly what Sentinel ordered you not to do. You frowned and shook your helm. “I’m sorry but I have my orders and--!”

“Forget about them! I won’t tell your boss if you don’t!” Sari cheered and you smiled. That made more sense. You nodded and Sari took a lead start to the ornament box. You dug around it and saw long lines of lights. They were a mess, tangling and hanging everywhere. You started to untangle them when you heard a yell.

“Helms up!”

You looked up and saw huge spruce brought in by Bulkhead. You eyed the plant and Bumblebee jumped out from behind it. “Isn’t this cool? We can relax all we want, exchange gifts and play games!” 

“Bumblebee, that’s not ALL that Christmas is about!” Sari said and pointed a crude drawing in her hand about her, her father and Autobots. “It’s about love and family and sharing things with your loved ones!”

“And gifts!”

“If this Christmas is so great, why do you have it only once a year? And on the coldest time of the year?” You asked. Sari was about to reply, but then she decided otherwise, tried again and failed. “Ugh, it just is how it is! And if we would celebrate it all the time then it would lose its meaning!”

“Oooh..!” You awed. “Okay, but where do the gifts come from?”

“A fat man brings them!” Bumblebee cheered and Sari rolled her eyes. “If you’re good then Santa Claus will put presents under the Christmas tree. But if you’re naughty, you get coal. But enough of that, let’s decorate the tree!”

You set to work on it together. Though you were struggling a little so Bumblebee took over the decorative side. You focused on getting some tinsel decorations all over the walls. In your duty, you didn’t pay attention to where you were going and pumped into Bumblebee.

“Oh, I’m sorry Bumblebee.” You said and the yellow minibot scoffed. “Pfft, you’re okay. I barely felt you!”

“Hold on! Nobody moves!” Sari screamed suddenly and you all turned to look at her. She has a huge smile on her face as she pointed at you and Bumblebee. “You two are standing under the mistletoe!”

You both looked up and certainly, there was some kind of a plant hanging there. “So?” Bumblebee asked and Sari scoffed. “So, you need to kiss! It’s a Christmas order!”

“What!?” Bumblebee’s optics almost bulged out from his sockets and you blushed and averted your gaze. Bumblebee looked at you like you had grown two helms more and then at Sari. “I can’t kiss them!”

“Why not?” Sari asked. “Don’t you guys kiss back in Cybertron?”

“We do, we just, ugh, I don’t know!” Bumblebee was getting tangled with his words. You rolled your optics and leaned down to peck him on the cheek. Suddenly everything stopped. Bee was quiet and Sari was grinning from ear to ear. You wonder if you crossed a line.

“Well, excuse me then, but I think I need some fresh air.” You said and excused yourself when suddenly someone grabbed your arm.

You turned to look as saw Bumblebee glaring straight at you, but it wasn’t a hateful glare but flustered. Even his face was shades of darker. “Bumblebee?”

That seemed to snap him out of his trance. He let go of your arm and shook his helm. “Yeah, no, it’s nothing.” You were uncertain, but you nodded and took off to the city.

There was pretty much to see during this white season. There were old men dressed in red and ringing bells, streets were covered in snow and there were pretty lights hanging everywhere. You get caught in red lights and you look around if you spot anything special. That’s when your eyesight catches something special.

“Oh, he is going to love that.”

You return to the base hour later and everyone is in a festive mood. You smile and take the present you bought and wrapped under the tree with the rest of the presents. Just in time as the whole team emerges from deeper parts of the factory.

“Well well.” Sari shakes her head. “Look who came back.”

“I’m sorry?” You ask in confusion. “Was I uninvited?”

“No!” Bumblebee snapped quickly and blushed when everyone turned to look at him. He coughed and rubbed the back of his helm. “I mean... There are these stone-hard Christmas traditions that we can’t break or Santa won’t bring us any gifts!"

“Yeah, sure.” Sari rolled her eyes and looked at you. “Would you like some oil?” She offered kindly, but you had to refuse. “I’m sorry, but I’m full. I’ll just actually go to my room.” You said and walked past everyone to go and relax in your smaller room.

You take a comfortable position over your metal bed and sigh. It was tiresome to be on Earth because Sentinel didn’t want to have anything to do with the planet, but there are lines. 

There is a knock and you look up to see Bumblebee standing there while looking sheepish. “Hey, uh, you were gone for a while?”

You nodded. “Yes. The city looks beautiful in white. Probably prettier at night.”

Bumblebee nods furiously and laughs awkwardly. You’re starting to wonder if there was anything hiding behind his actions. “Is everything alright Bumblebee? You look like your cooling fans aren’t working properly.”

“Yes, no, I don’t know!” He shouts and holds his helm like he can’t decide what to do with his hands at the same time while having processor pains. Finally, he points at you and he looks pissed. “You kissed me!”

“Hardy, it was a peck on its best.”

“Yeah, but, ugh, I want more...!”

You raised your optical ridge at that. Bumblebee was blushing from horns to pede and you smiled lightly. He looked so frustrated that you couldn’t bring yourself to tease him.

Instead, you scooped to one side of your bed and patted the empty spot next to you. “There is room if you want to snuggle and talk about it.” You offered jokingly, but to your shock, he actually took the offer and settled down next to you.

“I don’t know, I haven’t been kissing guys after boot camp and it felt nice and you’re nice to me and don't underestimate me and it feels good when you look at me and no one else.” Bumblebee explained and you awwed and the dots connected in your helm.

“Could it be that you... Like me?” You asked and Bumblebee blushed so hard you thought his yellow paint would turn red. “I don’t know..! I haven’t liked anyone like this in millions of years and suddenly you come by and win me over! It’s not fair, I’m not strong or big so what could you see in me?“

“Hey Bee.” You caught his attention. “You’re one of the kindest bots I know and not to mention funniest. You know how to cheer me up and you and Sari have taught me a lot from Earth.”

“Yeah...” Bee mumbled until he suddenly snorted and looked like he remembered the best thing ever. “You thought that rain was acid..!”

“Hey, if I remember correctly, I heard Sari tell me that you thought so also!”

“Yeah, but by now it’s old information now! Everyone knows it!” He laughed and you pouted. “For that, I might take away your gift.”

This caught his attention. Bumblebee pushed himself on sitting position and you followed his example. His blue optics were bright like Christmas star you saw on spruce’s top and the smile on his face was so excited.

“You got me a gift?”¨

“Yes?”

“What did you get me?”

“That is classified information.”

“I’ll kiss you if you tell.”

Now is your time to look at Bee like he had grown two helms. Bumblebee smiled and all of a sudden he bolted forward you but before he could headbutt you he slowed down and kissed you on the lips instead. 

Your optics widened in shock and you froze, but Bumblebee kept kissing you despite your lack of returning the kiss. Finally, something seemed to connect in your helm and you kissed him back. The kiss was sweet and innocent, nothing naughty about it.

When two of you pulled back you were all smiles and glitter in optics. “Truck Massacre 3.” You blurted out. Bee looked baffled. “What?”

“Your Christmas present. It’s a video game. I thought you might like it.” You admitted and as happy as Bumblebee looked he didn’t make a move to rush into another room where the gifts were.

Instead, he smiled bashfully like a young bot he was. “I think for once I prefer this over a video game.”

Now it was your turn to flush red. Bumblebee was acting so mature you, you had never seen him being so smooth.

All Kagome wants is a break.

It isn’t enough that she has been unfairly tasked with the responsibility of collecting all the shards of the Shikon jewel, defeat the evil Naraku, deal with all sorts of manners of horrible demons, and, worse, Inuyasha, but now she has to deal with you following her down the well too.

If you were a normal person who would react to this situation as normal people do, then Kagome wouldn’t mind so much. She would welcome the screaming and the panic attacks. Instead, she draws her hand down the length of her face as you teach Shippo how to dab.

Kagome loves you, truly she does, but in this moment you are testing her.

Just when Kagome doesn’t think things can get any worse, she sees Koga approaching from the distance. She massages her temple and prays for patience.

“Hey Kagome,” he greets with a grin and a flash of fanged teeth. “You ready to leave that beta male of yours for a real man?”

Kagome just continues to rub her temple. It is because of this that she misses how you look at Koga the way that Miroku looks at anyone with tits and, thus, is not properly prepared to stop you from making a complete ass of yourself.

I think you’re a Golem!

As far as Golem’s go you’re rather lazy indeed. You were created to act as your master decided you to act, but you rather laze around and snuggle with people close to you.

You either speak or you don’t, you don’t make the rules. You just follow them. People try to order you around, but you may not take kindly to that and that causes you to isolate yourself from the rest of the people. Lucky for you, your friends accept you no matter what, lazy or stubborn or not and those friends hold you so close to them.

Everyone has a false image that I’m cute for some reason, when I really am not, I mean, I can’t even control the frogs that come out of my mouth! Aww, hey honey bunny, you can always talk to me if you want! I don’t turn anyone down! He he…. Thank you for liking my stories!