#silverhibiscus

Her face is blotchy and red, and she's already turning away and it's all he can do to grab her wrist and tell her, "never, ever think that you're unloveable just because all I have to to offer you is friendship my Nathalie."

He sees the bob of her throat as she swallows, and hates that he knows that had he still his Miraculous she'd be ripe for an akuma right now.

But she looks up and meets his eyes, strong as ever despite yet another blow to her hopes, "but you could never...."

"No," he sighs and takes a step closer, "it's nothing you've done, or failed to do- don't even think that. You can't change this. I do love you, but I can't be the man who's in love with you."

"I understand sir." He hates the flatness to her voice, that she thinks she has to act for him. "I should, I should go."

"Don't feel like that." He pulls her close, and despite her words she doesn't fight it. "I don't think any less of you for your feelings."

"You've known for a while haven't you?" She whispers against his chest.

Rubbing his best attempt at comforting circles into her back he confirms, "My Miraculous."

She makes a sound halfway between a sob and a laugh. "I should have known. Stupid of me to think I'd succeeded in keeping it secret."

"Had I not had a Miraculous I wouldn't have. You never let it slip."

"Neither did you. I'd have thought that if you'd known-"

He holds her a little tighter. It's all he can do when, "I know how loyal you are Nathalie, so it never worried me. In fact it was a comfort. Unfair of me I admit, but knowing someone still cared for me like you did- it gave me the strength to continue."

"Please never say that to Adrien.'

"Oh he knows who to blame."

"I never-" She looks up at him, those eyes shining with sincerity like shallow water in sunlight," you know I'd never have sabotaged your attempts to get Emilie back. It's just now that-"

"I know." The weight of the knowledge that is wife is gone lies heavy enough on him he can barely can out of bed. "I understand why you spoke up now. I've been..." cataconic, useless, likely to tank his company, the choices of descriptors are endless and yet he doesn't want to admit any of them even though Nathalie knows.

"Acting like you have nothing left." Her voice is stronger now, firm. Like the Nathalie who had stood by Hawk Moth's side. "But you do, even if I don't count you have Adrien."

"I have you too." He rushes to reassure her, after all, "You've always been the one reminding me to live, and that's why I should do the same for you."

"I don't,"

"You," he cradles her cheek with one hand, "are a beautiful,"

"Hmph," She pulls her face away from him, "don't lie to me."

"You are. I realise it's hard to remember that in this industry but when you were younger you could have modelled. You have the height." And certainly the ability for the build, even if she's always run a little more muscular than the catwalk models.

"Models have to photograph well. Not one of my talents." But she at least rests her head back against his shoulder.

"That doesn't mean you're not gorgeous in the flesh. And you have twice, more than twice, the talents of most of those girls."

"Thank you I suppose."

There's no sincerity but he supposed he can't blame her. Was it Emilie rejecting him like that then-

Then-

Then Gabriel isn't sure what he'd have done, except that he's sure that Emilie and Nathalie and even the then non-existent Adrien would be very upset with him.

He presses a kisss to the top fo her head. "You will find someone you know. There is nothing deficient in you. The lack is in me. And one day some man is going to love you the way you love me. And I'll let you go, because that's the right thing to do even if miserly as I might be I wish I could keep you all to myself."

He can't even wish that Nathalie wasn't in love him, that she only loved him as he did her, because the truth is he wants how she is for him now forever. But he's done enough unfair things to her. Adrien would tell him that.

She stays pressed against his shoulder and it hits him she's hiding her face from him. "You don't have to lie to me to make me feel better."

"I'm not lying."

It's the truth and yet he can feel he hasn't convinced her from her hand against his chest.

"I think I'm going to go to my room." She says with a subtle push agaisnt him.

He doesn't let her go yet, "Nathalie..."

"Your rejection has been very kind. But it's still rejection. Surely you can understand my wanting some time alone."

"I suppose. Just- don't do anything stupid."

"I know better than that now." She pulls away from him, "Goodnight Gabriel."