#sillyashythings

so, I actually get A LOT of messages like these (usually after breakups) & some of them are so rude lmao. Sometimes I see these messages & i'm like damn ppl actually pay attention to my love life & care enough to get upset about it??? Before I used to think that I should maybe not post things related to my love life but you know when you're like, really in a moment & you're so happy you wanna just shout it out to the world & shit? I get so so caught up in moments like that. So whether it's a new relationship & the excitement is too real for me, or if I've been in the relationship for a bit & one day I really miss them or something happens that makes my heart really flutter, I'll end up making a post about it. In the end, I guess I don't really give a shit about who knows what bc we all have a past & that's part of what makes us who we are today right?? As for the dudes, I mean NGL I chose some really shitty ones LOL couple of em cheated, one got addicted to drugs & stole money from me, one I pushed away bc I thought I was, but I wasn't ready for a relationship, another told me marriage & kids were never in the cards for him (which I want EVENTUALLY), the reasons are literally all over the place. If you really wanna know all about things, y'all can message me off anon. As far as commitment issues? Idk, I feel like I have no more & no less than anyone else lol. If I really had commitment issues, you never would've seen anything about the last dude since it was LDR(which fell apart due to logistics & his lack of communication skills if you were wondering). ya girl is just out here tryna find love like anyone else. I 100% would be down to commit to someone I felt safe with & felt like we could make each other happy!! & with each of the bfs you've seen me cycle through, I've felt that at one point. I very strongly believe that with every failed relationship, I get a bit more knowledgeable about what I want/need in a relationship & about what I can/can't offer someone in a relationship. & that's what makes me hopeful that I'll eventually be able to find someone that's a great fit for me :3 thanks for sticking with me so far, I hope one day you'll be able to see me happily married or some shit! 😅😋🖤

Shit

I once opened my heart to a guy that didn't want to be loved. He gave me tears, but a lot of laughter in between & taught me how truly happy you can be when you figure out what you want in life. He showed me my capacity to be patient & understanding was a lot more than I gave myself credit for. He was comfortable with himself as weird as he was & it helped me to accept more things about myself too. It hurts like hell to know I can't have him in my life anymore after all these years, that I wasn't enough to fight for, but I'll always carry these things he taught me. A little scar on my heart from the cute hapa boy in my middle school gym class..

RIGHT in the fucking feels