#silkholland

@refairy as scream. that's too easy tbh.

@silkholland as cam. have you seen this? i feel you'd be into it. i don't remember that much about it but i feel like the colors remind me of your general aesthetic

@totheblood as X because star is a fucking STAR the same wat mia goth is in this film. talented showstopping never been done before etc. this is also my reaction every time i see star's tiktoks

@specialk-18 as stoker. this isn't that much of a horror ass horror film but i guess it still fits in the horror genre. anyways this is one of my fav movies in the entire world and it's so lush and beautiful and methodical and i feel like kendra gives off the same aura... i feel like most people find aquarian but there's something logical/intentional abt kenny... does that make sense?

I rest my case.

🦋 art – i will make you a moodboard of whatever you want (person, blog, theme...).

You give me so much 80s, colorful, happy and energethic vives, I can't explain why. I hope you like it!

Also I was so shocked and happy when I saw this ask from you, I love your blog 💕

Sub Spidey Vibes 🖤💚

I apologize that this is so late. It’s very clearly not spooky season anymore but i hope you can still find some use for these.

Summary: Everything between you and Peter had been leading to this very moment.

Pairing: Peter Parker x female!reader

Word Count: 1.7K

Warnings: angst, descriptions of death, spoilers for NWH and a happy, open ended ending.

A/N: I wrote this in like an hour and a half so please don’t judge it too hard. I just really wanted to put out something for Valentine’s Day.

Your heart pounded in your chest, the beat of it ringing through your ears. This was it. This was how it all ended.

They say your life flashes before your eyes before you die. That wasn’t the case for you, not in the traditional sense, anyway.

Peter’s panicked expression stared back at you, his hand reaching out, just slightly out of reach. Maybe your life did flash in front of you, because as cheesy as it may have sounded, Peter was your life. He had been your constant - your best friend and the love of your life. Though, he didn’t know that last part. And now he never would.

You met Peter when you were 10. Your life had been uprooted after your parents’ divorce, moving from a small town in North Carolina to the big city of Queens to live with your dad. He always tried his best, but he wasn’t prepared to raise a daughter. He spent most of his days at work and his nights trying to apparently find you a new step mom.

You were alone a lot. At first, it wasn’t so bad - you had learned to entertain yourself and enjoy your own company. Then two weeks went by and you felt the crushing weight of loneliness begin to seep in.

There was a commotion in the hallway, your curiosity taking over as you peered through the cracked opening of your front door. That was the first time you saw Peter Parker. His laugh instantly brought a smile on your face. He appeared to be helping a man and a woman - you assumed were his parents - with groceries into their apartment across the hall from you. His chocolate brown eyes locked with your widened ones as you shut the door, suddenly feeling like you were caught witnessing something sacred.

The next day he knocked on your door with the assistance of who you learned to be his aunt. He asked if you were allowed to hang out and you pretended to ask your dad before returning to the door to quickly accept his invitation.

Over time his aunt began to notice your lack of supervision and invited you over more often. She became a surrogate mother to you, in a way.

From that first day, you and Peter were inseparable.

By 12 you two developed your own secret language - one that didn’t truly need words, just looks. It drove Aunt May and Uncle Ben insane because they never knew what the two of you were up to.

By 13 you realized that your feelings for him might have been slightly more than platonic. You had finally built up the nerve to tell him when he knocked on your door one night, tears streaming down his face. He immediately engulfed you in a hug the second the door was open, your arms clinging to him without question. When he had finally calmed down enough to speak, he told you his Uncle Ben was dead - an apparent robbery gone wrong and a single gun shot wound to the gut. His world had changed in just an instant and you couldn’t bear to make it any more difficult or confusing. He had already been through enough, losing his parents at such a young age and now this.

By 16 you had learned to push your feelings down so far you barely noticed them anymore. It was only when he got a little too close or his eyes crinkled when he laughed too hard that you felt that familiar spark. It was like a shock to your core, a bubbling of want that you had to push back down before it overflowed and ruined your friendship.

That was the same year you began to notice changes in him. His glasses were gone, perfect vision seemingly coming out of nowhere. His body - you’d like to say that wasn’t the first thing you noticed but that would be a lie. He filled out more, muscles taking over his previously scrawny physique. You felt like you were going insane, gaslighting yourself into believing it was normal for a teenage boy to change so drastically in such a small amount of time. Then he told you.

Peter Parker was Spider-Man.

He wasn’t just interning with Tony Stark, he was working with him. He was a superhero, though he always felt like one in your eyes to begin with.

By 17 you both experienced the trauma of “the blip” but Peter’s trauma always outweighed yours. He had lost his parents, his uncle, and now his mentor. He tried to pretend he was okay but you knew him, you could see his internal struggle. Not to mention the world had suddenly put this huge weight on his shoulders to be the next Tony Stark. He wasn’t the next Tony Stark, though. He wasn’t the next anything. He was Peter Parker and that’s all he needed to be.

You knew his heart was just too big, too generous. He would drain himself dry to take care of everyone else and you wouldn’t allow that. You made sure he took time for himself, time for his family and friends, time for his heart to heal.

Now here you were, 18 and about to plummet to your death. And yet, the only thing on your mind was, ‘god please don’t blame yourself for this, Peter.’

It had been a fucked up day. There was no other way to describe it. Peter had wanted a fresh start for the both of you, but Mysterio went and flushed that plan down the toilet. He had outed Peter, and worse, he had made it look like he was a murderer. As if Peter could ever willingly hurt anyone.

He went to Doctor Strange to fix everything and that’s how you ended up here. The multiverse was opened - multiple Peters and multiple villains unleashed. He had lost May. It killed you that you weren’t there in that moment for him, to remind him it wasn’t his fault.

His heart truly was too big because anyone else would have just sent everyone back where they belonged, ignoring any consequences it may have. It took the initiative to try to save everyone, and in doing so lost someone.

He had mostly succeeded. Him and the other Peters had created cures for each of the villains, even those who were undeserving. Everything was going as planned until the Green Goblin appeared.

Your hand stretched beyond its limits, fingers reaching for Peter’s. The cool air of the winter night whipped against your cheeks, your tears mixing with the cold temperature. You tried to convey everything you could with your eyes - i love you, I’ll be okay, you’ll be okay.

His brows furrowed in frustration and fear as he tapped his web shooter, the sticky substance clinging to your wrist that was just out of reach. He used his strength and drive to pull you toward his body, his arms immediately engulfing you in warmth. His legs hit the ground below you, something between a yelp and a whimper leaving your still shaking lips.

“Are you okay?”

You could only nod as he lowered you to the ground.

“I need you to stay right here, okay? Don’t move, please. I’m begging you. I can’t lose you too.” His eyes were filled with tears and concern. Your trembling hands reached up to cup his cheeks, your thumbs wiping away the mixture of tears and blood on his face.

“Be careful, okay?” He nodded and began to pull away but you held him in place. “I love you, Peter. I didn’t really want a near death experience to be the way I told you but—“

His lips tasted of salt and metal, his hand cupping the back of your head to bring you closer. You gasped into the kiss and he used the moment to slip his tongue in, tasting your mouth. Your fingers slipped into his hair, pulling him impossibly closer. It felt like hours but you knew only a minute had passed before you both pulled away to catch your breaths.

“I love you so much. Now stay here for me, okay?” You quickly nodded and watched as his eyes hardened and he disappeared.

The following moments were a blur, the sun beginning to rise over the atmosphere. A grin stretched across your lips when Peter appeared in front of you again, but his features were somber.

“What’s wrong?” Your smile fell.

“You’re going to forget me.”

“Wh-wh-what do you mean? I c-could never forget you, Peter,” you began to shake your head, your stomach beginning to sink at his insinuations.

“Doctor Strange…h-he has to perform a spell and you’re gonna forget me. Everything. It’s gonna be as if I never existed.”

“No!” You spoke forcefully. “N-no there has to be another way. I…No. We’re not doing this.”

“We don’t have a choice, Y/N.”

He stepped closer, his hands resting on your cheeks, his thumb brushing away the quickly falling tears.

“I love you…so so much. God, I wish I had told you sooner. But, I love you and I’m gonna find you. You can’t get rid of me, okay?” You both let out a breathy chuckle, your head nodding at his promises.

“You better,” you scolded, your thumb running over his bottom lip.

“I have to go now…I love you, okay?”

“I love you, Peter.”

He stared into your eyes, as if trying to commit your features to memory. With a sigh and a small peck on your lips, he was gone.

You stared out the window watching the slow snowfall. Your hands grasped the cup of hot chocolate resting on the table in front of you, trying to keep your hands warm. Something brought you here. You had been visiting the small coffee shop across the street from your apartment building for two weeks now.

You sighed, waiting for something, but you didn’t know what. Your instincts kept bringing you here, in this very seat. It was like muscle memory, but for what, you couldn’t remember.

The bell above the door rang, drawing your eyes away from the window. You noticed his hair first, a mess of chocolate brown curls haphazardly pushed back. Your eyes trailed down over his features - warm, honey brown eyes, a slightly crooked nose, most likely from a break, and thin blushed lips. As if he could sense you staring, his eyes founds yours and you gasped.

A compilation of memories flashed before you, a breathy sigh escaping your parted lips. “Peter…”