Shoot Your Local Heroin Dealer - Fuck you!
I don't even know where to begin with this post. My thoughts are so scattered. Yesterday, I got a text that said, "What happened to Nathan?" Although I didn't know what happened to Nathan specifically, I knew it ultimately meant he was gone. Nathan was a guy I met through my husband's car craze. And to be honest, I never really "met" him. My husband spent time with him and I knew he enjoyed his company and we found ourselves talking on FB, then messing (not in the way that Snap Chat is intended for, btw) with each other on Snap Chat. This has happened daily over the last year. He was such a funny, sweet kid. And when I say kid, he was only 24 years old. Around November, he had a stroke.....at 24. He was in the hospital for months. His kidneys shut down, he lost the use of his legs and arm, and was doing dialysis. He was hopeful! He was released and said he was staying with his Mom. He quickly started showing he was depressed, spending me videos of his limp leg and we'd make puns about it together. I hadn't heard from Nathan for over two weeks, but we've been busy, life happens. I knew he had his vices, but I never knew he had a heroin addiction. At 1:59am on February 2, Nathan was declared deceased. My heart aches. I couldn't stop thinking about his smiling face. I dreamed all night. In one dream, he came to me and we hugged for so long and I just wept. I remember hearing his heart beating and knowing that the heart beat would stop soon. The heart beat got louder and louder and then nothing and I woke up short of 1:59am this morning. I'm hoping that this dream truly was him letting me know he arrived okay. Fuck heroin, fuck addiction, fuck these demons. My heart is so heavy.
