#silence of the lambda

The Lupe & Royce Show

Something is definitely happening. I keep hearing noises and voices. I’m very frightened and they keep getting closer. I’m hiding in my closet under some old dirty robes. I don’t know who these people are but the Rani has abandoned me and refuses to see me. I don’t know what is happening...I don’t want to die alone...oh Rassilon....OH GOD THEYVE GOTTEN TO ME. I-

The ship is very quiet now. I’m in my room with some tea and these yummy crackers I found in the cabinet. I think something is going on...

🥺 I miss Lambda. I don’t know how to win her back. A mutual friend of ours texted me saying she was chatting up a gorgeous Lady at the opera last night and they were getting awfully close. I miss her🥺😭.

The suns are shining and for the first time in a very long time I feel warm in them. I was impulsive and used some cash I had “incase of artist block” and went to the salon for the usual revitalizing service they have. 

I feel so much better-as if I just stepped out of the loom 😂! I think I may attend a show tonight, I believe a local Opera House is performing the Requiem of Rassilon’s Last Breath. Simply a divine show! I haven’t seen it in a while but I hear the Alto is incredible this year. 

I feel great. I am alone and the pain is there and may always be there but I am still me. I am still Lambda...Life must continue...

Hello Everyone,

I have been very busy with The Rani as of lately traveling and making art when I have some down time (not much). I am mostly writing this to record what happened last night. I found what looks to be a timelord skull in a cupboard while trying to find glaze to paint some beads I am making for some gloves. I was quite spooked as it was labeled “The Moron”....

When I asked The Rani she simply smiled and kissed my hands and told me not to worry myself with that sort of thing. I am not an idiot. Nor do I need to be treated like one. I also found a box of metal chains and cuffs that were very scary and seemed to have something dried to them. I have also noticed and have heard The Rani creep around the TARDIS very late at night. I do not feel comfortable. 

To make things worse I keep dreaming of Lambda. I can feel her hearts aching and part of me feels empty without her. I miss the little things. Its ridiculous. I had no choice in loving her. Our marriage was unethical in all parts we both were forced to lie and tell the notary and the government officials we were not being forced. And now I sit with some coffee thinking about how pretty she is in the panopticon lighting and how she keeps me close to her in the High Council floor, worried I will get lost amongst the sea of fabrics and broad collars. She’s absolutely ridiculous. These feelings are absolutely ridiculous. 

I don’t know what to do.

I had no idea Lambda had missed work and had been inconsolable for days. I am shocked I was never told. Lambda hasn’t missed a day of work since her incident on Earth and before that she was nearly there everyday and for every High Council meeting...

I am starting to wonder if I was possibly too cruel...but I do deserve to have love...

I will need to think about this...