#sifkiweek17

sifki week → day three: gifts

I cannot save you

For @soothsayerstale I hope this is in line with what you wanted.

[Loki/Sif] [Mulan AU, crossdressing, secrets] A little late, but also for Sifki Week day 2: Secrets

Sif woke up with a pain in her side and fear in her heart. She had done all that she could to keep her identity concealed all this time, waking before everyone else and going to sleep later so that no one caught her unaware, taking extra care with her bathing, and in the end, it was a wound that would fell her. She didn't regret taking the hit meant for commander Thor, but she knew what was to follow would not be pleasant.

She opened her eyes slowly. Treason was waiting for her, she was sure. Woman were not allowed to fight and she had impersonated her father besides. There could be no kindness waiting for her, only disgrace.

"Reckless woman," A familiar voice sneered. "You're awake."

Sif turned her eyes toward the voice, but didn't move. Whoever had dressed her wounds would surely know the truth, but she couldn't help the small hope that kept her lying still. The small voice that told her to remain still, hidden beneath the blanket that fended off the cold and perhaps protected her from the scorn of her peers.

Loki was seated by the tent's opening. The commander's consort was dressed in layers robes as usual, the fan she typically used to cover her face gripped tightly in one hand. "I must say, you had even me fooled."

Cold dread washed over her. Loki hated her. Loki hated everyone. There was no way she would keep Sif's secret. Sif balled the blanket in her hands and held it close to her chest as she sat up, keeping her eyes low.

Seeing this, Loki let out a deep sigh. "Chin up, fool. I am not here to tell your secret, luckily for you."

Sif's eyes rose immediately. "Wha?"

"The others may be so foolhardy as to waste an asset such as yourself due to gender, but I am not," Loki explained. She opened her fan, hiding her face as she spoke more softly. "Even Thor would make a fuss if he was caught off guard with this and we cannot afford such distractions. No, I will keep your secret. Besides...we have something in common."

"Something in common?" Sif questioned hesitantly. She didn't want to question why Loki would keep her secret, but she couldn't help being confused by it.

Loki sighed again as she folded up her fan. "Yes." She met Sif's eyes as she spoke. "I will entrust you with this secret because I hold one of your own. Even if you should find yourself disgusted by me after this, I doubt you would risk your own secret to slander me."

Sif felt dizzy with mixed feelings. Relief seemed to hit her all once, realizing that Loki did not intend to give her up, along with a rush of confusion. "What secret?"

"I am not Thor's consort," Loki said. Loki set to work peeling back layers until skin was revealed. Sif's eyes widened, her jaw dropped, and her mind came to a screeching halt. "I am his brother."

"What?" Sif exclaimed, pressing a hand to her mouth directly afterwards as if that could reverse her outburst.  "Bu- I-" She stuttered, failing to find the right words as Loki recovered himself. She couldn't stop seeing the pale plain of his chest, though, or the thin muscle where she had expected to find breast.

"Why?" Loki asked for her. "Because I hate fighting and my brother is an idiot." He was back to looking like a perfectly poised woman, but Sif didn't think she could ever see him the same way again. "My father sent us both to war, but as you can see, I am ill suited to it. I would rather pick up a book than a sword, though I am not unable to defend myself." Sif knew that. Loki had given her pointers on her sword fighting many times. Granted, it was through insult more than anything, but it had helped. "We devised this plan together, my brother and I. I create out strategies and battle plans, something he would be astounding poor at, the big oaf. He does all the fighting, and by claiming me as his record keeper and consort, I am allowed to keep his counsel without suspicion on either of us."

Sif felt a swell of admiration and kinship with Loki in that moment. Someone else that understood the burden that was set upon them, the strain of keeping such a secret. Loki had proved to be better at it than she and that fueled the admiration growing in her. "Loki..."

Loki spared a small smile for Sif. "You did well, being all on your own. Make it out of this war, return to Asgard a hero, and perhaps we can both bestow honor to out chosen positions."

Sif finally found it in herself to smile. "I've become a better warrior than most here. I know that I can bring honor to my father's name."

Loki rose, moving to her side. He knelled down, taking her hand in his. "And to your own," He said softly. This voice, she couldn't help thinking, tricked me into thinking it was feminine. These hands tricked me into believing Loki was weak. If Loki could disarm and disguise himself so thoroughly, then surely Sif's plight was not so hard.

"And my own," Sif agreed.

Loki smiled as he stood, dropping her hand. "Rest. I will tell the others that you are awake. You've a few moment to dress, just enough that you are not so...exposed. Tell them it is so that the cold will not aggravate your injury. No one will question it."

"Thank you, Loki."

Loki paused before leaving the tent. "It's... nice," Loki said slowly. "Having someone else that...doesn't fit."

Sifki Week - Day 5: Star-crossed Lovers

sifki week → day seven: ragnarok

sifki week → day six: battlefield

sifki week → day one: young love