Top 10 Side-Scrolling Beat ‘Em Ups
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Top 10 Side-Scrolling Beat ‘Em Ups

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Raymario Man
Free on Xbox Games with Gold this month if you have an Xbox 360 or an Xbox One. I am very unfamiliar with the Rayman franchise. I can tell you that back in the day when my wife and didn't have a kid or excess adipose tissue we played Rayman's Raving Rabbids on her Wii alot alot. And then more recently, when we didn't have anything to watch on TV because I'm picky like a princess with her mattress, the wife and I played some other more recent Rayman game, Legends I think.
So this is Rayman Origins. I don't know if that means it's the first game remastered or a throwback reference or what. I call myself old, but let's face it, most gamers are aging and therefore more in control of the world and therefore forcing this nostalgia on everyone else. I guess.
Side scroller, get as many gold coins rings bananas fairy dudes as you can as you navigate the obstacles. If you like side-scrollers like I like running you won't mind at all, but rather enjoy, the sameness of it all as you plod through mile after mile. But if you don't like side-scrollers, if you never got into Mario back in the day or Donkey Kong Country or Sonic, you're not going to get into this either.
Inside Starts Outside
I was having a chat with someone that I never thought to associate video games with, while our sons crawled around on the floor, making deposits and withdrawals in the shared toddler virus bank. He mentioned Inside, which he said people said was one of the top platformers of all time.
So bought it and played it. I think I would have rather my kid not gotten Hand Foot and Mouth disease: Inside is not so good it was worth the two weeks of sickness my house has now experienced (me included: I feel like warmed-up dog vomit). But it was pretty good.
Inside was made by the same folks who made Limbo, and, for all intents and purposes, it's the same game. I mean, like, Mission Impossible and The Bourne Identity are the same movie. You know what I mean: compared to something very different, they're similar enough to say that if you're not in the mood for one, you're not in the mood for another.
A side-scrolling platformer in very dark tones that features very simple controls, no dialogue, puzzles to solve, and a forgiving restart mechanism when you don't solve the puzzles and wind up bloody and dead. Which happens a lot because they game isn't supposed to be aced in one go, as much, I think, as it supposed to be experienced.
Inside is a moody piece, very creepy, and is trying to say something, and apparently there's an alternate ending if you find all the of secret orbs, and ending which also tries to say something.
You'll spend less money on longer games that you won't finish, but for twenty bucks and a few hours of immersion, Inside is worth the dough. I'm just hoping you're hearing it from me, and not from somebody with a kid who winds up giving you pneumonia.
Otomedius Excellent is available Friday (confirmed)
UPDATE 2: Konami confirmed that Otomedius shipped yesterday (Tuesday, November 2) and should be available at all retailers on Friday. It's almost here!
UPDATE: It would appear that the game isn't available yet. Some of our readers were quick to inform me that they can't find the game anywhere. Amazon.com and BestBuy.com list the game as releasing today but neither have any in stock. Gamestop.com lists the game as releasing on 11/8/11 and Gamefly.com lists the release date as 11/3/11. There appears to be some miscommunication. I've reached out to Konami for a confirmed date and will let you know what I find out.
Otomedius Excellent is now available on the Xbox® 360. It features stunning visuals, thrilling multiplayer action, and a classic shoot-em-up 2D side-scrolling-Gradius-style.
For us Yanks, this is actually the sequel to the 2008 Japanese hit Otomedius Gorgeous. With nine stunning characters to choose from and eight all-new stages of heart-pounding action, Otomedius Excellent presents an exciting world full of intense 2D side-scrolling shooter action. Players team up for the Otomedius experience with up to three players locally or online via Xbox® Live. An exclusive special edition of the game is available, and includes a 2-sided pillowcase and 64-page artbook and soundtrack disc featuring music from the Otomedius and Gradius series. Otomedius Excellent is rated T for Teen by the ESRB. The standard edition is now available on the Xbox 360®video game and entertainment system for $29.99, and the Special Edition is available for $49.99.