#siddgeir

tagged by @thequeenofthewinter

Trigger warning: prelude to SA, nothing terribly graphic.

Future chapter of The Best-Laid Plans Oft Go Awry.

tagging @dirty-bosmer @skyrim-forever @gwilin-stay-winnin @mareenavee @thechaosdragoness @thana-topsy

“My jarl, I’ve helped your people as you asked,” Miranja told Siddgeir with a respectful bow.

“Yes, about that thane title…” Siddgeir said, eyeing her shrewdly. “There are some things you must know about this position that would be better discussed in private.”

Miranja’s hackles rose. So far, no other jarl had indicated there was anything secretive about the position she’d been granted. This didn’t feel right. Nonetheless, ignoring the voice of alarm in her head, she followed Siddgeir when he rose and went to his private chamber, figuring she could defend herself against one man if it came to that.

Once the door was closed, Siddgeir got right to the point. He drew very close to her but refrained from touching her. “Before I give you the pleasure of becoming a thane in my court, I’d like for you to give me some pleasure. Understand?” He reached up and lightly toyed with the lock of hair that had loosened at her temple.

Oh, she understood, all right. What an ass! “Jarl Siddgeir, I don’t know what kind of woman you think I am, but I don’t use sex to get special treatment. My work for you throughout the hold should speak for itself. If you think I’m going to sleep with you to become a thane, then you’re sadly mistaken, and you can shove your thane position straight up your ass.”

"You've proven reliable. There's a group of bandits in my Hold that I... may have had a few discreet dealings with. The cut they were giving me was good at first, but now it's time to clean things up. Go and take care of it."

Siddgeir: I could make you a thane if... Did that mutt just knock something over?

Me: -shrug- Not my mutt.

Siddgeir: But, you brought him into my longhouse.

Me: Nope. He followed me. No idea what that's about.

Barbas: She sat in your throne while you were sleeping!

Siddgeir: I was wondering why it was smeared with blood. Well, no matter. Proof you did the job I asked. Also, I'd love to know how you got the dog to talk.

Barbas: *barks incessently*

-

Arcadia: Watch what you're doing!

Lydia: It wasn't me! It was the dog!

Barbas: Way to rat me out, Lydia.

Arcadia: He talks?

Me: Barks, too. Want some dragon bone?

Arcadia: Ooh, I'd love some dragon bone.

Barbas: I got a bone for ya right here...

Arcadia: ...

Me: ...

Lydia: God, we gotta get rid of him.

-

Farengar: Good to see you! I just got some new spell tomes and scrolls! Have a look!

Barbas: You smell like crappy magic.

Farengar: ... Did your dog just insult me?

Me: He's not my dog. Here, I found some robes I thought you'd like.

Farengar: ... There's blood on them.

Me: Yeah, sorry about that.

Barbas: She kills wizards on the regular. I wouldn't talk to her much longer.

Farengar: I'll give you a hundred Septims if you never bring that thing in here again.