Imagine maglor is changed by the act of throwing away a silmaril, thus denying his oath. We know the oath seems to be a physical thing as well as a psychological, at the very least it seems to hurt in some way when denied and seems to do something to people emotionally. Imagine that, in throwing away the silmaril, maglor essentially ripped the oath off of himself body and soul. Imagine that the act of this left gouges that never quite healed right. Maybe they could have, had he sought out help. Or maybe not, after all there's no precedence for this type of thing. But whatever he did, a part of him was ripped out and thrown into the ocean with the silmaril.
Imagine, after so many ages, he comes back to valinor. His family is ofc overjoyed and wants him home, completely blowing past both ulmo and este's warnings that he's delicate—far more delicate than even they expected. He's just spent a millenia alone and hurt, ofc he is delicate! And anyways he doesn't seem to be improving in the gardens! Let him come home and try! And well, they have a point. And maglor does seem to improve when they come to visit. Este doesn't like it but eventually she relents with careful intructions and the agreement of scheduled visits.
Finarfin is the only one to note that the valar don't seem terribly concerned with punishing maglor. Feanor ofc takes it the wrong way, but maedhros sees what he means. It does seem strange. Even after the halls, there had been stipulations to maedhros's release. There was service he had to perform and rules he had to strictly follow for a good few centuries before people became comfortable enough with his presence. It does seem... odd that none of that appears to be applied to maglor. Though he hates to look a gift horse in the mouth. He tells himself that maybe the valar are feeling generous and have decided that maglor has suffered enough
Turns out, maglor had been wondering the same thing.
"We count your years spent unhealed as penance enough—though perhaps, if you should improve in health, you will eventually be called upon to truly prove yourself changed and pay back whatever you can of the damage you wrought. I do not believe more stress on your body or soul is... currently advisable. And as far as stipulations, I think none are necessary. I doubt you can cause trouble as you are, little one," is the response Este gives. Maedhros doesn't like the sound of that one bit, but maglor only nods slowly and thanks her for her help so far.
It's fine, maedhros tells himself. Maglor had been seen as frail in the past and he has proven that perception wrong at every turn, even when he might not have wanted to. And as for the scars—these long gauges along the right side of his body, seemingly originating from his still-burnt hand as if something was clawed from him—who amongst them doesn't have any? Maglor has always been stronger than his melancholia and his build implies, he will persevere and recover much faster now that he's home!
It starts with the cold. Maglor is always cold. Physically, his temperature fluctuates—going rapidly between normal temperatures and frigid. But he himself seems to always feel cold no matter what. Then, there's the coughing. At first, it's just a horrid, wet cough that comes to him in spells. Then, he starts to cough something up. Seawater. He waves them off and tries to dispose of it as fast as possible but there is no hiding the smell of the ocean as he hacks up what appears to be a whole chamberpot of seawater. He is tired, all the time. He cannot stand direct sunlight for too long or else he gets horrible migraines. He is thirsty all the time. Maedhros once finds him, head underwater, sleeping in the saltwater bath that feanor set up (the only thing that brings him some relief on bad days). He panics and drags maglor out but notices afterwards that maglor appears better rested than he has in days. The last straw is when he stops being able to sing. Or, well, he can sing but it comes out... odd. As if his voice were muffled and distorted, as if he were singing underwater. At this change, the feanorians finally relent and go back to este, seeking answers.
Put him in the ocean, is her response.
She gives them some pills and tinctures for the aches, but stresses that they put him in the ocean.
"He will fight," she warns them, "His resistance will only last until you get him in the water, but he will fight. A part of him still fears to be near it, as much as the proximity will help."
"Near... the ocean?"
"No, dear. Near the Silmaril. Near what remains of his oath. But he needs it, after all the missing parts of his fea are there too. I had hoped he would recover with his loved ones, and he has held out far longer than I expected outside of my care, but it seems we have hit a limit. Now hurry and do as I say, I will be along shortly and explain all then."
They do as she says even though maglor fights, just as she warned them. It helps immensely.
After a few days, maglor emerges. Este is waiting. Quietly, he relents to going back to the gardens.
Tbc? Maybe this is all I got for now
