#sick inside

I feel disgusting in my own skin. My body is my home, I live in it everyday. Some days are messy, some days are clean. Lately I've felt like something has torn through me like a tornado. Pieces of me are everywhere and I can't seem to put them together. I can't find the motivation to rebuild my home.

A random horse ran past my house today. I was just leaving for work and my dad yelled to me that I should go catch the stay horse. I thought he was joking. Nope. Turned out of my driveway and there it was, trotting down the road. Caught up to it and used a leash that I keep in my car to walk out back to my house (yes, I was driving and walking a horse.) Yelled to my dad, "So I caught it! Now what do you want me to do with it?" We began plotting, all the while I was making mental notes as to the condition of this random equine. VERY skinny, too skinny for a horse her size. Cut on her back, open sore on her ankle, various cuts and scrapes EVERYWHERE. This horse needs work but seems to be well mannered. Then the owner showed up (or rather, her boyfriend) and it was the one person I was praying it would not be. They have the backwoods equivalent of a puppy mill. WAY more animals than they can afford. All of which, you can tell at a glace, are neglected. 30+ dogs at any given time. Plus sheep and 1 horse. They had 2 but 1 died. The dogs ate the body. I felt/still feel sick inside knowing that is the place this horse was going. I had to bite my tongue cause I wanted tho ask if this one was going to end up as dog food too. And there's nothing I can do. I've checked. I've tried. There are no animal cruelty laws here. They are property. Maybe if I get some kind of fencing up on my land I could go beg for her. They'd probably say no.