“Oh, God...”

It was a sob more than words and in the next blink, Blaine was by Kurt’s bed, clutching his hand.

“Kurt...? Kurt, honey, I’m here. I’m here. You’re okay, you’re safe. You’re okay...”

The beeping remained steady though Kurt was sure his heart just broke. Slowly, he moved to stand behind Blaine, hovering as Blaine collapsed onto a chair, every reflex in his wanting to wrap his arms around his shaking husband.

“I’m here, too,” he breathed out.

Blaine kept crying.

--

“He must be so tired.”

Blaine was asleep with his head resting against Kurt’s mattress, his breaths coming out as short puffs.

“He doesn’t know how to use the washing machine. It’s okay, though, I wouldn’t trust him with most of my clothes anyway. He’s quite useless with most of the household chores. He does them, sure, but somehow mopping the kitchen turns into a Cinderfella musical.”

Kurt wasn’t sure who he was talking to. His comatose body most surely wasn’t listening and the empty room didn’t care. But the silence was simply too loud to listen to with the ever-present beeping of his heart-monitor. It was mocking him, telling him he was still alive and yet unable to wake the hell up.

“I love him so much.”

It couldn’t end like this. After everything, now that they were finally there... It couldn’t end like this.

“I can’t leave them.”

Kurt’s hand went right through Blaine’s arm. Blaine jerked awake, “Kurt...?” escaping his lips and Kurt wanted to hug him.

Nothing changed.

--

His dad looked older. Like he had shrunk. He almost seemed weak, as if the universe had finally managed to break him.

Kurt hated the universe.

“Blaine, have you spoken with the doctor?”

“I have.”

“He thinks it’s time to...”

“...to pull the plug. Yeah, he told me.”

“What?!” Kurt shrieked. “No! I’m waking up! I am!”

“You’re not going to.”

“Of course I’m not going to!” Blaine yelled. “I can’t... How would I...? Burt, I can’t. I won’t.”

Burt sighed. Kurt could tell how tired he was just by his posture. “He’s my baby boy,” he said. “He’d argue that he’s too old for me to say that...”

“I’m not.”

“...but he is. It’s not any easier for me to see him like this than it is for you. And I want to believe that he’ll open his eyes any minute now and tell us that we’ve been worrying for nothing but Blaine, the chances are that he won’t.”

Kurt blinked. “Dad!”

“I’ve lost a wife and a stepson that I considered my own and it’s going to crush me to lose him, too. But Kurt wouldn’t want this. He wouldn’t want to stay like this forever while we waste away waiting. Think of Tracy. He needs you now more than ever! And you haven’t even been home for two days.”

Guilt twisted Kurt’s guts as Blaine closed his eyes, the same emotion twisting his soft features.

“He keeps asking for Kurt.” Blaine’s voice was raw.

“Of course. He misses him.”

“I don’t know what to say to him. He barely smiles anymore and it kills me. He’s so young, he shouldn’t have to...” Blaine’s sentence was broken by a sob that he barely managed to swallow. “I feel guilty when I’m here because I’m not home and I feel guilty when I’m home because I’m not here. I just... I don’t... I don’t know what to do.”

Burt nodded, slowly. “Blaine... It’s the last thing I want, it really is. But maybe you should...”

“NO!” Blaine shouted the same time as Kurt did.

“No, Blaine, don’t,” Kurt said, knowing his words went unheard. “Not yet. I know this is not fair and I want to wake up, I really do. I’m trying. I want to come back to you. To all of you, to you and Tracy, I... I’m not ready to go. Please, please, don’t let me go. Not yet. Not yet. I’ll wake up, I will! I promise. I promise. Please...”

Blaine turned his head and Kurt’s heart jolted when his eyes met his. For a second or two, it was like Blaine could see him.

“Not yet,” Blaine mumbled. “Not yet. He’ll come back to us.”

“Okay,” Burt replied. Kurt wondered if he imagined the relief in his voice. “Okay. Not yet.”

The room was silent after that until Burt left a few hours later, after making Blaine promise he’d come home for the night. Kurt watched as his husband smoothed out the sheets of the hospital bed and rearranged the new bouquets of flowers that had arrived earlier that day. For about an hour or so, he kept himself busy by doing small things before sinking back to the chair that had been his second home for the last three weeks.

“I can feel you right here with me,” he said quietly. “Is that silly?”

“No,” Kurt whispered. “Blaine, I am here. Right here.”

“God, I... I miss you. I miss you so much. Especially when I’m putting Tracy down to bed. That’s our time. I never realized it until now but it’s... it’s that one moment in the day we’re all together even if one of us is not home. Like that time when you were in London. Every night during bed time we’d call you and we sang to him together until he fell asleep. Those 15 minutes it takes for him to fall asleep, we’re always together. Even when we’re not.”

A tear fell on Kurt’s cheek. He missed his little boy like crazy and wished more than anything that he could somehow steal his way to the 2 years old’s dreams and tell him everything would be fine.

“I have to go home tonight,” Blaine continued. “I’ve been a lousy dad.”

“Oh, Blaine, no you haven’t.”

“I hate leaving you alone.”

“I know. It’s okay.”

“I love you so, so much, Kurt... Please, don’t...”

Blaine didn’t finish but Kurt knew what he wanted to say. He stepped closer to his heartbroken husband and slowly reached out his hand until his fingers were hovering just an inch from Blaine’s shoulder.

“I won’t,” he sobbed out. “I won’t, Blaine. I love you, too.”

Ever so carefully, he let his fingers touch Blaine’s shoulder.

Blaine shivered. “Kurt...”

“Shh. I love you. Go home to our son. Tell him Daddy loves him.”

Blaine stood up. He leaned down to kiss Kurt’s forehead, whispered “I love you,” one more time and then left the room. Kurt followed him to the door, wishing he could walk through it and go home with his husband.

“I have to wake up,” he said. “I have to.”

--

“You once thought of me as a white knight on a steed Now you know how happy I can be...”

Tracy, still teary after a yet another ‘where’s Daddy?’ episode, rested his head against Blaine’s shoulder and yawned. His tiny fingers curled up around the fabric of Blaine’s shirt and his eyes closed slowly as he fell asleep to Blaine’s quiet singing.

“...but how much baby do we really need...?” Blaine sang, carefully lowering the boy to his bed before covering him up. He kept humming under his breath as he knelt down on the floor next to the bed, feeling lonely in a way he hadn’t quite experienced before.

“Daddy loves you, Tracy,” he murmured. “He loves you so much.”

He pushed back some of Tracy’s brown hair off his forehead. Officially, they didn’t know which one was the bio dad but anyone could see Kurt’s features on the boy’s pale face. His nose, his eyes, the shape of his face... He was like a miniature Kurt and Blaine managed an actual smile at the thought of a kindergarten aged Tracy with Kurt mannerisms.

He could only hope Kurt would be there to help him raise their little boy.

--

A week.

Then two.

Kurt had tried everything. He had yelled at himself, stayed quiet, even prayed, begged, and finally cried but his body lay unmoving on the bed with no physical signs of recovery though the doctors kept saying that it was just up to him now.

Kurt hated them for saying that. It wasn’t up to him. Had it been up to him, he’d have woken up weeks ago. Had it been up to him, he wouldn’t put his family, his husband, his son, his dad and Carole, his friends, through the hell they were living in.

It wasn’t up to him.

Kurt didn’t know who it was up to but he was starting to lose the strength to bargain with them anymore.

“I’m so sorry, Blaine,” he sobbed on the day he had been in coma for 7 weeks. Blaine was crying silently into his hands and all Kurt wanted to do was hug him. Instead, he stood a few feet away and cried, too. “I’m so sorry.”

Blaine whispered it, too. And Kurt knew it was time for big, hard decisions.

--

“Blaine...” the doctor sighed. “It’s been nearly two months.”

“I know,” Blaine replied slowly, frowning.

“As hard as it is, we’re going to have to start talking about the fact that your husband might not wake up.”

Blaine shook his head. “Don’t.”

His voice was so tired. So broken and beaten and tears welled up in Kurt’s eyes as he watched Blaine kiss the palm of his unmoving hand.

“You have to let him go.”

“Stop it.”

“Bl...”

“Please... please just go,” Blaine whispered.

The doctor left him alone when Blaine didn’t respond to his one more attempt of an actual conversation. The room was silent except for the beeping of the heart-monitor..

God how Kurt wanted to break it pieces.

“I hate him,” Blaine mumbled suddenly. “He’s right and I hate him. I hate him, I...”

“No, you don’t.”

Blaine sniffed. “No, I don’t.” He buried his face into his hands. “God, Kurt. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t do this to you. Or Tracy.”

“Or yourself,” Kurt said quietly. “Blaine, honey. It’s okay.” It didn’t matter that Blaine couldn’t hear him, he had things he needed to say. “You gave me time. You believed in me. But this... this is just not up to us.”

“You promised you’d never say goodbye to me.”

“I won’t.”

“I just never thought I’d be the one who’d have to say it.”

Kurt wanted to scream as Blaine broke down completely and started crying. His sobbing drowned the other noises of the room and with each sob, Kurt felt his world crumble a little more.

Blaine’s crying was suddenly interrupted by the sound of his phone binging with a text message. He wiped his eyes and took a quick look before putting it back into his pocket.

“I have a little surprise for you,” he said, his voice raw. As if on cue, the door opened.

“Daddy!”

“Oh God...”

Tracy had grown, Kurt noticed. His hair was longer, too.

And suddenly, Kurt wasn’t so ready to let go after all.

“Daddy! Daddy, Daddy!”

Tracy squirmed out of Burt’s arms and wobbled on his short legs to the bed. Blaine lifted him up and Kurt gasped as he felt the soft touch of the small hand on his cheek.

“Wake up, Daddy! Wake up!”

“I will. I will, baby, I will, I promise, I...”

“Kurt?”

And then Kurt felt the hold of Blaine’s hand, soft and strong, and he squeezed and Blaine nearly fell on his knees.

“Kurt? Kurt, honey, can you hear me??”

Kurt felt oxygen filling his lungs. He felt the soft mattress under him. He felt the weight of his son and his husband’s free hand petting his hair.

He felt his heart beat.

He closed his eyes. And when he opened them, he was looking up instead of down.

He heard his name, he heard Tracy’s young, delighted shrieks, and he wanted to answer, to finally say that he really was still here. He was told to blink by an unfamiliar voice and he did, frowning, and then coughed when commanded and then there was pain in his throat that made him gag and then he could at last turn his head to see Blaine and Burt, with Tracy in his arms.

“...hey...”

“Don’t try to speak. Your throat will be raw for a while,” the unfamiliar voice said and Kurt only obeyed because his throat really did hurt. “...be back in a while.”

“Oh my God, Kurt!” Blaine whimpered as soon the doctor was out of the room, crossing the room to hug him, barely mindful of all the wires Kurt was still attached to. “Oh God, you scared me... You scared me...!”

“I’m sorry...”

“Hey, no, you heard the doc, don’t try to talk,” Burt said, his own voice thick with emotion. “Welcome back.”

Kurt managed a smile. Burt lowered Tracy back down onto the bed. The boy was more careful now as he snuggled his way to his dads’ arms. Kurt heard his dad say “I’ll go tell Carole” and then they were alone, just three of them in the white room.

“I love you.” 

Kurt squeezed Blaine’s hand to tell him that he knew, that he loved him, too, and that he was there. He was there, he was back, he was awake.

“I figured you wouldn’t leave me alone with that monster of a washing machine.”

Maybe it was stupid but if he had ever, in that moment Kurt believed in soulmates. He shook his head in amusement, hugged his son closer and tugged Blaine into a soft, sweet kiss.

The monitor kept beeping. Kurt didn’t hate it anymore.

--

 Kurt let out a light sigh when he heard shuffling behind him. There goes his last moment of alone time. These mornings Kurt no longer slept in wasting away mornings, but instead did everything he could to wake up first. It was a peaceful time where all he had to worry about was himself. It wasn’t filled with awkward silence like the rest of the day.

He could feel Blaine’s eyes on them and he prayed there would be some recognition when he turned around. “Good morning, your coffee will be ready in a short minute. I just started it. Go ahead and take a seat and I will start breakfast hmm?” Kurt directed before turning his attention to preparing breakfast. In their old years Blaine’s mind had started to fade. Kurt isn’t positive what Blaine remembers and what he forgets, especially since Blaine’s communication was the first thing to go. His words are extremely limited, not that uses any words very often. Sometimes Kurt isn’t sure if he can’t answer questions or he is just afraid to. But Blaine has now glued himself to Kurt’s side and no matter how much it sometimes annoys Kurt he stays by Blaine as long as he needs him because Kurt still loves him with everything he has.

Kurt first gave Blaine his usual coffee, reminding Blaine to be careful because it is very hot, before returning with a plate of eggs, toast, and grapefruit. “Eat up we have a very busy day ahead of us.” Kurt said as cheerfully as he could, taking his usual spot at the table across from Blaine.

It was a small table with really only room for three people. It smaller than the one in their first tiny apartment they had found together, but Kurt and Blaine decided it was time to down size over a year ago when Kurt had lost his ability to go up and down the stairs multiple times a day without putting strain on his heart, and Kurt has come to find some humor in the fact that he is losing his body and Blaine is losing his mind. It was just the two of them again, their kids all grown up and on their own, so a small townhome with the master bedroom on the first floor worked perfectly for them.

“After we finish breakfast we need to get ready because Clara will be here around ten,” Kurt started taking a sip of his tea. “Today is our anniversary so she is going to drive us out to the city to meet Tor for lunch and then go see a show.”

Kurt waited patiently for any sign of some expression of recognition, he gently reached and held Blaine’s free hand, praying he wouldn’t pull away. He watched carefully, absent-mindedly playing with Blaine’s wedding ring. They spent their whole lives together after that first kiss in front of Kurt’s house. They broke up twice, each only lasting a little over than a week, both realizing they couldn’t live without the other one. They knew early they were meant to be together so it wasn’t much of a shock when they got married young. It still didn’t stop people from saying it wouldn’t last. They had their ups and downs, but neither of them gave up on the other.

They had two very successful children; the first child was biologically Blaine’s through a surrogate, Clara. Blaine hated that she got his curls, but Kurt loved them. Clara was always a bright minded girl, very independent, and almost always had her nose in a book. When she was little she wanted to work in a museum because it was her favorite place to visit, somehow it turned into becoming a nurse. Like them she married young to a police officer, who tragically died on duty a year after they were married. Clara had dated since then but she never remarried and never had children.

Their second child was an adopted red headed boy. They originally didn’t plan on adopting. Their second child was biologically supposed to be Kurt’s but first there was difficulty with the surrogate getting pregnant and then when she finally did she lost the baby after five months. After two years of mourning Kurt decided he still wanted a second baby and that they should adopt a child who needed someone to love them. Toronto, Tor for short, was an infant when they got him. The mother was a young high school girl, barely the age of fifteen when she got pregnant. Tor was not as easy as Clara. As a baby he had a lot of stomach problems, which caused him to cry a lot. He never developed as fast and as a child he was shy and withdrawn from everyone else. Teachers explained that it could be a high functioning form of autism that kept him a step or two behind everyone else. Despite this he had become a successful chef in New York, graduating top of his class in culinary school. And though he did not marry young, he had given Kurt and Blaine their first grandchildren almost right out of his marriage, two identical twin boys named Alex and Andrew, who were now in high school. About two and half years after the birth of their twins they had a baby girl, Isabella.

Kurt’s heart was ready to beat out of his chest when he realized Blaine’s eyes were still vacant and he uncomfortably pulled his hand away from Kurt, fidgeting in his seat. They finished the rest of breakfast in silence, not that Kurt was able to finish his plate losing his appetite after a couple of bites.  

When Kurt was done cleaning the breakfast dishing, giving Blaine the job of drying them because he wanted to help, he began to get Blaine ready for the day. It involved helping Blaine shave, style his hair, picking out an outfit as well as helping him get dressed. Blaine needed help for almost everything lately. After Blaine was ready Kurt turned on the television for him telling him he still needed to shower and get ready himself, hoping Blaine wouldn’t follow him into the bathroom today. He reminded Blaine that Clara, their daughter – he specified, was coming and she had a key to their house so he wouldn’t freak out when she came in, not that he has done that yet, but he wasn’t sure if Blaine would remember her today or not. Before he was able to leave the room Blaine grabbed his hand. Kurt examined his face closely to figure out what he needed.

“Blaine? What is it?” he asked softly not thinking it was something important, just something Blaine wanted.

Blaine squeezed Kurt’s hand giving it a light tug to guide Kurt closer towards him.

“Blaine it’s just me you can tell me,” Kurt tried to encourage Blaine to try words. He could see that Blaine was beginning to get overwhelmed. He just wasn’t sure what it was. “Are you nervous about eating out today in the city? Tor promised it was a quiet place with a small menu, and I can order for you if you want me to.” He explained taking a guess this was what Blaine was nervous about.

Blaine shook his head trying to pull Kurt to sit on the sofa with him, almost begging. He opened and closed his mouth several times before speaking “Kurt … um … hmmm  … please”

“I’m sorry Blaine I –“ Kurt started but stopped when Blaine placed his palm firmly on Kurt’s chest. Kurt paused trying to understand. He took a deep calming breath hoping Blaine would mimic him. He gently took Blaine’s hand giving it a squeeze to comfort Blaine. “It’s okay Blaine. It’s okay. I’m just getting ready, I promise not to take too long today and I will only be right in there okay?” Kurt explained, giving Blaine a loving kiss to further reassure him before disappearing into the master bathroom.  

As he got into the shower he let the hot water run over his aching bones, probably from all the stress lately. Blaine has been getting worse and needing Kurt more, and as much as Kurt loved Blaine he was getting exhausted from it. Maybe he could ask Clara to come by more to help him? He really didn’t want to hire someone yet or place Blaine in a home.

He felt a flutter in his chest, but reasoned it as nothing to worry about, just concern for Blaine and their situation. He got them from time to time in his old age, but they never progressed they way they had before and ever since his heart surgery when he was young Kurt made sure to take his medicine and to follow all of the doctor’s orders. He let out a sigh and reached for his shampoo knowing he couldn’t spend too long in the shower. His hand shook slightly and he decided the water was maybe too hot for him, but as he turned around to adjust the temperature his vision swam, he let out a gasp as his legs buckled under him and he fell onto the shower floor with a loud. He heard the ringing in his ears and felt his chest thumping before passing out.

           When Kurt woke up he had a strong feeling of deja vu. A bright light flooded his vision, making him wonder if he as dead.

“No, you’re not dead.” A voice spoke next to him.

He breathed heavily as he turned his head to see who was there. Sitting there was Clara looking similar to the way she had when she was in the hospital waiting to hear about late husband. He laid there quietly, letting his mind catch up to what was happening. He fell in the shower … no he fainted in the shower getting ready for his and-

“Blaine” he asked urgently, and worried.

“Daddy is at home with Toronto. He was causing too many problems when they were trying to help you so they asked me to take him home. Once Tor arrived I came back.” She explained as calm as she could, her voice heavy, tired, and wavering a little. She took a shaky breath trying not to cry before continuing to explain what happened. “When I got to your house I couldn’t find anyone. At first I thought you were both in the shower, but then I heard Daddy crying. I found him with you in the shower; he hadn’t even turned the water off.  He dialed 9-1-1 but all he could get out was “Help, Kurt, and No”. When we got to the hospital, he wouldn’t let them take you away, he was confused and scared.”

“Clara … “ he breathed hard feeling his chest tighten as the monitor picked up.

She reached over and took his hand trying to calm him down, “he’s fine now. He’s worried, but Tor is with him, keeping him company, probably doing puzzles.”

“You should give them a call.” He instructed softly, not wanting to keep Blaine worried for a long time, “and maybe get me some water?”

“Sure thing, Papa” She smiled softly giving his forehead a soft kiss the same way he used to when she stayed home from school sick as a little girl. She would have been a wonderful mother.  

The next person to enter the small room was a doctor. With no nurse coming in it must be pretty bad. He rushed in immediately grabbing and opening Kurt’s file to further study it. He didn’t even look up as he spoke to Kurt. Blaine would have a fit over his manners. Kurt hoped Clara got in contact with them to let Blaine know he was okay.

“Mr. Hummel, I caught your daughter outside and she alerted me you were awake.” He spoke with little emotion in his voice, sounding more rehearsed and robotic. He was young; it made Kurt wonder if he was just out of school or if everyone just seemed young to him now. Kurt wanted to roll his eyes; the young doctor didn’t even introduce himself.

“Hummel-Anderson or Kurt will do fine.” Kurt informed, wincing as he shifted to sit up more than lay down.

“I’m sorry?” He asked confused finally looking up from the file.

“My name is Kurt Hummel-Anderson and I would appreciate if you addressed me as such. Mr. Hummel is my father.” Kurt explained losing his patience.

“Right.” He responded, pausing to close the file slowly before continuing. “Mr. Hummel-Anderson I’m sure your daughter explained what happened if you didn’t remember-“

“I remember” Kurt cut him off. He wanted to be at home with Blaine.

“Your heart is-”

“Is failing, I’m dying. Am I correct Doctor?” Kurt filled in, straightening the blanket before looking the young doctor in the eye.

“You knew?” he asked more amused than shocked.

“I watched my mother and father die in a hospital and I refuse to do the same. Maybe it’s further along than I originally assumed but there is nothing anyone can do for me. So if you could please just release me?” Kurt requested hoping that the young doctor would understand.

“Mr. Hummel,” He began with a sigh and looking away … he didn’t understand.

“Hummel-Anderson” Kurt corrected shortly.

“Mr. Hummel-Anderson we could make you comfortable here. We need to take care of you.” He attempted to explain losing his confidence.

“I need to be home with my husband. He needs me more than I need to be here.” Kurt nearly shouted losing his ability to stay calm.

“You will stay here.” Clara declared with finality from the doorway holding a cup of water. Kurt is well aware somewhere along growing up she picked up his stubbornness.

“I’ll leave you two be.” He said not getting out of the room fast enough. Kurt wondered if he would now be assigned a new doctor.

“Clara” he sighed tiredly now, “there is nothing they can do.”

“No. They will help you. You will get better you need to stay and get better so you can take care of Daddy. He needs you.” Clara begged on the verge of tears.

“They can’t help. It’s too late. I don’t want to spend my last moments here.” He gently explained reaching out for her. She instantly came over, crying in a similar way that she had as a little girl. It felt like she was a child again as she cried into his shoulder.

“I love you Papa,” she sobbed.

“I know, and I love you my darling.” He responded, kissing her forehead. “Listen I was going to wait for another day to bring this up, but I need someone to take care of your Dad when I-”

“Don’t’ … please just don’t” She begged, fresh tears threatening to spill out of her eyes.

“Okay, but I don’t want your Dad to be left when I’m gone. It’s a lot of work and you won’t have to do it yourself, but don’t leave him alone. He needs someone there.” Kurt explained stroking her soft brown curly hair.

“I’ll take care of him,” Clara answered in full seriousness.

“Clara it’s a lot more work than you think. He doesn’t communicate and he needs someone to bath and shave him and-“ He tried to explain before being cut off.

“And what do you think I do as a geriatrics nurse?” She answered raising an eyebrow. “I will cut back on my hours and if it ever becomes necessary I will look into a place that offers the best care in the world. Even if it’s in another country.”

“You’re too good for us,” Kurt laughed lightly.

“I’m just trying to make you forget all the awful things I’ve done growing up” She smiled back.

“You were never awful” Kurt informed as he took the cup of water from her to sip it slowly.

“Did you get in contact with your Dad and Tor?” he asked after a couple more sips of water.

“Yes, but first there is a surprise waiting for you if you feel up to it?” She asked excitedly barely staying still. So much like Blaine used to do when he couldn’t keep a secret.

“Absolutely” Kurt nodded his smile widening as Tor and Blaine walked through the door to his room.

Blaine didn’t even wait for permission or hesitate in the slightest at rushing over to give Kurt a hug. Kurt rubbed his back soothingly for a moment before pulling back and having Blaine take the seat next to his bed.

“Dad decided that he could make up you missing your lunch date with a anniversary picnic and even packed you an overnight bag so you would be comfortable” Toronto explained holding up a small soft cooler and placing the duffle bag under the chair, out of the way.

“Thank you” Kurt spoke, his voice filled with emotions. He carefully leaned over and planted a soft kiss on Blaine’s cheek making sure to grab his hand and hold it tightly.

“We’re going to go grab food somewhere close by and leave you two be for a little while. We’ll in back an hour or so.”  Clara added escorting her brother out of the room to give them more privacy.

Kurt’s eyes watered, suddenly filled with fear and emotion he hadn’t had before. He didn’t know his heart would fail this soon. He is older than his dad had been, but it wasn’t enough time.

Blaine gently reached over wiping away the tear trying to give a reassuring smile.

“Can you help me change into the pajamas you bought? This hospital gown isn’t very soft.” Kurt asked after clearing the emotion from his throat.

Blaine nodded firmly, moving gently as possible. It was usually the other way around, him dressing Blaine. Mostly because if Blaine was left alone for a long period of time he tended to get nervous and sometimes forgot where he is and what he is supposed to be doing. But Blaine was gentle and careful with helping Kurt into his cotton pajama set. Kurt watched closely as Blaine buttoned his shirt, his hands only shaking slightly.

“You knew something was wrong this morning. That’s what you were trying to tell me?” Kurt asked finally understanding Blaine’s odd behavior from earlier.

“You … your …” Blaine let out a frustrated sigh when he couldn’t find the words.

“It’s okay. You noticed I was having trouble breathing.” Kurt filled in slowly trying to get Blaine over his embarrassment and frustration.

Blaine finally looked at Kurt his eyes welling with tears, probably remembering the fear he felt.

“I thought maybe I missed taking my medicine or something. I promise I wasn’t trying to hide it from you,” Kurt tried to explain. “I also didn’t notice it as much. I was so distracted with getting ready in time that I missed the signs. I am so sorry Blaine.”

“Don’t be” Blaine softly commanded letting some more stray tears fall. Kurt gently reached over wiping them away with his thumbs and holding onto Blaine’s face for a moment longer before Blaine embarrassingly turned away.

“I can’t believe after years of using cement on your hair you still have most of it.” Kurt joked, admiring that Blaine still looked younger than he actually is. “Compared to you I did not age well.” Kurt added slumping back down into the hospital bed watching carefully as Blaine ruffled through the duffle bag. Kurt began to worry that he forgot he already gave Kurt his pajamas.

“Honey you already-“ Kurt began to carefully explain he was already changed when Blaine presented him with the bear he bought him in the hospital after his first heart surgery. He took the bear from Blaine. For the first time in a while he was speechless. Blaine remembered. Suddenly he had no more doubts. Blaine would never forget him.

“I love you so much, Blaine. Never forget how much I love you.” Kurt’s voice was wet. He let out a small sob not bothering to swallow down his emotions any longer.

“Kurt?” Blaine asked worried. He placed a frightened hand on Kurt’s arm.

Kurt reached out and held onto both his hands taking a few deep breathes before explaining. “My hearts failing. There isn’t anything they can do. I’m not in a good enough condition for surgery and treatment won’t help much.”

He watched Blaine carefully, his emotions going from confused to scared to angry in a matter of seconds. Maybe he should have waited for Clara and Toronto to return before explaining. But it was too late now he needed to push and get everything out. Blaine has needed him for so long he forgot how to rely on Blaine, but now he needed him.

“I’m so scared. I don’t want to leave you. I don’t want to be here in the hospital. My parents died in hospitals and it always felt so cold and lonely. I want to be at home in our bed.” Kurt was having trouble breathing again; he let himself get too upset.

“Kurt” Blaine said as calmly as possible trying to help Kurt calm himself down. “Okay?”

“Yeah sorry.” Kurt apologized after he got his breathing under control again. “I’m sorry I just really want to go home.”

Blaine gently pulled Kurt’s hand and placed it on his own chest. Kurt unconsciously matched Blaine’s breathing patterns, their hearts almost becoming in sync with one another, except for the one or two beats Kurt’s heart would miss.

“Home” He whispered firmly, his eyes begging Kurt to understand.

Kurt nodded in response, taking his hand wipe away the last of his tears.

“You promise not to leave me?” He asked for confirmation.

“Yeah” Blaine answered nodding.

           After being assigned another doctor, someone with more seniority and some pull from people Clara had met in her work Kurt was able to leave the hospital, but was told he needed to have an oxygen tank and maybe some more therapy to help.

Things with Blaine weren’t easier when they got home, sometimes Blaine would have days where he couldn’t recognize Kurt or their home. These days sometimes resulted in a lot of anger that took a lot of energy from Kurt. Kurt decided they would bring back Blaine’s hobby of scrapbooking to record as many memories as possible for Blaine and it was something Blaine could still do, puzzles that the doctor suggested weren’t even possible anymore, he would sit and stare at the pieces not even attempting to try to make them fit together. Clara and Toronto came by more often. It was rare to go a day without seeing a least one of them.

It was another six months before Kurt passed away. It had been a good day in the sense that Blaine recognized him, but Kurt was exhausted by that point and could barely make it out of bed or stay awake. They were snuggled on the couch watching a movie when Kurt fell asleep and slip away.

Clara was the one who had found them, thankfully since she had more experience with death than her brother did. The funeral was overwhelming. Blaine was having one of his episodes and they almost couldn’t get him to attend.  Clara wasn’t positive if her Dad understood what had happened. He refused to speak anyone or even acknowledge them, so when she did ask if he understood he wouldn’t give an answer either way. Her niece and nephews clung to him but there was no recognition in his eyes, he just politely allowed them to hug and hold onto him.

Clara took no hesitation in stepping in to take care of her dad. Most of the time he assumed she was only his nurse and not his daughter. Some of the time he would forget his age and beg for Kurt his boyfriend. He rarely remembered he even had kids. She and her brother took him to see Kurt’s grave as often as possible hoping in some way it kept him grounded. In the last few months of her father’s life she began to consider placing him in a care center after he left the house without telling her. He thankfully hadn’t tried to drive, and she found him quickly in a coffee shop not fare from where she lived, but it still frightened her. She never placed him in a center or home. She couldn’t leave him alone like her Papa feared he would be.