One of the things about being the eldest of 3 siblings born from immigrant parents is the immense responsibility you feel, especially when the middle child has severe autism and the youngest was born 4 years after you. I feel as if some finite amount of strength exists. Parents over time utilize that strength for their children, slowly depleting their reserves as the children build theirs up. Dare I say, we leech it off of our parents, believing it to be an infinite resource. At a certain point, the children possess the strength while the aged parents are the ones in need. One of my siblings will always be in need. To support the system which supported me is a priority I have set for myself. But I know there will be times in the future when the balance between my family and my future family (husband, kids) will be tested. I can only hope that I find the courage to face that.