#shutxemdown

so why do you hate me

why you enabling my slow descent????

          ❝  — And,  n o   o f f e n s e , you people really need the hot water. You just smell like you’ve been in that bus for a WEEK.  ❞

          THE FIRST THING THAT HITS IS THE SMELL — years of weak cleaning supplies and the hazy dusting of cigarette smoke still embedded in everything, from the sheets to the ceiling. And through the dim light of 5:56 a.m., he can almost see the yellow staining in the walls. The last time he looked at that clock, it was nearing four. Even then, who knows when he finally passed out? Yet here he is, any chance at sleep as far as the trek to Ecuador. At least the break of dawn gives him the time to try and remember the past six hours.          IT’S THAT HOUR WHEN ONE HALF OF THE WORLD has to die out to make room for the other. More than half the sounds from the highway must be minivans, packed with tired kids who have better things to do than go to school. Much like the soccer mom in the front seat, desperately waiting for the chance to go home and down a couple shots of Cuervo before her day really starts. And as they seem to rise from the proverbial grave, he can’t help but note the haunting silence surrounding the motel.                                   — May as well get up now.          HIS CLOTHES ARE SCATTERED JUST FAR ENOUGH that the thought tempts him to leave one sock behind. Odds are, it’s somewhere on the bed, and there is no way in hell Duke will start digging through sheets for something like that. Not with the way Red is snoring. Though, whether it be out of courtesy or the distant-but-nonetheless-present hope of some screwed up form of a Cinderella story ( Princess Duke; it’s strangely fitting ), he does think to leave his personal number on the nightstand before slipping out into the early morning.

[12:11 AM] ransomxnotes: okay imma grab food and then we can watch [12:11 AM] stuntman mike: ... have you looked at the time [12:12 AM] stuntman mike: just out of curiosity [12:14 AM] ransomxnotes: .... [12:14 AM] ransomxnotes: no i haven't wtf

ashton has a bad habit of just inhaling whatever he’s eating, so he burns his tongue A LOT. at this point, he just kinda whines about it for a second before going right back to eating/drinking.

he has... a lot of insecurities. while only a few of them are actual physical insecurities (his teeth, most of his scars, the lil pouch of fat on his tummy he gets when he tries to get clean/lessens up on drugs), a lot of them are instilled into him from years of abuse. both his father and josh instilled a sense of less than into him, and made him believe he was LUCKY to even have either of them. he’s very insecure about being too clingy (which he often is because he’s afraid of getting left), insecure about being too emotional, insecure about being stupid, just insecure about his general personality.