i need a really intense emotional fluff/fight/slowbuild niall series/short stories to read. pls rec me y’all

tao thinks women and girls are amazing and as much as I personally am excited to hype my favourite boy as someone actively supportive of women with an interest and concern for equality and other issues, it’s. also deflating that it’s /that/ nice. that it’s almost a little relief to think oh good this man I like isn’t awful and doesn’t have anything terrible to say about his views on women! he’s thoughtful and helps women, supports their causes (and has done since he was a teenager), and cares for his female fans to no personal gain. wonderful. he is not someone I count as a cis man either so like,,I still trust 0 of them

So far school is going horribly for me =w=

@actualhumansunshine am i your biggest fan? i feel like every time i come on here i’m reblogging everything you post bc you post some Good Shit™

actually wrt to that previous ask, I think these are conversations worth having and if I didn’t struggle so much with anxiety and communication I’d be having them here too. I’m so tired of being tired myself and seeing my queer friends upset/worried/self loathing for such small harmless things, for just wanting to quietly hope or have a happy little thought and being made to feel bad about themselves for it. some of the asks I’ve had in the past have broken my heart how badly some people are made to feel for just wanting to hold a concept dear. I used to reach out to people more about these things because I was more involved in the comm, and I used to have a little circle to share meta with so queer subjects came up more and I met a lot of you lovely soft people that way. with my circumstances over the past year I just didn’t have the energy for it anymore and lost the friends and confidence and then felt safer leaving my grumbling for an account I could make private. I hate seeing us all doing this, locking and hiding and not feeling able to question unfair rules n being so cautious of what we say, doubting our own worth even, I really hate that and the lack of nuanced conversation around all of this n just. u know I’m always gonna be anxious and too soft for my own good and frustrated by how hard this has always been from when I got into idols in 2006 through to disappointingly little changing now. whatever, I’m still always here to talk to or listen even if I post less about these kinds of things now n I love you all very much 🌷🌷🌷

hi please don’t rb this!🚫 it took me a while to be brave enough to post it at all. but not to be grouchy the moment I wake up but @ yall demanding an apology or that he should have known better, do you know how many people me a whole mentally ill person has had to convince that he even did something..idek what word to use. bad/wrong/upsetting? even friends who know my circumstances. I have had to explain this as simply as possible and at times back down because people get dismissive, think you’re making a fuss over nothing, being over sensitive. go to any article or large twt about this and they’re full of people not even defending him but just dismissing the entire issue, because they say those things all the time/it’s not a big deal/to them it’s not offensive etc etc. this is why I couldn’t work up the energy to even be disappointed, aside from it being more of a hypocritical fan war than bc people suddenly care. I’m happy to defend him as someone I trust not to have malicious intent. I actually don’t expect him to know better. I live in a country with very raised mental health awareness and I hear these kinds of comments and jokes thrown around every single day, both with malicious intent and just plain ignorantly. I hear them from the professionals who are supposed to be helping me. sometimes even my own mother, my carer, who is with me and my garbage brain every day and dedicates her time to making sure I don’t like, die, slips and says things like this. being mentally ill effects me every single day and he makes me happy every single day. if you really care so much about our actual wellbeing then do something about nd fans being harassed for the way they interact with fandom, stop terrifying people into not sharing (or writing. or even feeling ok /thinking/) harmless concepts that make them feel a bit happier in the world. stop telling mentally ill fans who see things in their idols that their idols are too attractive/healthy/Normal and implying less than perfect mental health is an insult. if you want people to know better and actually improve the lives of mentally ill people there’s literally hundreds of them right here, discussing this issue, that you can educate. attacking him for a few days to get moral purity points isn’t actually gonna do shit for the people you suddenly care so much about🌻

(no rb please 🚫💓)while I’m on these kinds of subjects, if you read my fics you maybe know I wrote Unbeleafable, which is entirely about autistic cy being flappy and struggling a lil bit while going about his life meanwhile junmyeon pines for him so hard it’s kinda sad djdh and like I was really, really scared about it. at one point I drafted a mail to the mods to ask if they thought it was appropriate. all that shit about actual real pcy having a fidget in his hand and the response to it happened in the middle of writing. I nearly dropped out then, and I nearly dropped out at submissions time. I wouldn’t have posted it had it not been for the support from friends& my ex and the fact it was initially going out anonymously. n like the response to it was really amazing, every single positive response (which thankfully was practically all of them) was a pleasant surprise and idek how many times I bawled over some of the comments. but it got this one comment from a mom who said reading the experiences through the characters had been more helpful than talking to professionals and had given her a better understanding of how her young child felt. it still just blows me away. it’s a silly meet-cute fic that I was nearly too cowardly to post in case someone yelled at me, and it? somehow had a reach as meaningful as that one. I think about it all the time. I think about how scared I’ve been(/still am) and how scared my fic buddies who won’t post their work are. and how that fear of being yelled at is possibly keeping people from writing that could lead to important self discovery, or comfort, information, reassurance..there’s so much about myself I only know because of fic/meta, and there’s fic I’ve written to try and have a more positive influence on anyone seeking it out than some of the negative stories that made me lose hope. it just. god it really upsets me how hard it is and how much courage it takes. it can literally change people’s lives and a lot of good, loving, positive content about gender, sexuality and mental health is staying hidden away because we’re scared someone who doesn’t like seeing a fictional version of their bias portrayed a certain way will be mad. if you’ve never had to really search for content that you can relate to or shows someone like you having a nice time..maybe it doesn’t seem like a big deal, but it really is💦