#shtxo

everything is distasteful you are forgetful no one really knows us and nothing even matters but my spine twists for myself, only myself. i doubt you'll say hello to a faded letter, a crooked tooth, a withered book. the smiles i see don't provoke me they shatter like my coughs in this season of hallow, decimated dreams. we are crookedly heaving, secretly insinuating we'll be lit by anyone in this small town called: i don't care.

i swear im ugly. the skin on my face is scarred, skin teared apart like a fallen leaf. it's red and painful, each touch of my finger makes me push away. im aware of my diluted yellow skin the frowning eyebrows the miserable grin my eyes are tired, exhausted of living. im sick of living in this nauseated abyss where the sun comes up and my eyes grow old and the kids you know are all so gold well im just a kid with shattered dreams my laughter is crackling and it pulls my body apart i beg to differ that you're as ugly as me with your soft pale skin, pale blue eyes, clean skin like a porcelain doll. you're not as ugly as me, say your goodbyes. unlike you im the unbearable stain on the floor the bruise that hits, the oil leaking on the black parking lots. im so ugly, my skin is icky and decomposition is my middle name. oh, how sad must it be for the little pale boy! when you're cleaner than a diamond they'll give you sympathy and false hope. sorry kid but you don't know the definition of ugly. if you're cleaner than the mirror. my scars cripple me, im not so clean my hands shake whenever i touch what i wish wasnt real but reality hits and im back in this unkempt mess of hair im the definition of ugly eyebrows turning down, lips squashed and faded. skin yellow and rotted, feverish vomits. nose composed of drastic nightmares and a face that defines unappealing and nauseated aches. im ugly you're just glass kid im the shit you wouldnt want to be you're nothing but a porcelain doll begging for attention im ugly in the inside and outside I'll show you how ugly really looks like porcelain dolls like you dont know the definition of ugly Oh, I'm so ugly. uglier than you.

i am homesick for home even in my own i dont feel well in this particular hell. im homesick for a home that doesnt exist. i dont belong anywhere. im sick, im sick of being mistreated. and sometimes i know it's cause im awful. my life is a broken record continually cracking like a wooden door. my skin burns like the wax on the candle my eyes are dull and empty, desireless. my life is tasteless and poisonous. I've seen myself in a hundred ways. such an awful creep i am. this house is humid and colorless it reeks of dust and sad breathes. the anger in the air still swifts around the yelling i recall echos like a million fireworks. it never stops. this house im in smells of decay and caskets full of lies pour the gasoline and you'll burn my eyes my eyes are strictly in disguise a thousand lies lie in the cubicle homesick for home i dont belong anywhere. maybe I'll just try to stay sick for some time. homesick for home where the sick never grow.

i am meaningless, you're a fuckin fraud. im the old bruises on your knees while you're snickering, being so mundane. i contemplate my own suicide cause im so full of shit and meaningless with a dash of wrath, hardly any envy. I am meaningless. while you're talking and smiling like a damned fool i grip tightly to my neck just so i can feel a thing or two, instead of counting your friends count your heart beats count the times you've felt something more instead of shit full of mistakes. i know a thing or a two about mistakes. i am one. and you're just a sharp edge in my undesired brain you make me think how i awful i am my putrid old eyes don't work for me, i know so much insincerity my lungs breath I've come to terms that im sickly and undesirable. i breath hard breaths, i wonder why im so sick of being alive i am meaningless and you're living life here i am sticking the gun to my mouth cause i know im full of dread consider me dead, cause im not a wise guy like you are, im not anything that's worthy of praise and most of the time my skin is revolting, my hands tremble of rage, my stomach quivers with nausea. my own skin is the stain of a thousand corpses I am meaningless repeats in my veins, a scar on my knees my repulsive lips sit tightly and quietly i am the pills you take when you're ready to go i am the unwavering flames that burn out just as quick as it stood i am a nobody, i couldnt care less because im so meaningless my own words reek of despair and anguish count me out, I dont belong here i dont belong anywhere.

Basements. The cool dense air in the shaft of the vents Crowds murmuring quick and heavy drops of steps that click and thump on the black wooden floor. The static of an amp is slowly rising above, the cheap perfume of a teenage girl swifts through. The lighting is duller and smaller lights of purple, green, blue shine on unfamilar faces. The air is quickly getting heavier with excitement and the crowd.is getting rowdy and loud. One cheer, another yell surrounds it all, the lights completely turn off Just as three to four men step their way onto the stage, a thump.and a simple clunk of a heavy boot The night is young and the air is broken and no more to say when you're eyes blink to sleep