#shoshiism

Here’s a shoshiism that will save you lots of time and energy. 

We live in a very sensitive time right now. I can say that because I am a sensitive cheeky. It’s there though, and it’s obvious-- we have unfollowing, unfriending, blocking, missed calls--really harsh stuff...or is it?  Being someone who communicates a great deal with lots of people, I often found myself hurt if I didn’t get a call back or a birthday wish or even a hi back sometimes...it bled through in my friendships, relationships, professional relationships, and family ties. Was I not worth it? Did I not do enough to show that I deserve to be cared for? Where was MY attention and how come I was so good at giving it but not getting it? these questions were the NASCAR race happening in my head. it exhausted me, but then one day I sat in my friend’s jeep and we got to talking. He said words that I’ll never forget. 

It’s NOT about you. 

DING DING MOTHER TRUCKING DING 

Guys. 

we are all in the middle of life right now. Do you really think if your best friend of 8 years doesn’t love you anymore if she hasn't answered your phone call? let’s pay more attention here. Do you really think it has ANYTHING to do with you if someone is acting weird? We’re adults. We don’t have time to play these guessing games,  you should trust that your friends/family/significant other/boss are all mature enough to just talk to you if YOU are in fact the cause or root of a problem/issue. You have a voice too! if you suspect anything just ask them, but I guarantee you, 9 times out of 10 you will be looked at like you're crazy because it was never about YOU in the first place. We are conceited people, it is what it is. We think it’s all about us so we let blockages happen when they didn't need to happen at all. You know when people are like oh this is so awkward... YEAH IT’S REALLY NOT, YOU’RE JUST MAKING IT AWKWARD. Socially Media has completely made things personal without them being personal at all. How many times have you read a status and thought, “oh I wonder if thats about me?” get over it. Even if it is about you (which it’s prob not) get over it! we don’t have time for petty stuff people! We have dreams and goals to reach, we have people we need to help, we have life! 

So do yourself a favor and stop taking things so personally. It’s going to make everything so much better for you, I promise. 

Hi to whoever is reading this, 

I don’t know if you guys have ever experienced this, but one of the biggest things that bothers me is when people just decide to not be in communication with you anymore. I think it bothers me because 1. It’s usually a really sudden thing to happen 2. You don’t always see it coming 3. People don’t always have to justify themselves

With that said, I also have to add that although it sucks when that happens and it might even hurt, every time I’ve experienced this I’ve also always found a piece of myself in the process. It’s pretty cool, it’s like, “well you suck for being so mean and just leaving, but hey look! There’s my charisma I never knew I had before!” It’s pretty stellar. The only thing I could really say to paint this as a picture for you would be this: imagine someone is leaving (friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, parent, sibling, etc.) and they have their hands behind their back. Now imagine them walking away and dropping whatever was in their hands, and picture yourself picking it up and calling after them saying, “wait! You dropped this!” And only until you look down do you realize it’s actually something that belongs to you.

What would you do?!

You’ve just found a piece of YOU!

Here’s what I can tell you:

I would recommend you get to know this piece of you because there’s a reason why you found it when you did. People aren’t always the ones with all the answers, sometimes you know app the answers—you just don’t realize you do 🙈

Give yourself some “me” time, and instead of thinking about why someone isn’t in your life anymore- think about what their absence has added to your life and how you can better yourself.

Remember, taking something away always means that you’re also adding something new.

Stay Warm and Safe Everyone!