This is a draft i've held on to for like two years, its heavily self indulgent but meh what isn't.. anywasy ethan winters my dead husbandd
- heâd probably have something in the background when sleeping, iâm thinking sorting algorithms. Though on a more serious note heâd probably like soft rock or something for sleep? Maybe just some old tv (late 90âs, early 2000âs type) running in the background
- i feel like before all the trauma of re7 and re8, heâd have a decent sleep schedule, maybe one or two late nights when working but overall normal. After that? Itâs a mess honestly. He probably became a light sleeper and has frequent nightmares.
- Having something to hug at night (you, a gifted plushie, or simply a pillow) as well as the noise helps ground him and keep those nightmares away
- heâs probably got a little bit of anxiety at all times, but if you have anxiety similar or6 worse than his, heâd get that âanxiety overrideâ and overcome it just for you
- you donât wanna tell the waiter/cashier your order? Heâll do it for you. dreading writing an email? Heâll help you!
- you got him a plush for his birthday one year (probably after re7) and itâs a bat (âitâs cute but why a bat?â âWell.. i know how you have nightmares and I want you to feel comforted by it, so I want you to imagine itâs me protecting you..? I donât know, sorry itâs probably stupid-â âno, thats- thank you. Iâll treasure itâ)
- okay realistically i feel like ethan doesnât really yell in his everyday life? like maybe heâs a bit louder if getting annoyed but it probably would get to a point of booming (?). On this note, if youâre sensitive to yelling (like I am.. i flinch and get generally hella nervous when someone is yelling) so heâd make sure to try to keep his voice steady even if frustrated or mad because of how it can affect you
- i imagine one time he got like, really frustrated while on a call and noticed how you started hiding/covering your ears while curling up in yourself. He felt so bad likely quickly finishing the call, before tossing his phone somewhere and hugging you
- singing? He probably does it in the car a lot, loves when you join in. [[
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summary: you and your s/o broke up because they said 'i love you' to you on your 5 month anniversary and you were shocked, and confused but they took it the wrong way and you broke up. tommy, tubbo and ranboo try to comfort you <3
warnings: swearing/cursing, mentions of break up, crying mention, comfort/fluff, a bit of threatening-
a/n: this actually made me cry-
"GUYS!! YOU'VE BEEN ARGUING OVER WHAT MOVIE WE'RE GOING TO WATCH FOR A FUCKING HOUR!! can we please just watch the damn movie?"
"right- sorry y/n.."
"its okay.."
"so what did you choose?" s/o says wrapping their arm around your shoulder.
cuddling closer to them you answer: "home alone."
"what?"
"IT'S NOWHERE NEAR CHRISTMAS!!"
"so? we've got to get into the christmas spirit!!"
(after the movie)
"DID YOU SEE ALL THE TRAPS HE SET UP? ON HIS OWN? HE'S FUCKING 10!!"
"goodnight y/n." s/o says giving you a goodnight kiss on the doorstep.
"goodnight."
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT WON'T WORK?"
"the computers won't turn on and y/n's not back yet! we have to wait for them, they'll help us!!"
"but they won't be back till-"
at that moment you walked into the house.
"y/n!! how was it? are you free now? will they call you late-"
"-they broke up with me."
"what-
"they did what?"
"THEY DID WHAT?"
"why?"
"they just didn't want to be my s/o anymore.."
"okay but- was there a reason? did they say why?"
"ON YOUR 5 MONTH ANNIVERSARY TOO?"
"I'M GOING TO MURDER TH-"
"tommy!"
"but y/n-fine. sorry."
"do you want some ice cream? there's some in the fridge-"
"look guys i appreciate the concern, i really do. but i really do not want to drown my tears in ice cream over them. now where can i find a box?"
"why do you-"
"i ask the questions"
"sorry-"
"there's a cardboard one behind the sofa."
"couch."
"sofa."
"couch."
"SOFA"
"COUCH"
"ITS A FUCKING SOFA OKAY? now can we not do this again?"
"british people-"
"hey! you came here! you've got yourself to blame."
"oh-"
"sorry. that was mean. i'm not in the mood."
"its okay."
"thanks for the box."
"anytime."
you smile at them all before carrying the box to your bedroom, although tommy follows you to see what your doing.
"so.. what are you planning to do with the box? are you going to make a little cardboard fort or- why are you throwing the pillow to the box?"
"they touched it. they looked at it." you say leaving tommy standinf confused. "the first time they came here they picked it up and played with it." you continue.
"y/n. you've just broken up with your s/o. but you've had that pillow for as long as i can remember. you can't just throw away a perfectly good pillow just because they picked it up."
"yes i can." you say grabbing some more stuff.
"A BOOK?"
"they borrowed it from me. i made them read it."
"but- its your book!! don't you love books?"
"not that one."
"that's been your favourite since- god i can't even remember, thats how long ago it was."
"well- not anymore. can you please take this all away? or burn it?"
"but-"
"please. burn it."
"but the pillow, photos and book-"
"tommy-"
"right. burn box. got it."
(with tommy, tubbo and ranboo)
"your not actually going to burn it, right?"
"no. i'll put it in the storage closet. my mum told me how she did that after every break-up she had-"
"that's a smart idea."
for the next few weeks you barely wanted to go anywhere, because everywhere you went reminded you of them. you stayed in your bedroom all day listening to music, occasionally tommy, or tubbo or ranboo would come in and try to cheer you up.
a couple weeks later
"i'm ready to wallow."
"what?"
"cry. i'm ready to cry."
".."
"i need ice cream."
"ice cream, got it!!"
tubbo and ranboo went to go get you ice cream while tommy comforted you with an army of blankets. "don't worry about them y/n.. they were a dickhead anyway. i knew they were no good-"
"TOMMY!"
"no, its fine" you say inbetween laughs. "its kinda cheering me up."
"see!!" tommy says smirking at tubbo."
"so what would you do to them."
"AHA! i thought you'd never ask.. first of all, i would-"
Every single book from the human world warned you against them.
The lessons were built into the very foundation of your mind, concepts that you should have committed to your heart long before you ever came to the Devildom.
Demons lie. Demons sin. Demons kill. And they have no qualms about any of their transgressions.
What foolery ever made you think they were different? What ignorance compelled you to believe the utter shit that Diavolo spewed into your ear? What raw stupidity made you think that these manifestations of evil were good?
It feels so obvious nowâall the signs.
And there were so many goddamn signs.
You should have raised your eyebrows when you learned that RAD was a school. You should have guarded your heart from that very second, because why the fuck would these creatures that have lived thousands of years need to pursue an education for that long? Humans can hardly tolerate two decades of education before taking up a new occupation; millennia is torture.
But when Lucifer spoke about the student exchange program, you nodded along dumbly. Too mesmerized by the grandeur of the hall around you and the beauty of the men in front of you to ever realize how they stared at you like meat, as if you were being slow-cooked to perfection before their very eyes and they were just waiting for the moment when they could eat you.
They even made jokes about it, didn't they?
Beel's unending comments about his hunger, all made while staring straight into your eyes. Asmo's repeated jokes about tasting you, jokes that always felt more anticipating than they did sexual. Mammon's constant refusal to let other demons near you, saying that they would spoil you. Like you were milk and he didn't want you to curdle. Like you were a soul he was waiting to devour, and he didn't want you to get dirty.
Of course, you never picked up on it. You smiled when they smiled and laughed when they laughed, never realizing that their humor was sourced from your utter ignorance.
How blind you were.
It was as if the moment you entered the Devildom, your brain completely shut off.
You never questioned the strangeness of Simeon's demeanor. Barely thought twice about how his outfit was hardly fit for an angel, merely deluded yourself into thinking that the softness of his hair correlated to a softness in his nature. You never realized that he and Luke were the only creatures to stay in their humanoid form. That they never revealed any halos or wings to you. That they emanated the same spirit of darkness as all the demons around you, the only difference being a superficial change in their uniforms and the title "angel" that had been cast upon their shoulders, a lie to delude you into a sense of security.
And it worked.
You felt at home with the demons, and you felt so safe every time you encountered the false angels.
Why, you suppose Luke did the best job of them all.
It's an impressive feat, given that he is the youngestâbut now that all the demons you've come to know have transformed into their true forms, you realize that his childlike appearance was nothing more than a trick of magic. That every ounce of hatred he claimed to bear for demons was one meant for your kind. That you had been wholly and utterly deceived by a demon you once named your adopted little brother, the creature no more an angel at heart than he is a sibling to you.
The very thought sends a pang of pain straight to your heart.
A shudder runs of your spine, the instinctive movement only serving to further alert you in your conditions, but no amount of adrenaline can save you now.
You can hardly see. You can hardly hear. You can hardly feel, save for the cold sensation of the iron shackles that hold your body up.
But you can think.
And the more you think, the more obvious it all becomes.
It never struck you as odd that an ancient king of Israel was your classmate. No, you bought into the notion that you were truly at RAD because you were an exchange student, and you believed Diavolo when he said that Solomon was just like you.
A lie.
One among many.
The sorcerer was your only chance to live, your only chance to escape. He was the only man you met who wasn't a demon, who wasn't quietly laughing at your every move, who wasn't waiting to feast on your soul. Solomon was the only out you ever hadâand maybe, just maybe, if you had taken the opportunity to befriend him, he might have told you the truth of your situation and helped you leave.
But from the very first day, Lucifer warned you that Solomon was shady. That Solomon was evil. That Solomon would hurt you.
And so put up your defenses against the only person who might have saved you.
But then again, isn't he the man who doomed you in the first place?
A weak sound vibrates in your throat as you attempt to speak, but the magic that binds you is even stronger than the iron around your wrists. Your voice is gone, the equivalent of nothing when faced with such potent magic. The reality of your situation weighs on your shoulder, weighs on your soul.
It is the final push you need.
You can practically feel the moment your soul splits, your resolve shattering alongside your heart, the essence of you opening up like a clam to reveal a most beautiful pearl inside.
The sound of laughter, sharp and cruel, rings out from in front of you, and you hear the voice of the only other human in the realm.
"There it is," He drawls, his voice penetrating the magic he's wrapped you in to keep your senses dulled. "Seasoned to perfection."
"And so it is." Diavolo's voice echoes inside the small chambers of your foolish, foolish brain." I think this soul might be your best work yet, Solomon."
A pause. Long, but only because Diavolo knows that it tortures you to be unable to move or see, only able to cling to the fragments of what you can hear.
"This is what, Solomon? The seventy-fourth?"
"The seventy-third."
"Very well. I'd choose for you, but this human's soul looks especially...appetizing." If you weren't frozen in place, the tone in Diavolo's voice would make you tremble. "You may select anyone in this room."
And there it is.
The truth you should have seen from the start.
A human soul in exchange for a demon's pledge. A feast for many in exchange for a pact between two. The peak of temptation in exchange for the epitome of strength.
The clues were always there. But you've only pieced them together when it's too late.
You don't need to see to know that Solomon is approaching Lucifer. You don't need to hear to understand the circumstances that have killed you. It is perhaps the first time you don't even need to think to know such an intrinsic truth, that the mage has used you in his quest for power, his quest for control, his quest for strength, a journey which renders lives like yours nothing but casualties along the way.
"Would you like me to remove the magic before you begin your feast?"
"Yes." Immediately, a rush of sensation overcomes your body, the coldness of the air stinging your skin. And then your senses are on fire. "After all, the human soul is so much more delicious when it is in pain."
Your mouth opens the moment Solomon's magic releases you from its bounds. You're ready to beg. To plead. To cry and strip yourself of every ounce of dignity if it means you won't need to bear the agony of having your soul ripped to shreds and eaten by the demons around you.
But the only sound that leaves your mouth is a deafening scream, because they've already begun to devour you.
And you have to ask yourself once more: how dumb can you possibly be?
There is no hope, there is no salvation. There never was and there never will be.
There is only pain as you listen to your screams mingled with Solomon's receding footsteps as he walks away from his freshly-made pact and the demons who remain, little gasps of pleasure rolling off their tongues as they savor the most delicious meal they've had in millennia.
And between the most excruciating pain you've ever felt and the overwhelming sense of betrayal that paints your agony darker, a single mantra echoes in your mind.
You should have known they were lying.
It is your final thought, before pain trumps all else and even your thoughts have been set afire.
I started writing new xuexiao fic featuring Xiao Xingchen and his nightmares and Xue Yang being a loving (and terrible*) boyfriend
Just a bad dream. He was safe. He wasnât alone.
âChengmei?â
âYes, that would be me,â said Chengmei and laughed. âDid you expect to find somebody else here?â he asked, but light-heartedly, no bite in his tone.Â
Still, Xiao Xingchen shook his head, feeling the need to answer. âI wasnât expecting anyone to be here,â he said quietly.
He realized how tightly he clung to Chengmei and loosened his grip. It was probably hard to breathe for his dearest friend. Yet he never complained when Xiao Xingchen held onto him like a lifeline, even though Xiao Xingchen suspected sometimes it had to hurt. He also never complained about getting woken up by Xiao Xingchenâs nightmares, which surely had to be tiring for him too.Â
awwwwww Xue Yang... I mean, Chengmei is a real sweetheart, isnât he? (he isnât, if you read my headcanons about Xiao Xingchenâs nightmares then you know he definitely isnât)
*of course Xiao Xingchen doesnât know how terrible he is, because he doesnât know his friendâs true identity
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"Ino come on I didn't wear your stupid top." I said as my older sister went through all of my clothes
"Are you sure?" She questioned.
"Yeah last I saw it you were making out with Sai in the living room." I said making her roll her eyes at me.
"Whatever Rini I'm going to Sakura's for the night to plan for prom if you want to stop by. Remember your boyfriend isn't allowed in your room after 8." She said making me scoff.
"Yes because before 8 sex is so much worse and more appalling." I tease as she walks out of my room. I watched her leave as I waved goodbye making sure she got all the way down the street in her car before I walked back inside flopping onto the couch. Turning on the TV I began texting my boyfriend that I was bored, which I was, and that I wanted to play chess with him, which I did.
"You're the most . . ." He started when I opened the door for him but I raised my eyebrow at him.
"If you say anything along the lines of troublesome woman one more time I will kick you in that pineapple shaped head of yours." I warned.
"Got it. So you wanted to play chess? Or did you mean you wanted to lose at chess . . . again?" He questioned with a smirk.
"Actually I was thinking about playing Rock Band. I mean only if you can do it and not cry when I win." I say making him shrug as he took off his hoodie while I set up the game. It was a very obvious struggle to push out the drum set for me to use.
"Seriously? You have to pick it up to go over the carpet." He said giving in to help me with it. Smiling sweetly I pecked him on the cheek before grabbing the guitar for him.
"Alright what song do you want to do?" I asked as he browsed the songs to choose from.
"You mean I get to pick the song? That's not very fair for you." He said which just made me grin. He didn't know how often I played the game and how I played every song because hey I had nothing else to do when I wasn't at school, doing homework, helping out at the flower shop, and or any of the basic human needs. Finally he settled on a song which happened to be my favorite.
"I haven't played this one in a bit." I say shakily as he smirks.
"Winner gets to make the loser do whatever he . . . or she wants for the rest of the day." He honestly thinks he can beat me.
"Got it." I say before the song starts. Not even three minutes later does the song end declaring that I had won.
"How?" He asked taking off the guitar.
"Easy. This is my favorite game." I say with a grin.
"That's cheating." He complained making me laugh.
"It's called a hustle sweetheart." I quote our favorite movie which made him groan as he sat on the couch.
"So what do you want me to do?" He asked causing me to grin so big that I thought my face would split in half. The rest of the night was spent having him run back and forth from the kitchen, carry me all around the house, and show me his strategies for chess. Around 11 o'clock we both started yawning even though he had been yawning the entire time when he thought I wasn't looking at him. Eventually we were sprawled out on the couch watching some pathetic attempt at a horror movie.
"Oh look the blonde chick died because she was too busy having sex with some idiot instead of finding a way out of the dangerous situation." I said throwing a piece of popcorn at the TV.
"Well if she didn't die then how would they have the hot brunette save the idiot guy who got kidnapped first and kill off the bad guys?" Shika said making me roll my eyes.
"Blondie should've hid somewhere that wasn't as noticeable as inside of a gas station that has gas leaking everywhere." I whine making him laugh at me.
"Are you seriously going to cry about a fake persons death?" He teased sitting up and leaning towards me.
"Only if someone else dies in a worthy manner will I shut up about her death." I say sitting up to better watch the movie. Eventually the movie had ended and I was laying on top of him as he slept. Looking over his face I got an idea.
"Don't even think about it." He said making me groan.
"Come on it would be cute." I whined as he opened one eye to look at me.
"It would not be cute it would be embarrassing for both of us." He tried to convince me. No way was I going to let this opportunity slip.
"I just need one cute picture of us to show everyone to brag about how cute, sweet, and . . ." I trailed off because he was staring at me funny.
"What?" I questioned making him shrug before staring up at the ceiling. After a minute of that I stood up and went into the kitchen. Grabbing a water I took a gulp before walking back into the living room.
"Hey I have a question for ya." He said sitting up to look at me.
"Huh?" I asked before he yanked on my wrist causing me to straddle him.
"How come you get to be as annoying as hell but I can't call you a . . Â . you know?" He asked making me glare at him.
"Because it's as you would call it . . . a drag." I say which caused him to grin before leaning up and pressing a kiss against my lips. Placing my hands at the nape of his neck I pulled him closer into the kiss as our lips moved together in sync. He moved so quickly next that I barely noticed me had moved until my back was pressed into the couch. Next thing I knew his shirt was off and mine was showing my stomach. He leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to my nose before continuing the heated kiss.
"Excuse me but that's gross." Ino's voice broke through our moment making Shika groan as he pulled away reluctantly. He grabbed his shirt off the back off the couch and tugged it on. My hands went onto the couch to support myself as I sat up which caused on to go into the couch crevice. I wiggled my fingers as Shika was glared down by Ino and felt a familiar fabric.
"So you two have nothing to say for yourselves?" She asked making me shrug as I stood up holding up the fabric in my hands.
"I found that shirt you were looking for." I said before running up the stairs pulling Shika up with me as she started yelling at me.
April first, Vidia looked at the calendar and groaned. Her birthday was a joke. It was just another day that marked another year she survived and Lorena didnât. She tried to pretend the day just didnât exist altogether.
However, people insisted on making her remember. As she walked into the Great Hall a stack of boxes were at the table where she usually sat. She knew they were presents from her pseudo-friends (because calling people friends would kill her,) and family. As Vidia got closer to the stack she saw a letter sitting on top. She took it in her hands and saw that it was from her favorite quidditch team, the Tutshill Tornadoes.
She tore through the envelope and quickly opened the letter.
Dear Ms. Ligeiro,
We are writing you back after your inquiry about scouts earlier in the year. While your talent is rare, your blatant disregard for the rules and your recent disappearance for several games, we regrettably inform you that the Tutshill Tornadoes are not interested in offering you a position on our team for this pending season.
We hope this doesnât discourage you. If anything, perhaps this will inspire you to work on your sportsmanship and team spirit.
Regards,
Michael Andrews
Representative for The Tutshill Tornadoes General Manager
Vidia swallowed hard as she tried to keep the pin prick feeling in the corner of her eyes at bay. She folded the letter and put it in her sweatshirt pocket. Vidiaâs silence was more terrifying than her outbursts of rage. She was deep inside her mind, wounded and afraid. What did this mean? Would any other team even want her? She pinned her hopes and dreams on becoming a professional quidditch player. Now they wanted nothing to do with her.
With her thoughts busy at work, Vidia brought her things back to her room. She didnât even open any of them. She looked at the poster of the Tutshillâs starting line up for the year and tore it down. âStupid team! Stupid shitty team! Fuck!â She let out a string of curse words as she tore the poster into tiny pieces. The act did little to quell her anger.
An owl came knocking on her window and gave Vidia a distraction. Her parents wanted to see her. They always gave their present in person. With the promise of calzones rotos and coffee, Vidia left for her parentâs house in Hogsmeade.
âMamĂŁe!â She shouted when she walked into the house, âPapĂĄ!â Then they came into the entryway from the kitchen. âOh lord, no.â She muttered as they wore party hats and noisemakers with a candle stuck into the center of a calzone roto.
âStop. Just stop.â Vidia exhaled deeply. âYou know I hate birthdays.â
âMija,â Vidiaâs father said with a plea, âBut youâre our baby.âÂ
âI donât care. Just please donât sing.â Vidia pinched the bridge of her nose and walked pass them into the kitchen. She knew there would be more than just one calzone roto.Â
âSo, what do you have planned for today?â Vidiaâs mother, Alda, came walking into the kitchen and blew out the candle Vidia refused to indulge in.
âNothing.âÂ
âHow about dinner with your father and I in town?â Alda possessed an air of gentleness that Vidia seemed to never inherit. Her grin was genuine as she sent waves of love toward her daughter.
âNo, Iâd rather not.â Vidia poured herself a cup of coffee and piled a hefty serving of calzone rotos onto a plate.Â
âWhatâs wrong? Youâre usually not this bitter on your birthday. Did something happen? Was it a boy? or a girl?â Vidiaâs parents were slowly catching up with her sexuality. They tried to be inclusive of all options for a future in-law. Although, Vidia reassured them that marriage was not in her future.
âIt wasnât a boy or a girl,â Vidia laughed and shook her head at the assumption.
âThen what is it?â
Vidia contemplated telling her parents about the letter. She really didnât want to but they were her parents and they had no other choice but to love her. She also didnât want them to know the reason she wanted to go pro so bad was to avoid living their lives.
âCome on, Mija. You can tell me.â Vidiaâs mother tapped Vidia on the nose.
âThe Tutshills donât want me.â She muttered.
âIâve got presents!â Luis, Vidiaâs father, entered holding two boxes and a bag.
âNot now, Luis,â Alda whispered.
âIâm a good player but apparently my style isnât desirable.â Vidia put it lightly.
âIâm sure other teams will want you.â
âI doubt it. The Tutshill Tornadoes were my favorite team.â Vidia gritted her teeth as she tried not to cry.Â
âDonât worry. You can always get a job with the Ministry.â Her father piped in cheerfully.
âI donât want a job with the Ministry. I want to play quidditch.â Vidia pushed around the rotos on her plate before stuffing one into her mouth.Â
âWhat about becoming a referee? Consuela at work has a son who recently became a referee. I can ask around about that.â Alda nodded happily.
âYou do that. Iâm going to take this one on the road.â Vidia chugged her coffee and stuffed a few rotos into her front pocket. She recoiled as her fingers hit the letter.Â
âOkay, well,â Alda looked at Luis, âAt least open your presents before you leave.â Vidia looked at them both and couldnât help but appease them.
She opened the large box and it was coffee from all around the world. The smaller box was a coffee cup with her birth year. The bag had a hat and a cell phone case. The card attached to it all was heartwarming, too. âGracias,â She kissed each of her parents on the cheek.  "Adios!âÂ