#shopdontadopt

11 May 2019: We all have friends in every moments of our lives, whether be it happiness, sadness, marriage, divorce, kids, accidents, events, etc. Some come with people, some stay on and some leave. Some we meet even after we leave them or life has removed them... While all circumstances are understandable, there is one classification of friends or shall i say type of friend I cannot understand. I hope in my first blog, I am able to explain what i mean.

Im a late 30′s woman and have experienced a number of things in my life. One of them being a divorce. It has become a very common thing now and not a taboo subject unlike a few decades ago... Before Divorce, comes marriage where two people ensure that they adopt everything that the other person is being from a whole new family, a new house, new habits, new sacrifices, a new lifestyle and most of all new friends. They can be of either a group that's completely new or of course if partners know each other for a long time, then mutual friends. 

Now, having said that everything is very hunky dory in the beginning, new friends, lots of parties, get togethers, efforts are made, drinks food... etc etc Basically everything that goes as investment into a friendship. Bonds strengthen overtime, secrets are shared, fun laughter happiness everything is shared.

We adopt our spouse’s friends like they are our own and begin to call them our friends or should i say my friends.

Then a very strange thing happens...

During fights, it becomes your friends vs mine... 

“How dare you bring my friends in between?” 

“They are my friends, not yours...”

“Go find your own friends....”

“How can you ask my friend for this?”

Im sure some of us have gone through this scenario must relate to it. 

My simple question here is which i am trying to understand is... how come we adopt our spouse’s friends and yet at the slight disagreement/fight, they are not our friends? have we invested any less? have we not taken them to be our own....?

The irony in this is that the so called adopted friends actually as time goes along show their true colors.. they either stand by both or only one and conveniently forget or care about the other who has made a lot of efforts into maintaining a friendship. 

Why adopt? You rather shop for your own friends isn't it... someone who will stand by you...